Choosing a college to go to can be difficult. If you make the wrong choice then this may have an impact on your education for the next few years of your life, but with a bit of research you can be sure to make the right decision.
Accreditation
It doesn’t matter what type of college you are looking to attend because you need to choose one that is accredited. There are various types of accreditation, and some of them include licenses and certificates too. It also helps to do some research as it will help you to understand where your chosen college excels. Quite often, the college will list any credentials they have on their site, so take note of them and then work out what each accreditation stands for. This way you can find out exactly what the college can offer you, and you can also get some valuable insight into how they work as well.
Reviews
One of the best ways for you to understand the quality of a school is to look up rankings and ratings. There are plenty of sites that have all of the information you need, and a lot of them are based on student experiences. You can find out more about a school’s culture, the faculties that are available and even the social life that people have on campus. Remember that going to college isn’t just about the educational facilities, it’s about the student experience too. If a college doesn’t show good reviews for a specific time period, that doesn’t mean that they haven’t turned things around since. Jerry Jellig for example, works with educational institutions to help them do this.
Academic Support
College can sometimes be a challenge, so it helps to know that you have some degree of academic support outside the classroom. Look up to see if your chosen college offers remedial courses in core subjects, and also find out if you have to pay for this.
Social
Do you like to meet up with new people? Or would you prefer more of a close-knit community? Either way, the environment of a school is very important. There is a high chance that you are going to be staying there for years, and you may even be living on or near campus too. A few years is a long time to be living in a community that does not suit your personality. Take the time to find out how many people attend your university, how far away you are from the social and entertainment facilities, and also see if there are any smaller areas around the college that you would rather stay at.
Extracurricular
Sports are often emphasised at college and this is great. If you’re not the sporting kind however then it helps to see if there are any other activities that you could take part in. Sometimes you need to unwind at the end of a long day, so if there are any particular extracurricular activities that you would like to take part in, or if there are any clubs that you would enjoy then take note when making your decision.
You can talk to experts and read all the articles online, but nothing compares to listening to other parents and their experiences with college admissions.
Knowing there are other parents struggling with the same questions, problems and unexpected outcomes can help you feel less alone. But where do you find that information? There are two excellent Facebook groups to help: Paying for College 101 and Grown and Flown. With thousands of parents posting and commenting daily, you can ask any questions (even specific ones) and someone will most likely have the answer.
Parents have asked about testing, financial aid, homesickness, the college admissions process and much more. There are plenty of other parents available to offer their advice and non-judgmental help. According to a survey by Paying for College 101, “the most common words participants used to describe the admissions experience were “stressful,” “exhausting,” and “overwhelming.” Most parents can certainly relate to those feelings.
Other results of the survey include:
Most of the families responding (68%) were going through the college admissions process for the first time
27% of students applied to 10 or more colleges
39% applied to 1 to 5 schools
34% applied to 6 to 9 schools
42% of students were waitlisted
17% of these students being waitlisted at 2 or more schools
89% of responders received some form of financial aid. Of those receiving financial aid, 57% received only merit scholarships, 6% received financial aid based on need, and 37% received a combination of merit and need-based aid
66% of responders were either OK, Satisfied or Very Satisfied with their financial aid offer
62% of responders chose not to appeal their financial aid award
The middle of April is here and students who have been accepted to college are weighing their options and finalizing their choice on or before college decision day. Since this is a life decision and a difficult choice for you and your student, these five tips can help you make that final college choice.
Revisit every college on the list
You can’t know if a college is a good fit without visiting it. Even if you’ve already visited before you were offered admission, revisiting brings a new perspective. Can you see yourself there? Do you fit in with the student body? Does it feel like your new home for the next four years? Revisit with these questions in mind. If you didn’t visit before you apply, this visit is crucial. Never choose a college sight unseen!
Take a hard look at the financial awards
For many students, it comes down to “showing the money”. Compare financial aid awards side by side and use them to weigh your decision. If a college offers admission but doesn’t back it up with financial aid, you should consider a college who did. Why? Because offering aid is a sign of how badly the college wants you to attend.
Determine what your deal-breakers are
Every student has those deal-breakers: Greek life, a specific major, a dorm amenity, location, alumni network and others. A college that doesn’t have that one item on the list, might not be the college for you.
