Tag Archives: graduation

empty nest, graduation

From Acceptance to Graduation and Beyond

 

graduation

The acceptance letters have arrived and your student has made his final college decision. Check the box–going to college! It’s a tremendous accomplishment for both students and their parents. It’s not just your student who is graduating–you are too! You planned for years for your student to go to college and now he has been accepted. After years of planning it’s time to start a new chapter in your life as well.

First things first–do some celebrating. You’ve earned it. It was a difficult task to raise a successful high school graduate and soon-to-be college student. Allow yourself some time to bask in the accomplishment. This is also time to flood him with showers of praise and words of encouragement. He’s worked hard for this and he needs to hear that you are proud of him.

Once the celebration dust settles, to help you head into the next phase, we have some suggestions to assist with the transition.

Graduation Anxiety

Even though it’s a time of celebration, it is also a time of great anxiety; not only for the students who are anxious about their future, but for the parents as well. Students worry about being successful academically, moving away from the safety of home, and the difficult task of making new friends. Parents are riddled with questions and concerns, as any loving parent will be:

  • Have you done your job to prepare him for adulthood?
  • How will you occupy your time when he is away at college?
  • How will he survive without you?
  • How involved do you need to be when he’s in college?
  • How will you ever let go?

These questions and many more are going to be circling your mind over the next few months. However, it’s time for him to put into use the lessons you have taught him over the last 18 years–even if it means he will fail. Standing on the sidelines is difficult, but wipe away the tears and the fears and look ahead to an exciting era for both of you.

Bonding

Spend the next few months bonding with your college-bound teen: bonding, not smothering. Don’t expect him to want to be with you 24-7. He has friends he wants to spend time with as well, knowing he will be leaving them in the fall. Of course you want to spend time with him. After all, he’s leaving in a few months and you will miss him. But don’t cross the line and expect him to want what you want.

If you can’t camp out in his room or sit on the couch hugging him for hours, what can you do to facilitate the bonding? These suggestions might help:

  • Schedule a date night and do something fun together. Go to dinner and a movie. Play miniature golf. Attend a concert.
  • Take a family vacation together.
  • Go shopping for college and/or dorm supplies.
  • Visit the campus of the college he will be attending and take some side trips along the way.

Be creative and think of other ways you can forge time with him. It can even be something as simple as watching a television show with him or cooking together. Whatever you do, take advantage of every opportunity to bond. It will not only help you when he’s at college, it will provide him with memories to hold on to when (not if) he gets homesick at college.

Conversations

Before he leaves for college, you should have several conversations. Avoid lecturing; but discuss some issues he will be faced with at college. You may have discussed these before, but it’s time to reinforce them again:

  • Academics

Even though he’s an adult now (or so he thinks) you need to help him understand that you have certain expectations regarding academics. It’s going to require a commitment on his part to attend class, study, and turn in assignments when they are due. Discuss options for tutoring on campus and what to do if he begins to struggle.

  • Money

Budgeting in college for someone who has depended on parents for everything they need can be difficult. Sit down and help him make a budget and discuss what you will be providing as far as expenses and what you expect him to contribute. This will help minimize the phone calls panicking because he’s out of money.

  • Social activity

College provides multiple opportunities to socialize–some of it is good, some not so good. Talk about the drinking, drug and hooking up culture on campus which go hand-in-hand with college life. Discussing it ahead of time will help prepare him when he’s faced with decisions and also come up with a plan to have fun without harming himself or others.

  • Consequences

Make sure he understands the concept of consequences–to his actions, his choices, and his inaction. Remind him to think before he acts because most college decisions affect what happens in the future. For instance, a decision to skip class could result in a poor grade. Or a decision to drink and drive could not only put his life at risk, but if caught, a DUI could affect his ability to secure a job after graduation.

