All posts by Suzanne Shaffer

admissions, college guidance, college planning, college prep, mom approved tips, parenting

10 Tips for Parents of the College Bound

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10 tips for parents

Parenting a college-bound teen is a challenge. How much should you push? How much should you help? Where do you draw the line? How involved should you be? How do you help your student fulfill his college dreams?

Here are 10 tips for parents that should answer your questions:

10 Tips for Parents of High School Students

1. Don’t overparent

Much has been written lately about the damages overparenting does to students. Step aside and let your student take the wheel.

2. Make a visit to your teen’s counselor

Let the counselor know that you intend to be an involved parent and establish a relationship at the start. The counselor is an important source of information and of course guidance regarding your teen’s college pursuit.

3. Establish relationships with teachers and staff

Since most parents tend to drop out when their teen reaches high school, it’s crucial that you make it clear to the educators that you will be a partner in educating your child. Show up at PTA meetings and parent information sessions.

4. Read all school information

This means reading the school handbook, teacher handouts, letters to parents, guidance department newsletters, any rules and policies, and homework and attendance rules.

5. Stress the importance of good attendance

Attendance is key in high school. Missing even one class can put the student behind. Schedule appointments, when possible, before and after school. If there is an absence, make sure your teen does the make up work in a timely manner.

6. Encourage strong study habits

These habits will follow your teen to college. Set aside a regularly scheduled study time. Studying needs to be a priority before any added activities.

7. Stress regular contact with teachers and counselors

This contact will play an important role when your teen needs recommendation letters. It will also establish in the minds of these educators that he or she means business.

8. Be the organization coach

If you know where everything is, have a schedule and a plan, you won’t get stressed and frustrated. It’s your job as their parent coach to help them start and maintain good organization for their date planners, notebooks, folders, files and college related materials.

9. Stay informed and involved

This does not mean camp out at the school every day and follow your teen around. It means monitoring quizzes, grades, daily homework assignments and long-term projects.

10. Be proactive when you encounter problems

All types of problems arise in high school: academic, behavioral and even social. There is a logical solution for all of them, but the key is to be aware when they arise and address them quickly.

10 Tips for Parents of Seniors

1. Do the prep work

Get ready for the mounds of catalogs, test prep booklets, flyers and email reminders. Start your filing system now, create a landing zone for all college-related materials, start adding tasks on a calendar.

2. Do your best to control your emotions

It’s going to be an emotional time for both you and your student. Angry words will be spoken if you don’t make a conscious effort to bite your tongue.

3. Prepare for rejection

The upcoming year will most likely mean that your student (and you) will have to deal with rejection. It’s not personal, but you will feel like it is.

4. Decide what role you will take

Please. I beg you. Do NOT be the parent that shoves, manipulates, and actually does the work for their student. Be the parent who encourages, supports and offers help and advice when needed.

5. Prepare for emotional outbursts

This is one of the most stressful times in your family. There will be emotional outbursts as the stress intensifies. Your student will say things she does not mean. You will lose your temper and wish you didn’t.

6. Discuss the money

If you want to avoid disappointment when offers of admission arrive, have the “money talk” before your student applies to colleges. Decide what you can afford, what you will be willing to contribute toward the costs, and what you expect your student to contribute.

7. Accept there will be consequences to actions

Your student will most likely fail or mess up at some point during senior year. Rescuing your kids all the time only makes them into dependent adults and colleges aren’t impressed with those type of students or the parents that come with them.

8. Be open to all possibilities

Be open to any college choices your student might make. You will not be the one attending the college and it’s not up to you to choose for her.

9. Don’t push-it simply won’t help

If your student is unmotivated, it’s not going to help to nag her and push her to do the college prep work. If there is one thing I learned with both of my kids (and clients), if your student is not invested in the college process she won’t be invested in college.

10. Enjoy the journey

This is an exciting time in the life of your teenager. She has worked hard and will be planning her future. Enjoy the next year, even when you feel stressed and overwhelmed.

Scholarship Friday, scholarships

Scholarship Friday: Creepy Halloween Scholarships

halloween

Although these scholarships have been deemed “creepy and freaky”, any scholarship that gets you FREE money for college is anything but creepy and freaky. In honor of Halloween, here are two of the creepiest.

Are you fascinated with paranormal activity?

The New York-based Parapsychology Foundation offers young ghost hunters and those with interest in the paranormal several scholarships. There are 5 annual awards with varying deadlines

  • The Annual Charles T. and Judith A. Tart Research Grant of $500
  • The Annual Robert R. Coly Prize of $1000
  • The Annual Eileen J. Garrett Scholarship of $3000
  • The Annual Frances P. Bolton Fellowship of $3000
  • The D. Scott Rogo Award for Parapsychological Literature of $3000

You can open the PDF file attached to the link for the foundation to get all the details of each and the deadlines.

