High school graduation is approaching for seniors; and some tearful goodbyes may be approaching for their parents. Your emotions will transition from pride for their accomplishments to dread and sadness as they move on to the next phase of their lives.
Letting go is never easy. But if you’ve done your job, your student is ready to move to the next phase of their life, which means living independently.
Continue reading High School Graduation: Letting Go Without Holding On
The acceptance letters have arrived and your student is ready to make his final college decision and then move forward to graduation. Check the box–going to college! It’s a tremendous accomplishment for both students and their parents.
It’s not just your student who is graduating–you are too! You planned for years for your student to go to college and now he has been accepted. After years of planning it’s time to start a new chapter in your life as well.
First things first–do some celebrating. You’ve earned it. It was a difficult task to raise a successful high school graduate and soon-to-be college student. Allow yourself some time to bask in the accomplishment. This is also time to flood him with showers of praise and words of encouragement. He’s worked hard for this and he needs to hear that you are proud of him.
Once the celebration dust settles, to help you head into the next phase, we have some suggestions to assist with the transition.
Continue reading From Acceptance to Graduation and Beyond
Whether your child is leaving for college soon or they are coming towards the end of their studies, ensuring you support your child in the right way, not just in a professional sense but in an emotional sense as well, can prove to be a wide-ranging subject. Ultimately, there is a massive transition from college to the real world. For anybody that has been through college education and has now come out on the other side, they may tell you just how much of a shock to the system it is to go into the real world. So what can you do to make sure that you support your child in the right way when they are transitioning toward independence after graduation?
Many people decide to move on to a master’s course after their degree. For some, this can be prolonging the eventuality of going into the real world. But it all depends on the degree that your child initially undertook. If they’ve got a very clear-cut career plan but they need to acquire a master’s in system design & management or a niche subject, it’s vital that they work towards this. The best thing you can do if your child is adamant about completing extra qualifications is to make sure that they’ve researched their career choice at every angle.
Some parents feel that their child needs to get any job after they come out of college, but this can be a huge mistake. If your child is not continuing their education, you should encourage them to explore a wide variety of opportunities. Many people these days decide to accept a job for the sake of it, but this means that they could very well get stuck in a professional rut. And even if you, as the parent, have been in the same position before, it’s essential to encourage them to diversify their efforts. Encourage them to make strategic decisions from the outset. This could mean undertaking career questionnaires or helping them to realize what skills they have right now that lend to a specific profession.
They are your child, and you want the best for them, but you have to remember that you can’t force them to do something. If you feel the need to go down a particular direction, they will likely do the opposite. Think about your emotions and keep them in check. Manage their moods rather than trying to force them down a specific path. After college, your child can feel somewhat empty in-between that chasm of finishing their education to starting a career. There will naturally be bumps in the roads, and they may feel the pressure to get on to the “right” career right away. The best thing that you can do is to take a step back and also realize where you are helicopter parenting.
Even if you went straight into work, you have to remember just how much a shock to the system it can be going from years of education to the real world. They worked hard at getting their qualification, and now they want to make sure that it counts. The best thing you can do for them at this point is to be supportive of their decisions.
High school graduation is upon you and you and your student are looking forward toward college and a very busy summer. Amidst all the parties and preparation, it’s crucial that you spend some time dispensing “parental” advice in a way they will listen and take it to heart.
Don’t sit them down for “the talk” because they will simply tune you out. Take advantage of snippets of time to cover these important topics either for the first time or as a refresher before college.
College friends have a great impact on a student’s academic success, social life while in college and create a feeling of home away from home. Impress upon them that their friends will influence them in positive and even negative ways, just as they did in high school; but with one difference–you won’t be there to meet them and give advice.
College is much more difficult than high school. The reading is extensive, the homework can be overwhelming, and the study requirements can be brutal. If your student doesn’t make study a priority, their first semester of college could be their last.