Packing

It’s a natural instinct for teens to want to take everything to college with them. Resist that urge. Dorm rooms are small. He will be sharing a space with another student who has brought things from home as well. As a general rule of thumb, here’s a short list of “do take and don’t take” items:

Do take

  • Hygiene items (including flip flops for shower)
  • Ear plugs (help with concentration and sleeping)
  • Tech items (plugs, power strips, laptop, desktop, usb drives, portable hard drive)
  • Maintenance items (duct tape, hammer, screwdriver, etc.)
  • Office supplies (stapler, paper, pens and pencils)
  • Storage containers (underbed storage works best)
  • Bedding (sheets, blanket, pillows and bed risers)
  • Headphones

Don’t take

  • Huge stereo and speakers
  • Every book and DVD you own
  • Candles
  • High school memorabilia
  • An overabundance of personal items-i.e your entire stuffed animal collection

Talk with the roommate about what he is bringing and try not to duplicate. Decide who is bringing the television, the microwave and the mini-fridge–staples in any dorm room. As your and your teen are making a list of items, remember that less is more in a college dorm room.

Orientation

Most colleges have instituted parent orientation to go along with the traditional student orientation. Parent orientation can provide parents with information about student life, guidance about dealing with college-related issues, and help dealing with separation anxiety. Additionally, you will be able to participate in workshops, take a campus tour and listen to speeches about common parent issues conducted by faculty and staff.

The BostonGlobe reports that most parents found the events to be more than worthwhile:

Colleges around the country are holding orientations for families of incoming freshmen. But these are not simple “Meet the Dean” receptions held the day before school starts. These are elaborate two- and three-day events, often held on midsummer weekdays. “What I’ve heard across the country from parents is that these events are marked on their calendar with a big red heart,” said Natalie Caine, who counsels parents through her business, Empty Nest Support Services in Los Angeles.They say, ‘I need to go. I need to see what it’s like. I want to hear what they have to offer, what the security system is like, who’s the contact person if there’s a problem.’

Use the next few months to prepare yourself and your teen for the upcoming college move-in day. If you’re well-prepared, it will be easier for both you and your student. In the meantime, enjoy your summer and use every opportunity to make some memories!

careers, gap year, graduation

Exploring the Options After Graduation

 

graduation

As exciting as college is for high school graduates, it’s terrifying for parents – especially when your child is the one who wants to dash across the country to another school.

For some, college is a chance to spread their wings as far and as wide as they can go. The chance to live in another state and meet entirely new people is exciting and can be life-changing, especially if you’re already from a small town. But, what if your teen isn’t sure what they want to do post-high school graduation? What if they have no idea the options available to them? What if going away to college is too daunting, too much to handle? This is the job for parents. You need to all sit down together and talk about the options ahead of them after high school and how those options can affect their choices in later life. College is an important stepping stone into an ideal career and if you harness their creativity and passion when they’re young, they’ll thank you for it later. So, what options are on the table for your teenager?

College.

Okay, so obviously the first option out of high school is going to be college. Whether that’s studying in college thousands of miles away, or doing an online MBA program at home instead, college is the first and most preferable option. Finding work without a degree can be difficult and if your teenager has specific ideas of what they want from their future, it makes sense to walk them through college application time. They don’t have to go to the opposite end of the country when there are local community colleges and the option to study online at home.

Work.

Working right out of high school is an option that some take over going directly into college with their friends. This option may be a temporary one, but they could also secure a position at the bottom of a company doing an internship with the promise of progression through the ranks. It’s not a bad option to think about, especially if your teen needs a break from studying to earn money toward tuition.

Travel.

A gap year between high school and college that is filled with places to see and things to do is a popular option among students. Some kids work their way through high school, saving every penny they make so that they can have an adventure around the world and gain some cultural experiences before they settle into their studies.

Whichever way your high-school graduate chooses to go, as a parent you must support their exploration of all the options and while you can help and guide, the decision cannot be yours. College is a time for growth, and not just for the kids.

graduation, Guest Posts

Getting Ready for College? Here’s a Checklist to Close Out Senior Year

 

The team at Diploma Frames have kindly shared their insights into how best to prepare for College, enjoy!

senior year

If you’re close to finishing your senior year, all sorts of questions will be running through your mind right now. One might be: ‘have I really made the most of my last year?’, while another could be: ‘have I put the right steps in place to be successful at college?’

