All posts by Suzanne Shaffer

book reviews, college planning, parenting

“College Bound and Gagged” left me ROFLMAO

 

I know text speak is not appropriate blogging title content, but there really is no other way to describe the experience I had reading Dr. Nancy Berk’s book, College Bound and Gagged. Nancy takes the everyday aspects of the college admissions process and puts them into terms that parents can easily understand and relate to by using humor. And if that’s not enough, she sprinkles some of the best college admissions advice along the way by tapping into her own personal experiences and her network of college experts that she utilizes throughout the book.

What did I LOVE about Nancy’s book? She allowed the reader to go inside her own college admissions process with her son and experience all the trepidation and angst that goes along with it. She adds humor by describing parent archetypes so you can avoid those types of behaviors during the process. Her “5 Tips” sprinkled throughout the book simplify each step in the process and her “Top Tips” from college experts put you inside the heads of those who are “in the know” about college admissions.

Quite honestly, every page of her book had me laughing and saying, “Man oh man, do I remember that statement coming out of my daughter’s mouth!” Then Nancy helps you put it all into perspective and get you to the other side of the drama giving you insight into the perfect mental and emotional response.

Here’s an excerpt from her book of a conversation between Nancy (denoted as “me”) and her son (denoted as “teen”) related to college selection:

Me: What about Texas?

Teen: I don’t think I can go anywhere where they speak with southern accents.

Me: But you have a Pittsburgh accent. This really isn’t the place to start throwing stones.

Me: (after deep breath) What about Ohio? There are so many great schools in Ohio.

Teen: I’m not going anywhere that borders our state.

Me: (rough calculations look like he’s eliminated five additional states and Ontario; I am determined to figure this out) And why is that?

Teen: It just doesn’t feel right.

Or this conversation related to college visits:

Son: I’ve seen enough, let’s go.

Parent: But we haven’t even parked the car yet.

Son: You don’t think I can tell already? I DON’T like it here.

Parent: But we’re finally here. Let’s get out and look around.

Son: Nope. You go ahead if you want to. I’m just gonna wait here.

Zing! Every parent can relate to these types of conversations from their college-bound teens and Nancy knows how to get you through them with a little humor and a dose of common sense coping tactics.

After reading this review, I know that you MUST have your own copy and here’s your chance to win one. Nancy has donated a copy for me to give away to one parent and here’s what you will need to do to be eligible for the drawing:

  1. Leave a comment here with your name and email address; then…
  2. Go to my Facebook Fan page and leave a comment on my wall telling me why you NEED Nancy’s book.

On February 8th, one lucky parent will win a copy of College Bound and Gagged to peruse its content and learn all they need to know about surviving the college admissions process.

Good luck!

 

college planning, Guest Posts

Coping with your child’s college choices

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Like many teenagers, I too had to deal with defending the colleges I wanted to apply to until I was blue in the face. My dad? Every school I thought would be a good fit for me he deemed too expensive, too dangerous (I wanted to be in a city), or too far away and no amount of arguing could convince him otherwise.

While I know he had my best interest in mind, it made my college application process much more stressful than it should have been. Fortunately things worked out in the end – I went to my dream school, graduated with honors, and have a pretty fantastic career so far.

My dad? It took him awhile to come to the realization that I probably would not have gotten to where I am today if I didn’t go to a college I was 100% behind. However getting to that point was not easy, and I couldn’t help but think that much of the tension could have been eliminated if we were better at communicating with each other.

So let’s say you’re in my dad’s shoes 6 years ago and you absolutely can’t fathom your child going to any of the colleges they have in mind. What should you do to avoid a whole mess of unnecessary drama? Here are some suggestions:

1.  Don’t be a victim to college rankings and brand appeal.

Everyone knows about the various “best college” rankings that come out every year. It’s easy for parents (and students) to get caught up in the craze of getting into the highest ranking, most-selective schools. But guess what? The “best college” according to whatever magazine might not be the best college for your child.

