Wednesday’s Parent: Mother’s Day, Smother Day

May 7, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer

Sunday is Mother’s Day and it’s time for those of us who have sacrificed, loved, cared for and smothered our kids to be honored. Yes. I said smothered. Some mothers have mastered this technique so well that their kids don’t have a clue how to deal with failure, disappointment, and pain.

Do you relate to this type of mother? My daughter does. She says it’s going to be her—right down to making sure her kids are the center of her universe and vice versa. We laugh about it, but her boys might not think it’s so funny.

So in an effort to help all those teens (and mothers) from celebrating another smother day, I’ve compiled my list of tell-tale smothering signs.

You might be a smotherer if . . .

You incessantly text your teen during school to ask about __________ (you fill in the blank).
You go on the college visit with them and ask questions about campus security on the walking tour.
You send ________ (fill in the blank) to admissions officers to butter them up; and call to ask if they received them.
You show up at school unannounced with __________________ (fill in the blank), embarrassing them in front of their peers.
You call the coach because your teen didn’t make the team.
You spend the night in his dorm room for the first week of school.
You move close to campus so that you can be available.
You drive hundreds of miles to college to deliver _________________ (fill in the blank) because she called and said she “had to have it”.
You fill out their college application for them (because they can’t possibly do it on their own).
You call the mother of the son who broke up with your daughter to ask why he did it.

Are these extreme? For some, yes. But all of these are true stories, based on talking with parents and admissions counselors. Is it hard to believe? Probably not in today’s world of over parenting. If you see yourself in any of these scenarios it might be time to join our support group of smotherers: Hi, my name is Suzanne, and I’m a smotherer!

Happy Mother’s (Smother) Day!

Read Wendy’s post: Embracing your almost adult children on Mother’s Day

________________________

Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Wendy and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will feature an expert on a topic of interest for parents of the college-bound.

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from parentingforcollege to pocsmom.com and vice versa.

App Tuesday, technology, test prep

Vocabulary.com and the App

May 6, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer

Since this is App Tuesday and I’ve been focusing on apps that help students with college prep, I came across a website and an accompanying app that make learning vocabulary not only productive, but fun. Vocabulary.com uses the following methodology

1. Answer a few questions

They created more than 120,000 questions designed to help you learn words
2. We build a model of your knowledge

Their magical technology models your brain. The more you play, the more they know about your vocabulary knowledge.
3. They predict which vocabulary words you don’t know and teach them to you

Get a question wrong? They will schedule Review and Progress questions so that you’ll learn the word, and won’t forget it in the future.
4. You learn useful words and improve your vocabulary

Track your progress as you quickly master the words that are essential to success in an academic or business environment.

It’s that simple. You can also access vocabulary lists from great literary works, historical documents, speeches, the news and vocabulary lists for test prep.

It’s Like a Personal Trainer for Your Brain

They use their own adaptive learning system to ensure that you get the right question at the right time. They build a model of your vocabulary and abilities as you answer each question, and then serve you up with questions that are not too hard and not too easy. From the results of these questions, they determine what words to focus on in your personalized learning program.

A Personalized List of Words Just for You

As you answer questions, they begin to compile a list of words to learn. If you get a question wrong or choose to use a hint, the word is added to the list. Once they add a word to this list, they keep working with you until you’ve mastered that word. You can see your list by clicking on the My Progress tab on the top of the screen.

Vocabulary.com-The App

The Vocabulary.com app, a perfect tool to access at any time, is your personalized adaptive learning game. The dictionary was written for humans, by humans. Look up a word, and you’ll read a friendly explanation that you’ll actually remember. It’s as if your favorite teacher were explaining it to you. They include clever usage tips and thousands of real-world example sentences that’ll show you how words live in the wild and will make you more confident about using them yourself.

If that’s not enough, vocabulary learning becomes an addictive game. Accumulate points, achievements, and badges while competing against your Facebook friends, your classmates, or other members of the Vocabulary.com community.

Check out their website AND the app for iOs or Android devices. For just $2.99 it’s a bargain and an investment for the future. Use both the website and the app to build a strong vocabulary for not only test prep, but to prepare for the rigorous reading and writing in college.

financial aid, mom approved tips, parenting

Mom-Approved Tips: What Are Your Priorities?

