Category Archives: parenting

mom approved tips, parenting

Mom-Approved Tips: Teaching Teens Consquences

 

teaching teens consequencesOne of the first things we learn growing up is that all of our actions have consequences. If we pull a glass of water off the table, it will spill all over us. If we touch a hot burner on the stove, it will burn. If we pick up a knife on the blade, it will cut us.

Selective memory loss

Teaching teens consequences can be challenging. Unfortunately, too many teens don’t carry that knowledge into their teen years as they begin to make choices that are life changing and life altering. They don’t rationalize that sleeping with someone you just met can have consequences: sexually transmitted diseases, AIDS, pregnancy, rape and even at the very worst murder. They don’t think that cheating on a test in school, even if you don’t get caught, robs you of an education and learning. They don’t see that getting in a car with a drunk driver could end in tragedy because most teens who are drunk believe they have the capacity to drive. They can’t look far enough into the future to see that going to a college they can’t afford could land them in overwhelming debt after graduation.

Running down the scenarios

I know. All those scenarios are a bit dramatic. But let’s just think before we discount them as viable examples of ignoring the consequences of our choices. Your teen would be well served if he did the same. The next time your teen is tempted to sleep with someone they just met, what would happen if they ran over the previously stated consequences in their mind before they decide to do it? There would be consequences to their decision: good or bad. Before they make the decision to cheat on that next test, they replay the scenarios in their mind before they make those cheat notes. The consequences would be either good or bad. Before they get into a car with another teen who is drunk or drive drunk themselves, imagine what would happen if there is an accident and their friends or other innocent drivers and passengers are killed. Before making those final college choices, your teen should know that their ability to repay massive student loans depends on their ability to gain employment after graduation that would provide enough income to pay back those loans.

All decisions have consequences

When you’re young and your whole life is ahead of you, you tend to function in the present. Twenty or thirty years from now seems like an eternity to someone in their teens. But time has a way of catching up with us and every choice we make when we are young has both good and bad consequences. The trick is to know when those consequences aren’t worth the risk. And the other trick is to pause long enough before taking those risks to weigh both the good and the bad.

If your teen gets anything from this bit of advice, let it be this: take time to think before you act. Weigh the good and the bad consequences. Then once they decide, make the best of their decision and swallow the good with the bad. Every path they take in life has the potential for greatness. Encourage your teen to be wise and think before they act, knowing that their choice could potentially be the wrong one.

 

parenting, Uncategorized, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Straight Talk about Peer Pressure

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from pocsmom.com to parentingforcollege and vice versa.

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Straight Talk about Peer Pressure

peer pressure

If your friend jumped off a bridge would you do it? 

This is a classic parental adage. I can’t count how many times my parents uttered that statement to me. My childhood consisted of daily reprehensible acts that I’m sure made my mother cringe in terror. I took every dare or challenge, even if it required any physical risk of life or limb. Oddly enough, I never broke a bone. I have many scares from cuts and scrapes, but never took a trip to any emergency room. Danger was exhilarating to me and I found pleasure in the simple acts of childhood defiance.

It seemed only fair that God would bless me with children who followed in my footsteps. My son was born with the same spirit of defiance. As a child, he was always “jumping off that bridge” and taking others with him. If it was dangerous, he was up for it. One hot summer day I came home from work to find him and some friends skateboarding off the roof into an above ground swimming pool. For months we had been trying to discern the cause of numerous indentations in the pool liner causing leaks. He had been doing this all summer long and crashing his skateboard into the bottom of the pool as he came off the roof. It did not even occur to him that this might be dangerous or risky. One of his friends had suggested they try it and he was more than willing to give it a shot.

My daughter, for most of her life, stood back and watched. She did very little “jumping off of bridges” until her last few years of high school. It was at this point that she decided to literally jump off her first bridge. One summer night, while driving to the beach with friends, they decided to stop on a bridge that crosses over an island with a small channel that passes from the Gulf of Mexico to the intercoastal canal. Apparently it was a common practice among teenagers to do this because there was a sign posted warning against it. That didn’t stop my daughter. She jumped off that bridge that night and continued to take dangerous risks all through her college years.