It’s true when they say colleges are institutions of higher learning. But your student must attend class, pay attention, be motivated to study, and do the work. The knowledge won’t just soak in, your student will have to do their part. Don’t miss out on free lectures and career training opportunities.
Your student’s friends (and boyfriend or girlfriend) back home will often bring them down. During periods of homesickness, that pull to return home from the friends who stayed can be strong. Remind your student that college will be a new chapter in their life and looking ahead will keep them focused on what’s important.
Four years will pass quickly. Your student needs to take advantage of every opportunity to plan for days after graduation. They should participate in internships, make connections with alumni, develop relationships with professors, and visit the career center often. Most students don’t even start thinking about jobs after graduation until senior year. When graduation day arrives, you student won’t be caught unprepared.
When your student recognizes a problem (and they will). address it. Much of the angst your student might experience with roommates could have been avoided if your student simply has a conversation. For the worst problems, go to the RA for mediation.
Every college is a party school. Unfortunately, even though your student will be underage, they will be offered alcohol. The reality is there will always be drinking on campus. Excessive drinking can cause all sorts of regrettable behavior that result in negative consequences. It’s unwise for you to assume that your student won’t drink because even the strongest student will be tempted and most likely succumb. For girls, this conversation is critical since drinking often results in unwanted sexual experiences because they are less likely to be in control of their emotions.
Your student’s professors are key players in their college success. Encourage them to establish relationships and cultivate them. They might need them for tutoring help, and will definitely need them for job connections after graduation.
The memories my daughter made in college are some of her most treasured memories. Her sorority sisters, her study abroad experiences, her trips with friends, and some of her most admired professors and mentors live in those memories. College is what you make of it and your student should enjoy and experience every moment.
The acceptance letters have arrived and your student has made his final college decision. Check the box–going to college! It’s a tremendous accomplishment for both students and their parents. It’s not just your student who is graduating–you are too! You planned for years for your student to go to college and now he has been accepted. After years of planning it’s time to start a new chapter in your life as well.
First things first–do some celebrating. You’ve earned it. It was a difficult task to raise a successful high school graduate and soon-to-be college student. Allow yourself some time to bask in the accomplishment. This is also time to flood him with showers of praise and words of encouragement. He’s worked hard for this and he needs to hear that you are proud of him.
Once the celebration dust settles, to help you head into the next phase, we have some suggestions to assist with the transition.
Even though it’s a time of celebration, it is also a time of great anxiety; not only for the students who are anxious about their future, but for the parents as well. Students worry about being successful academically, moving away from the safety of home, and the difficult task of making new friends. Parents are riddled with questions and concerns, as any loving parent will be:
These questions and many more are going to be circling your mind over the next few months. However, it’s time for him to put into use the lessons you have taught him over the last 18 years–even if it means he will fail. Standing on the sidelines is difficult, but wipe away the tears and the fears and look ahead to an exciting era for both of you.
Spend the next few months bonding with your college-bound teen: bonding, not smothering. Don’t expect him to want to be with you 24-7. He has friends he wants to spend time with as well, knowing he will be leaving them in the fall. Of course you want to spend time with him. After all, he’s leaving in a few months and you will miss him. But don’t cross the line and expect him to want what you want.
If you can’t camp out in his room or sit on the couch hugging him for hours, what can you do to facilitate the bonding? These suggestions might help:
Be creative and think of other ways you can forge time with him. It can even be something as simple as watching a television show with him or cooking together. Whatever you do, take advantage of every opportunity to bond. It will not only help you when he’s at college, it will provide him with memories to hold on to when (not if) he gets homesick at college.
Before he leaves for college, you should have several conversations. Avoid lecturing; but discuss some issues he will be faced with at college. You may have discussed these before, but it’s time to reinforce them again:
Even though he’s an adult now (or so he thinks) you need to help him understand that you have certain expectations regarding academics. It’s going to require a commitment on his part to attend class, study, and turn in assignments when they are due. Discuss options for tutoring on campus and what to do if he begins to struggle.