Whatever your concerns, we have them wrapped up here in our blog. It’s important you enjoy your senior year and all the exciting times it might bring with it, but it’s also a time of realization: realization that you’re no longer a child and you must therefore step tentatively into adulthood. Are you ready for it? With our checklist, you will be…

Put Plans in Place

So you’ve planned what to wear on your graduation day, but have you thought even further ahead? What could you be doing now, for example, that will help you when college finishes and it’s time to get a job? Put some steps in place now; seek out a good mentor and discover what it takes to get your foot in the door regarding an exciting new internship. Alternatively, speak to the people who are doing the job you want. That way, you’ll have a clear plan of action in mind when college finishes and real life begins.

Order Your Essential Graduation Kit 

Graduation day takes a lot of planning, too; don’t leave it to the last minute. Have you ordered your cap and gown? And what about thank you cards and other essentials for the day? Maybe you’re thinking of throwing a post-graduation party? Get organized and buy everything you need now – you’ll give yourself a pat on the back later. Graduation’s one of the biggest days of your life, so allow for a little sentimentality to seep into the day itself. Have you thought about a fun way you can preserve your memories of the event, for example? Diploma frames are a great idea and can be cherished forever.

Don’t Forget Thank-Yous

Alongside ordering your cap and gown, have you considered what you might need later down the line? It might be a nice idea to thank tutors and course mentors or those who wrote recommendations with a nice card or gesture for their help getting you through the course. At the very least you’ll be ensuring they have a good day (everyone enjoys a little bit of praise), but who knows how it may help in the long-run; they may be able to connect you with a future employer, for example.

Work On Your Resume

You may already have put hours into perfecting your high school resume, but be aware that it’ll need tweaking when you apply for a new job or internship. A list of academics and accomplishments aren’t standard content on an employment resume. Instead, look at the job description carefully and consider what your prospective employer is looking for and tweak your resume to meet the requirements.

Clean Up Your Social Media Profiles

Did you know that most employers check candidates’ social media profiles before – or maybe even after – the interview process? One of the best things you can do before you close out your senior year, then, is take a good look through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Google+ and remove anything that’s not going to give the right impression to any company you hope to work for or apply for an internship. If you don’t want to do that, make your profile private – and keep it that way. It’s surprising how what you deemed were fairly harmless photos or status updates can actually hinder you in your job search. 

Do you have any tips of your own for ensuring your senior year is successful?

mom approved tips, parenting

Mom-Approved Tips: Graduation Anxiety

 

graduationMay means graduation. You may be thinking about gifts for graduates. But there is so much more to think about. Your student will be graduating—but you are too. You’re graduating from years of college prep. For most parents it starts early—thinking and planning for their college education. When they are born, you think you have all the time in the world. This month, that time has flown by and you can’t believe they will be leaving soon for college. And the anxiety over losing your baby begins.

Have you done enough to prepare them for adulthood?

We all ask that question. And even when they are grown, it’s going to whirl through our minds from time to time. Parenthood has its challenges and throughout the 18 years or more that they are with us, we’re bound to struggle and wonder if we did everything we could do to teach them independence, consequences, and moral values. You may not feel like you did, but kids are like sponges. They soak up everything they see. They hear everything they say. And they will use it when you least expect it.

What will you do with yourself?

After years of shuffling them to school, sports, working on homework, and most recently spending every waking moment on college prep, what will you do with all this free time? If this is your only child, you’re going to feel lost. If it’s not, the other kids will absorb your time—don’t ask me how but it happens. If this is your last one and you’re facing an empty nest, be prepared to grieve. It’s going to happen; embrace it. Then, as with all grief, it will pass and it’s time for you to readjust your priorities. It’s time to ask yourself this question: What do “I” want? For 18 years or more it’s been all about them; now it’s time for it to be all about you!

How will they survive without you?

How will they remember to do their homework, wash their hands, clean their rooms, and get up in time for class? What will they eat and when will they eat? Will they get enough rest and concentrate on their health? Will they make friends easily? Will they succumb to peer pressure?