As parents it is our natural instinct to protect our children from danger. At a young age, we caution them about looking both ways before they cross the street. When they get older, we teach them to ride bicycles and warn them of the dangers of riding at night without reflectors. During their teenage years, our greatest fear is that they will get into the car with a reckless or drunk teen driver. And in college, we’re afraid they will do something to put their lives in jeopardy because they are impaired by alcohol. These peer pressures keep parents up at night and even the most stalwart of heart frightened.

If they don’t want to play with you, then find some other friends

When my kids were younger, I must have said this at least once a week. The simple fact is that kids can be cruel. They don’t care about hurting your kid’s feelings or making them cry. And a group of kids can be even crueler. Sadly, I have found that these same kids grow up to be teens and later adults. Those same kids that tortured you as a child continue to torture people as adults. It doesn’t matter what their groups are called: cliques, “the in-crowd”, fraternities, “junior league”, society, power circle, the “rich and famous”, or even the cool ones. They exclude the ones who are not like them.

What can you do about these “friends” that don’t want to play with you? The real question for me is why do you want to play with them at all? Why would anyone want to be that shallow, opinionated, callous, uncaring and insensitive? Why would anyone want to be accepted into a group that sets its values as money, power, prestige and the right address? You can strive your entire life to be accepted by these people, but when push comes to shove, they will never be friends. They let you play with them when it’s convenient or beneficial for them. They will never sacrifice any of their needs, wants or desires to meet you halfway or even try and see things from your point of view. They will never change. They have been that way since they were children and will continue to set their values and goals as they relate to the group they belong to.

My advice to anyone in this situation is to find some new “friends”. Find some friends that have the same values as you. Find some friends that are kind to those around them. Find some friends that sacrifice and give for others. Find some friends that speak to you in love and compassion, not judgment and condemnation. Quite frankly, this group is much larger than the ones who don’t play fair.

What’s a parent to do?

Unfortunately, you can’t keep your kids in a cocoon and protect them from themselves or their friends. And you can’t spend your whole life worrying about what they are doing with they are not with you. You can teach them basic survival skills and instill in them moral values. You can help them choose friends that don’t “jump off bridges”. You can give them every opportunity to take supervised risks so they will be less likely to take the dangerous kind.

When they come to you and ask to do something because “all their friends are doing it”, be a wise parent and don’t reach for the closest parental adage. Explain to them your reasons for concern and reaffirm your love for them. Make sure they aren’t giving in to peer pressure. Have them give you their reasons for wanting to go on a 5-day unsupervised trip to Mexico. After both sides have stated their cases, it is your responsibility as a parent to make the proper decision. Your kids may balk and scream and say they hate you forever. They may storm out of the room and slam the door when you tell them no. But even though you didn’t say it, you know that just because their friends “jump off bridges”, it doesn’t mean they have to follow.

Note: This is an excerpt from my book: Biscuits Taste Best with Chocolate Sauce (or Because I’m the Mother). Soon to be published in 2014.

For Wendy’s take on Peer Pressure, read her blog as well.

mom approved tips, parenting

Mom-Approved Tips: Inside the mind of a college-bound teen

 

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teen brainThe stress of the college admissions season weighs heavy on your college-bound teen. I read an old article today from a NY Times blog and I felt it was worth sharing to help you go inside the mind of a college-bound teen and see just exactly what they are feeling.

Fear

They may seem fearless at times, but as they approach the final months of high school fear sets in. One teen, Phoebe Lett, 16 talks about how she feels as a junior.

