The college admissions process can be overwhelming. It will be a stressful time for both you and your teen. Your teen will need your help and your support. They will need to know they can count on you to do your part so they can do their part. It’s truly a team effort. Good parenting is key, especially during college prep.
Here are some helpful suggestions for you that will help you help your teen during college prep.
Make a visit to your teen’s counselor– Let the counselor know that you intend to be an involved parent and establish a relationship at the start. The counselor is an important source of information and of course guidance regarding your teen’s college pursuit.
Establish relationships with teachers and staff–
Since most parents tend to drop out when their teen reaches high school, it’s
crucial that you make it clear to the educators that you will be a partner in
educating your child. Keep in touch and verify your teen’s progress via email
if it’s available and attend any teacher conferences or parent meetings that
are scheduled. Show up at PTA meetings and parent information sessions, making
you visible to the staff.
Read all school information– Once you have stressed
to your teen the importance of ensuring that ALL information gets home to you,
you must take the time to READ it. This means reading the school handbook,
teacher handouts, letters to parents, guidance department newsletters, any
rules and policies, and homework and attendance rules. Discuss these with your
teen to alleviate any future misunderstandings that might arise over failing to
follow school guidelines.
Stress the importance of good attendance– Attendance
is key in high school. Missing even one class can put the student behind. Schedule
appointments, when possible, before and after school. If there is an absence,
make sure your teen does the make up work in a timely manner. If the absence
will be for an extensive period of time, coordinate with the teachers to assure
the makeup work is completed.
Encourage strong study habits– These habits will
follow your teen to college. Set aside a regularly scheduled study time.
Studying needs to be a priority before any added activities. GPA rules in the
college admission process and good study habits will assure your teen enters
the process with an impressive one. Don’t allow your teen to procrastinate and
go into overdrive because they waited until the last minute to complete a
project.
Stress regular contact with teachers and counselors-This
contact will play an important role when your teen needs recommendation
letters. It will also establish in the minds of these educators that he or she
means business. They will see that your teen is there to learn and excel and
ask questions. Those students are the ones that are recommended for leadership
positions and academic awards. It can be something as simple as saying hello in
the hallway or using the counselor’s office to research scholarships.
Be the organization coach– My mantra for high school
was: Preparation Prevents Panic. If you know where everything is, have a
schedule and a plan, you won’t get stressed and frustrated. Sometimes the only
filing system a teen has is their floor. It’s your job as their parent coach to
help them start and maintain good organization for their date planners,
notebooks, folders, files and college related materials.
Stay informed and involved– This does not mean camp out at the school every day and follow your teen around (although that is tempting). It means monitoring quizzes, grades, daily homework assignments and long-term projects. If you begin to notice any problems, schedule an appointment with the teacher and work out a plan for tutoring if it’s necessary. Don’t wait for the report card to lower the boom. If you stay proactive and informed, you and your teen will be able to fix any problems before they become catastrophes.
Know your teen’s friends (and their parents)– Your teen’s out of school activities will always
affect in-class behavior. In high school, it’s as much about social activity as
it is about academic success. Assuring that your teen’s friends share the same
values and goals will make a difference in their focus in and out of school.
Encourage them to make friends that have college as a goal and have the same
study habits. Take the time to meet and get to know your teen’s friends’
parents. Make sure they share your values and understand your position on
smoking, drinking and drugs.
Be proactive when you encounter problems– All types
of problems arise in high school: academic, behavioral and even social. There
is a logical solution for all of them, but the key is to be aware when they
arise and address them quickly. Academic problems require additional teacher
help, tutoring, and possibly study skill courses. If you encounter behavioral problems,
contact the school counselor or principal and discuss with them recommendations
for the particular situation. Coaches can often help, along with a mentor.
Sometimes professional counseling is warranted. Don’t ever be afraid to ask for
help. And don’t make the mistake of turning your head and going into denial. Problems only get worse
if they are ignored, especially in high school.
We’re living through some pretty strange times right now. Just a few months ago, life was on track and routine. We were living day to day life to schedule – dropping the kids to school, heading to work or completing tasks around the house, socializing with our free time or heading out for fun days out. But since then, the unprecedented spread of coronavirus – a contagious and potentially lethal virus – around the world has turned many of our lives on their heads. The majority of governments have asked us to remain at home as much as possible. Schools have been closed. People are working remotely or not working at all. Socializing outside of your household isn’t really an option. This has posed many of us with a variety of difficulties and problems. But for those of us with kids, school tends to be a main concern. Here are just a few different ways you can maintain your children’s education during the pandemic!
