All posts by Suzanne Shaffer

organization

Organization starts with a clean room

 

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Studies show that a clean room can help improve grades. The psychology theories behind this fall under the basic idea that a clutter free environment leads to a clear mind. A clearer mind will aide in retention and concentration while reducing distractions. Organization skills can help ensure that it is easier for kids to keep their room clean. One of the most important elements is to not let the clutter and mess to get out of control. Once things get out of control, it makes cleaning it up a bigger and more daunting task.  Getting an organized routine will help kids while in school, but also give them a great foundation for the rest of their lives, especially when they begin the college prep process.

A+ for Organization

For many kids, making a schedule for a cleaning routine can really help keep their room neat and organized. Breaking tasks down into small, easy projects makes cleaning easier for students with short attentions spans and busy schedules. We have 5 easy ways (other than nagging) to help your kids use organization and cleaning and get better studying habits.

5 Tips for Organizing and Keeping Rooms Clean for Studying Success

  1. Make a list or schedule of what to clean when. Keep tasks short so kids do not get overwhelmed with cleaning chores. Keep a calendar of daily and weekly chores that only take a few minutes and will not be a big burden. Something as simple as emptying the garbage can each night can help reduce clutter and keep chores quick and easy.
  2. Reduce room clutter as much as possible. Only keep what you need in your room. Put seasonal items and anything not being used regularly in storage. Clutter causes confusion and stress!
  3. Utilize space saving furniture and tricks wherever possible. Loft beds and under bed storage create a big space savings, as do ottomans with storage and vacuum bags.
  4. Recycle papers you no longer need on a regular basis. Do not keep papers around that you do not need. Scan them if they need to be archived and save them on your computer. This reduces the need to file.
  5. Do not let your room get messy. Fighting a mess is never a winning battle. The first and last step in keeping things organized is making sure that it never gets out of control.

Keeping clutter free and organized will help the school year fly by. The reduced stress that is a result of an organized room will help students get through their school year with success and great grades.  It will also help students as they proceed on to college. Get that Diploma Display ready!

 

mom approved tips, Uncategorized

Mom-Approved Tips: Unsolicited Advice

 

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unsolicited adviceEllen Snortland, author and Huff Post blogger states it simply in an article about unsolicited advice:

What makes these mediocre meddlers, these know-nothing-nattering-nabobs of the obvious, these kings and queens of blah, blah, blah, think that anyone really wants or needs their cheap irksome advice? Do I have “Please give me your most recent lamebrained theory on what I should do” tattooed on my forehead?

You know who they are: parents who want to give you all kinds advice about which college your student should attend and what they need to do to go to Harvard. There’s nothing wrong with asking other parents who have been through the college process for help. If you’re a parent of a college-bound teen you’ve most likely encountered people like this. Everyone has a story and a complaint. Some are useful and valid; most are not. The key is asking–and trusting the advice you get.

Here’s a sample conversation between parents:

Parent 1: If you want your kid to be successful after graduation, they have to go to an Ivy League college.

Parent 2: I’ve heard the Ivies aren’t all that great.

Parent 3: Someone told me that it’s impossible to get into the Ivies if your student doesn’t have a perfect SAT score.

Parent 4: If you have a B student, their options are limited to state universities or community college.

If you analyze each of these parents’ advice, there is some truth in each of them. But without reputable advice they might lead their students in the wrong direction.

Should you listen to unsolicited advice?

I heard a college counselor talk about a popular college forum recently reminding parents that you can’t trust these anonymous comments. Parents have no way of checking the accuracy of the posts or the validity of the information on these sites. That’s not to say all of this advice is bad; but you should always verify the information with the experts. What’s good for one student, is not necessary the best path for yours. Be selective and investigative about all the advice you will most assuredly receive.

Is all college advice accurate?

No. Just like not everything you read on the internet is true. I love that insurance commercial that is driving the point that not everything you read online is true. Even if it’s posted in a college parent forum it might not be accurate. Sift through the useful information and throw out the babble. Before you take it as gospel, verify it with other sources.

Where can I get the best advice?