Connect with current students and alumni again
If your student is still unsure, it might help to connect with current students and/or alumni. This group can provide an honest assessment of the college and campus life. Your student can ask questions of each group and will most likely receive an honest answer (one that isn’t on the tour or in the college brochure).
Listen, discuss and decide
Once you and your student have compared colleges, revisited campuses and looked at financial aid, it’s time to listen and discuss. Talk through the decision-making process and voice any concerns either of you might have. Remember–listening is key. Don’t force a college on your student if he’s “just not feeling it.” There’s usually a reason.
The May 1st deadline does put pressure on students to make a decision, especially if there is more than one college that is in the running. You can always use the old trick–flip a coin for heads or tails and whichever your student hopes it lands on that’s the college to choose!
Many families are unrealistic about covering the cost of an expensive college education. Many students admitted that paying for the education at a more expensive university would put a financial burden on their families, but they were still willing to risk it based on their perceived value of that education.
“When three generations of a family collaborate to tackle college costs and fail, the results can be catastrophic. Credit profiles are destroyed, homes and retirements are put at risk, and families land in bankruptcy court. Even then, in most cases higher-education loans, which average more than $30,000 per bachelor’s degree recipient, can only be deferred in bankruptcy, not discharged.
What you’re seeing now in the student-loan area is not only the debtor, but the family of the debtor,” said Manhattan bankruptcy lawyer Dave Shaev. “Mom and Dad are usually the co-signers, and sometimes Grandma or Grandpa are having to dive into retirement funds and home equities to try to bail out a daughter or son with student loans, because the jobs they are getting do not allow them to keep up on the payments.”
Being realistic about student debt and earning potential after graduation is an important part of your college decision. Here are some tips to help make that decision:
Research the jobs that
involve your intended major. Don’t limit
yourself to the obvious. You might find a career path that you had not even
considered.
2. Investigate the
earning potential of the career
These figures can be
easily obtained through the Bureau of Labor Statistics projected earnings
charts. Be realistic. You won’t be paid at the top of the scale right after
graduation. Use the lowest percentage for your figures as a conservative
estimate.
3. Learn about loan repayment
If you are borrowing
money to attend college, don’t just assume you will make enough money to pay
back those loans. Research repayment amounts (and monthly payments) to
determine how much of your salary will go towards student
loans.
4. Consider that life is more than dollar signs
If you are making five figures and employed at a job you detest, the money won’t soothe your misery. Being financially secure is everyone’s goal, but sometimes working at a job you love is worth its weight in gold. A career as a teacher can be as rewarding as being a doctor. You know yourself better than anyone else—pursue your passion.
5. The highest priced
education is not always the best
A high-priced higher
education is not always worth the dividend it pays. Investigate the cost of
tuition and weigh that against your future earning potential. It is wise to
consider community college, investigate trade schools, evaluate state college
cost versus that of private universities, and even consider online accredited
learning.
That degree from a
so-called prestigious university might look
great on your wall; but is it worth cost? Be a wise consumer and don’t go into
debt on the promise of a five-figure salary. Study the statistics, put some
thought into the process, and make an informed decision.
Nothing says spring like
those annual spring college fairs. If you have ever attended one or look
forward to attending one this spring, you know they can be a bit overwhelming.
Faced with the daunting task of connecting with admissions representatives from
numerous colleges, parents and students need a plan. Approaching a college fair
without a plan will leave you frustrated and disappointed at the end of the
event.
College fairs, when
approached properly, can help you in the beginning stages of the college search
process. More importantly, however, they facilitate those all-important
contacts with college admissions officers. Those connections can be used in the
future when visiting campuses, connecting with the colleges via telephone or
email, and even as a “cheer leader” when you college application is submitted for
consideration of admission.
Spring college fairs
are important tools in your arsenal of preparation during the college
admissions process.
If you approach these fairs with the proper planning, you can use the
information you gather and the contacts you make to your benefit.
Preparation prevents
panic
As with any
college-related task, preparation is key; and the college fair is no exception.
Here are just a few tips to consider as a part of your preparation:
Do
some research about the colleges who will be in attendance. Educate yourself regarding the
basic information: campus size, majors offered, location, etc. This will help
you make a good impression and appear knowledgeable when talking to the
representatives. It will also help you when preparing a list of questions to
ask.