Reduce Pressure
First and foremost, reduce pressure on yourself and your little ones. These are difficult times for everyone and all children are going to be falling behind on their education right now. When schools reopen, all kids are going to find themselves in the same position and teaching will recommence from where it was left off. So, don’t be too hard on yourself or your kids. Instead, focus on this time for bonding.
Look Up Your Child’s Curriculum
If you do want to help to introduce your little one to a few of the things they’d currently be learning at school if there wasn’t a pandemic, you can always look up their curriculum and see what they would be being taught right now. Remember that curriculums vary from one school to another, so ensure you’re focusing on the right one. If in doubt, you could always contact the school and ask.
Use All Resources Available
There are so many great, free online resources out there that can prove educational for your child. Watch a few educational Youtube videos for their age group and determine whether any are good for your child to watch. Use sites like PennyDell Puzzles to challenge them with logic and numbers. Stimulate their creativity with arts and crafts projects or writing projects. Encourage them to read books. Watch kids shows on history, science and other areas with them. Consider investing in language learning software for them. There are so many different options out there!
Set Your Own Tests
Basic spelling and maths tests are easy to set up yourself when you have little ones. Challenge them with simple maths and spellings. Many kids find this fun and enjoy the element of competition.
These are just a few suggestions when it comes to educating your kids at home during the pandemic. They’ll be back to school soon enough, but hopefully, these steps will really help for now!
My goal here is to help parents navigate the college maze. Part of that process is to find and recommend products and/or services that will help parents as they navigate the process.
With college move-in day approaching in the fall and parents using the summer to shop and gather items to send with their college students, I’ve found a FREE service that can help: Campus Arrival. This service makes it easy for parents and students to view and check off all the items the college either requires or recommends for students to move on to campus.
All you need to do is sign up for an account which lets you
save your supply checklist. By doing this, you can mark items as done. You’ll
also be able to set your school as a favorite so you can link to it quicker.
Also, if any other family members want to help and buy you something for
college, they can see what you need and what you already have.
Once registered, type in the name of your school (or search
on the list by state), and you will see a curated list of college-ready items
to pack based on the college’s official recommendations. They have also
included items from other schools’ suggestions and expert advice compiled from
around the internet. All their recommendations are based on a balance between
quality and value.
You will also notice a checkmark next to an item that
indicates it is included as an official recommendation from the college.
According to their FAQ section:
Our recommendations come in three flavors.
First
are specific item recommendations. These include an explanation for why we
are recommending the item along with a link to that specific product.
Second
are ‘Starter Pack’ recommendations. These are lists of items that are
similar. We added the lists for items that are small and don’t require
significant concern about reviewing the product – things like toiletries,
desk supplies, etc. Lists provide an easy way to grab a bunch of things at
once.
Third
are search recommendations. For some items, there can be a lot of personal
preference involved – things like bedding, posters, bikes, etc. The search
recommendations provide a link to Amazon with many options that meet the
need but you can personalize for your personality.
For example, here is a screenshot from a college in Texas:
Texas A&M University.
For those parents who are concerned about the coronavirus,
Campus Arrival has also included recommendations for Covid-19 prep:
Sincelaptops are a major asset while you’re at
college, their recommendations help you with the specific hardware requirements
for your school and major. They search the school’s official site. Each school
is different in terms of the info they provide. Some schools provide general
specifications. Some give major’s specific needs. And some schools don’t
provide any recommendations.
Campus Arrival includes the links to the official school
recommendations so you can reference them (in the Sources section of the school
page). With the hardware specifications, they use CNET extensively to make
product recommendations. They also consider Amazon reviews and will search
other technology sites to make sure the products are high quality.
Campus Arrival also provides a list of prohibited items and
posts the links to the sources they used to compile their lists. This takes the
guesswork out of trying to prepare for move-in day and helps parents shop
confidently and easily for their student.
