Category Archives: empty nest

empty nest, Guest Posts

Offering Students a Taste of Home

When I come across a product that can help parents of college students, I’m happy to share it with my readers. For parents whose students will be heading off to college this fall, this product will you stay in touch and show “love” for your students.

Do you have a student entering college for the first time? How about a student returning to school?  Either way, they’ll be working hard and missing home.  For those that are leaving home for the first time, being away will be exciting and scary.  They will be trying to keep up with their work, while at the same time balancing a new social dynamic.  Thoughts of home will be a safe haven from the hectic schedule they will now be keeping.  For those students who are returning, they will be trying to maintain the school lifestyle they’ve become accustomed to.  However, they too will look to reminders of home for solace when things get a little too crazy.

While it’s common for parents to send their students care packages to help them stay fed, most of these care packages are filled with junk food.  Processed, unhealthy junk food.  Why not give them a true reminder of home each month by ordering them a subscription to A Taste of Home Cake Crate by Kentastic Cakes?  A Taste of Home Cake Crate is a monthly subscription of homemade, from scratch baked goods that are shipped directly to their door(or school Mailroom) each month.  All items within A Taste of Home Cake Crate are created from scratch using only fresh ingredients.  Nothing is processed and everything tastes AMAZING!!

A Taste of Home Cake Crate can be ordered by the month or in longer durations at a discounted price. We also offer our COLLEGE PLAN, which is specifically meant for your student and follows a typical school year.  With the COLLEGE PLAN, your student will receive a Cake Crate from September through November and from January through May.  They will NOT receive a Cake Crate in the month of December, as most students go home for the holidays.  Crates are shipped on or around the 20th of each month, with the exception of May.  May crates will be shipped the 1st week of the month to be sure your student receives it before leaving school for the summer.  We also offer a First Semester and Second Semester Plan.  A NUT FREE option is also available.

taste of home

Each month, your student will receive:

  • A Large Cake In A Cup (almost a full pound of moist cake and creamy buttercream frosting)
  • 4 Yummy Cake Pops – Flavors change each month.
  • 3-6 Fresh Baked Cookies(dependent on size and type)
  • A Mystery Item – Past Mystery Items have been French Macarons, Baklava, S’mores Bars and Chocolate Covered OREOS.

Kentastic Cakes has been creating beautiful, delicious custom cakes since 2012.  In addition to weddings, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs and birthdays, Kentastic Cakes has been enjoyed at high profile events, such as the Boston Strong Benefit Concert after the marathon bombings and the Vans Warped Tour 20th Anniversary BBQ.  Our cakes have been eaten by members of NKOTB, Aerosmith, celebrity chef Ming Tsai and more.  We’ve even made cake pops for legendary rock band, Motley Crue on their Farewell Tour.

A Taste of Home Cake Crate just celebrated its 1 Year Anniversary and is excited to send your hard working student awesome treats each month.  Please visit mycakecrate.com for more detailed information and pricing, as well as some FAQs at our College Plan page. 

Orders received by July 1, 2020 will save, as prices will increase on July 1.  Save even more by using Code: COLLEGE to save an additional 5% off your order.

As we always say, “Just because they can’t be at home, doesn’t mean you can’t send them A Taste of Home.”

PLEASE SHARE!

empty nest, move-in day, parenting

Leaving for College

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college

These have certainly been times of upheaval. Students were told to finish the year at home. Parents scrambled to help their teens adjust. Graduations were cancelled and even college plans are uncertain. But that doesn’t mean you can’t prepare for the day when they will leave for college.

It seems like only yesterday you are dropping your child off at their first class, and they are upset about leaving you. But now your child has decided to go off to college and will be leaving you without so much as a wave before long. But this is a wonderful testament to the job you have done as a parent up to now, and it’s hard to forget just how much you have done for them, and How they are so successful already from your support and their hard work. There are a few things you can do to make sure that you have prepared yourself for the big day, and that you don’t end up too upset when it happens. Our children taking the plunge and becoming independent is something special, and something to be proud of. So what can you do to prepare yourself for this transition?