Decide
what you will wear: first
impressions are important. Don’t show up in tattered jeans, a dirty
t-shirt, and flip flops. Treat the connections you make with the college
representatives as a preliminary interview.
Set
up a college email account:
firstname_lastname@gmail.com. Use this email address for all your
college-related connections. Doing this will convey a positive impression and
help you keep your emails separate and organized.
Make
self-stick labels
that contain your legal name, mailing address, email address, year of
graduation, and intended area of study. This will speed up the process of
filling out inquiry cards, allowing you more time to talk to the college
representative.
Map out a strategy
When you arrive at the fair,
take a look at the physical map of the location and where each college is
located. Take a few minutes to map out a strategy and decide which colleges you
will have conversations with the representatives in attendance. One Florida admissions
officer compared a spring college fair to a buffet: there will be more there
than you can take in, but not everything is to your taste. As with a buffet, it
is best to scope out your choices before you start adding to your plate or
gathering your information. Don’t waste time with the colleges that don’t
interest you. You’re on a mission—stay focused.
Take notes and gather
business cards
Bring a notebook to the
fair and take some notes as you speak with the college representatives. After
your conversations, ask for a business card. This will be your first contact
with the college and an important one. Turn the card over and make some quick
notes after you leave about the person you spoke with. This will serve as a
reminder when you make a follow-up contact after the college fair.
Ask questions
This is your chance to
ask some questions and conduct your own mini-interview of the colleges. Don’t
waste your time asking questions that can be found on the college websites.
College admissions representatives learn just as much about you from your
questions as they do having a conversation. If you did your homework and
prepared, you should have some specific questions in mind. Use this time to
gather information and learn things about the college you might not find on
their website.
Attend information
sessions
If the spring college
fair is offering information sessions, make plans to attend some of them. Many
fairs have sessions on the search process, applications, financial aid and
other issues run by experts in the field. These sessions are a great place to
ask general questions about the college admission process.
Follow up
After the fair, spend
some time organizing your information and going over your notes. Grab those
business cards you collected, along with the notes you made, and send an email
to the college representative letting them know how much you enjoyed speaking
with them. This will serve to cement your meeting in their mind and provide an
opportunity for further connections.
Find a fair near you
Speak with your high
school guidance counselor about local
college fairs, or find a fair near you sponsored by the National Association
for College Admissions Counseling. If there aren’t any fairs in your area, you
can attend an online fair sponsored by College Week Live.
Unless you have been hiding under a rock for the last week or so, you’re probably aware of the college cheating scandal now known as #VarsityBlues. Some over-anxious parents found it necessary to pay what they call “bribes” to get their students into what they call “prestigious colleges”. My only question: when will this end?
When will parents stop worrying about WHERE their student goes to college versus WHY they go to college? It’s just as bad to dictate your student’s college choice as it is to assure they get in to the college of your choice.
This is nothing new. Parents have been “paying” for their students to go to brand name colleges for years. They donate huge amounts to colleges to secure a spot for their student. They pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to elite coaching companies to assure admission to an Ivy League university.
The Tiger Mom approach
Years ago, there was quite an uproar among parents regarding a Wall Street Journal piece, “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” by Amy Chua, a professor at Yale University. In an excerpt from Chua’s new book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”, Chua writes about her quest to assure her children attend an Ivy League college:
Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
attend a sleepover
have a playdate
be in a school play
complain about not being in a school play
watch TV or play computer games
choose their own extracurricular activities
get any grade less than an A
not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
play any instrument other than the piano or violin
not play the piano or violin.
Does that sound a bit harsh? It does to most parents. Although Ms. Chua
does have a point when it comes to parenting without excuse, there are varying
opinions concerning Ms. Chua’s attitude over the way Western parents do not
take a strict approach in pushing their kids toward the “best”
colleges.
What are the
“best” colleges?
Many parents and educators will tell you they are the Ivies. Others will say they are the ones with the most selective admissions process. Many parents today will insist to paid college counselors that their student can only apply to these schools. It’s not about the fit, but it’s about bragging rights and prestige. Can I brag about my student on Facebook, to other parents and to my colleagues. You don’t believe? Just ask those people who do this for a living–I’ve heard this time and time again.
Are these selective colleges best for your student?