If you don’t see you your college on their sight, you can make a recommendation for them to add it their list. While you wait for your specific school to be added, you can check out their General Recommendations list. This list is a combination of all the items they have collected from all the schools completed. It’s a good start and provides everything you’ll need.
If you have a college-bound student, take advantage of
Campus Arrival’s convenient service to help you and your student prepare for
move-in day.
Families with children are known as the highest demographic to most likely own a pet. Children have numerous gifts to offer a pet, with countless hours of attention and play, cuddles, and a life-long companion. However, the rewards work both ways.
Your children can learn a lot from owning a pet, whether it’s compassion, empathy, or the responsibility they may need to take them through college and into adulthood, these 10 valuable life lessons are what they could learn:
Responsibility
Whether you choose ot have a dog such as a chocolate lab from https://chocolatelabradorretriever.ca/ or a smaller pet like a guinea pig, pets need to have daily food, affection, and exercise as well as potty time and grooming. Older children can learn these skills and use them and even younger children can help to feed them and play with them.
Trust
It’s easy to confide in your pet, they will offer you unconditional support in return. Pets make trusted companions for children and can be an important step to helping your child build trust in other relationships they may have through their life.
Compassion
Caring for a living creature requires compassion, empathy, and understanding, Kids learn to be kind and how they can take care of another’s needs.
Bereavement
You child will inevitably feel the pain of any loss of a pet, but it will also teach them how to cope through a bereavement period. A lesson not many get to learn when young.
Physical Activity
If you own a dog, your children can learn how to have fun physical activity through games like fetch or tug of war. And enjoy going for walks. Research suggests that children who own a dog spend more time being physically active than children who don’t.
Patience
It can take time to bond with a new pet, so your child will learn patience whilst your new pwr becomes comfortable and starts to feel at home during training.
Respect
Owning a pet is a great way to teach children how to respect others. They much tend to their needs, touch them gently, and learn not to disturb them when they are sleeping or eating.
Self-Esteem
Pets will show them unconditional love, which can be a wonderful boost to a child’s self-esteem. So, too, can the proudness and satisfaction from having the responsibility of caring for a pet’s needs.
Loyalty
A pet’s loyalty toward its owner is hard to match. With this, children can learn the importance of showing loyalty to their furry friend.
Social Skills
A dog can be a fantastic way to break the ice in social situations. This means taking your dog on family walks can help to improve your children’s social skills as they see you interact
This has certainly been one of those years. It all began with news of a virus in China. Then it began to spread and the world was in the midst of a pandemic. As time progressed it made it to our country and everyone was frightened and scared. People were dying. There seemed to be no hope. Schools closed. Businesses closed. Churches closed. We all stayed home and waited.
Just when it seemed the outlook was improving, a senseless and cruel act of murder occurred at the hands of a policeman—someone we trusted to protect us. I kept remembering the words spoken in Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner: “All hell done broke lose around here!” Truer words were never spoken.
I’m certainly not a psychologist or pretend to understand what it’s like to live as a person of color in this country. But I have children and grandchildren and it’s moments like these when they are watching us. They watch how we respond and how we treat others. Raising an independent adult should also involve raising a compassionate human being.
These are teachable moments.
Violence is not the answer
On September 20, 1958, Izola Ware Curry walked into a Harlem department store where King was signing books and asked, “Are you Martin Luther King?” When he replied “yes,” she stabbed him in the chest with a knife. King survived, and the attempted assassination only reinforced his dedication to nonviolence:
“The experience of these last few days has deepened my faith in the relevance of the spirit of nonviolence, if necessary social change is peacefully to take place.”
Look for the helpers
Mr. Rogers’ mother had the best advice for a time like this—look for the helpers. We looked for the helpers during the pandemic at its worst. We should look for the helpers in the midst of this civil unrest.
Policemen, sheriffs and mayors speaking to the protestors and asking to “walk with them” in solidarity and as a promise to do better. People showing up to help business owners clean up after the damage from the riots. Protestors protecting the police when surrounded by an angry mob. A protestor bringing a case of water to the policemen standing watch. Helpers put all of this into perspective.