There are over 2,000 four-year colleges in the US alone and there are plenty of amazing lesser-known schools out there that don’t make the Top 100 for any given year. Use college match tools to uncover the hidden gems that might be a good fit and read up on college reviews to see if current students and alumni believe if the school is worth the money.

2.  Before you express your disagreement, ask your child “Why?”

Understanding your child’s reasons for choosing schools to apply to is absolutely essential to being a supportive parent in the applications process. For me, I only focused my search on schools with strong internship programs and those who offered the niche major I wanted. Size was also another important factor – I didn’t want to be lost in a sea of 100+ undergrads in every class.

When I explained this to my parents they had a much easier time digesting which schools were going to be better for me than others – even if they weren’t completely in love with them.

3.  Understand that picking a college is the first “grown up” decision many teenagers will have to make. 

Badgering your child into picking the college that you would want to go to is a surefire way of alienating them and hurting your relationship. For 18 years you’ve helped your child make decisions on everything from which clothes they should wear, which classes to take, what friends they can hang out with, etc. Now it’s time to let them taste a little bit of independence and plan for their future. This isn’t to say that you should remove yourself from the process completely – it’s important for you to guide your child to the places where they can find answers if they’re having trouble.

4. Be careful how you dish out your advice.  

It’s better to ask questions that make them think about consequences than to accuse them of being flat out wrong. For instance, if you aren’t a fan of your child applying to schools that are all across the country, ask them how they will plan to relocate, how often they’ll visit and call, and what’s their plan incase an emergency happens and you’re unable to reach them.  Experiencing sticker shock at some of their more expensive college choices? Ask them if they’ve looked up any information about applying for financial aid.

Having them find answers to these very practical questions before making a final decision on a college will help guide them into making more informed, responsible decisions. Even better? It will make for a more peaceful college search experience for you and your college-student-to-be.

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Today’s guest post is by Sam Coren, Content Manager for StudentAdvisor.com, a Washington Post education site for college reviews and free resources on “all things college.” You can read more of her insights about the college search process on the StudentAdvisor blog.

college planning, infographics

The path to your dream college

Every student who aspires to attend college has a dream college. This infographic lines up clearly the steps every student should take to position themselves for college acceptance. Just remember that a dream college should be the college that fits the student. For some students, the best online college could be their dream college; just as their parents’ alma mater could be for another. If you follow these steps, once you find that perfect fit college, then it should be the college of your dreams.

 

Getting Into the College of Your Dreams

college majors, college planning, Guest Posts

Embracing Indecision

The time has come at last for your kids to fly the coop and head off to college. It’s a bittersweet time, but likely not one for which you’re unprepared. If you’re like most parents with children in their final years of high school, you’ve spent hours upon hours advising and encouraging them (to put it mildly) to make decisions about college enrollment, degree plans, class schedules, and so on. Indeed, college counselors and representatives unilaterally recommend a proactive approach to college admissions, so it’s no wonder that parents begin talking to their children about it at such an early age. If you want your child to have a successful career (and by extension a fruitful life) then you must prepare them for the challenges and huge decisions faced on a college campus.

But there’s another side to college preparation, one that receives little attention from parents and their children. Parents who constantly encourage their children to map out the general layout of their forthcoming college experience often (by accident) beget a sense of anxiety in them. College bound students too often worry over the implications of their school and class choices on future careers at the expense of their own personal college experience. In all the time spent deciding a “perfect” degree program, parents risk compromising their children’s formative years in academia. Here are some reassuring words for your stressed out college bound kids who might feel lost amidst one of the most important times of their lives.

They’re not alone

If your kid expresses exasperation at the prospect of choosing and sticking to a single major as an undergraduate, they’re not alone. In 2005 MSNBC ran a story that confirmed the frequency which with college undergraduates switched their areas of study. The story mentions a study that claims at least half of college students entering college haven’t chosen a major, and even more students change their major time and time again over the course of their undergraduate experience. The reason for the constant shifts in undergraduate majors is pretty clear: the plurality of courses offered by most colleges can intrigue any student unsure of their degree path.