May 5, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer

Every day parents complain about the high cost of college and the fact that even though they have saved, it’s not going to be enough to cover present day costs. When the kids enter high school, most parents begin to panic. The time has slipped away from them and they are faced with some difficult decisions. The thought of disappointing their kids seems unfathomable and the thought of telling their family and friends that they can’t afford to send their kids to college is even worse.

Consequently, we exhibit behavior that has devastating consequences for us and for our kids:

We make unwise decisions related to student loans
We neglect to tell our kids “no” when a college is beyond our ability to pay
We don’t include our kids in the financial aspects of the decision in the beginning

I read a post by Lynn O’Shaughnessy on The College Solution blog entitled “We are Done Paying for College”— it made me stop and think: what are our priorities as parents? Lynn and her husband began planning when their kids were little. They scrimped and saved and prepared for the day when they would go to college. It required sacrifice and commitment. But they did it and can say that their kids graduated without any student loan debt. You owe it to yourself to read her post, even if your kids are already in high school. It’s a definite wakeup call for all parents of college-bound teens.

Step back and evaluate

What are your priorities? Is college important enough for you to make some sacrifices? This means financial sacrifices and sacrifices of your time.

Make a plan and stick to it

If paying for college means driving an older model car for a few years, do it. If you need to supplement your education savings by taking on a second job and insisting your kids work during high school, make it work. If your family has to forgo some vacations, a new home, or a eating out often, it’s worth the sacrifice. But whatever you decide, make a plan and stick to it.

Be creative and think outside the box

There are so many creative ways to attain a college degree. Your kid isn’t bound to the typical four-year University or attending four consecutive years in a row. It’s also not necessarily essential that they attend college right out of high school. Do whatever it takes to attain the degree without debt and causing the family financial hardship.

It doesn’t matter where you are in the college prep process. You should evaluate your priorities and ask yourself some tough questions. It may sting in the beginning but once you’ve examined your options, you’ll sleep easier and so will your kids.

Scholarship Friday, scholarships

Scholarship Friday: Show Your College Love Scholarship

May 2, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer

So many college scholarships require long essays and detailed applications. When I find one that doesn’t, I like to share it with my readers. The Show Your College Love Contest is sponsored by Popp and Associates, an educational consulting company providing guidance and direction to parents and students.

The 2014 Show Your College Love Scholarship Contest is for high school seniors (Class of 2014) and current college students attending a 4-year college in the United States now or beginning in the summer 2014, fall 2014, spring 2015, or fall 2015 semesters. Students are invited to submit photos and/or videos along with a brief text explanation of why they chose the college they plan to attend or what they love about their current college experience in no more than 250 words. What could be simpler?

Contest submissions will be accepted until midnight EDT May 9, 2014 and can be completed online.

Entries will be judged for originality of content, creativity of presentation, and the quality of the personal statement writing (including spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc.). The winner will be selected by the Popp & Associates staff. Decisions of the Popp & Associates judging committee are final.

The winner will receive a college scholarship in the amount of $500, and a charitable donation in the amount of $250 will be given to the winner’s high school, college or charity of choice.

social networks, twitter chats

25 + 25 Twitter Accounts Every Parent Should Follow

May 1, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer 22 Comments

In 2012 I compiled a list of 25 Twitter accounts every parent of a college-bound teen should follow. Since then, I have added 25 more to my list. Following are the first 25 and the second 25.

The first 25:

@SuzanneShaffer https://twitter.com/SuzanneShaffer
@collegevisit https://twitter.com/collegevisit
@askjohnabout https://twitter.com/askjohnabout
@jodiokun https://twitter.com/JodiOkun
@payingforschool https://twitter.com/PayingForSchool
@zinch https://twitter.com/Zinch
@collegeblogs https://twitter.com/CollegeBlogs
@collegeboard https://twitter.com/CollegeBoard
@JaneKulow https://twitter.com/CVLKulow
@CPofAmerica https://twitter.com/CPofAmerica
@scholarshipscom https://twitter.com/Scholarshipscom
@AidScholarship https://twitter.com/AidScholarship
@collegeweeklive https://twitter.com/CollegeWeekLive
@NancyBerk https://twitter.com/nancyberk
@HappiestKid https://twitter.com/HappiestKid
@fujifulgueras https://twitter.com/fujifulgueras
@collegemoneyblg https://twitter.com/collegemoneyblg
@4collegeparents https://twitter.com/4collegeparents
@simpletuition https://twitter.com/SimpleTuition
@unigo https://twitter.com/Unigo
@studentadvisor https://twitter.com/StudentAdvisor
@preppedpolished https://twitter.com/PreppedPolished
@PeterVanBuskirk https://twitter.com/PeterVanBuskirk
@nytimescollege https://twitter.com/NYTimesCollege
@collegeadvice https://twitter.com/collegeadvice