Be proud

Be proud of your child’s achievements. Sharing this with the world and your family and friends is important, and showing your child that you are proud of them will do great things for their confidence. It isn’t always about academic achievements of course, but it does show a certain level of resilience and confidence, as well as a hard-working nature to gain a place in a college. Making sure that you don’t forget the role you have played in getting into this point, and congratulating yourself for the great support you have given your child along the way, is important. So never feel as though you are going too far by showing your pride in your children.

Prepare practicalities

Making sure that all of the practicalities such as student accommodation and the small details are covered when it comes to preparing your child for college, will give you a sense of confidence that everything is taken care of. You can, of course, continue to support your child once they have left for college, and many people do send care packages on a regular basis. But making sure that your child knows where they are going, what they are doing, and they have the support there if they need it, will help you relax and feel much better about the whole situation.

Be there

Being there when your child needs you, or even when they don’t, is all we can do. Sometimes they will act as though they don’t need any support whatsoever, and this may be true for many grown-up children spreading their wings, and if we have done our jobs correctly then they really should be quite independent anyway, but just being ready to take a call, or be there when they need you, it’s going to be the most important job you can do when your child is going off to college. Being there is our number one role once all the basics of parenting are done, we teach them everything we can to a certain age, And then must take a step back to just support when needed. You will find that even the most independent college children will feel as though they have got everything under control, but we can always be there ready to catch them if they fall.

empty nest, parenting

How Not To Stress When Your Child Goes To College

stress

Elation! That is the normal parental reaction when your child first received their acceptance email for college. Although, even while they are running around the house cheering, a parent’s thoughts can turn to worry. Of course, it is a parent’s lot to protect their child, and that does mean some worry along the way. However, being stressed before they have even left is only going to make it harder on everybody involved, including your kid. Luckily, there are some strategies you can use to keep parental stress to a minimum when your kids go off to college. Something that can ensure the whole process is easier on you as well as your child. Read on to find out what they are.

Be sure to shop around for student loans. 

Money is often a prime concern when it’s time to send your child off to study for a degree. It fact, it can be difficult for all parties involved if families cannot provide tuition and living costs needed. Of course, with many colleges charging anything up to $30,000 for a single year, few families have enough to cover the entire cost of their child’s education. 

There are a few ways to combat this, though. One, in particular, is shopping around for the best rate on student loans. In fact, it is entirely possible to use multiple loan providers for smaller amounts that total the sum needed. A strategy that can help to make a substantial saving overall. Something that, in turn, can relieve some of the stress on parents to provide all of the funding for their child’s higher education. 

Get them the safest accommodation. 

Next, you can really help to minimize any stress for yourself as a parent by making your child has the safest accommodation possible. After all, it is well known there is a culture of both theft and assault in such institutions. One that you will want to do your best to protect them from. 

Of course, when they have to share a room on campus, protecting them can be difficult. Although, finding your child a space to live like this student accommodation studio can help to solve this puzzle. The reason being that they can happily, and affordable live alone and have the security of CCTV and security lockable rooms as well. Something that will not only make them feel safer when they are home alone but can seriously reduce any worry for parents as well. 

Teach them to budget beforehand.

Of course, sourcing the money they need for college is only one half of the coin. In fact, if you want to reduce your stress as a parent in this situation, you must teach your child how to budget as well. 

After all, if they can manage their own finances at college competently, the likelihood of you being asking to bail them out economically becomes a lot less. Something that can significantly reduce the amount of worry and stress you experience while they are away studying for their degree.

empty nest, parenting, Uncategorized

5 Experiences to Have With Your Child Before College

before collegeYour child is finally leaving for college. It may seem just like the other day that you were seeing them off to their first day at school. Now, you are helping them pack away their things, so they can further their education and help change the world. This can be an emotional experience for both parent and child alike–even if the child won’t admit to it. To make sure that both parent and child make the most of their last few months living together, here are a few experiences that you can share before college.


1. Cooking Class

Whether you’re the cook of the family or not, teaching your child how to fend for themselves in the kitchen is crucial to their survival and health. New college students tend to gain some weight at the beginning of school until they find their feet. You can help them by either bringing them into the kitchen with you or signing up for cooking classes together. This can be a fun experience to share together. You can laugh, solve problems together, and forge fond memories that your child will always remember whenever they cook that dish. 