Are you a Walking Dead fan?

The Zombie Scholarship Committee from Scholarship Experts wants to know your plan to avoid the zombies, where you would hide (or maybe you don’t need to), and the top five things you would bring to stay alive.

The 2014 Zombie Apocalypse Scholarship is underway, and they are giving one successful “survivor” $2,000 towards his or her college education. Do you think you have what it takes to make the cut? But you better act fast—today is the deadline for this year’s scholarship. For those of you who are making a list for the future. Put this one on you calendar!

admissions, common app, Guest Posts

The Top 3 Mistakes Students Make on the Common App

 

common appWe are in the midst of the application season, probably one of the most stressful, scary, and overwhelming times for most teenagers and their parents. I want to share with you the top three mistakes students make on the Common Application and how you can make sure your children don’t make them and get into the colleges of their dreams. 

1. Not Telling Their Unique, Compelling Story

Schools are looking for well-rounded student bodies NOT well-rounded students. The admissions committee and anyone else should be able to read through your child’s application and get a sense of exactly who they are and what they care about. This doesn’t happen if your child is president of every club, plays every sport, and volunteers at 20 different organizations.  Your child’s application should focus on depth not breadth, quality over quantity. Don’t just take my word for it. This is what Harvard has to say about your child’s activities:

We are much more interested in the quality of students’ activities than their quantity so do not feel you need to fill in the entire grid! Contributions students make to the well-being of their secondary schools, communities and families are of great interest to us.

Everything from the activities to honors to courses to essays should come together and tell your child’s unique, compelling story. Getting an outsider’s look at your child’s complete application can really help with this.

2. Underselling Their Activities

I’ve seen students do it over and over again. The activities are seen as an afterthought, and students give very little attention to them. They also tend to underestimate the time spent on their activities. This is where your child sets themselves apart from all the other high test score, high GPA students. This is where they become “that girl” or “that guy” – the socially responsible athlete, the engineer who cares about social justice, the piano player who wants to help autistic kids. 

Students are only allowed 150 characters to describe each activity, so the descriptions need to be compelling and concise. All of the tips that apply to resumes apply to this activity list. Your child needs to focus on numbers, like the number of new members they brought into the club, the amount of money they earned/got donated/managed, the number of participants at their events. Make sure they put numbers in every description. If the honors they listed previously were associated with an activity, be sure they tie that back in. The activities should sound as impressive as possible. One tip I absolutely love for this section is to include a website for the activity if there is one.

3. Rushing Through the Supplements

Each college has questions and many of them require writing supplements. These are just as important as the Common Application itself. Students often leave this until the end and struggle with it. Make sure your child spends as much time on and with their supplements as they do with the rest of their application.

Many writing supplements ask “Why School X?”. One tip I give all the students I work with is to mention specific activities, programs, and professors at the school that they’re excited to work with and be involved in. Remember, what the supplements are really asking is why your child should be admitted to that particular college. Make sure their application and supplements describe how they will contribute to the school and its legacy. 

Now that you know the top three mistakes students make on their Common Apps, you can help your child avoid them and get into their dream college. Get my Ultimate Guide to the Common App plus worksheets and tools to help your child create their best application and my favorite college admissions resources and websites. All totally FREE!

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Today’s guest post is from Jessica Yeager, a grad of Harvard and MIT, and a tutor and college coach for high-achieving students and their parents at Impress the Ivies. You can get her Ultimate Guide to the Common App for free.

career colleges, careers, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Consider a Career Focused College

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planning for a career
Penn College students preparing for careers

With all the news about students graduating without job prospects, parents and students are researching alternatives to traditional higher education. One alternative is a career college. What would that look like? It would be a college that focuses on the career along with the degree–a career focused college.

One such college is Pennsylvania College of Technology in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. This college marries a liberal arts education with preparing students for a career after graduation by providing hands on career experience while attending. Students learn to weld, work on airplanes, construct houses, work on automobiles, and much more. Each career path offers a balance between education and career preparation. For more information on Penn College, check out my series: Degrees That Work on my blog.

Another college would be Northeastern University in Boston, Massachusetts. Northeastern offers a Co-op program: an educational program in which you alternate semesters of academic study with semesters of full-time employment in positions related to your academic and/or career interests in the U.S. or globally. Northeastern explains, “We do this through our experiential learning model which is, simply put, learning by doing. While experiential learning can and does happen in classroom, lab and studio situations, it is much more powerful and robust when students have opportunities to use their knowledge and practice their skills in authentic, real-world situations”.