And now the next 25:

26. @jeannieborin https://twitter.com/jeannieborin

27. @getcollege https://twitter.com/getcollege

28. @scholarshipsorg https://twitter.com/scholarshipsorg

29. @collegexpress https://twitter.com/collegexpress

30. @huffpostcollege https://twitter.com/huffpostcollege

31. @EmEdConsulting https://twitter.com/EmEdConsulting

32. @collegevisittip https://twitter.com/collegevisittip

33. @best_collegefit https://twitter.com/best_collegefit

34. @Quad2Quad https://twitter.com/quad2quad

35. @KnowsyMoms https://twitter.com/knowsymoms

36. @applykit https://twitter.com/applykit

37. @parentteenguide https://twitter.com/parentteenguide

38. @socialassurity https://twitter.com/socialassurity

39. @CZLaw https://twitter.com/czlaw

40. @directhitsfan https://twitter.com/directhitsfan

41. @collparcentral https://twitter.com/collparcentral

42. @prepforcollege https://twitter.com/prepforcollege

43. @MESFoundation https://twitter.com/mesfoundation

44. @College_Experts https://twitter.com/college_experts

45. @CelestHorton https://twitter.com/celesthorton

46. @admitted_ly https://twitter.com/admitted_ly

47. @MindyPopp https://twitter.com/mindypopp

48. @Admissions411 https://twitter.com/admissions411

49. @vCollegeAdvisor https://twitter.com/vcollegeadvisor

50. @TeenLifeMedia https://twitter.com/teenlifemedia

parenting, Uncategorized, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: It’s Party Time Again

April 30, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer

It’s party time again—your teenagers are getting glammed up for proms and parties. But before they head out the door, there are some topics you should discuss with them. Here are three of my past posts discussing how to talk with your teens about partying that goes too far.

Drinking

It’s party season again and unfortunately that means underage drinking and possibly driving. Before your teen leaves for college, have a chat with him/her about the dangers of alcohol. I know you’re thinking: they won’t listen to me. But kids will tell you that they actually listen more than we think.

Watch this video for the truth about drinking

Hooking Up

What is hooking up? The term “hook up” is vague, but is usually defined as a no-commitment, physical encounter with a stranger or acquaintance. Hooking up can range from just a casual get-together to a make out session to sexual intercourse. Knowing this makes it difficult to discern just what it means when your college student tells you they “hooked up” with so and so.

Read More

Drinking and Driving

Do you remember when you were a teenager? Likely you can recall bits and pieces, but as you have grown older, wiser, and more experienced, you may have forgotten the particular blend of hormones, peer pressure, and self-discovery that leads teens to experience a sense of both invincibility and the immediacy of everything going on in their lives. You no doubt shake your head, exasperated, when your teens decry your overly careful attitude, but the truth is that you are at very different places in life. Your teens have yet to know the heartache and hurt that has caused you to become so cautious. But you have been where they are, and if you try to recall how you thought and felt at their age you should be able to come up with ways to connect to your college-bound kids on a level they can relate to.

Read More

Read Wendy’s post: Partying and your college bound teen

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App Tuesday, test prep

6 Test Prep Apps

April 29, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer

Today’s apps of choice are test prep apps. Some are free, others are free to test, and some are paid apps. Knowing how important test prep is, use them to help prep for standardized tests.

1. EduPath SAT Prep

EduPath’s adaptive platform picks up on a student’s weaknesses and exercises them until they’re strong. It’s optimized for in-between moments like waiting for the bus, between classes, or before bed. Their world-class instructors are trained in the same proven methodologies that power their technology, providing constant, seamless instruction between the App and live sessions. There is also an industry-first dashboard for parents that lets them see the student’s progress in real-time—and provides an easy starting point for positive conversations about the college admissions process.