“I fear for my rapidly approaching senior year. Should I really spend nine hours a night on school work? As I rack up as many extracurriculars, community service hours and “beneficial relationships” (college-prep speak for impressive recommendations), I can’t help but think that it’s not good enough. Better grades, higher scores, more varsity letters, more leads in the play: have I been bulking up an application that perhaps doesn’t reflect who I am, but instead just represents what a college wants from me? That is my true fear.”

Pressure

The pressure they feel is of paramount proportions. This pressure will be exhibited in all kinds of emotions from tears, to anger, to denial to frustration. Robin Karlin, 17 felt the pressure of failing.

“Around the application deadline you’re studying for finals, and it’s your senior year. You already have a lot of classes and you have to write essays and you’re already stressed out thinking “what if they don’t want me?’’ And you worry what if you don’t get into any school at all? I’m not from a big city. We have pretty good schools, but I think in a bigger city with more people you have more perspective on where you stand in the nation. I’m not really sure how good I am.”

Rejection

If your student hasn’t experienced rejection, get ready. There’s a strong possibility some of the colleges they apply to won’t offer them admission. Sam Werner, 18, felt disappointment when the rejection letters started arriving.

“Everyone I had talked to, once they heard “perfect SAT,” they said, “You can get in anywhere.” That was the hardest part, having everyone tell me I would and then not getting in. It was a rough few days. The rejection letters and my parents both kept telling me it’s not a case of me not being good enough, but a case of too many qualified applicants. But it’s really hard not to feel like you got rejected….”

What is the cost?

At the end of their senior year it will all be over; but at what cost? Doctors treat teens with headaches, stomach pain, lack of sleep, depression, eating disorders and mental health issues. Some have been thinking about college since 6th grade and by the time senior year rolls around they are spent. Some kids are able to handle it, others are not so lucky.

Relieving some of the pressure

College admission is how students define their success. Years down the road, they will see that some of those rejections probably sent them into better directions. But for now, don’t add to the problem. Don’t pressure them to apply to schools that their chance of acceptance is 1%. Remind them that this is simply one step in their life and there are no failures, only successes if you try.

parenting, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Parent-Teacher Communication

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Sign up for my FREE parent tips email and get my FREE Ebook on college financing!

Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from pocsmom.com to parentingforcollege and vice versa.

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parent teacher communicationParent-teacher communication tends to wane after the student enters high school. Parents become less involved and teachers become apathetic because of the lack of parent involvement.

When my daughter was in high school she was struggling with her Physics class. She was an A student, aspiring to college, and panicked about her recent test grades in that course. I called the teacher to set up a conference. She sounded shocked on the phone and I wondered why. When I met with her she said I was the first parent that had ever called her to discuss a student’s progress. She also told me that parents rarely show up for parent/teacher nights in high school.

I explained to her my concern and my daughter’s concern about her low grades because she was working toward a high GPA for college applications. Again, I saw shock in her face. “Few students in this school worry about their GPA or going to college”, she said. I, in turn, was shocked. To make a long story short, she scheduled private tutoring sessions for my daughter and explained the material to her at a level she could understand. The result–an A in Physics.

What can parents learn from this experience?

It’s obvious–communicate with your student’s teachers on a regular basis.

Following are excerpts from articles about the parent-teacher relationship. Read the suggestions carefully and apply the techniques provided on each site the next time you meet with your student’s teacher.

Noodle Education posted an article on the top 5 questions to ask at a parent-teacher conference:

1. How will you assess what my child knows? How does the school use the information garnered from standardized testing? Does it inform their teaching? Assist them in identifying students who may need help?

2. What’s the best way to communicate with teachers and administrators?

3. How can I stay on top of my child’s homework?

4. What’s support is available if my child is struggling academically?

5. When and how does my child get supervision?

More4Kids gives 5 tips for having effective parent and teacher communication:

1. First, it is important to understand that parent and teacher communication is intended to benefit the child’s overall success academically.

2. While the numeric scores will outline a child’s level of achievement on tests and other assignments, it is important to realize that a numeric score is also beneficial in identifying a child’s weaknesses.