Budgeting in college for someone who has depended on parents for everything they need can be difficult. Sit down and help him make a budget and discuss what you will be providing as far as expenses and what you expect him to contribute. This will help minimize the phone calls panicking because he’s out of money.
College provides multiple opportunities to socialize–some of it is good, some not so good. Talk about the drinking, drug and hooking up culture on campus which go hand-in-hand with college life. Discussing it ahead of time will help prepare him when he’s faced with decisions and also come up with a plan to have fun without harming himself or others.
Make sure he understands the concept of consequences–to his actions, his choices, and his inaction. Remind him to think before he acts because most college decisions affect what happens in the future. For instance, a decision to skip class could result in a poor grade. Or a decision to drink and drive could not only put his life at risk, but if caught, a DUI could affect his ability to secure a job after graduation.
It’s a natural instinct for teens to want to take everything to college with them. Resist that urge. Dorm rooms are small. He will be sharing a space with another student who has brought things from home as well. As a general rule of thumb, here’s a short list of “do take and don’t take” items:
Do take
Don’t take
Talk with the roommate about what he is bringing and try not to duplicate. Decide who is bringing the television, the microwave and the mini-fridge–staples in any dorm room. As your and your teen are making a list of items, remember that less is more in a college dorm room.
Most colleges have instituted parent orientation to go along with the traditional student orientation. Parent orientation can provide parents with information about student life, guidance about dealing with college-related issues, and help dealing with separation anxiety. Additionally, you will be able to participate in workshops, take a campus tour and listen to speeches about common parent issues conducted by faculty and staff.
The BostonGlobe reports that most parents found the events to be more than worthwhile:
Colleges around the country are holding orientations for families of incoming freshmen. But these are not simple “Meet the Dean” receptions held the day before school starts. These are elaborate two- and three-day events, often held on midsummer weekdays. “What I’ve heard across the country from parents is that these events are marked on their calendar with a big red heart,” said Natalie Caine, who counsels parents through her business, Empty Nest Support Services in Los Angeles.They say, ‘I need to go. I need to see what it’s like. I want to hear what they have to offer, what the security system is like, who’s the contact person if there’s a problem.’
Use the next few months to prepare yourself and your teen for the upcoming college move-in day. If you’re well-prepared, it will be easier for both you and your student. In the meantime, enjoy your summer and use every opportunity to make some memories!
As exciting as college is for high school graduates, it’s terrifying for parents – especially when your child is the one who wants to dash across the country to another school.
For some, college is a chance to spread their wings as far and as wide as they can go. The chance to live in another state and meet entirely new people is exciting and can be life-changing, especially if you’re already from a small town. But, what if your teen isn’t sure what they want to do post-high school graduation? What if they have no idea the options available to them? What if going away to college is too daunting, too much to handle? This is the job for parents. You need to all sit down together and talk about the options ahead of them after high school and how those options can affect their choices in later life. College is an important stepping stone into an ideal career and if you harness their creativity and passion when they’re young, they’ll thank you for it later. So, what options are on the table for your teenager?
Okay, so obviously the first option out of high school is going to be college. Whether that’s studying in college thousands of miles away, or doing an online MBA program at home instead, college is the first and most preferable option. Finding work without a degree can be difficult and if your teenager has specific ideas of what they want from their future, it makes sense to walk them through college application time. They don’t have to go to the opposite end of the country when there are local community colleges and the option to study online at home.
Working right out of high school is an option that some take over going directly into college with their friends. This option may be a temporary one, but they could also secure a position at the bottom of a company doing an internship with the promise of progression through the ranks. It’s not a bad option to think about, especially if your teen needs a break from studying to earn money toward tuition.