2. SAT Question of the Day

Created by the College Board, the SAT Question of the Day App provides real SAT questions and SAT preparation materials from the test maker. With the question of the day Application you can answer a real SAT question each day.

3. ACT Student

ACT Student helps users anticipate and manage the ACT Test experience. Using the “Practice” feature, students can attempt answers to practice items and gain feedback from their attempts. “Account” allows users to log in for limited, read-only access to their own registration and score information. Accessing the link to ACT’s mobile site, users can find straightforward answers to typical questions test takers have about events leading up to the test and the test day itself.

4. eTextPrep

Though it’s not an app designed for a smartphone or tablet, this new mobile service is simple and targets the activity woven into nearly every high school student’s life—text messaging. Students receive three vocabulary words a day via text to help them prepare for the SAT, ACT, or an array of Advanced Placement tests. The eTextPrep premise is simple – students receive 2 to 3 SAT, ACT, AP, Middle School Challenge or word-of-the-day text messages (SMS) that contain essential vocabulary words, their definitions and parts of speech. Students simply click, look and learn. It’s mobile. It works. It’s that easy.

5. BenchPrep

This comprehensive product for SAT and ACT is intended to help students prepare stress-free, giving them everything they need in one place; hundreds of practice questions, detailed explanations, and high-quality reading content from the world’s most respected publishers. With study plans to guide students along, and material that syncs across all devices, they will be ready for test day.

6. AllenPrep

Allen Prep has published multiple test prep iPad/iPhone apps for multiple exams. The ACT and SAT apps are free to download and include a substantial number of test questions for each section of each exam. Once the apps are downloaded, you can access the question bank by entering a valid email address. An email with an activation code will be sent to this email address. Each mock exam includes a free sample test, covering all subjects, and includes hundreds of questions. You can also make an in-app purchase of different test banks to target a specific area.

college planning, college prep, mom approved tips

Mom-Approved Tips: When Do You Start Preparing for College?

April 28, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer 1 Comment

How early is too early to start preparing for college? Should you start in grade school? Should you wait until high school? How and when do you begin the process?

Grade School

Some type A, over controlling parents will tell you they start grooming their kids for college in grade school. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? But on some level, it’s not that crazy. In grade school you help them form the foundation for academic success and the attitude of serving others. Both these character traits will serve them well as they begin the college prep process.

Middle School

Ideally, middle school students should begin the pre-planning process for high school. Course selection begins at this level as well, carrying on into high school.

Recognizing this need, John Ma, a college counselor, begins coaching students in the 6th grade:

Building up true interests and strong extracurriculars and leadership positions can help students thrive during the brutal top-tier college app season. Booksmart kids with high test scores and high grades are a dime a dozen, and strong academic performance is simply expected at top universities. Highly developed extracurriculars that reflect a standout character and strong communication and leadership skills significantly increase chances for admission.

Middle school is the place to begin developing the traits that colleges consider key in the application process.

High School

It goes without saying that students who enter high school should hit the ground running. The intense years of college prep begin as they become freshmen. From making wise course selection courses to establishing a commitment to community service to striving to excel academically, students who approach college prep early will reap the benefits of their preparation.

If you look at college preparation as training your child to excel in life, you can see that setting the groundwork for success early in life will alleviate some of the stress and pressure during the college application time. A student who has a strong academic record, a solid commitment over the last four years to one area of community service, and planned ahead for application time will be less stressed and more ready to approach the highly demanding months of senior year.

As I like to say–preparation prevents panic. And the college admissions process will be much smoother if you plan early.

Scholarship Friday, scholarships

Scholarship Friday: The Best Scholarship Podcasts

April 25, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer 1 Comment

Each week, Celest Horton, of How to Pay for College HQ, interviews experts in the field of college admissions, college prep, financial aid and scholarships. Her goal is to help parents pay for college without going into debt.

This week, I’ve chosen to highlight some her best scholarship podcasts. If you aren’t subscribed to her podcasts you should do so immediately. Perhaps these few will wet your appetite and make you want to listen to more.