Common sense says you should look for advice from the experts. Who are these experts? These are college professionals and parent advocates whose advice and instruction have been endorsed by others in the field of college prep. Any advice devoid of these endorsements is advice you should take with the grain of salt.

It’s your responsibility as a parent college coach to sift through all of this unsolicited advice and verify the accuracy of all of it. Trust the experts who have been endorsed by other experts; if you do this the college admissions process will be more effective and less stressful.

 

Scholarship Friday, scholarships

Scholarships Friday: Ask an Expert

 

My commitment has always been to provide parents with the best information available to help with the college process. I recently listened toscholarship gold consulting two podcasts on How to Pay for College HQ about scholarships. The guest was Elizabeth Hartley, owner of Scholarship Gold Consulting. I thought the information was so valuable, I wanted to share some of the excerpts with you. Make a point to listen to both complete interviews (you won’t regret it and you will save money paying for college) via the podcasts.

Q. Is the PSAT important?

The goal is not really pursuing the National Merit Scholarship itself. If your child finds out in December after taking the test that he scored above the National Merit Cutoff for your state, then there is much rejoicing. It won’t be until September of the Senior year (almost a year since he took the two hour test his Junior year) that your student will then get notified by National Merit Scholarship Corporation that he/she has been named a Semi-Finalist. The goal is to shoot for your state’s merit index cutoff–the student doesn’t have to be perfect.

Once your student meets that goal, they will become a semi-finalist for the National Merit Scholarship. 96% of students move on to the finalist category if they complete the paperwork.

The $2,500 comes out of the pocket of the National Merit Corporation. THE BIG MONEY COMES FROM JUST MAKING FINALIST.

There is a benign little question where the student is asked to please indicate their school of choice when completing the Semi-Finalist paperwork. There are a lot of schools that care that you put their name down. Schools care so much about you putting their name down that instantly the student will get full tuition, room and board, books and fees, free lap top, study abroad, spending money, automatic entrance into the honors college, best housing and the ability to register first for all of your classes until you graduate. All they had to do was perform well on a two hour test and mark that school down on the application paperwork.

Q. What are your favorite online resources for parents and students to find scholarships?

They each track about $19 billion of independent scholarship money. Parents and students start as early as 7th grade looking for scholarships. It’s like eHarmony for scholarships where they set up a profile and then it helps connect to the scholarships best suited that can be pursued independently. They are one time awards that can vary from $500 to $2500.

Q. How do the universities distribute money?

The Admissions office has control over Merit money, which is their way of saying your student is awesome and they really want your student to attend. The University likes something about your student and by them attending it will make the University look better, which helps their national ranking. They like your child, but they really like their numbers. Even athletic scholarships are a form of Merit money. Money not based on need, but something that the college wants to help benefit them.

Financial Aid department has the need based bucket, which is based on the families assets and income.

Q. Where can you get the most money–state schools or private universities?

The most expensive schools are often the cheapest schools even for the middle income family because they have the deepest pockets.

State Schools operate under a state budget and operate under tax dollars. State schools are not being mean by not offering as much Merit Aid, they just don’t have the deep pocket endowments like most private colleges. For a strong student a state school can end up being more expensive that a private college. For an above average student the private schools will come in on par with state schools if not less.

Q. What makes a top student?

It is all relative to the school they are pursuing.  Check each school of choice for their average SATs scores and GPA requirements and it will help to rank your student as an average student or above average student for that particular school.

Don’t spend your high school trying to check off every box so that is looks good on your resume. Go find your passions and be good at those.  Find what you are great and follow those to great success! Challenge students to find out if the are a fish or a squirrel and then go be great at that special gift.

how to pay for college hq

 To get all the detailed information and understand the entire financial aid process, be sure to listen to the podcasts.

You can listen on the website, via iTunes, or with Stitcher.

 

Uncategorized

How to Compare Colleges

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Every Thursday I will be sharing my best “How To” tips for the college-bound. Don’t miss a single post by subscribing to my blog, or liking me on Facebook (https://facebook.com/parentcollegecoach).