2. Take A Trip 

This should primarily be done one-on-one or with both parents involved. Whether it’s to their favorite place or somewhere no one has been before, take the moment to enjoy the time with them. You can impart a few lessons about living on their own along the way. Make sure you take some photos, too, to record this last great adventure as a shared family. You may want to choose a quieter setting, too, so you can have those important discussions about safety, health, and any words of wisdom you gleaned from your college days. 

3. Family And Friend Time 

While they may not believe it, your child is likely going to be saying goodbye to their friends, too. One excellent way to send them off and still have an experience with them is to host a dinner party or pot-luck with friends and family. Only those closest to your child and the closest family members should be invited. This get-together is to celebrate the triumph of your child as well as to send them off with love and wisdom. Just make sure that they don’t spend all of that time with friends. 

4. Give Them An Experience Down The Line 

Sometimes words can be hard to say face-to-face. A way around this and ensure that you’re still telling your child everything that is in your heart is by writing a letter. You can tuck this away into their luggage in a place that they’ll find the letter. Not only does this make for a final experience for them to share with you later when they’ve moved into their place, but it could help curb some of the inevitable homesickness. This letter can ensure your child how much you love them. 

5. Adulthood 

Because schools don’t normally equip children with what they need to know to survive in the day-to-day world, you’ll need to take those lessons upon yourself. It will be boring, but it’s the best thing you can do to make sure your child isn’t lost. Take the time to show them how to use an ATM machine, how to open a checking/savings account, how to pay taxes, basically, everything that an adult needs to know how to do. They’ll hate it, so did you at one point, but it will prepare them for the future. 

It may be hard to admit, but your child has grown. Making sure that your child knows they are loved and always welcome back home is the best thing you can do for them. By ensuring that they know there isn’t any shame in coming home, they can face the future with strength.

_____________________________

Today’s guest post is from Hayden Stewart, a contributing author and media specialist for MyKlovr. He regularly produces a variety of content centered around the transitional obstacles that come from students moving from high school to college life and how to succeed once there.

 

empty nest, graduation

From Acceptance to Graduation and Beyond

 

graduation

The acceptance letters have arrived and your student has made his final college decision. Check the box–going to college! It’s a tremendous accomplishment for both students and their parents. It’s not just your student who is graduating–you are too! You planned for years for your student to go to college and now he has been accepted. After years of planning it’s time to start a new chapter in your life as well.

First things first–do some celebrating. You’ve earned it. It was a difficult task to raise a successful high school graduate and soon-to-be college student. Allow yourself some time to bask in the accomplishment. This is also time to flood him with showers of praise and words of encouragement. He’s worked hard for this and he needs to hear that you are proud of him.

Once the celebration dust settles, to help you head into the next phase, we have some suggestions to assist with the transition.

Graduation Anxiety

Even though it’s a time of celebration, it is also a time of great anxiety; not only for the students who are anxious about their future, but for the parents as well. Students worry about being successful academically, moving away from the safety of home, and the difficult task of making new friends. Parents are riddled with questions and concerns, as any loving parent will be:

  • Have you done your job to prepare him for adulthood?
  • How will you occupy your time when he is away at college?
  • How will he survive without you?
  • How involved do you need to be when he’s in college?
  • How will you ever let go?

These questions and many more are going to be circling your mind over the next few months. However, it’s time for him to put into use the lessons you have taught him over the last 18 years–even if it means he will fail. Standing on the sidelines is difficult, but wipe away the tears and the fears and look ahead to an exciting era for both of you.

Bonding

Spend the next few months bonding with your college-bound teen: bonding, not smothering. Don’t expect him to want to be with you 24-7. He has friends he wants to spend time with as well, knowing he will be leaving them in the fall. Of course you want to spend time with him. After all, he’s leaving in a few months and you will miss him. But don’t cross the line and expect him to want what you want.