Which brings me to the next teachable moment…
Love one another
Nothing good ever comes from hate. Our children are innocent and loving when born. If they are taught to hate, they will hate. If they are taught to love, they will love. Teach them to unconditionally love their fellow humans. Martin Luther King Jr. said,
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
Stand with those who are hurting
Every single person who viewed the video of that policeman kneeling on George Floyd’s neck was outraged. There’s no question that he used his position of authority to murder that man and showed no mercy when the man was crying for help. Your teen should know you are outraged and understand why. It should open a discussion about how you feel about racism and give you an opportunity to talk about this issue. If you feel moved to act, allow your teenager to participate if they ask. Nothing will change if we don’t teach our children to be color blind. Martin Luther King Jr. explained it clearly,
“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
Dyslexia can affect one in five people, according to the National Institutes of Health. Once you have noticed the symptoms such as laboured or inaccurate reading and/or spelling. As well as difficulty rhyming, associating sounds with alphabetic symbols, sequencing and ordering sounds you can take the next step to be diagnosed. There are many ways to help Dyslexia.
Schools that specialize in Dyslexia
Schools such as CLOI’s Dyslexia PD offerings can often provide extra attention towards teaching them how to utilize, systematic and sequential instructional approach while reading and writing. The best method they use is a multisensory method. This can ensure that each plan is helping them to succeed with every journey with something like their writing and reading. They understand Dyslexia in a way that looks at it from different views to ensure that they choose the best method for them as every case is different. Having a personalized program is essential.
What parents can do to help
If your child has Dyslexia, you can often feel helpless. There are multiple ways in which you can help at home. Start reading aloud of your child as young as you can, even six months and younger can make a massive difference to their vocabulary. If you are not comfortable with reading aloud yourself, then playing a recorded book with your child can be an effective method. Work side by side with your child’s school to ensure that you can proceed with the same techniques at home to avoid confusion. Scheduling in reading time each day can encourage your child to read that will improve their literacy skills. You could do this by reading something of your own while your child read their book. This shows that you are there to support your child, and they will see that reading is an enjoyable activity to do together.
Support your child
Finding ways to support your child without being intimidating can be difficult. Expressing your love and support when they are reading or talking can help build their skills and show their strengths. This can be done by having conversations with your child regularly.
Designating a specific time of day to help them at home by organizing a place and time for your child to study. This space is then known as a place of work rather than play. This also means limiting the amount of time they spend on electronic screens and swapping them for reading practice.
If you are feeling alone at this time, then joining a support group can help you massively to provide useful information and emotional support. Building you and your child’s relationship to helping their strengths and weaknesses.
Hopefully, with this guide, you will be able to find different learning techniques to learn your child’s Dyslexia. Whether that is having support from a school such as CLOI’s Dyslexia PD. They offer comfort and personalized methods to help your child. And changing up your home environment to allow your child’s reading and writing to grow and improve.
Whether your child is leaving for college soon or they are coming towards the end of their studies, ensuring you support your child in the right way, not just in a professional sense but in an emotional sense as well, can prove to be a wide-ranging subject. Ultimately, there is a massive transition from college to the real world. For anybody that has been through college education and has now come out on the other side, they may tell you just how much of a shock to the system it is to go into the real world. So what can you do to make sure that you support your child in the right way when they are transitioning toward independence after graduation?
Will Additional Qualifications Help At This Point?
Many people decide to move on to a master’s course after their degree. For some, this can be prolonging the eventuality of going into the real world. But it all depends on the degree that your child initially undertook. If they’ve got a very clear-cut career plan but they need to acquire a master’s in system design & management or a niche subject, it’s vital that they work towards this. The best thing you can do if your child is adamant about completing extra qualifications is to make sure that they’ve researched their career choice at every angle.
Encouraging Them To Find The Best First Job
Some parents feel that their child needs to get any job after they come out of college, but this can be a huge mistake. If your child is not continuing their education, you should encourage them to explore a wide variety of opportunities. Many people these days decide to accept a job for the sake of it, but this means that they could very well get stuck in a professional rut. And even if you, as the parent, have been in the same position before, it’s essential to encourage them to diversify their efforts. Encourage them to make strategic decisions from the outset. This could mean undertaking career questionnaires or helping them to realize what skills they have right now that lend to a specific profession.