Most students have few degree choices in mind when they enter college. Usually the most general majors—English, government, biology, engineering, and so on—dominate their list of potential majors. But then they enter colleges that offer completely novel classes that have the power to completely reshape the way a student shapes their undergraduate career. A biology student may become smitten by a class in modern feminist poetry, or a government major completely fascinated by the nuances of organic chemistry.

Indecision is normal

It’s critically important that students take courses outside their comfort zone. To use the above example, the biology student would never have discovered their hidden passion for poetry had they strictly stuck to courses in sciences. This person found their course by branching out from their previously assumed collegiate path. Admittedly, it’s easier said than done to encourage students to take random classes in the hopes that they happen upon an intellectually stimulating subject. Many college freshmen feel they’re in trouble if they haven’t planned their full course load in its entirety. They’re told that the road to collegiate successes is paved with decisive class choices, planning out not only the proper courses, but the right teachers and class schedules.

What students rarely hear are the success stories promulgated by indecision and a willingness to try something new. Just because a student has planned to become a chemical engineering major two years before attending college doesn’t mean that they’ll enjoy the major. So tell your kids to keep an open mind for potential degree focuses. They might come from the least expected sources.

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This is a guest post by Kimberly Wilson. Kimberly is from accredited online colleges, she writes on topics including career, education, student life, college life, home improvement, time management etc.

financial aid, infographics

College Sticker Price

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Most parents are shocked when I tell them to ignore the college sticker price printed in the book, catalog, or college info site. Why do they “say” it costs X amount of dollars and not charge what the printed price states? Because while most can’t pay the price, some can. It’s the same with any commodity: houses, cars, airfare, vacations, and more. They post a price because many will pay that price; others who can’t will search for the bargain. Enter the college admissions process with the mind of a bargain hunter and you’ll be pleasantly surprised what you will pay.

Following is an infographic that makes it easy to comprehend:

Tuition Prices
Created by: Online University

admissions, college guidance, Guest Posts

Inside the mind of an admissions counselor

Getting inside the mind of an admissions counselor gives parents and students valuable information and insight. Parliament Tutors is conducting interviews with admissions counselors all across the country and they asked me to post one of them on my blog. I was happy to oblige because the answers to their questions give applicants an idea of what they consider to be important in the college application process.

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A special thanks to Jordan Hassell for participating in our Admissions Spotlight Series.  Mrs. Hassell is an admissions officer at Berry College in Rome, Georgia.  Joseph Fernandez from Parliament Tutors conducted this interview.


As an Admissions Counselor, what are your day-to-day responsibilities?

An Admissions Counselor works with prospective students from the time they first become interested in Berry College until they begin classes as a new student.  We attend college fairs and visit high schools to share information about Berry. We meet with students when they visit campus, we correspond with them throughout the admissions and financial aid processes and we read their applications to make recommendations on admission decisions.
What do you consider the most significant parts of an application, the parts which applicants should prepare the most carefully? 

At Berry, we are mostly concerned with a student’s academic record. Students should pay careful attention to their high school curriculum choices, maintain a strong GPA in core classes and maximize their SAT/ACT scores.

What common pitfalls should applicants be careful to avoid?

Avoid being lazy through the application process. Be sure to complete all required sections of the application, submit a thoughtful essay, use proper grammar and punctuation instead of text lingo and pay attention to deadlines.

Are there any myths about the application process which you would like to dispel?

While we do look for active and well-rounded students, extracurricular activities and multiple recommendation letters do not allow us to overlook deficiencies in the academic record.

What advice would you give to an applicant with below-average test scores but significant work experience?

Maximize your test scores by taking more than one exam. Take advantage of free test prep resources through your school or public library. Use your resume and essay to highlight how you are prepared for college coursework.

What do you look for in a letter of recommendation?

We like to see candid details about a student’s preparation for success in college. We also verify a student’s academic and disciplinary records.

How much faith do you have in the ability of the SAT or ACT to predict success in college?

While scores are not the only factor considered, combined with GPA and rigor of curriculum, exam scores do serve as an indicator of potential success in college coursework.