If you can’t camp out in his room or sit on the couch hugging him for hours, what can you do to facilitate the bonding? These suggestions might help:

  • Schedule a date night and do something fun together. Go to dinner and a movie. Play miniature golf. Attend a concert.
  • Take a family vacation together.
  • Go shopping for college and/or dorm supplies.
  • Visit the campus of the college he will be attending and take some side trips along the way.

Be creative and think of other ways you can forge time with him. It can even be something as simple as watching a television show with him or cooking together. Whatever you do, take advantage of every opportunity to bond. It will not only help you when he’s at college, it will provide him with memories to hold on to when (not if) he gets homesick at college.

Conversations

Before he leaves for college, you should have several conversations. Avoid lecturing; but discuss some issues he will be faced with at college. You may have discussed these before, but it’s time to reinforce them again:

  • Academics

Even though he’s an adult now (or so he thinks) you need to help him understand that you have certain expectations regarding academics. It’s going to require a commitment on his part to attend class, study, and turn in assignments when they are due. Discuss options for tutoring on campus and what to do if he begins to struggle.

  • Money

Budgeting in college for someone who has depended on parents for everything they need can be difficult. Sit down and help him make a budget and discuss what you will be providing as far as expenses and what you expect him to contribute. This will help minimize the phone calls panicking because he’s out of money.

  • Social activity

College provides multiple opportunities to socialize–some of it is good, some not so good. Talk about the drinking, drug and hooking up culture on campus which go hand-in-hand with college life. Discussing it ahead of time will help prepare him when he’s faced with decisions and also come up with a plan to have fun without harming himself or others.

  • Consequences

Make sure he understands the concept of consequences–to his actions, his choices, and his inaction. Remind him to think before he acts because most college decisions affect what happens in the future. For instance, a decision to skip class could result in a poor grade. Or a decision to drink and drive could not only put his life at risk, but if caught, a DUI could affect his ability to secure a job after graduation.

Packing

It’s a natural instinct for teens to want to take everything to college with them. Resist that urge. Dorm rooms are small. He will be sharing a space with another student who has brought things from home as well. As a general rule of thumb, here’s a short list of “do take and don’t take” items:

Do take

  • Hygiene items (including flip flops for shower)
  • Ear plugs (help with concentration and sleeping)
  • Tech items (plugs, power strips, laptop, desktop, usb drives, portable hard drive)
  • Maintenance items (duct tape, hammer, screwdriver, etc.)
  • Office supplies (stapler, paper, pens and pencils)
  • Storage containers (underbed storage works best)
  • Bedding (sheets, blanket, pillows and bed risers)
  • Headphones

Don’t take

  • Huge stereo and speakers
  • Every book and DVD you own
  • Candles
  • High school memorabilia
  • An overabundance of personal items-i.e your entire stuffed animal collection

Talk with the roommate about what he is bringing and try not to duplicate. Decide who is bringing the television, the microwave and the mini-fridge–staples in any dorm room. As your and your teen are making a list of items, remember that less is more in a college dorm room.

Orientation

Most colleges have instituted parent orientation to go along with the traditional student orientation. Parent orientation can provide parents with information about student life, guidance about dealing with college-related issues, and help dealing with separation anxiety. Additionally, you will be able to participate in workshops, take a campus tour and listen to speeches about common parent issues conducted by faculty and staff.

The BostonGlobe reports that most parents found the events to be more than worthwhile:

Colleges around the country are holding orientations for families of incoming freshmen. But these are not simple “Meet the Dean” receptions held the day before school starts. These are elaborate two- and three-day events, often held on midsummer weekdays. “What I’ve heard across the country from parents is that these events are marked on their calendar with a big red heart,” said Natalie Caine, who counsels parents through her business, Empty Nest Support Services in Los Angeles.They say, ‘I need to go. I need to see what it’s like. I want to hear what they have to offer, what the security system is like, who’s the contact person if there’s a problem.’

Use the next few months to prepare yourself and your teen for the upcoming college move-in day. If you’re well-prepared, it will be easier for both you and your student. In the meantime, enjoy your summer and use every opportunity to make some memories!

empty nest, mom approved tips, parenting

A Day in the Life of a College Mom

 

college momIt’s happening. The dreaded day has arrived and you have dropped off your student at college. The tears have flowed, and you made the long drive home in turmoil. But it didn’t end there, you got home and you walked by her room. The floodgates opened again. I recently had a conversation with my brother and sister-in-law the other day about dropping their daughter off at college. They echoed all the above sentiments and assured me it was the hardest thing they had ever done. I too have been there as well.