Remember To Take A Step Back
They are your child, and you want the best for them, but you have to remember that you can’t force them to do something. If you feel the need to go down a particular direction, they will likely do the opposite. Think about your emotions and keep them in check. Manage their moods rather than trying to force them down a specific path. After college, your child can feel somewhat empty in-between that chasm of finishing their education to starting a career. There will naturally be bumps in the roads, and they may feel the pressure to get on to the “right” career right away. The best thing that you can do is to take a step back and also realize where you are helicopter parenting.
Even if you went straight into work, you have to remember just how much a shock to the system it can be going from years of education to the real world. They worked hard at getting their qualification, and now they want to make sure that it counts. The best thing you can do for them at this point is to be supportive of their decisions.
These have certainly been times of upheaval. Students were told to finish the year at home. Parents scrambled to help their teens adjust. Graduations were cancelled and even college plans are uncertain. But that doesn’t mean you can’t prepare for the day when they will leave for college.
It seems like only yesterday you are dropping your child off at their first class, and they are upset about leaving you. But now your child has decided to go off to college and will be leaving you without so much as a wave before long. But this is a wonderful testament to the job you have done as a parent up to now, and it’s hard to forget just how much you have done for them, and How they are so successful already from your support and their hard work. There are a few things you can do to make sure that you have prepared yourself for the big day, and that you don’t end up too upset when it happens. Our children taking the plunge and becoming independent is something special, and something to be proud of. So what can you do to prepare yourself for this transition?
Be proud
Be proud of your child’s achievements. Sharing this with the world and your family and friends is important, and showing your child that you are proud of them will do great things for their confidence. It isn’t always about academic achievements of course, but it does show a certain level of resilience and confidence, as well as a hard-working nature to gain a place in a college. Making sure that you don’t forget the role you have played in getting into this point, and congratulating yourself for the great support you have given your child along the way, is important. So never feel as though you are going too far by showing your pride in your children.
Prepare practicalities
Making sure that all of the practicalities such as student accommodation and the small details are covered when it comes to preparing your child for college, will give you a sense of confidence that everything is taken care of. You can, of course, continue to support your child once they have left for college, and many people do send care packages on a regular basis. But making sure that your child knows where they are going, what they are doing, and they have the support there if they need it, will help you relax and feel much better about the whole situation.
Be there
Being there when your child needs you, or even when they don’t, is all we can do. Sometimes they will act as though they don’t need any support whatsoever, and this may be true for many grown-up children spreading their wings, and if we have done our jobs correctly then they really should be quite independent anyway, but just being ready to take a call, or be there when they need you, it’s going to be the most important job you can do when your child is going off to college. Being there is our number one role once all the basics of parenting are done, we teach them everything we can to a certain age, And then must take a step back to just support when needed. You will find that even the most independent college children will feel as though they have got everything under control, but we can always be there ready to catch them if they fall.
If you have a student in college and you are hoping for them to do as well as possible, there are things that you might be able to do to help them along. While you should mostly let them do it on their own, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be encouraging them or offering them just the right amount of help – so long as you don’t get overly involved, that is, and you still let them achieve it by themselves. If you want to help your children pass their college exams, there are a number of things you can do to ensure that they are much more likely to, so let’s look at what those might be.
Stress Busting
One of the main things you can do for them is to show them how to deal with the exam stress. All children get stressed when it comes to exam time, and it is a natural part of the process that they are going to have to find a way to deal with. A little stress is not even too much of a bad thing; it shows how important the situation is, and it has been known to help people work to their fullest degree where necessary. But too much stress is definitely a problem, and you can help them by showing them how to keep stress at bay. Keeping calm, breathing deeply, and getting plenty of sleep are all good ways of doing this.
Getting Help
If you feel that your child really needs it, you might also want to think about getting them some extra education which they can make use of. If your child is falling back in English, for instance, then hiring a private English tutor could be all you need to do to make sure that they are going to get back on track, or even get ahead of their peers. However, it’s not a competition, and the main thing is that you should be trying to help them get to a point where they are confident they will pass their exams. If you can do that, you will find that they will have a much higher chance of success.
Study Skills
When it comes to the actual preparation for the exams, you can help them there too, even if they are living on campus and you are not seeing them in person. If they can learn from you how to properly prepare for exams, then that is going to do them very well, and you will find that they are going to have a much better time of it in general. That is absolutely something that you are going to want to think about if you are particularly keen for them to achieve great things. Good exam preparation is something that can be learned, so make sure that you are helping them wherever necessary in learning it before they have their exams.