Many parents, college admissions counselors, and educators believe they do. They see these colleges as necessities in providing students with a good job after graduation, opening doors because of the alumni network, and the value of a college name when you venture out into the world.
Why pay for your student to attend a selective college?
You shouldn’t. If you feel the need to seek college counseling help, it should be from someone who has your student’s best interest at heart–not yours! One of my colleagues is so convinced of this, he placed this statement on his website:
“If you prefer personal coaching, I do NOT work with families whose only purpose is to get their child into an Ivy League school, or one that reflects the parent’s need to validate themselves through their children.”Https://www.studentbrandstrategy.com/about
What are the “best” colleges?
In my opinion, the “best” colleges are the ones that will give your student a good education at an affordable price: and one that your student chooses as a good fit for them. There are networking opportunities at every college AND the connections your child makes while in college can be made at any university. As in life, college is what you make of it. If your child takes advantage of the education, the networking opportunities, and works at internships during college, graduation will yield job opportunities. Not every family can afford an Ivy League education. Not every student (in spite of Amy Chua’s beliefs) wants or needs to go there.
If you have to rely on a college name to get ahead in life then I fear
you are missing the entire point of education.
San Diego Union Tribune https://www.gocomics.com/stevebreen/2019/03/13
Here are additional articles that might add to the discussion and help us zero in on the real problem in college admissions:
When your student starts the college search process it’s easy to become overwhelmed and focus completely on the task at hand. First there are the visits, then you compare colleges, then you begin working on the applications that include the essay, and finally completing the FAFSA to qualify for financial aid. With all these tasks at hand, and a focus on academics and test scores, it’s not surprising that many forget to evaluate themselves for other important skill sets. Without these skills, all your preparation and hard work to get accepted will leave you ill-prepared for college life. Is your student prepared for college?
Financial skills
When your student heads off to college there will be many financial decisions they need to make, beginning with how much student loan debt they are willing to incur. Use loan repayment calculators to determine the amount of re-payments after graduation and use these figures to make wise decisions about loans. They will also need to know how to budget their money in regards to other college costs such as books, living expenses and entertainment. Add to that the knowledge of credit card rates and how easily it is to fall into debt using them for simple things such as pizza. Many students graduate from college with over $10,000 in credit card debt.
Social skills
If your student is headed off to college to hook up with the party scene, they are in for a rude awakening when their first semester grades are released. Many students forget that partying affects their study time and class attendance. If they are exhausted from partying the night before, they are less likely to get up for that early class. Recognize that while making friends and enjoying the social scene are necessary for their overall satisfaction of the college experience, they should not forget the reason they came to college: to get an education. Discuss with them how to balance their social life with their academic life before they leave in the fall.
Academic skills
College is not like high school. Professors expect that your student do their assignments and they don’t check up on you if you don’t. Coming to college with refined study and organization skills will help your student adjust to the rigorous course requirements of a college degree program. Managing their time is also important as it relates to class assignments, studying for tests and preparing term papers.
Mental skills
College life produces a whole new set of mental and emotional problems. Many students face homesickness early and should recognize that those feelings are normal. They should go to college with the skills needed to cope with stress and the feeling of loneliness that often occurs. Recognize that all these factors contribute to their overall mental health and know beforehand where they can find help if they need it.
Problem solving
skills
College is no different than life—obstacles occur on a daily basis and you will need the skills to deal with those obstacles. Your student will be confronted with conflict and should know how to resolve that conflict, either by themselves or with a mediator (such as an RA or student advisor). They will face situations that require them to advocate and they should be comfortable doing this before they head off to college and become completely independent.
So much time is spent preparing for the actual college choice and application that very little time and effort goes into prepping for these valuable life skills. They may be prepared for the academic rigors of college, but neglecting to prepare for all the other aspects of college life might affect your success and ultimate degree completion. It’s your role as a parent to make sure they have these skills before they leave for college.
Keep these questions in mind as you plan your next college visits and
take the time to schedule an appointment with the school’s office of financial
aid.
1. What are your
financial aid deadlines?
In addition to deadlines for the standard financial aid applications: the
Free Application
for Federal Financial Aid (FAFSA) and PROFILE, the financial aid application
service of the College Board, colleges may also have their own deadlines and
forms. Be sure to ask if the school’s financial aid forms are different for
need-based and merit-based aid when the deadlines are. Note many schools have
declared March 1 as their priority filing date for financial aid. Be sure to
confirm each school’s priority filing dates.