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compare colleges
Scattergraph of  American Colleges and Universities

Today’s topic is timely because parents and students are in the process of narrowing down their college lists for this year’s application season. Just exactly how do you compare colleges and determine which colleges should make it on the final list?

College Visits

Hopefully you’ve made some college visits either in the spring of last year or over the summer. Fall is the best time to visit those colleges that are on the short lists–the ones your student sees himself attending. College visits are a key element in comparing colleges. Your student can use those visits to compare students, campus facilities and even professors and courses if they sit in on some classes while visiting. All those factors play an integral part in the college selection.

Statistical college comparisons

Of course, as with any large purchase, you should also do price comparisons. You should compare value, financial aid awards, size, location, rankings and majors. The best way to do this is with side-by-side comparisons. I recommend using these three programs:

College Navigator

The National Center for Education Statistics has a comprehensive site with all the data collected to quickly and easily compare colleges statistically. Unfortunately, due to the government shut down, the site is currently down. But bookmark the site and hopefully it will be back up soon with all the current data.

FindTheBest

FindTheBest gathers information and build the tools that people need to make sense of it all, from visual icons to smart filters to scatterplots. It’s the ultimate research hub for making informed decisions.The program provides you with their smart rank, acceptance rates, total undergraduate students, average SAT scores, and tuition. You can adjust the data by adding various parameters as well.

Zinch

Like other college comparison tools, Zinch provides you with the parameters for each college and allows you to pick and choose the ones that fit your student. But Zinch takes it a step further and matches students with the colleges and colleges recruit them if they are interested.

College Factual

Unlike other college ranking systems, College Factual serves as a decision-making hub throughout the entire college search process, sharing outcomes-based data such as average student loan debt per student and default rates; how well colleges retain and graduate students; graduates’ starting salaries and earning potential; and return on investment based on cost of a degree.

Input from current students and faculty

Some of the best comparison information you can gather comes from current students and faculty. Fortunately the internet has made it easy to connect with these people and get a first-hand impression from the ones who know–current students and staff. Here are just a few ways your student can connect:

  • CollegeWeekLive.com-This is a virtual college fair where students can speak via video conference to current students, admissions officers, and financial aid officers. These fairs occur throughout the year and if you sign up on their site you will get notifications.
  • Facebook and Twitter-Social media is one of the best places to find other students and connect with the colleges and interact.
  • YoUniversitytv.com-This site posts videos of colleges, and they are not your typical campus tours.
  • Unigo.com-On this site parents and students can connect with other students and read student reviews, ask questions of college advisors, and watch videos of the colleges.
  • YouTube-YouTube is a good place to see videos posted by students and the colleges themselves.
Using these tools to compare colleges will help you and your student gather the information to make those final colleges lists.
test prep, Uncategorized, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Surviving Standardized Tests

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from pocsmom.com to parentingforcollege and vice versa.

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sat stressStandardized tests. Those two words or their acronyms are yelled, and screeched and treated with disdain in every college-bound household. Those two words cause fights, stressful days and nights, frustration over the teen’s lack of commitment, and absolute terror in the hearts of most college-bound teens. Nobody, and I mean nobody, likes taking tests.

Unfortunately for all of us, colleges use those tests to not only measure a student’s academic achievements, but to determine whether or not the student will be able to handle the rigorous academics of college. Whether your teen is taking the SAT, ACT, AP tests, or SAT subject tests it’s a given that fights will erupt. To quote a line from one of my favorite movies (The Devil Wears Prada), GIRD YOUR LOINS!

Parent Expectations

Parents expect their student to study hard, take practice tests, bone up on their vocabulary and prepare for the tests. They pay for tutors, use flash cards to drill them, and do just about anything to motivate them to do their best. Why? Because we know that the standardized tests will affect their college offers of admission.

But does any of this work? Not if your student isn’t invested in the game. I’ve talked to SAT tutors who tell stories of students barely paying attention, not trying and having a lackadaisical attitude about the test prep. All the test prep in the world won’t help if your student doesn’t see the value of preparation. You know  your student and you know what motivates them. Test preparation is just like any other activity–if they see the value of excelling, they will do their best.