3. Many parents make the mistake of sitting back and allowing a teacher to come to them with issues.

4. It is important to sign up as a volunteer in your child’s classroom and ensure that you visit their class often.

5. It is important to understand that parent/teacher conferences may not always be appropriate as far as time is concerned.

PBS Parents talks about the importance of the parent-teacher partnership:

1. Approach this relationship with respect.

2. Let your child develop his own relationship with the teacher.

3. Try not to brag.

4. Remember how you liked (or disliked) your teachers.

Parent-teacher breakdowns

If you neglect the relationship, you are hindering your student academically. An uninvolved parent is the worst type of parent to be. Even more so than the helicopter parent. And uninvolved teacher communicates lack of concern and an inability to connect with parents and students to promote learning.

Step up

If you haven’t talked with your student’s teacher and/or teachers set the date. If you don’t attend parent’s night, change that behavior. If you are the type of parent that won’t accept honest evaluations from the teacher, listen the next time you meet with him/her and ask for suggestions to help.

Parents who value parent-teacher communication are parents of students who have a successful high school experience. Think of it as teaming up with the teacher to help your student excel academically. It’s never too late to get involved.

 Check out Wendy’s blog on the parent-teacher relationship

financial aid, mom approved tips, parenting, Uncategorized

Mom-Approved Tips: Talking to your teens about financing college

 

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financing collegeIf you have a college-bound teen you’re well aware of the cost of college–it’s high. In a recent story in Business Week, one graduate confessed she had given up on her student loan debt of $186,000. She is not alone. With the nation struggling under a $1 trillion student debt crisis, stories like hers are nothing uncommon. For the first time ever, the national student loan default rate exceeds the credit card delinquency rate, and so long as student loans remain one of the few types of debt that can’t be discharged in bankruptcy, chances are the situation won’t improve any time soon. 

As their parent, it’s up to you to make sure they don’t fall prey to debt that they cannot repay after grduation. Before they ever accept an offer of admission, you need to talk to them about financing college. In my Parents Countdown to College Crash Course I call it “the money talk”.

Following are a few tips to help broach that uncomfortable topic with your college-bound teen:

The cold, hard facts

The first thing you need to discuss is finances: what you are willing to pay and what you expect them to contribute toward college expenses even if it’s just acquiring scholarships. Discuss the ramifications of student debt and talk openly about which colleges would fit into the family’s financial picture. Paint the picture clearly and explain to them this is a large investment and needs to be treated as such: you expect them to do their part and you expect them to study and to graduate.

The difference between wants and needs

This discussion is just as important as discussing the cost of the college education. When a student understands the difference between the two they can make financial decisions based of this criteria. Is it something they need or simply something they want? Don’t assume they know the difference. Most teens believe everything they want is a need. If they learn this lesson before going to college and living on their own, it will save them overdraft fees, past due notices and much heartache when they are controlled by their debt.

The college choice

Be realistic. If their dream college is out of reach financially think long and hard before you apply. This may be their first time to make a choice between what they want and what is best financially. It is a tough pill to swallow now, but they will thank you when they graduate with minimal or zero debt. The college they choose not only needs to be a perfect fit for them socially and academically; it also needs to be a perfect fit financially.

The budget

This is the perfect time to talk to your college-bound teen about creating and sticking to a budget. You may have tuition, room and board covered but there are always added expenses. Budgeting for those added expenses means there won’t be any surprises when the bills come due. Need a list of what those extras might be? Check out this article I wrote for Smart College Visit about the extras beyond tuition.

If you can’t sit them down for a time (we know how hard it is to even share a meal together), do it in segments. Just make sure you do it before they start applying to college. If you don’t, it’s going to be an uncomfortable discussion when they get accepted to their dream college and it’s not affordable for you and your student.

 

parenting, Uncategorized, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Parenting Styles

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Sign up for my FREE parent tips email and get my FREE Ebook on college financing!

Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from pocsmom.com to parentingforcollege and vice versa.

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What type of parent college coach are you? Each of us has a unique personality that will influence the way we coach our teens. The key is to find yourself, recognize your weaknesses, identify your strengths and adapt to provide your college-bound teen with the best coaching possible.

1-The “let me do it for you” parent

parenting

If you are this type of parent, you’ve most likely been doing everything for your child over the years: making their bed, cleaning their rooms, preparing their snacks, all in the name of parenthood. Don’t get me wrong, when your kids were young, they depended on you to take care of them. But part of being a parent is teaching them to do things for themselves. We taught them to tie their own shoes, ride a bike, go to school on their own, and hopefully budget their money by giving them an allowance. As they get older and the tasks become more difficult, like driving and preparing for college, we tend to want to take back the reins, fearing they might make mistakes that are life altering. But that’s the worst thing you can do. It’s your role to guide them, teach them, and train them. Always remember, the college search and application process is a teen project. You can help, but don’t do it all for them. They need to be involved and when those admissions letters arrive they will own that accomplishment.

2-The “over-anxious” parent

It’s natural to worry and fret about something you do not understand, or have never experienced. Parenthood definitely has its over-anxious moments. Teenagers are by nature over-anxious. They worry about everything: will they be accepted; will they make the cheer squad; will they pass their finals; will they be asked to the dance. Their four years of high school present numerous opportunities for anxiety and the last thing they need is added anxiety over their preparation for college. Knowledge is power—if you have the tools and know the facts you’re anxiety will decrease and you will be less likely to pass that along to your teen.

3-The “pushy” parent

Are you a “type A” personality? Do you push everyone around you to succeed? Do you strive for the best in everything? If you answered yes to those questions, you might be a pushy parent. There is a fine line between being pushy and being a cheerleader. If you push too hard, you will overwhelm your teen. You can encourage them by helping them to achieve their potential. Harping about deadlines and asking them constantly if they have completed their scholarship applications will only produce rebellion. The best way to handle your over-achiever personality is through organization. If you work with your teen to get them organized and they are aware of the deadlines, you won’t have to be that pushy parent.

4-The “my dreams are your dreams” parent

Did you dream of going to Harvard or Yale? Did you always want to go away to college and live in a dorm? Do you wish you had joined a sorority or fraternity during college or played college sports? Did you always want to be a doctor or a lawyer? We all had dreams that might not have been realized. But the worst thing you can do as a parent is to try to achieve those dreams through your children. Your teen will never be happy pursuing YOUR dreams. Their satisfaction is achieved from their own accomplishments. Their happiness comes from pursuing their own passion. The quickest way to ensure failure in college is to send your teen off to a place where they feel pressured to succeed at something they never truly wanted to pursue. If you have unfulfilled dreams, find something you can pursue yourself that will satisfy that passion; and encourage your teen to walk their own path.

5-The “I’ll think about that tomorrow” parent

This is where I fit in. I’m the world’s worst procrastinator. (The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem…isn’t that what they say?) This is the worst time in your teen’s life for you to model or encourage procrastination. The next four years can be daunting and even overwhelming, but if you approach them without planning and organization, you will never survive. The problem with this philosophy is that it won’t work with deadlines, and the college maze is all about the deadlines. If you miss them, there are no second chances or do-overs. Not only do you risk missing the deadlines, as this type of parent you add extra stress to an already stressful time. Preparation and organization are keys to overcoming procrastination. Thinking about it tomorrow will only lead to frustration, disappointment, and regret. Remember the famous maxim-Carpe Diem (Seize the Day)!