When searching for colleges, consider a career focused college that focus on preparing students for careers after graduation.

Read Wendy’s post: College and Career Game Plan

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Wendy and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will feature an expert on a topic of interest for parents of the college-bound.

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from parentingforcollege to pocsmom.com and vice versa.

admissions, parenting

Live Admissions Chat Sponsored by University Parent

 

live admissions chat

Wednesday, Oct. 28 at 7 p.m. Eastern Time

Join University Parent as they ask the experts at Admissionado your parent questions during a live admissions chat. They will cover topics for parents of current seniors, as well as those earlier in the college preparation process.

The chat will take place on Google Hangouts on Air. The livestream will be embedded on this page, or you may access it here. They will also post the conversation here after the event. Ask a question, meet the contributors, or watch the livestream.

Don’t miss this informative conversation with admissions experts and don’t forget to add your question for them to answer during the chat.

college guidance, college planning, mom approved tips, parenting

Filtering Out the Voices of Other Parents

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voices of other parents

If you have a high school senior or junior you know the college pressure. Unfortunately, it’s not always with your student. Parents feel extreme pressure and they often feel alone with the feelings of inadequacy and dread. This is the time in your child’s life when the rubber hits the road. The last 11 or 12 years of school come down to one huge question: what will they do after high school?

Why do parents feel pressure? It’s quite simple—there is parent peer pressure. Parents who roll their eyes or are completely floored when you say your child hasn’t decided about college. Parents who compare notes, throwing out names like Stanford, Harvard, Princeton, Yale and other Ivy league colleges. Parents who wear those names as badges of honor and claim success as a parent based on their child’s college prospects. Parents who can foot the bill for the entire cost of college and let it be known at every college related gathering.

How can you filter out the voices of other parents? Take a step back and look at the reality of what is happening with your teenager. It’s your job to help him make some tough decisions. These might not include traditional college. It might involve going to community college for two years. It could mean exploring career or technical colleges. Your child might benefit from a gap year abroad or working at an internship to get a better career focus. The military could also be an option for some students, as it was for my son.

Just as no two individuals are alike, no two post graduation scenarios are either. Don’t feel intimidated by other parents to push your student toward a specific college just so you can have bragging rights. This is not a competition. Your child must make this decision for himself and be happy with his choice.

Filter everything by asking, “What is best for my child and my family?” It doesn’t matter what path other students take. Your student must take the path that is best for him. You have not failed as a parent if your student does not get into an Ivy league college or a top-tiered school on the America’s Best Colleges list. You have not failed as a parent if your child chooses other post-graduation paths to find his place in life. You have failed if you don’t listen and guide your student toward happiness and fulfillment. Ultimately, what matters most is that he makes a decision based on what is best for him.

Don’t push your child to attend a “name” college that you cannot afford, saddling both yourself and your student with debt. There are plenty of great colleges in this country that are bargains, offer substantial merit aid, and often opportunities to attend for free. Your student will thank you when he graduates with minimal or no debt and realizes that the degree from a state college is just as valued as a degree from an Ivy league university.

Peer pressure comes in all forms. Parents can’t help but brag on their children. And every parent feels that the choices their teenagers make after high school will dictate their future. Remind yourself that the years after high school are about exploration and discovery. However your child chooses to pursue them, be proud and support his choice. When you hear the “voices” in your head telling you otherwise, remember what my mom used to say to me, “Just because she jumped off a bridge, it doesn’t mean you have to.”

Scholarship Friday, scholarships

Frame My Future Scholarship from DiplomaFrame

frame my future scholarship
2105 Grand Prize Winner-Olivia Nguyen

The Frame My Future Scholarship Contest is unlike most of the traditional scholarships, there are no essays to write, no grade or academic requirements—it is all about creativity.

Students are challenged to create a visual entry, whether it is a photograph, collage, painting, illustration, poem, short story—any single piece that demonstrates what he/she would like to do in their personal and professional life after college.

Entrants are asked to follow the theme: This is how I Frame my Future.

Entry Period:

October 14, 2015 – March 8, 2016

Prizes:

Five $1,000 scholarships and commemorative Frame My Future frames will be awarded to 5 Winners, plus a $1,000 donation check to the Grand Prize Winner’s 2016 attended college/university

19 Finalists will also be awarded commemorative Frame My Future certificates

For more rules and information about this contest, visit the main contest page: www.framemyfuture.com

college prep, parenting

Wednesday’s Parent: Evaluate College Prep Progress Monthly

 

evaluate college prep

With all the tasks involved in college prep it makes sense to take a quick evaluation of your teen’s progress and evaluate college prep monthly. Deadlines will creep up on you, tasks will fall by the wayside, and your teen may drop the ball. By scheduling a monthly evaluation, you and your student will assure that every task and deadline is met, along with providing a time to have a conversation about any concerns you or your teen have during the process.