Nancy Berk, author of College Bound and Gagged, sums up parent anxiety over standardized tests:

 

Student Expectations

If you don’t think your student is stressed about these tests, think again. Even the best students worry and fret about their scores. They have heard all throughout high school that the standardized test scores will make a difference on their college applications. Good scores = safety schools. Great scores = dream colleges. They know without you telling them the value of these tests.

Odds are, your student puts more pressure on themselves than you do. They may not show it and you may not see it but it’s there. Because they are stressed already, your stress level can make it even worse. They don’t want to disappoint you; they want you to be proud. If they sense you are anxious and interpret that as lack of faith in their ability, it makes it difficult for them to focus on the test.

What can you do to help? Remain calm and encourage them when you see them trying. Let them know that you expect them to do well but there’s no pressure on your part; test day will be much easier for them (and you).

College Expectations

Colleges, even if they say they don’t, use the standardized tests as a factor when considering students for admission. However, it’s not the only factor they use. Students with less than stellar test scores but stellar applications, often gain admission to their first choice college. Standardized tests are important, but they are not the most important component of the application. Colleges are looking for well-rounded students, not just brainiacs.

Putting too much pressure on the student to score high on these tests clouds the application process. In order to focus on the entire process, it’s best if parents and students look at the big picture. That means the essay, their academic record and their accomplishments play an integral roll in the application, just as the standardized test scores.

Stressing over tests just adds more stress in an already stressful process.

For more advice on surviving standardized tests, check out Wendy’s blog.

financial aid, Uncategorized

Making College Affordable

 

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It’s a confusing process–figuring out how to pay for college. Not only is it stressful, but it’s overwhelming trying to understand all the ins and outs of everything to do with financing a college education. Two women, Jodi Okun and Celest Horton, are doing something about it. In two separate projects, each of them is doing their part in making college affordable while graduating without debt or minimal debt.

A Parent’s Guide to Making College More Affordable

making college affordable

Jodi Okun has partnered with Zinch to create A Parent’s Guide to Making College More Affordable for the busy parent who wants straightforward and simple, yet thorough answers on how to navigate the confusing process of paying for college. Jodi has been working in the college financial aid industry for over six years. She began working at Occidental and Pitzer College in their financial aid offices helping thousands of families as a financial aid consultant. Jodi is also the founder of College Financial Aid Advisors, where she works closely with families to successfully navigate the financial aid process.

A Parent’s Guide to Making College More Affordable consists of the following content:

– Over 30 video lessons covering:

          • The cost of college including creating financial aid timelines & using the net-price calculator
          • All about applications – FAFSA, CSS PROFILE, IDOC, NCP
          • What to do after you’ve applied including comparing packages and how to follow up
          • How to cover the gap through grants, loans, etc.

– 14 hours of live “office hours” with Jodi Okun where you can connect with her directly and privately to ask questions related to your unique family situation.

– Detailed, step-by-step walk-throughs on how to complete important applications: the CSS Profile (released in October) and the FAFSA (released in January) at no additional cost.

– college timeline, budget worksheets and a downloadable dictionary of key terms.

– Q&A postings after each lecture to ask Jodi specific questions.

– Lifetime access to all course content and a 30-day money back guarantee.

Every parent of a college-bound teen should review the specifics of this comprehensive course, especially if you are confused or need help with the financial aid process. Click the link below for a 30% discount (the entire course for $34!)

A Parent’s Guide to Making College More Affordable

How to Pay for College HQ

how to pay for college

Celest Horton is a mother of four kids: three of the four are teenagers now. She is a Chemical Engineer by trade and has spent most of her professional career in technical sales in the Oil Industry.  Yet, she wanted to help serve others too by solving a current fear that she has…paying for college for four kids. Having three of the four in college at the same time is her greatest financial concern.

She wants to help others understand how simple it can be with a little planning and preparation. To do this, Celest is producing and making available How to Pay for College HQ Podcasts.  It’s a weekly podcast that is comprised of interviews with industry experts to educate high school parents and students to help them plan and prepare early with the goal to earn a degree debt free.