2. What is your Cost of Attendance (COA) for the current year?
There are precisely six components to a college student’s complete
budget:
Tuition
Fees
Room and Board
College Textbooks and Supplies
Personal expenses
Transportation
Many proposed budgets only include Direct Costs (which are the first three items listed) and typically what you will pay directly to the bursar’s office. However, the U. S. Department of Education requires that colleges fully inform you as to all of the above costs, so find out specifically what those amounts are to establish a complete budget for college expenses.
3. How much of an increase in the COA do you project for next year?
When you ask this question, be sure to request the specifics related to
each cost component. Tuition and Room and Board increases are independent of
each other. For example, one school may expect an increase of 5 percent in
tuition and fees, but a 10 percent increase in Room and Board. This information
will help with budgeting but also gives the financial aid officer the
impression that you are an informed parent.
4. Are you able to meet 100 percent of financial need?
If they say “No,” find out why, and get details. Is the policy
based on “first come, first served?” What’s the average percentage of
need the school can meet? What percentage is in the form of grants and how much
is in the form of loans? Is there a dollar amount left
as a gap (unmet need) for everyone? Do they include Parent Loans (PLUS) in the aid package?
(Note: They shouldn’t do this…those loans are to be used for your EFC-Expected Family Contribution, not for meeting
the financial need of the student.)
5. Do you offer Merit Scholarships, and how do you treat private scholarships awarded to the student?
If a Merit Scholarship is being awarded, it normally goes into the
financial aid package first, reducing the amount of need-based aid. Find out if
a merit award reduces the self-help in the package, or if it replaces other
need-based grants. A true Merit Scholarship can go beyond the “need”
level, which means that it can lower your EFC.
It’s a jungle out there–cluttered with all kinds of college advice. How does a parent hack through the massive amounts of advice and find what they need with confidence? It’s not easy. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of college help websites, Facebook groups, YouTube channels and more offering paid and unpaid advice about college.
There are five experts I turn to when I need added advice about all things college:
Debbie Schwartz-admissions/financial aid
Debbie Schwartz founded Road2College in 2016 to educate families about college admissions and empower smarter college financial decisions. Her facebook group has a huge following with parents and experts sharing advice about paying for college and finding colleges with the best merit aid.
With all the scholarship search sites and information out there, you need someone to help your student WIN the scholarships they are eligible for. Monica fits that bill. She successfully helped her son graduate debt-free with $100,000 worth of scholarships by using her unique method of packaging the scholarship application. She knows her stuff and she knows what you need to know to make the scholarship application process successful.
Perhaps the most complicated aspect of the college application process is financial aid. Jodi has experience in this area from working in a college’s financial aid department. She has advice related to the FAFSA, student loans, financing college and helping your student budget for college. If you have a financial aid question, Jodi knows the answer.
I love Ethan’s information because he knows what he is talking about and much of it is free to anyone who takes the time to browse his website. He offers samples of essays, tips for writing them, brainstorming ideas and more. He also provides personalized help with the essay and web training for students as well. You can’t go wrong by using Ethan’s expertise and he even has a “pay what you can afford” option for his seminars. What could be better?
If you have a learning disabled student or simply a student who can’t seem to focus on preparing for standardized tests, Jenn is the expert. Her unique method of coaching not only helps prepare your student for the test, but she helps them learn study habits to help with more than test prep. Jenn has the training and the experience to help your student do their best on any of the standardized tests. Plus, she’s a Duke alumini and proud of it!
Disclaimer: I don’t receive any fee or commission for recommending these experts. These are simply my own “go to” experts when I have a question or need to collaborate in any of these areas of college prep. I trust them implicitly and you can too!
When parents and students enter the college-bound process,
issues arise. It’s the inevitable clash of what parents think is best for their
kids, and what the kids want. Over the past 18 years the clashes have been over
such things as food, friends and entertainment choices. As college approaches,
the parent-student conflict intensifies.
Following are six areas that typically cause conflict along with some advice on how to handle it and work toward a compromise.
1. Junior college vs
4-year college
Parents often approach the college prep process from a
financial standpoint; students do. They make their decisions based on all types
of criteria that might not seem logical to parents: location, campus
activities, the look of the campus, friends, and even popularity of the college
with their peers. While those aren’t necessarily the best criteria, they should
play into their final decisions.