But with all the emotions, heartbreak, empty nest feelings, grief and general frustration that took place on that day, a new day will break and we all begin our new life—hers in college, and yours at home missing her. When the dust settles, what can you expect? What is a typical day like in the life of a college mom?

Expect to hear from her soon

Either before you get home or in the next few days you will either get a text, a tweet, or a phone call from her. Mine needed some personal information, some medical information and some banking information. At the end of the call, she said, “Thanks Mom, I knew you could help me.” Those few simple words let me know she still needed me. It doesn’t matter how independent you think she is, she’s going to need you; and, she’s going to reach out for help.

Expect some phone calls feigning homesickness

It’s going to happen sooner or later: your college student will get homesick. The moment you accept the inevitable, the better equipped you will be to handle it. The best response is to listen. The worst response is to rescue her. Harlan Cohen, author of The Naked Roommate, says, “giving a homesick kid more home is like giving someone on a diet chocolate cake and a pint of ice cream.” The solution to homesickness is to create a home at college. Encourage her to get involved socially. Many parents have found this to be the perfect time for a care package from home.

Expect periods of little communication

Believe it or not, this is a good sign. It means your student is getting involved, making new friends, and studying. She has little time to phone home or stay in constant communication with her parents. It’s not personal. It’s a sign she is adjusting to college life and doesn’t need to connect with home as often as she did in the first few weeks.

Expect sickness caused from stress and fatigue

The first time your college student gets sick (and she will get sick), she will call you. Every college student needs their mommy when they get sick. The stress, the sleepless nights, and the poor eating habits will perpetuate the sickness. Send a care package of your best “comfort” items and encourage her to get some rest. The first sickness will be the worst. After that, she will know how to treat them herself.

Expect roommate drama

I don’t care how well the roommates get along in the beginning, there is going to be roommate drama. Personalities will clash, boyfriends/girlfriends will enter in to the drama, and bad habits will cause problems. Encourage your student to resolve these conflicts on her own and seek help if things continue to escalate—that’s what RAs are there for.

Expect the unexpected

No matter how much you plan and think you’re prepared for everything, expect the unexpected. It may come in the form of her wanting to transfer, or wanting to do a 360 on her major. She may announce that she has failed a class (without any notice), or that she is completely out of money and needs your help. Whatever the circumstance, she will ask for your advice and expect, as she did in the past, that you will know what she should do. Don’t panic, just listen. Offer advice. Then let her solve the problem herself.

Be comforted knowing that she will always be your little girl and she will always need her mommy. The same goes for sons—it doesn’t matter how old they get, they will come running to you for comfort and advice.

college guidance, college planning, empty nest, parenting

Top 5 college adjustment tips for parents

empty nest

 

Sending your kids off to college will bring changes into your life. Not only will you have to learn to deal with concerns about health and safety once they’re out of your sight, but you’ll also have the loneliness of an empty nest to contend with. And then, of course, you’ll likely go through an adjustment period with finances. Plus, you’ll have to give up on the notion that your rules and advice carry the ability to influence your kids from afar. In short, it is a transitional period not only for the kids going off to college, but also for the parents left behind, forced to find a new way to live now that they no longer have the immediate demands of parenthood filling their every waking moment.

Here are just a few tips for parents that should help you to navigate this trying time in your life.