6-The “uninvolved” parent

Your teen still requires your input. They may protest greatly and say loudly, “I can do it myself.” But what they really mean is I want to try with your support and help. If you make the mistake of turning the whole process over to your teen, the odds are great that they will become overwhelmed and frustrated to the point of giving up. There are so many decisions to be made and things to keep track of over the next four years. If you have a tendency to be an uninvolved parent, your teen will most likely feel abandoned in a sea of forms, applications and deadlines. Your job is always to encourage, guide and lead your teen to stay on top of those all-important college-related tasks that require their participation. It’s great to expect them to be responsible, but you and I both know that teenagers will be teenagers. Their minds and lives are headed in hundreds of different directions and staying on task can sometimes be inconceivable. It’s your goal to steer them back on course and help them reach their final goal.

7-The “well-balanced” parent

The well-balanced parent utilizes the best organizational tools to help their college-bound teen stay focused and on track. This is the type of parent coach we should all strive to become. You balance coaching, encouragement and guidance with information gathering, organization and goal setting. Your teen does not stress about deadlines because you have sat down together and created a calendar of upcoming scholarship applications, college entrance tests, activities, and school related events. You and your teen are confident and aware of the course you have set together and assured that because you are prepared and organized, the end result will be that your teen is able to reach their goal of college acceptance. You have planned ahead concerning the financial process and have utilized all the tools available to assure an impressive financial aid award package from the colleges where applications are submitted. You coach without pushing, pressuring or stressing out and your teen knows that they have your support and can look to you for positive feedback.

We all have different parenting styles, but think about incorporating the best of each and becoming a well-balanced parent. The college process will be less stressful and your college-bound teen will be less stressed.

Read Wendy’s (POCSMom) approach on different parenting styles.

mom approved tips, parenting

Mom-Approved Tips: Out of Control Parents

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out of control parentsYou know you’ve experienced them: out of control parents. They show up at their kids sport events and yell at the coaches and the umpires. They show up in the education system bullying teachers, coaches, administrators and other parents. Their kids rarely have consequences and cannot fend for themselves in most instances. They have a strong sense of entitlement that is passed down to their kids. Nobody likes them AND nobody wants to be them.

In Early Admissions, a novel based on Lacy Crawford’s experience in college admissions office, the author relates a story:

There’s a father who rewrites his son’s Common Application essay after his son has been rejected early decision by his first-choice school. In the revision, the father argues — in the first person, ventriloquizing the boy — that communities benefit from a range of people, the superstars and the average alike, and that the student should be admitted to the other schools on his list not because he is stellar but because he is not. This happened. On the night in question, the father summoned me to proofread his new essay before ensuring that his son submitted it. It broke the boy’s heart, and it broke mine. (I did not oversee submission of that essay. I told the student how I felt, and left it in his hands to decide what to do.)

This is just an example of the many stories I have heard from admissions officers. The college world has labeled these parents: helicopter parents and other names like snowplow parents. College admissions officers all have stories to tell. If you were to hear them all, you wouldn’t believe them. Or would you? Do you sometimes think you fall into that parental demographic? I know I did and still do at times.

It’s not all bad

Unfortunately, a few bad apples spoil the bunch for the rest of us. Educators see parents coming and immediately they put their helicopter radar up. Can you blame them? We all have a little “rescuer” in us, after all. We start from the time they are born protecting them, caring for them, fighting battles for them, and most importantly, loving them. Just because they grow to be adults we don’t stop parenting. Most parents, get it. Sometimes, however, we rush in before our kids have the chance to be adults.

Drawing the line

Good parenting means involvement and participation in your kid’s lives, but when does it become more than that. Crawford asks some tough questions and points out some difficult truths:

Where do we draw the line? When does support become manipulation? When does tutoring stop helping a child, and start teaching him that on his own he’s not good enough? How can we come to realize that character — resilience, curiosity, dedication, a moral compass — is the prize here, and value that over the name on the diploma? Over time, I think, parents know this. But in the heat of senior fall, when everyone is feeling crazy, perspective can become clouded.

Clouded judgment causes parents to do unspeakable things. Competition among other parents can also cause parents to

What happens when parents are out of control?