Suppose an applicant has little or no experience relevant to your program, but has significant experience in other fields.  What can that applicant do to distinguish himself or herself as a good candidate for your program?

Complete a solid high school curriculum, earn strong grades and maximize SAT/ACT scores by taking more than one exam. Share details in your college essay that may help us understand how your interests and experience will contribute to our college community.

This is interview was conducted by Joseph Fernandez, an SAT Tutor from Parliament Tutors — an Houston Tutoringcompany.

college planning, financial aid

10 Good reasons to file the FAFSA

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Parents of college-bound teens look forward to filing the FAFSA as much as they look forward to filing their income taxes. It’s a federal form and all federal forms aren’t exactly user friendly. Many parents are so intimidated by the form that they choose not to file, telling themselves that their student wouldn’t qualify for aid anyway because they make too much. But don’t fall into that trap.

Here are 10 good reasons to file the FAFSA:

1. College is expensive

Even if you’re rich and can afford to pay for your child’s education, it’s expensive. Why would you pass up an opportunity to help with some of the cost?

2. It’s FREE

That’s right. It’s completely free to complete the FAFSA. You’ll spend some of your time completing the FAFSA and you could get thousands of dollars of financial aid in return. So one could say, it’s BEYOND free–they pay you!

3. Getting help is easy and FREE

If you get stumped, help is available using the online help tool or by submitting a question at the FAFSA web site or calling the help number listed on the site. Many schools even host a FAFSA day where they offer help to parents and students on how to complete the free form.

4. FREE money could be waiting for you

According to a recent Reuters article, about 1.8 million lower income undergraduates who might have qualified for aid neglected to file the FAFSA and missed out on financial aid. No matter what your income level, you should file the FAFSA because there is more money out there to be awarded than just need-based aid.

5. Federal money

The federal government provides over $80 billion dollars in grants, loans and work-study programs every year. The only way to get pell grants, perkins loans, stafford loans and other federal aid is by submitting the FAFSA. Federal loans offer the best interest rates and repayment terms for student borrowers and are superior to private student loans.

6. State money

FAFSA is the gatekeeper for state financial aid programs. Each state’s programs are different but they all require the FAFSA to distribute the funds. Check with your state’s higher education agency for deadlines and requirements. In some states the financial eligibility ceilings are much higher.

7. School money

Colleges and private scholarship sponsors offer billions of dollars in financial aid. Even if you don’t have financial need, you may be eligible for these awards. Some school and private scholarship programs are specifically designed for students who were rejected by federal financial aid. Some schools will not award merit aid unless you complete the FAFSA.

8. You’re divorced

The FAFSA only asks about the income and assets of the custodial parent. For financial aid purposes, the custodial parent is the one who has cared for the student for the majority of 2011. If the custodial parent earns a modest income, a student could qualify for financial aid.

9. You have two or more children in college

With two in college, your expected family contribution (what the parents can afford to pay) drops by 50%. Even if you didn’t get financial aid with the first, file the FAFSA because having a second child in college can net you some financial aid.

10. You really don’t have a choice

Look at it this way: FAFSA is the ONLY way to be considered for federal, state and private financial aid. Even if you don’t NEED the aid you still want to get it. Who doesn’t want FREE money?

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For a different perspective, visit my colleague Wendy David-Gaines’ blog (POCSMom) for 10 Reasons NOT to file a FAFSA.

Wendy was a (POCSmom) Parent of a College Student and was once a pre-POCSmom as well. She likes to help parents de-stress during the college process and has written a book of stories and anecdotes to help parents see the lighter side of college.

college planning, social networks, Uncategorized

12 College Experts I would like to meet in 2012

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This past year I have met and established some wonderful friendships and collaborations on Twitter. I had the privilege of meeting Jenn Cohen of Sheldon Word Nerd this past summer. I thought it might be fun to list the college experts who I would love to meet IRL (in real life) in 2012. If you aren’t following them already, I’ve included the links so you can!