The Podcast is available on iTunes and Stitcher Radio, and the best part…it’s FREE. You can subscribe and listen to the most recent podcasts as they become available. Here are the two links:
financial aid, mom approved tips, parenting, Uncategorized

Mom-Approved Tips: Talking to your teens about financing college

 

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financing collegeIf you have a college-bound teen you’re well aware of the cost of college–it’s high. In a recent story in Business Week, one graduate confessed she had given up on her student loan debt of $186,000. She is not alone. With the nation struggling under a $1 trillion student debt crisis, stories like hers are nothing uncommon. For the first time ever, the national student loan default rate exceeds the credit card delinquency rate, and so long as student loans remain one of the few types of debt that can’t be discharged in bankruptcy, chances are the situation won’t improve any time soon. 

As their parent, it’s up to you to make sure they don’t fall prey to debt that they cannot repay after grduation. Before they ever accept an offer of admission, you need to talk to them about financing college. In my Parents Countdown to College Crash Course I call it “the money talk”.

Following are a few tips to help broach that uncomfortable topic with your college-bound teen:

The cold, hard facts

The first thing you need to discuss is finances: what you are willing to pay and what you expect them to contribute toward college expenses even if it’s just acquiring scholarships. Discuss the ramifications of student debt and talk openly about which colleges would fit into the family’s financial picture. Paint the picture clearly and explain to them this is a large investment and needs to be treated as such: you expect them to do their part and you expect them to study and to graduate.

The difference between wants and needs

This discussion is just as important as discussing the cost of the college education. When a student understands the difference between the two they can make financial decisions based of this criteria. Is it something they need or simply something they want? Don’t assume they know the difference. Most teens believe everything they want is a need. If they learn this lesson before going to college and living on their own, it will save them overdraft fees, past due notices and much heartache when they are controlled by their debt.

The college choice

Be realistic. If their dream college is out of reach financially think long and hard before you apply. This may be their first time to make a choice between what they want and what is best financially. It is a tough pill to swallow now, but they will thank you when they graduate with minimal or zero debt. The college they choose not only needs to be a perfect fit for them socially and academically; it also needs to be a perfect fit financially.

The budget

This is the perfect time to talk to your college-bound teen about creating and sticking to a budget. You may have tuition, room and board covered but there are always added expenses. Budgeting for those added expenses means there won’t be any surprises when the bills come due. Need a list of what those extras might be? Check out this article I wrote for Smart College Visit about the extras beyond tuition.

If you can’t sit them down for a time (we know how hard it is to even share a meal together), do it in segments. Just make sure you do it before they start applying to college. If you don’t, it’s going to be an uncomfortable discussion when they get accepted to their dream college and it’s not affordable for you and your student.

 

admissions, Scholarship Friday, scholarships

Scholarship Friday: A look at Zinch

 

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zinch

An interviewer asked me the other day which scholarship search engine would I recommend. Hands down–it’s Zinch. I chose them for these 5 reasons:

1. Their scholarship search engine is second to none

You can search for over $1 billion dollars in scholarship awards, set deadline reminders, and get scholarship advice from past winners. Their scholarship home page features a current scholarship and posts scholarships with approaching deadlines.

2. They connect students to colleges–2 for 1 (scholarship and college match)

Zinch is a free service that allows high school students to present themselves to college admission officers – as real people and more than just as SAT/ACT test score.

Importantly, college admission officers want this information. More than 750 colleges and universities work with Zinch to identify students who might be right for their schools.

3. The Double Your Money Program & $1000 Weekly Scholarship

They will match scholarship winners (up to $1000) if they apply to an eligible scholarship on their website and win. Who doesn’t need more money for college? They also offer a weekly $1000 scholarship based on the answer to a simple question (in 3 sentences or less).

4. They connect with students

Zinch simply summarizes this by saying: “The admissions process is very stressful. We know. So we let students connect with other students who are going through the same frustration, struggles and pains as they are. Hopefully that way the process can be a little bit easier.”