A gap year between high school and college that is filled with places to see and things to do is a popular option among students. Some kids work their way through high school, saving every penny they make so that they can have an adventure around the world and gain some cultural experiences before they settle into their studies.
Whichever way your high-school graduate chooses to go, as a parent you must support their exploration of all the options and while you can help and guide, the decision cannot be yours. College is a time for growth, and not just for the kids.
The team at Diploma Frames have kindly shared their insights into how best to prepare for College, enjoy!
If you’re close to finishing your senior year, all sorts of questions will be running through your mind right now. One might be: ‘have I really made the most of my last year?’, while another could be: ‘have I put the right steps in place to be successful at college?’
Whatever your concerns, we have them wrapped up here in our blog. It’s important you enjoy your senior year and all the exciting times it might bring with it, but it’s also a time of realization: realization that you’re no longer a child and you must therefore step tentatively into adulthood. Are you ready for it? With our checklist, you will be…
So you’ve planned what to wear on your graduation day, but have you thought even further ahead? What could you be doing now, for example, that will help you when college finishes and it’s time to get a job? Put some steps in place now; seek out a good mentor and discover what it takes to get your foot in the door regarding an exciting new internship. Alternatively, speak to the people who are doing the job you want. That way, you’ll have a clear plan of action in mind when college finishes and real life begins.
Graduation day takes a lot of planning, too; don’t leave it to the last minute. Have you ordered your cap and gown? And what about thank you cards and other essentials for the day? Maybe you’re thinking of throwing a post-graduation party? Get organized and buy everything you need now – you’ll give yourself a pat on the back later. Graduation’s one of the biggest days of your life, so allow for a little sentimentality to seep into the day itself. Have you thought about a fun way you can preserve your memories of the event, for example? Diploma frames are a great idea and can be cherished forever.
Alongside ordering your cap and gown, have you considered what you might need later down the line? It might be a nice idea to thank tutors and course mentors or those who wrote recommendations with a nice card or gesture for their help getting you through the course. At the very least you’ll be ensuring they have a good day (everyone enjoys a little bit of praise), but who knows how it may help in the long-run; they may be able to connect you with a future employer, for example.
You may already have put hours into perfecting your high school resume, but be aware that it’ll need tweaking when you apply for a new job or internship. A list of academics and accomplishments aren’t standard content on an employment resume. Instead, look at the job description carefully and consider what your prospective employer is looking for and tweak your resume to meet the requirements.
Did you know that most employers check candidates’ social media profiles before – or maybe even after – the interview process? One of the best things you can do before you close out your senior year, then, is take a good look through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Google+ and remove anything that’s not going to give the right impression to any company you hope to work for or apply for an internship. If you don’t want to do that, make your profile private – and keep it that way. It’s surprising how what you deemed were fairly harmless photos or status updates can actually hinder you in your job search.
Do you have any tips of your own for ensuring your senior year is successful?
May means graduation. You may be thinking about gifts for graduates. But there is so much more to think about. Your student will be graduating—but you are too. You’re graduating from years of college prep. For most parents it starts early—thinking and planning for their college education. When they are born, you think you have all the time in the world. This month, that time has flown by and you can’t believe they will be leaving soon for college. And the anxiety over losing your baby begins.
We all ask that question. And even when they are grown, it’s going to whirl through our minds from time to time. Parenthood has its challenges and throughout the 18 years or more that they are with us, we’re bound to struggle and wonder if we did everything we could do to teach them independence, consequences, and moral values. You may not feel like you did, but kids are like sponges. They soak up everything they see. They hear everything they say. And they will use it when you least expect it.
After years of shuffling them to school, sports, working on homework, and most recently spending every waking moment on college prep, what will you do with all this free time? If this is your only child, you’re going to feel lost. If it’s not, the other kids will absorb your time—don’t ask me how but it happens. If this is your last one and you’re facing an empty nest, be prepared to grieve. It’s going to happen; embrace it. Then, as with all grief, it will pass and it’s time for you to readjust your priorities. It’s time to ask yourself this question: What do “I” want? For 18 years or more it’s been all about them; now it’s time for it to be all about you!