With all the talk of helicopter parenting, over parenting, snowplow
parenting and parents refusing to allow their students become independent
adults, it’s important to understand how to coach your teenager without crossing
the line.
A recent article in Business
Insider quoted a study conducted by Florida State University focusing on
some of the issues with today’s parenting:
Helicopter parents are “overly
involved, protective parents who provide substantial support (e.g., financial,
emotional, physical health advice) to their emerging adult children, often
intervening in their affairs and making decisions for them.”
“Individuals with parents who
engage in highly controlling, overprotective behaviors have been characterized
as being overly needy in terms of seeking attention, approval and direction
from others,” the authors wrote in summarizing past research. “In addition,
they have been found to utilize more ineffective coping skills, express higher
levels of narcissism and demonstrate lower self-efficacy.”
In contrast…
“Developmentally appropriate
parenting can promote healthy decision-making and a child’s development of
autonomy, increasing the likelihood that their children will become
independent, well-adjusted, problem-solving adults. They tend to cope better
with stress, have more self-esteem and experience less depression.”
Knowing this…
What is a parent’s role during the college prep
process?
I will give you 10 coaching steps to take for a positive college prep experience.
Step 1-Offer guidance and advice.
Parents are primarily coaches—coaching and directing their teenager during high school so that they will be prepared to apply to and eventually attend college. It’s natural to take this role in parenting and it works well in the area of college prep.
Your teenager may not always
ask, but they will need advice during this stressful time. Listen to their
concerns and offer guidance and advice. Listening is the key because teenagers
don’t always communicate what they are feeling and don’t always ask for help.
The next thing parents need to
do is…
Step 2-Establish
boundaries.
Early during the college prep process, have a serious
conversation with your student.
Because of the insurmountable number of tasks involved with
college prep, your student will need your help. The key word here is, “help”.
One admissions officer told me, “Let your student drive the car”. It won’t be
easy to let your student take control of the process, but this is part of the
training they will need to be successful in college.
Next, we will discuss exactly how you can help.
Step 3-Be
an encourager and a helper.
Be an encourager by reminding your student of deadlines,
from test registration to FAFSA and application submission. Encourage them to stay
on top of every task and suggest creating a timeline for each task.
Parents can participate in just about every activity during
college prep.
You can help with organization by establishing a college
landing zone. A place where you and your student can keep track of all
college-related information.
You can help with test prep—practicing vocabulary words,
administering practice tests, and hiring a tutor if necessary. You can also
help them create a study schedule to prepare for the tests.
You can help your student create a college list. What is at
the top of their list? What are they interested in studying? What career
interests them? What college activities outside of academics are important?
Does location or size matter? Use these questions to begin crafting the list.
You can participate in college visits by planning the
visits, traveling with them, and discussing the visits afterwards, Under no
circumstances should you take control during any aspect of the campus visit,
from the tour to the interviews.
Scholarship searching can be a daunting task for any busy
student. Parents can help by searching for the scholarships, making sure all
the components of the scholarship application are completed, proofreading any
essays, and making sure they are submitted correctly and on time.
Once the applications have been submitted you can participate in the final decision. Weigh all the financial aid offers against one another and help your student choose the college that is the best fit: academically, socially and financially. This is an important part of coaching.
Step
4-Teach life skills.
Teenagers need time and priority management skills,
conflict management skills, and effective communication skills. They need to
know when and how to ask for help, they need to effectively maneuver the
college bureaucracy, and they need to operate on a budget and manage their
money. They need to self-advocate and have the self-discipline to stay safe.
Step
5-Teach Academic skills.
Students should start college with strong study skills.
They need to be able to write a well-researched and documented, accurate,
organized, and well-written paper. They need to start college prepared to
attend all their classes, read the assigned materials, and know how to take
notes. They need to be prepared to pursue study groups, additional review
periods, or other options such as seeking out their teachers when they have
questions and need help.
Step
6-Model behavior
Parents should be involved in their teenager’s school by
participating in parent-teacher meetings and similar events, judging their
student’s academic strengths and weaknesses, and pushing them to get help when
they need it. Parents should make expectations and rules clear for both
academics and behavior, and follow through on reasonable consequences. Parents
should give their teenagers graduated responsibilities, teach them to budget,
and make them responsible when they make mistakes.