You’ve been their lifejacket for the last 18 years. It’s time for them to swim, and possibly sink, on their own. Trust that you have taught them well and if they do start to struggle or fail, they will work it out as all adults must do. It’s scary standing on the sidelines but it’s time to remind yourself that they will be fine without you.

Isn’t that our goal from the day they are born? We just didn’t think it would come so soon. Wipe the tears, celebrate their achievement, and look ahead to the future. It’s going to be an exciting era—for both you and your kids.

parenting, Uncategorized

How to make high school graduation special

 

If you have a high school senior, the offers of admission have finally started rolling in. March is almost over, April is just around the corner and before you know it you will be watching your college-bound teen walk across the stage at their high school graduation ceremony. Next step college–but first it’s time to celebrate and recognize their accomplishments.

Here are just a few suggestions to plan for the once-in-a-lifetime milestone and celebration. After all, you only graduate from high school once!

Brag (just a little)

This is the time when every parent can brag about their teenager. They have worked hard, applied to college, made the decision on which college to attend, and are on the road to independent adulthood. When they hear you bragging about them, they make act embarrassed on the outside, but they will smile on the inside that they have made you proud of them.

Plan a celebration

Make early preparations. Whether you have a family gathering, a party with their friends, or a small dinner with your immediate family, make it special. Take the time to pick out a unique present (perhaps some type of jewelry for your daughter, or a nice watch for you son). They will always treasure the gift and it will remind them of their accomplishment. Celebrating this time in their life with you creates a lasting memory and encourages them to continue pursuing goals.

Create your own congratulatory banner at Signazon.com
Create your own congratulatory banner at Signazon.com

Watch them beam with pride

Take out senior ads, order graduation banners from Signazon.com, and order graduation announcements to share with family and friends. Attend  banquets, recognition ceremonies and award presentations with them. When your teen sees how proud you are of their accomplishment they will move forward toward college with confidence and pride.

 

Uncategorized

Graduation Parties (on a budget)


In the spirit of “graduation season”, our guest post this week by Nicole Frie for The Real College Guide, gives some great ideas on how to plan a graduation party on a budget (high school included!)

Think you need a ton of money to host a decent graduation party? Not necessarily. Here, we give you awesome — and inexpensive! — ideas for having the best graduation party on a budget … so start planning, party monster!

Free Graduation Party Invitations
Give a shout-out! Since you’re looking to save money, consider creating an Evite invitation or Facebook event page to spread the news of your graduation party. This is much cheaper (as in, it’s free!) and less time-consuming than paper invites. Plus, it shows a little bit o’ love to Mama Earth.

Best Graduation Party Venue
In his song “The Best of What’s Around,” Dave Matthews sings, “Turns out not where but who you’re with that really matters. …”

  • There’s no place like home. According to Laura Schroyer, sales rep at Lasting Impressions Event Rentals in Columbus, Ohio, the majority of graduation parties the company services are held at the graduate’s house. Opening up your home can seem daunting, but it’s better than forking out beaucoup bucks to the country club.
  • Consider the city. Contact your local city or county recreation department and ask if they offer any places for hosting get-togethers. Many have parks, pavilions or halls available to reserve free of charge or rent for a reasonable fee. These locations often include amenities, such as use of kitchens or outdoor grills, existing tables and seating, and various sports courts.

Bonus money-saving tip: Before renting tables and chairs from a rental company, Jason Rickey, University of Dayton junior and co-owner of Omar’s Party Tents, recommends asking a local church if you can borrow some in exchange for a small donation.

Best Graduation Party Decorations
Schroyer says decorating with school colors is a popular grad party trend: “They use a lot of colors from that college or different items associated with their college.”

  • Hit up discount chains and dollar stores. You’ll find inexpensive decor, like streamers and balloons, as well as color-coordinated paper plates, napkins and plastic utensils. Schroyer mentions that a simple way to make the decor pop is to use tablecloths in complementing colors.
  • Enlist the help of friends. Have any artistic kids in your crew? Pick up some poster board and paints, and have them create one-of-a-kind wall hangings. Your roomie has a knack for interesting dorm decorating on the cheap? Put her in charge of coming up with unique centerpieces.