Wendy David-Gaines, Long Island College Prep Examiner and POCSMom, explains the importance of good habits during the college prep process:

This is not about avoiding sliding into a rut or fighting senioritis although both are specific reasons for reevaluation. This is concerning a normal and regular college preparation review. The purpose is to ensure students are still on track considering any recent modifications that may have occurred.

A lot can change during a school year that influences testing and college choice, field of study and student qualifications. Even subtle differences can highlight the revisions students need to make. Then families can put the alterations in place to become future habits that will eventually be reexamined, too.

College prep requires parents and students work as a team. Taking the time to evaluate your progress can make the process go smoother and avoid the stress of missed deadlines or college admissions requirements.

Read Wendy’s article: How habits can hurt college prep

admissions, Guest Posts

Helping Your Student Make the College Decision

 

making the college decision

The College application season has begun. Students are now feeling the pressure of the college weight on their shoulders, as their future planning starts becoming a reality. But for parents, this may also be an even more stressful time. As a parent, how are you supposed to increase your child’s chances of getting into their top school, and, after that, how will you afford to help pay for the skyrocketing costs of planning and attending a University? I’ve outlined a few key tips that will elevate your child’s application, help you make the college decision and some tips on how you can save costs.

1. College Visits

  • If you are serious about getting your child into their top school, a college visit is a must. College visits provide students with the opportunity to explore the campus and get a feel for the atmosphere they’ll be entering, and it sometimes offers the chance to interact with students and faculty members. However, the cost of college campuses will add up, so it may behoove families to take advantage of guided virtual reality tours, like those offered by SchooLinks; which hosts tours of over 600 high-ranked colleges, including Harvard, Stanford, UCLA, and more.

2. Connect with Admission Officers

  • This may seem intuitive, but there are countless families who think a college visit is enough. It is important to get in front of an admissions officer if you plan to visit a college campus. Book an appointment with an admissions officer to show that you are interested in attending the college, and ask questions regarding the applications, school, etc. to show your continued interest in the school. You may not always have the time to meet with multiple admissions officers in person, but you can reach them via email or on SchooLinks where students can connect and interact with School Admission Officers.

3. Financial Aid

  • As I mentioned before, getting into a college may seem stressful, but figuring out how you will afford to pay for college is an even bigger headache. The go-to solution for financial aid is filling out the FAFSA form or searching for scholarships, but even when searching for scholarships, students often overlook many scholarships they may be eligible for. Parents should urge their students to start applying to scholarships early on, as early as 9th grade. My best advice for winning scholarships is to apply to multiple small scholarships, amounting to awards of $250-$500. Those scholarships normally have a lower number of applicants are yield a greater chance of winning. For an easy scholarship entry, parents can have their children enter the SchooLinks $5000 Scholarship, which has no application or essay requirement.

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Today’s guest post was provided by SchooLinks, an online free resource to help parents and students organize and plan college application submissions as well as scholarship applications. Students can connect with School Admission Officers, view guided virtual reality tours, or receive help from consultants. Upon joining, students should fill out their profiles completely, with all of their personal and academic information, in order to provide schools with all the important information they require. This will also allow SchooLinks determine which scholarship students are eligible, which makes the list of scholarships to research much more narrow. To get started, create a profile today!

college prep, interviews

College Interview Questions to Ask and Answer

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college interview questionsThe college interview is your student’s first exposure to what a job interview after graduation will be like. Most students are nervous, just as my daughter was on her first college interview. These questions, and others, will be going through their minds before and during the interview:

  • What questions will they ask?
  • How will I answer them?
  • Will I answer them correctly?
  • Will I make a good impression?
  • Will they like me?

The key to approaching a college interview, or any other job interview for that matter, is to prepare in advance. Don’t walk into the interview without a game plan for answering and asking college interview questions.

Here are two articles I wrote for TeenLife Media about the college interview:

Can You Answer These 10 College Interview Questions?

Here is a list of 10 interview questions colleges might ask and suggestions on how to respond. They may not be exactly as worded, but they will fall into one of four categories: questions about your fit with the college, questions about your personality, questions about interests and goals, and broader questions requiring a more thoughtful response.

Read the 10 questions and possible answers

5 Questions You Should Ask on a College Interview

The very last question a college interviewer will ask you is, “Do you have any questions?” The questions you ask them can be just as important and can also help you make your final college decision. In the end, it’s not just them choosing to admit you, it’s you choosing to accept their offer of admission.

Read the 5 question you should ask and how to prepare for them?

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