Here are just a few questions to consider:
Would a
4-year college be better for your student?
If your student is independent and knows
what he wants, a 4-year college might indeed be the best choice. Students who
are focused and are ready to pursue a specific major can benefit from attending
a 4-year college starting with their freshman year.
Could you
justify a 4-year college if it was more affordable?
Although junior college is more affordable
based on cost for credit hours, there are other factors to consider. For
instance, scholarships are more readily available to incoming freshmen than to
transfer students. Financial aid awards could be enough to offset the higher
tuition fees.
Does your student understand the benefits of junior college?
Perhaps the greatest benefit of attending a
junior college is getting the basics out of the way, especially if they are
unsure about a major. The financial benefits can be great as well, especially
if the student lives at home and works while attending.
Is it possible to reach a compromise?
Talk with your student and make an effort to
understand their reasons for wanting to attend a 4-year college. Be open to the
possibility. Explain your concerns about cost and going to college without a
decided major. A compromise might be for them to take courses over the summer
before college and get a few of the basics out of the way.
2. A profitable major
vs a major that embraces their passions
Parents think logically—they want their kids to graduate and
be able to secure a job that pays well and has future career advancement
possibilities. While there is nothing wrong with that line of thinking, their
kids want to study something that interests them.
Have you considered these realities?
Your
child would be more likely to embrace college if he has a passion for what he
is studying.
Statistics show that nearly half of all
college students drop out before receiving a degree. If your student is
pursuing something he is passionate about, the likelihood of him sticking it
out for 4 years is much higher than if he is pursuing a major that doesn’t
interest him simply because he will be more employable after graduation.
There are
lucrative majors that embrace all areas of interest and could be a good
compromise.
Investigate majors and research the ones
that have a good rate of return. Encourage your child to look at the degree
plans and perhaps add a minor to their degree embracing their passions. Some
colleges even allow students to create their own degree plans, choosing courses
that interest them and pertain to their areas of study.
Those who
are happiest in life have careers that they are passionate about.
Of course you want your child to be
successful and be able to make a living. But even though they get a job after
graduation that pays well, it doesn’t guarantee they will stick with it,
especially if it is not something they are passionate about.
Explaining
the consequences of choosing a major that’s unemployable might help your child
understand why you are concerned.
Graduating with debt and being unemployable
is a big concern for parents. But your student may not understand the
consequences of their decision. Its four years down the road and all they see
is dollar signs because they have a college degree. Encourage them to do some
research on the major they are considering and the expected salary and hiring
potential after graduation. It just might open their eyes and help them move
toward a more logical major.
3. Extracurricular
activities vs free time
Parents look at the big picture. Students focus on the “here
and now”. It’s hard for teenagers to comprehend the importance of proper
planning and preparation. They want to enjoy high school and not be pressed day
in and day out to focus on the future. It’s a delicate balance between applying
themselves, managing their time and enjoying their free time.
With a few simple tactics you and your teen should be able
to reach a compromise:
Set
aside time each day to work on college related activities.
Parents who are over achievers expect the
same from their student. But all work and no play makes for a very stressed out
teenager. Make a plan with them to spend x amount of time each day on
college-related activities. Once they complete their daily tasks, you will feel
better about letting them have some free time.
Encourage
your teen to focus on one activity throughout high school.
Many parents think that piling on the
extracurriculars during high school will impress college admissions officers.
But it’s not entirely true. Colleges are looking for focused applicants. They
are much more impressed with a student who has devoted four years in high
school to one particular activity than one who has piled them on just to
impress. Consistency is more appealing than numbers.
Allow
your teen time to have fun while helping them to find balance.
Teaching your teen to balance their time
will go a long way in helping them to manage their time in college. Students
who know how to keep a balance between studying and social activities do much
better in a college environment. Help them prioritize their activities.
Work with
them to establish goals and the steps needed to reach them.
Before they leave for college, students need
to know how to set goals and how to take steps to fulfill them. Help them make
a list of goals, both short term and long term, and encourage them to evaluate
those goals on a regular basis adjusting their time to stay on track.