Best Graduation Party Food
“Food is the main reason I go to graduation parties,” jokes Ohio State University sophomore Alex Huegle. Forget the caterer and go with some of these less pricey menu suggestions:

  • Cookout fare Tossing burgers and dogs on the grill is an efficient way to keep the food coming. And it’s not a cop-out to ask each guest to bring a side dish to share. Just make sure you know who’s bringing what so you have a variety and don’t end up trying to unload five buckets of potato salad.
  • Ethnic dishes Did you study abroad? Recreate dishes you enjoyed during your trek. If you traveled through Spain, serve gazpacho and paella (substitute expensive shellfish with just-as-delicious chorizo sausage and chicken — or even beans for a vegetarian option).
  • Dippity do’s Put out an assortment of dips, like artichoke, nacho or hummus, for guests to munch on. Be sure to provide chips, pretzels and cut-up veggies for dipping. This is the best way to go if you have limited seating, since guests can easily consume these foods while standing.

Also, don’t space on the drinks. Fill coolers (or a baby pool) with plenty of ice and bottled water or soft drinks.

And finally, no grad party is complete without a cake. If you’re feeling creative and want to forgo ordering the traditional sheet cake, be your own “cake boss”: Buy fondant and colored icings online or at craft stores. Or whip up cupcakes!

Best Graduation Party Entertainment
No need to hire a DJ to keep grad party guests entertained …

  • Turn up the tunes. Personalize your playlist by projecting your iTunes from computer speakers or your iPod from an iHome. Or try Web sites like Pandora.com or Grooveshark.com to personalize live streaming playlists. If you’re really going for the “wow” factor, ask your musician friends to perform as a graduation gift to you.
  • Play some games. To break the monotony of mingling, offer games for your graduation party guests. Set up a volleyball net, use your basketball hoop for some one on one or dust off the cornhole boards.
  • Create a slideshow. To save money on printing photos, scan old ones to your computer and combine with photos you already have. Make your slideshow using such software as PowerPoint or Movie Maker (look for free downloads), then connect your computer to a projector and let the good times roll!

Talk It up! Ever been to a particularly awesome graduation party? Share the highlights below!

college guidance, college planning

Do all college students follow the 4-year plan?

 

college students

A recent article in the Boston Globe brought this subject to mind.The author of the article brought to light that the path to college is not always completed in 4 years. Many students end up dropping out, transferring, postponing and even re-evaluating their career paths. The statistics are a bit staggering, but I’d have to say not that surprising. He pointed out that the 4-year college plan is NOT the norm.

There are times when college is NOT the right path for your child after graduation. I’ve had personal experience with this and have watched many kids crash and burn because they weren’t ready. Preparing your teen for college is important, but it’s also important to know when they are ready and to be prepared for the unexpected. That’s the hard part of parenting: recognizing the signs and helping them to make the right decision when the signs are there.

Here are two cases in point: both from personal experience.

Case 1

My brother entered college after graduating from high school because it was the thing to do. He thought he wanted to study geology. But once he entered he struggled. He didn’t possess the best study habits nor did he have the academic focus or the drive at the time to be successful. After a few semesters, he dropped out and went to work full time. During the next few years, he found his passion. He reentered college, graduated, attended seminary, graduated, and pursued his doctorate in theology. It wasn’t that college wasn’t for him. It was just that he wasn’t ready until he found his passion. Once he did, it was clear that he had the academic drive and commitment to graduate.

Case 2

My son graduated from high school and entered the military. It was clear that college was NOT for him and that the military was where he needed to be. After serving for 4 years, he went straight to college. He was not ready. He crashed and burned after just one semester and went to work at a full time job. After another year, he enrolled in a community college, retaking all the courses he had previously failed. He managed to receive a 4.0 and entered a 4 year university, graduating magna cum laude with a degree in Asian History. Once he was ready, his academic path was stellar.

You, better than anyone, know your teen. My daughter was ready and excelled, graduating in 4 years and attending graduate school and graduating in 18 months. While she and my son took different paths, they both graduated. It’s important not to discourage your child if their academic path has detours and they don’t follow the 4-year plan. Because according to statistics, it’s not the norm.