How will they remember to do their homework, wash their hands, clean their rooms, and get up in time for class? What will they eat and when will they eat? Will they get enough rest and concentrate on their health? Will they make friends easily? Will they succumb to peer pressure?
You’ve been their lifejacket for the last 18 years. It’s time for them to swim, and possibly sink, on their own. Trust that you have taught them well and if they do start to struggle or fail, they will work it out as all adults must do. It’s scary standing on the sidelines but it’s time to remind yourself that they will be fine without you.
Isn’t that our goal from the day they are born? We just didn’t think it would come so soon. Wipe the tears, celebrate their achievement, and look ahead to the future. It’s going to be an exciting era—for both you and your kids.
If you have a high school senior, the offers of admission have finally started rolling in. March is almost over, April is just around the corner and before you know it you will be watching your college-bound teen walk across the stage at their high school graduation ceremony. Next step college–but first it’s time to celebrate and recognize their accomplishments.
Here are just a few suggestions to plan for the once-in-a-lifetime milestone and celebration. After all, you only graduate from high school once!
This is the time when every parent can brag about their teenager. They have worked hard, applied to college, made the decision on which college to attend, and are on the road to independent adulthood. When they hear you bragging about them, they make act embarrassed on the outside, but they will smile on the inside that they have made you proud of them.
Make early preparations. Whether you have a family gathering, a party with their friends, or a small dinner with your immediate family, make it special. Take the time to pick out a unique present (perhaps some type of jewelry for your daughter, or a nice watch for you son). They will always treasure the gift and it will remind them of their accomplishment. Celebrating this time in their life with you creates a lasting memory and encourages them to continue pursuing goals.
Take out senior ads, order graduation banners from Signazon.com, and order graduation announcements to share with family and friends. Attend banquets, recognition ceremonies and award presentations with them. When your teen sees how proud you are of their accomplishment they will move forward toward college with confidence and pride.
In the spirit of “graduation season”, our guest post this week by Nicole Frie for The Real College Guide, gives some great ideas on how to plan a graduation party on a budget (high school included!)
Think you need a ton of money to host a decent graduation party? Not necessarily. Here, we give you awesome — and inexpensive! — ideas for having the best graduation party on a budget … so start planning, party monster!
Free Graduation Party Invitations
Give a shout-out! Since you’re looking to save money, consider creating an Evite invitation or Facebook event page to spread the news of your graduation party. This is much cheaper (as in, it’s free!) and less time-consuming than paper invites. Plus, it shows a little bit o’ love to Mama Earth.
Best Graduation Party Venue
In his song “The Best of What’s Around,” Dave Matthews sings, “Turns out not where but who you’re with that really matters. …”
Bonus money-saving tip: Before renting tables and chairs from a rental company, Jason Rickey, University of Dayton junior and co-owner of Omar’s Party Tents, recommends asking a local church if you can borrow some in exchange for a small donation.
Best Graduation Party Decorations
Schroyer says decorating with school colors is a popular grad party trend: “They use a lot of colors from that college or different items associated with their college.”
Best Graduation Party Food
“Food is the main reason I go to graduation parties,” jokes Ohio State University sophomore Alex Huegle. Forget the caterer and go with some of these less pricey menu suggestions:
Also, don’t space on the drinks. Fill coolers (or a baby pool) with plenty of ice and bottled water or soft drinks.
And finally, no grad party is complete without a cake. If you’re feeling creative and want to forgo ordering the traditional sheet cake, be your own “cake boss”: Buy fondant and colored icings online or at craft stores. Or whip up cupcakes!
Best Graduation Party Entertainment
No need to hire a DJ to keep grad party guests entertained …
Talk It up! Ever been to a particularly awesome graduation party? Share the highlights below!