When parents are out of control kids suffer. Not only are they embarrassed, but they are robbed of the chance to learn life skills and the thrill of doing something on their own. They don’t learn to self-advocate and they don’t get the experience of being independent.

The next time you feel like losing control and rescuing your kids, take a deep breath and think about the future. Will you be robbing them of the satisfaction of accomplishment? Will you be robbing them of learning that for every action there are consequences? Sometimes tough love is the best love of all.

Do you ever feel like an out of control parent? They say that admitting it is the first step to recovery. Here’s your chance (leave a comment)!

 

parenting, Uncategorized, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Reading, Writing and Arithmetic

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from www.pocsmom.com to www.parentingforcollege.com and vice versa.

This post is about how parents can convey the importance of academics to prepare their child for college:

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Back in the “good ole’ days” reading, writing and arithmetic were the core subjects. Kids were taught to read with “Dick and Jane”, write printing and cursive on Big Ten tablets, and master 2+2=4. But as time progressed and primary education became a stepping stone for higher education, the curriculum, while still centered around these core subjects, has evolved. With the focus on higher education, it’s even more crucial that your kids understand the importance of academics.

How has it evolved and how can you help your kids be successful learners in these three disciplines?

Reading

reading writing arithmetic

In today’s digital age, reading is done a little differently. Kids used to go to libraries and check out books; now they go online and download them for e-readers. Technology competes for their attention and hours spent reading have been replaced with hours online in social media and playing games. Finding the time read is difficult, but you need to encourage your kids to read from the time they are small children until they finish college.

Why is reading so important? It expands their vocabulary and opens their minds to new ideas. Reading is a critical part of any standardized test and a key aspect of the college entrance exams. Reading teaches them to pay attention and ingest information as they read. It’s going to benefit them in high school, in college and in life if they develop a love for reading.

Writing

Years ago writing was a separate subject. Kids were schooled in the nuances of printing and moved on to cursive. Today, most schools don’t concentrate on the mechanics of it but on the content. Additionally, written correspondence is becoming less frequent as emails and text messages are replacing actual notes and letters.

An easy way to encourage writing in your kids is start them with journaling at an early age. Writing down their thoughts helps them to learn effective communication and teaches them how to use the written word to express their thoughts and ideas. This will be incredibly helpful in high school as they work on essays and as they begin to construct their essays for college applications and scholarships.

Arithmetic

It’s amazing to me how many teens do not know how to make change or use basic math tables without a calculator. They learn the basics of addition, subtraction, multiplication and division in grade school; but as time progresses, calculators begin being used and they forget how to calculate things without them.

How can you help your kids use those skills in their daily lives? Take them to the store with you and have them calculate and compare prices. Download math games and puzzlers to their phones, tablets and e-readers. As they move on into high school, help them to see the importance of math skills and formulas. Having these courses in your high school curriculum will help them as they apply to colleges and eventually move on to more advanced math in college and in their careers.

Schools now offer more than the three course disciplines: reading, writing, and arithmetic. But the foundation these subjects give students makes it easier for them to study history, science, art, music and communication. Breaking it down to these three will help parents guide their kids as they progress through school and focus on academics.

Read Wendy’s article Valuing Academics in 4 Stages.

giveaways, parenting, Uncategorized

NatureBox Care Package Giveaway

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It’s back to school time and your kids or college students will be snacking. Whether it’s at lunch, after class, or during study sessions you want them to eat healthy and not gorge on junk food. Nature Box has the perfect solution with their array of healthy snacks.nature box3

Giveaway

If you are looking for a healthy snacking alternative Nature Box has you covered and they have given me this sumptuous box of treats to give away to one of my lucky readers. If you are looking for a great care package for your college student, this is it! Or if you want to put some healthy snacks in your kid’s lunch, you can’t miss with the snacks included in this box!

nature boxWho is NatureBox and how can you benefit from their products?