Step 7-Educate yourself about everything to do with college prep
In order to be the “wise
sage”, you need to educate yourself about all aspects of college prep. And in
today’s age of technology and social media, you have all the tools available to
do this. Take advantage of all the college prep advice on social media
(Twitter, Facebook, and even Pinterest) have all sorts of tips for parents to
help with college prep. Subscribe to blogs that provide parents with advice and
connect with other parents on Facebook who are going through the same process.
On my blog, I offer numerous
lists of experts to follow on social media, along with advice from college
counselors, test prep tutors, essay experts and admissions officers. These tips
help parents stay on top of all the college prep tasks and stay educated about
any changes in standardized tests, admissions or financial aid.
Step
8-Have the money talk
Parents
should have a serious conversation with their student about money before even
applying to colleges. Approach it as a collaborative discussion and use
this as a start to helping your teen understand the importance of budgeting and
“needs vs wants”.
Start
off by making sure your teen knows what a “need” is and what a “want”
is in relation to college costs. For some teens, all wants are needs. This
is the time to nail the definition down and clarify it in their minds.
Decide
just who will be paying for each college expense. Every family is
different but it’s important to make this clear from the very beginning so that
there won’t be any surprises.
Use a budget worksheet and understand ALL college expenses. Don’t just assume
that tuition, room and board will cover it. There will be additional costs as
well like travel, entertainment, dorm furnishings, student fees and others. Be
sure to budget for these additional expenses.
When
your teens contribute to the costs of their education, they will be more
invested in their success. They will also learn valuable budgeting lessons that
will stick with them past college and into adulthood. You’re doing your teen a
disservice if you don’t involve them in the college financial discussions. They
need to be active participants in the decisions and also play an active part in
paying for that high-cost college education.
Step
9-Make financial aid a priority.
Even if you can afford to pay for college, why would you
use the money if your student can get some of the free money from scholarships
and grants? It makes sense to apply for scholarships. Scholarships are
available for all ages and students should start applying early, even before
senior year. There are scholarships for students with average grades, and
scholarships that don’t require a GPA or even an essay. Sign up for scholarship
search engines to find scholarship matches. Leave no stone unturned: search
locally, ask friends, talk to your student’s school counselor and listen to the
media. Scholarships are literally everywhere, and many local ones go unclaimed
every year.
When your student is a senior, complete the FAFSA. The
FAFSA is the key to getting not only federal aid, but aid from the colleges
themselves. Much of the college aid is merit based but your student won’t
receive it if they don’t submit the FAFSA.
Next…
Step
10-Participate in the final decision.
Once your student is accepted to colleges, due your due diligence
and compare all the financial aid awards. If one award is higher than another
and your student wants to attend that college, appeal the lower award using the
higher award as leverage. Find the college that is the best fit: academically,
socially and financially. Don’t allow your student to take on high amounts of
debt just because it’s the college he or she wants to attend. Be the voice of
reason and explain the consequences of graduating with too much student loan
debt…
Now, some final words of advice…
Nag
less and listen more
You will be tempted to nag: write this, apply to this, study
for this, and search for this. Nagging will only cause strife and stress for
you and your student. Instead, listen to his concerns, his visions, and his dreams.
Listen carefully to ascertain whether or not college is the best choice. Listen
to him talk about how he feels about the entire college prep process. And once
you’ve listened, guide him — don’t nag.
Do
less and encourage more
Avoid the temptation to take over the process. As one
admissions officer told me, “Let your student drive the car.” You can be a
coach, an advisor, a mentor and an attentive listener. You can also help with
data gathering, scholarship searching, and deadline reminders. But under no
circumstances should this process be yours. Let your student own his own
future.
Compare
less and research more
Don’t listen to other parents who want you to compare your
student to theirs. This is you and your student’s journey. Do your research.
Ask the experts. Don’t rely on hearsay to make your decisions. Your student is unique,
and his journey will be unique. Arm yourself with all the information and tools
to help with the process. Then pass it along to your student.
Panic
less and plan more
If there’s one piece of advice I give parents, it’s this:
stay organized and don’t miss any deadlines. Make a plan throughout high school
and follow the plan. Once your student enters senior year, you should be
organized and ready to begin the application process.
