May means graduation. You may be thinking about gifts for graduates. But there is so much more to think about. Your student will be graduating—but you are too. You’re graduating from years of college prep. For most parents it starts early—thinking and planning for their college education. When they are born, you think you have all the time in the world. This month, that time has flown by and you can’t believe they will be leaving soon for college. And the anxiety over losing your baby begins.
Have you done enough to prepare them for adulthood?
We all ask that question. And even when they are grown, it’s going to whirl through our minds from time to time. Parenthood has its challenges and throughout the 18 years or more that they are with us, we’re bound to struggle and wonder if we did everything we could do to teach them independence, consequences, and moral values. You may not feel like you did, but kids are like sponges. They soak up everything they see. They hear everything they say. And they will use it when you least expect it.
What will you do with yourself?
After years of shuffling them to school, sports, working on homework, and most recently spending every waking moment on college prep, what will you do with all this free time? If this is your only child, you’re going to feel lost. If it’s not, the other kids will absorb your time—don’t ask me how but it happens. If this is your last one and you’re facing an empty nest, be prepared to grieve. It’s going to happen; embrace it. Then, as with all grief, it will pass and it’s time for you to readjust your priorities. It’s time to ask yourself this question: What do “I” want? For 18 years or more it’s been all about them; now it’s time for it to be all about you!
How will they survive without you?
How will they remember to do their homework, wash their hands, clean their rooms, and get up in time for class? What will they eat and when will they eat? Will they get enough rest and concentrate on their health? Will they make friends easily? Will they succumb to peer pressure?
You’ve been their lifejacket for the last 18 years. It’s time for them to swim, and possibly sink, on their own. Trust that you have taught them well and if they do start to struggle or fail, they will work it out as all adults must do. It’s scary standing on the sidelines but it’s time to remind yourself that they will be fine without you.
Isn’t that our goal from the day they are born? We just didn’t think it would come so soon. Wipe the tears, celebrate their achievement, and look ahead to the future. It’s going to be an exciting era—for both you and your kids.