4. Hand holding vs a
quest for independence
Perhaps the most difficult part of parenting a college-bound
teen is when to help and when to let them take the reins. It’s hard because for
the past 18 years we have been in control. Relinquishing control over such a
critical process in their life is harder than you might imagine. Looking at the
process from the college’s standpoint, the student needs to own the process.
They will be the one going to college and they should be the one making the
decisions. But you can certainly guide, encourage and offer help when asked.
Parents can help with
these tasks:
Staying organized-keeping track of deadlines and test dates.
Explaining the financial plan-discuss what you will pay and what you expect them to pay toward college.
Providing documents as needed, especially concerning financial aid.
Offering advice about college choices-offer advice but don’t dictate choices based on your preferences.
Accompanying them on college visits- listen to their likes and dislikes afterwards while staying objective.
Providing tutoring help if needed.
Help with studying for standardized tests.
Guide them with the final decision helping them take into account financial aid awards
Help with locating scholarships.
Parents should let
their student take the lead with these tasks:
Compiling a list of college choices
Talking during college visits and interviews
Communicating with colleges via email, social media, and telephone
Gathering letters of recommendation
Applying for scholarships
Completing the application
Completing the FAFSA
Making the final decision
5. Gap year vs going
straight to college
Parents cringe when their teens bring up the gap year. The
concept seems like procrastination and parents fear that once out of school,
the student may never go to college at all. Taking a year off to lie around and
do nothing is never an acceptable option. But taking a year off with a focused
purpose might be what’s best for your teen.
Before you put your foot down and forbid them to do this,
consider the reasons a gap year might be beneficial:
They
could use the time to pursue career interests.
A gap year could be the perfect time for
your student to learn more about specific careers that would help them choose a
major. Internships and apprenticeships during the year could provide them with
more information about the types of education needed and the specific degree
plan best suited to their chosen career.
They
could take the time to travel and work abroad.
Taking a year off to travel and work abroad
can be beneficial when they do attend college. Being exposed to different
cultures and getting to see the world helps them in their future careers. There
are many programs
that offer students the opportunity to work while abroad and some that offer
them the opportunity to volunteer for room and board. Scholarships are also
available as well.
They
could simply use the time to mature and gain focus.
Many high school graduates simply aren’t
mature and focused enough to attend college. Taking a year off means a year to
grow and mature. But it should never be used to sit around the house, play
video games, and hang out with friends. A gap year, to help with maturity and
focus, should always include a plan such as working part-time while taking a
few courses at the local community college.
Work full
time to save money for college.
For many students, working full time for a
year will help them save money for college expenses. It’s definitely something
to consider, especially if this money would be used to avoid taking out student
loans.
Parents should understand that college right after high school is not the best path for every teen. There are other alternatives, even ones that could include taking a course or two at a community college. The most important role for parents is to help their teenager find a path to success.
6. Considering alternatives to college
In a recent article I wrote for Collegiate Parent, Alternatives to Traditional College, I explained that not every student is meant to take the 4-year college path:
“When my son was a senior in high school, he had no idea what he wanted to do after graduation. College seemed out of reach and of very little interest since he coasted through high school on the bare minimum of effort. His involvement in NJROTC (Navy Junior Reserve Officers Training Corps) in high school led him toward the military option. When he left for boot camp after graduation, he was happy with his decision to avoid the traditional college route.
My daughter, on the other hand, knew she wanted to go to college and where she wanted to go. When she graduated and left for college in the fall, she was content with her decision and looked forward to four years of education.
Each of my children chose a different path. If I had forced my son to attend college it would have ended badly. If I had pressured my daughter to join the military, it would have been a disaster. But since I let them decide for themselves and didn’t push them in any one direction, they found the paths that were right for them.”
While a college degree is an impressive achievement and has undisputed value, it’s not for everyone. There are many meaningful paths after high school graduation that don’t include a traditional four-year college experience. If your student is vacillating about going to college, or is currently in college but regrets the decision, don’t panic. Your student may need to follow one of these alternative paths.
Parents and teens take on new roles during the college prep
process. The parents are attempting to let go and trust that the decisions made
will be the best ones. The teens are attempting to exert their independence and
make their own decisions. As senior year progresses, teens should move toward
independence and parents should relinquish control and trust their teens to act
as they have been taught over the last 18 years. It’s not easy, but the ideal
situation is parents guiding their teens to become independent, self-advocating
adults.