Akil Bello-This guy cracks me up and is the genuine article. His SAT advice is spot on and he’s quite a wordsmith. I would love to sit down with him and discuss the merits of Manilow’s music (and how he feels about internet shysters trying to rob parents of their hard-earned money).

Kelly Queijo-Kelly is my hero because she walked the 30 mile Komen walk for me and my mom. Not to mention she hosts #campuschat AND has the best go-to site for college visit information. She and I have been Twitter friends since her site launched.

Nancy Berk-Nancy is every parent’s friend and quite the comedian. Her book, “College Bound and Gagged” left me rolling on the floor laughing. I would love to be a guest on “Whine at 9”!

Eric Clark-Eric, my man. A great dad and an educator with a vision to help tutor EVERY student across the country with his Quincy Tutoring network. He’s been one of my biggest supporters and I him.

Wendy David-Gaines-The ultimate POCSMom and a colleague. She approaches the college journey with humor and ideas to reduce the stress while helping parents with support and encouragement throughout the journey.

Monica Matthews-Monica is a parent too but an absolute EXPERT on college scholarships. I wish I would have had her book when my kids went to college. She rocks helping parents and students find and apply for scholarships.

Elizabeth King-Elizabeth writes the most pithy articles about test prep and the value of education. She’s an all star in my book!

Paul Hemphill-My Boston buddy and good friend. Paul and I believe that parents are the customers and colleges should rise up and take notice! Plus, he’s the best at marketing students for college. He gets an A+++ for being a parent advocate.

Jane Kulow-Jane is on the college journey with her kids and visiting colleges as we speak. Her blog ROCKS for parents who are going through the process because you get a real-time parent’s perspective.

Jeff Sheely-Jeff’s common sense approach to financing a college education made me a fan from the first time I met him on Twitter. His College Money blog gives parents and students the BEST advice about debt, student loans and financing a college education.

Gil Rogers-Gil is the first admissions officer I met on Twitter and he helped me answer many a parent’s question. Now he works for Zinch (my fav college related company) and his stellar social media savvy makes him an all-around guru.

Fuji Fulgueras-Apart from teasing me about my Manilow fandom, Fuji is a college admissions counselor and a respected expert. He can answer any questions about college admissions and is always helpful to parents when asked.

admissions, parenting

What do you do when a college rejects your student?

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Colleges have been responding to the early decision/early action applications and students across the country have received those long awaited acceptance/rejection letters these past few weeks. Hip hip hoorays are easy to handle and a welcome addition to the holidays. Feelings of rejection can cloud the family’s holiday spirit and make it difficult to celebrate while facing the disappointment.

What do you do when that ill-fated letter arrives? How do you handle your feelings? How do you handle your student’s feelings? How to turn lemons into lemonade?

When the letter arrives

When the letter arrives and is opened you may want to try and spin it into a positive. Resist that temptation. It’s upsetting to both you and your student. Allow some time to display the emotions related to the disappointment and the feelings of rejection. It’s only natural to feel them and it certainly hasn’t been the first or the last time your student will be disappointed.

Your feelings

Parents take these letters personally. How dare they reject MY child! Our disappointment can often overshadow the feelings our student has. Be careful and don’t project your disappointment on to your student. He/she feels bad enough already; the last thing they need to feel is that they disappointed their parents by not getting accepted.

Your student’s feelings

Every student reacts differently. Some might shrug it off (to your surprise) and others might see this as the end of their world as they know it. The hardest part of this whole college process is dealing with disappointment and rejection. All the truisms in the world won’t help at this moment. Hold them, hug them, and let them know that you feel their pain. Don’t spout off truisms like “it will be ok” or “you don’t want to go there if they don’t want you.” Your student needs the time to deal with their disappointment and move on.

Embrace the life lesson

Once the time has passed and your student is able to be objective, use this as a life lesson. Remind them that there is a place for them and that there is a college where they will feel wanted and accepted. Point out that life is filled with disappointments that often turn into opportunities and you never know what lies ahead on the path you might not have originally chosen.

Every child faces disappointment and rejection throughout their life and a parent’s goal should be to help them face those hurtful times with love and perspective.