Scholarship Gold Consulting

There was so much information to cover, there were two podcasts. Her guest, Elizabeth Hartley, has been building her credentials and experience for the last 20 years by pursuing and receiving full scholarships, judging for scholarship competitions, coaching students who win prestigious full scholarships all across the country and guiding hundreds of students through the college search, admission and financial aid process. She is also the founder of Scholarship Gold Consulting where her clients have secured millions of dollars in scholarship funding and admissions into their most desired schools. Head over to her website and sign up for her free monthly newsletter, it’s so filled with helpful information.

The C Student’s Guide to Scholarships

Can you imagine being told by your High School Guidance Counselor that you will never make it to college and to just give up and look into vocational schools? That is what happened to Felecia Hatcher, but she didn’t let it stop her.

Author and Founder of Scholarships.Org

Gyan returned to college in her 40s and received a BA in Psychology and a Masters in Professional Coaching. As an educator and a nontraditional, disabled, first-generation student, she is uniquely qualified to write a series of books that provide detailed listings of scholarships and advice on how to find genuine scholarship opportunities online. She shares her knowledge with parents and students on her website, in her books, and through coaching calls on Skype.

Jason Lum of Scholarship Edge

Jason’s background and track record are impressive. Jason graduated from America’s most competitive programs at Harvard, Berkeley, and Washington University in St. Louis. Jason also received rigorous training in leadership and coaching from MIT and Columbia University. He’s also an expert in college advising, having graduated with honors from UCLA’s program in training professional independent college counselors.

Jason won over $250,000 in scholarships, winning virtually every major national award available to college students in the USA. He graduated debt-free.

Monica Matthews-The Scholarship Mom

Monica Mathews is the proud mother of three sons and has earned the title of Scholarship Mom when she helped her oldest earn $100,000 in scholarships. Her second son is a Freshman this year and has currently been awarded $27,000 and will continue the application process while in college. She has written a simple, but easy to apply and understand booklet for parents and students: How to Win College Scholarships.

college planning, college prep, websites

Custom College Rankings

April 24, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer

For seniors, the college search is almost over. On May 1st, they will make their final college choice and look toward graduation and the fall when they become a college student.

For sophomores and juniors, the search has just begun. We’ve been learning about choosing a college over the last several weeks, with posts like: How to Choose a College, 7 College Search Apps for Parents and Students, and The Student Role in the College Visit. Students and parents are looking for tools that will help them as they begin that college list.

What is Custom College Rankings?

Custom College Rankings is an amazing site created to help you view all the college statistics on a spreadsheet and change the criteria of the spreadsheet as you view it. There are over 2900 colleges and universities with statistics for each gathered from the most recent data from the U.S. Department of Education.

How does it work?

According to the site, you can use the spreadsheet in three ways:

To find colleges by using as many filters as you like on the spreadsheet.
To compare colleges by checking the boxes on the spreadsheet of the colleges you want to compare.
To look up the statistics for a specific college.

Why create another college search site?

It’s creator, Susie Sadowsky holds a B.A. in accounting from Michigan State University and an M.S. in computer science from San Diego State University. After helping her two teenagers through the college admissions process, she created CUSTOM COLLEGE RANKINGS to give others what she wishes had been available to her.

Her motivation is to help parents with the college search process and save them some of the frustration that I encountered when helping my children through this process. After reading how US News ranks colleges she realized that she didn’t care about several of the criteria they were using. Thus she wanted to create her own rankings. She wanted to combine the search for colleges and data gathering into one central area. The best way to do this she determined was on a spreadsheet

Ms. Sadowsky explains what’s different about her rankings:

My spreadsheet combines searching for colleges with comparing data of colleges all in one spreadsheet. Many websites are good at helping you narrow down your college list but the data for your list of colleges can only be found on separate pages for each college.
Fine tuning of filters when searching for a college. One thing that frustrated me when I was using other college search websites is when it came to specifying your desired size the choices were limited.
Other websites do not include the crime statistics.
My website ranks all colleges together. Other websites like US News rank Small Liberal Arts Colleges, Large National Universities and Regional Universities separately.

Take it for a test drive and let me know what you think. Custom College Rankings is just another tool parents can add to their arsenal of college prep.

Parenting for College

Wednesday’s Parent: Mother’s Day, Smother Day

Vocabulary.com and the App

1. Answer a few questions

2. We build a model of your knowledge

4. You learn useful words and improve your vocabulary

It’s Like a Personal Trainer for Your Brain