They engage and connect with students on their Facebook page as well. Every parent knows that nagging their students to apply for scholarships can be taxing. Zinch knows that and does a great job motivating them. They also connect with their high school blog for students: More Than a Test Score.

5. They connect with parents

Zinch offers parents the information they need to help students in their college process. On their parent page, they give parents free resources to download, a forum to discuss concerns with other parents, and some candid conversations with admissions officers and financial aid experts. Parents can also sign up for their email newsletter and read relevant articles on their high school blog, especially for parents.

Zinch is so much more than a scholarship search site. You can search for and apply to scholarships, connect with colleges, connect with other parents, and connect with other students.

college planning, social networks, Uncategorized

3 Things high school seniors should do now

 

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For many high school seniors, the start of the new school year also marks the official start of the college application process.  While students should begin planning and research as early as 9th and 10th grade, there are many 12th graders who may just be diving in now.

With early application deadlines just around the corner (November 1st and 15th), Dr. Katherine Cohen, CEO and founder of IvyWise (www.IvyWise.com) and LinkedIn Higher Ed Expert, urges high school seniors who may be off to a bit of a late start to do these three things right away:

Narrow down your college list.

high school seniorsStudents should end up with a list of 12 to 15 good-fit schools, a balanced list of reach, target and likely schools, all of which are an academic, social and financial fit.  A great place to start your research is LinkedIn, which provides aspiring students and young professionals with the opportunity to make informed decisions on which universities, majors and skills will help them achieve personal and professional success in years ahead. LinkedIn University pages allows students to learn what’s happening on campus, ask questions of faculty, staff, students and alumni, check out notable alumni and explore the professional paths of graduates.

Create a college application checklist.

Senior year of high school can be overwhelming for many students.  It’s often the most rigorous year academically, and the college application process has gotten a lot more complex since mom and dad applied.  It’s important to create a college application checklist and calendar with key dates now so that you don’t miss any important deadlines.  Be sure to include due dates for early and regular applications at each school to which you’re applying, standardized test dates, deadlines to apply for scholarships and financial aid, as well as deadlines for school projects, mid-terms and final exams.

Approach teachers for letters of recommendation.

Most selective colleges and universities require one to three recommendation letters with a student’s application, usually from a guidance counselor and at least one teacher. If you haven’t done so already, identify two 11th grade teachers who know you well—not just the ones who gave you the easy “A”—and ask them to write a letter of recommendation immediately.  Teachers receive many requests and are not required to write these letters.  Often, teachers will limit the number of letters they write, so students need to ask early.  Be sure to provide a copy of your resume, examples of your completed assignments and information about the colleges to which you are applying, so they can personalize your letter. Also, don’t forget to write your own letter to thank your teachers for their time!

parenting, Uncategorized, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Parenting Styles

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from pocsmom.com to parentingforcollege and vice versa.

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What type of parent college coach are you? Each of us has a unique personality that will influence the way we coach our teens. The key is to find yourself, recognize your weaknesses, identify your strengths and adapt to provide your college-bound teen with the best coaching possible.

1-The “let me do it for you” parent

parenting

If you are this type of parent, you’ve most likely been doing everything for your child over the years: making their bed, cleaning their rooms, preparing their snacks, all in the name of parenthood. Don’t get me wrong, when your kids were young, they depended on you to take care of them. But part of being a parent is teaching them to do things for themselves. We taught them to tie their own shoes, ride a bike, go to school on their own, and hopefully budget their money by giving them an allowance. As they get older and the tasks become more difficult, like driving and preparing for college, we tend to want to take back the reins, fearing they might make mistakes that are life altering. But that’s the worst thing you can do. It’s your role to guide them, teach them, and train them. Always remember, the college search and application process is a teen project. You can help, but don’t do it all for them. They need to be involved and when those admissions letters arrive they will own that accomplishment.