  1. Get a hobby. Now that the kids are off to college and intent on living their own lives, you may find yourself with a lot of free time on your hands. While most people would revel in this break from responsibility, the fact that your children are gone could have you moping around the house and missing the pitter patter of little feet (or the blaring music and slamming doors of your teens). A mourning period may be necessary, but there’s no need to prolong the suffering. Spend a few days watching TV and eating comfort food and then find a new way to spend your time. You might take a cooking class, join a gym, or take up gardening. Or you could start a book or movie club with friends. There are a myriad of ways to entertain yourself when you don’t have the pressing concerns of kids taking up all your free time.
  2. Take a trip. Parents often have a hard time figuring out where their relationship will go now that their focus isn’t mainly on the kids. Luckily, this is an excellent opportunity for you to get to know each other again, exploring interests that have long been pushed aside in favor of caring for children. Book a cruise, a weekend camping trip, or a Grand Tour of Europe and use that time to fall in love with your spouse all over again.
  3. Re-budget. Providing for higher education can be quite a balancing act when it comes to your finances. On the one hand, costs may go up significantly thanks to the exorbitant price of tuition, books, and living expenses. On the other hand, parents that plan ahead could have a college fund in place to cover these costs. And if students obtain scholarships, loans, or grants, not to mention paying a portion of their own way by working part-time, you may find yourself with some extra cash on hand. Either way, now is a good time to reevaluate your household budget in order to adjust it accordingly.
  4. Set some ground rules. You won’t have much control over your kids once they’re on campus, but you can still set a few ground rules. For one thing, if you provide a credit card it should be limited to use for school supplies and meals, for example (or else it gets cancelled). And you might want to let your students know that failing to attend class or achieve passing grades, in essence wasting your money, will lead to them getting cut off financially.
  5. Loose the reins. Obviously you’re not going to hire a security company in London or Los Angeles to follow your kids around campus. But if you’re calling them daily and trying to exert undue influence over every decision (from the majors they choose to the food they eat) it’s time to take a step back. If you’ve done a good job raising your kids you have to trust that they have the knowledge and skills to care for themselves and make good decisions. But if you insist on insinuating yourself into their lives you’re only going to alienate them, or worse, destroy their self-confidence and turn them into co-dependents for life. So loose the reins and let them run.

 

empty nest, parenting

Handling the “empty nest” when your student is in college

images-1It probably seems like yesterday that you were bringing your baby boy or girl home from the hospital and now they are preparing to go away for college. Although you always knew that this day would come and you are so proud of their accomplishments thus far, if you are really honest with yourself, there is a part of you that is also dreading it. Your child is leaving home and four years of college will result in them returning to you as an adult with their own home, career and new way of life.

For this reason, there’s a pretty good chance that you will experience some separation anxiety when your child leaves the nest–often called “empty nest” syndrome. It’s normal for most parents and so while it’s nothing to panic over (or feel embarrassed about), we do have some tips that will help you to cope with the transition:

Accept it. Sometimes, the hardest part of change is simply accepting it. The moment that you make the decision to embrace this new season as a part of the parenting process, it will help you to feel calmer so that you can make the necessary adjustments.

Make plans. It is a wise person who once said that when you lose something, you need to quickly replace the void. When it comes to your child, you will always have them as a part of your life, but the time that was once devoted to their needs, because they will be at school, is now freed up. Therefore, use this as an opportunity to join an exercise class, take up a new hobby or make plans with your friends. Staring at your phone, waiting on your child to call or text you is only going to make things that much more difficult. Use it to contact some girlfriends, instead.

Start journaling. There will be some emotions that you have that will be either too hard to explain to others or too private to share. A great way to release them is by picking up a journal. One that can help you to center your focus on the “positives” about this new chapter of your life is a gratitude journal.

Schedule dates with your child. Whether your child is away from home enrolled at Ohio University, Vanderbilt University or NYU, or closer to home at a state college, there are going to be scheduled breaks throughout the semester in which they will be returning home. As a way to give you something to look forward to, discuss with them the possibility of going on a couple of dates with you. That way, you can get in some much-needed quality time.

Pat yourself on the back. When a child goes away to college, sometimes so much focus is on how hard it is emotionally that parents forget that it’s a major achievement that they can be proud of. Not only did their child graduate from high school, but they did well enough to be accepted into a college that can prepare them for their career. So, as you’re wiping away some of the tears that will come from missing them, make sure to pat yourself on the back for a job well done too.

Parenting is loaded with landmarks and accomplishments: their first step, their first word, their first day of school, and their high school graduation. Look at college as another of those landmarks and it will help you see there are always more to follow.