Discover a Healthier You

NatureBox helps you eat healthier without needing to change your eating habits. We focus on snacks because that’s the easiest habit to change. Do you know that the average American eats almost 25% of their calories from snacking? In fact, snacking is the leading cause of childhood obesity. NatureBox helps you get more out of your day without wasting calories on the bad stuff.

natureboxFood You Can Trust

Every NatureBox item is carefully sourced and nutritionist approved. Everything inside your NatureBox will be guilt free so that you can feel great about what you’re eating. You can trust that our products will be made from the most wholesome ingredients and will be minimally processed, if at all.

It’s Risk Free!

Each box costs just $19.95 and shipping is always free with NatureBox. You can pause or cancel anytime, and we’ll happily issue a refund if you’re not 100% satisfied.

Together, We Give

NatureBox works with WhyHunger to solve the problems of hunger and poverty, while working to make more nutritious food available to everyone. Aside from making donations to WhyHunger, we also donate our healthy snacks directly to WhyHunger partners, including community-based organizations, emergency food providers and summer meal programs for low-income children.

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parenting, tech gadgets, Uncategorized

Are you spying on your teens?

 

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spying

Last Sunday I was listening to a radio talk show on IT and a mom called in with a horror story about her teenage son. She was asleep in bed one night while her son was staying with her ex-husband. About 1am her phone beeped and Skype opened. She saw a conversation between her son (who had apparently loaded Skype on her phone without her knowledge) and an adult male. When she chimed in and asked him who he was, he asked who she was and told her to butt out of the conversation. As she was calling the police, the man asked her son where he lived, how old he was and started initiating a face-to-face meeting. Needless to say, she was shocked. The radio host told her she should be “spying” on her son so this doesn’t happen again.

Keeping your teens safe

Spying on your teens may seem a bit harsh and our kids would certainly rebel if we used that word. But parents need to be aware that threats are real and just because you feel technologically challenged, that’s not an excuse to put your kids at risk. The good news is that help is out there. According to Stacy Ross on  The Online Mom:

I suggest that those of us who are Baby Boomers or Generation X-ers, who weren’t raised with a bottle in one hand and an iPad in the other, are learning the “language of the land online” so to speak, right alongside our offspring. That dynamic is a compelling one, worthy of its own bit of tender loving care.

We need time to foster a relationship with our kids that establishes a system of communication and guidelines for this world, which seems so natural to them but is still so novel to many of us old fogies! We are helping our kids navigate in a new online language and culture, while at the same time assuming roles as strong parental figures. As we do this, we are wise to bookmark resources and find mentors that can help. Entrusting kids with adult-like privileges such as e-mail accounts, smartphones, social media platforms, etc. is no small endeavor.

Most of us weren’t raised with a smartphone or an iPad but our kids and grandkids have been. The concept of pay phones, dial up internet and television with no more than three channels seems unfathomable to them.

An overwhelming task

As if parents don’t have enough responsibility already, we’re faced with policing our kids online activity. Call it spying. Call it being nosey. I prefer to call it smart parenting. And while we’re at it, what about limiting their time with these gadgets. I see kids watching iPhones while in their strollers, and families at restaurants not communicating with one another because every kid is either on an iPhone, texting, or watching a movie on an iPad. Teens are the worst–their whole lives are wrapped around their smartphones and other technology. The more time they are online, the more risk they will be targeted.

Where can you get help?

What’s the solution?

  • Stay informed on security issues and tools to monitor their tech usage. The Online Mom is a great resource for this.
  • Set limits and guidelines for time spent with these devices. Think this is hard? You bet it is. But if you’re feeling frustrated, Fern Weiss, a parent coaching expert, is conducting a FREE teleseminar to help: Teens and Screens.
  • Don’t ignore the issue. Tech gadgets aren’t going away and parents need to stay informed and be proactive.

Watch this video to see how important it is to pay attention to your teen’s online behavior.