2-The “over-anxious” parent

It’s natural to worry and fret about something you do not understand, or have never experienced. Parenthood definitely has its over-anxious moments. Teenagers are by nature over-anxious. They worry about everything: will they be accepted; will they make the cheer squad; will they pass their finals; will they be asked to the dance. Their four years of high school present numerous opportunities for anxiety and the last thing they need is added anxiety over their preparation for college. Knowledge is power—if you have the tools and know the facts you’re anxiety will decrease and you will be less likely to pass that along to your teen.

3-The “pushy” parent

Are you a “type A” personality? Do you push everyone around you to succeed? Do you strive for the best in everything? If you answered yes to those questions, you might be a pushy parent. There is a fine line between being pushy and being a cheerleader. If you push too hard, you will overwhelm your teen. You can encourage them by helping them to achieve their potential. Harping about deadlines and asking them constantly if they have completed their scholarship applications will only produce rebellion. The best way to handle your over-achiever personality is through organization. If you work with your teen to get them organized and they are aware of the deadlines, you won’t have to be that pushy parent.

4-The “my dreams are your dreams” parent

Did you dream of going to Harvard or Yale? Did you always want to go away to college and live in a dorm? Do you wish you had joined a sorority or fraternity during college or played college sports? Did you always want to be a doctor or a lawyer? We all had dreams that might not have been realized. But the worst thing you can do as a parent is to try to achieve those dreams through your children. Your teen will never be happy pursuing YOUR dreams. Their satisfaction is achieved from their own accomplishments. Their happiness comes from pursuing their own passion. The quickest way to ensure failure in college is to send your teen off to a place where they feel pressured to succeed at something they never truly wanted to pursue. If you have unfulfilled dreams, find something you can pursue yourself that will satisfy that passion; and encourage your teen to walk their own path.

5-The “I’ll think about that tomorrow” parent

This is where I fit in. I’m the world’s worst procrastinator. (The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem…isn’t that what they say?) This is the worst time in your teen’s life for you to model or encourage procrastination. The next four years can be daunting and even overwhelming, but if you approach them without planning and organization, you will never survive. The problem with this philosophy is that it won’t work with deadlines, and the college maze is all about the deadlines. If you miss them, there are no second chances or do-overs. Not only do you risk missing the deadlines, as this type of parent you add extra stress to an already stressful time. Preparation and organization are keys to overcoming procrastination. Thinking about it tomorrow will only lead to frustration, disappointment, and regret. Remember the famous maxim-Carpe Diem (Seize the Day)!

6-The “uninvolved” parent

Your teen still requires your input. They may protest greatly and say loudly, “I can do it myself.” But what they really mean is I want to try with your support and help. If you make the mistake of turning the whole process over to your teen, the odds are great that they will become overwhelmed and frustrated to the point of giving up. There are so many decisions to be made and things to keep track of over the next four years. If you have a tendency to be an uninvolved parent, your teen will most likely feel abandoned in a sea of forms, applications and deadlines. Your job is always to encourage, guide and lead your teen to stay on top of those all-important college-related tasks that require their participation. It’s great to expect them to be responsible, but you and I both know that teenagers will be teenagers. Their minds and lives are headed in hundreds of different directions and staying on task can sometimes be inconceivable. It’s your goal to steer them back on course and help them reach their final goal.

7-The “well-balanced” parent

The well-balanced parent utilizes the best organizational tools to help their college-bound teen stay focused and on track. This is the type of parent coach we should all strive to become. You balance coaching, encouragement and guidance with information gathering, organization and goal setting. Your teen does not stress about deadlines because you have sat down together and created a calendar of upcoming scholarship applications, college entrance tests, activities, and school related events. You and your teen are confident and aware of the course you have set together and assured that because you are prepared and organized, the end result will be that your teen is able to reach their goal of college acceptance. You have planned ahead concerning the financial process and have utilized all the tools available to assure an impressive financial aid award package from the colleges where applications are submitted. You coach without pushing, pressuring or stressing out and your teen knows that they have your support and can look to you for positive feedback.

We all have different parenting styles, but think about incorporating the best of each and becoming a well-balanced parent. The college process will be less stressful and your college-bound teen will be less stressed.

Read Wendy’s (POCSMom) approach on different parenting styles.