Category Archives: parenting

college guidance, parenting

Teaching your college-bound teens about the dangers of drinking and driving

Do you remember when you were a teenager? Likely you can recall bits and pieces, but as you have grown older, wiser, and more experienced, you may have forgotten the particular blend of hormones, peer pressure, and self-discovery that leads teens to experience a sense of both invincibility and the immediacy of everything going on in their lives. You no doubt shake your head, exasperated, when your teens decry your overly careful attitude, but the truth is that you are at very different places in life. Your teens have yet to know the heartache and hurt that have caused you to become so cautious. But you have been where they are, and if you try to recall how you thought and felt at their age you should be able to come up with ways to connect to your college-bound kids on a level they can relate to. When it comes to discussing the dangers of drinking and driving when they head off to campus, it’s imperative that you make an impression.

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A good place to start is by learning all that you can about drinking and driving. You might begin by visiting the NHTSA (National Highway Traffic Safety Administration) website to bone up on statistics for teenage drinking and driving. Although you probably don’t want to present the students in your household with a laundry list of rote facts and figures, they could come in handy when you attempt a discussion with your know-it-all teens. In truth, statistics only tell a small part of the story. You’re going to have to get a lot more personal if you want to instill in your kids a healthy fear of what can happen when they choose to get behind the wheel after drinking.

When you sit down with your college-age kids with the intent of discussing the dangers of drinking and driving, the best way to engage them may be to let them do the talking. A hardline, authoritarian stance may work with some kids, but most teens will tune out the moment you start lecturing. Instead, try asking them what they think about drinking and driving. Many will automatically reply that they know it’s wrong and they would never do such a thing. But you can’t end the conversation there. Question them next about how drinking and driving could impact their lives. Ask them if they know what happens when they receive a DUI. That opens the door for you to explain the legal process, including the black mark that will stay with them for the rest of their lives, not to mention the hike in their college auto insurance rates for the next couple of years.

Ask your kids what they think will happen in the event of an accident, not only to them personally, but also to passengers in their vehicle and the driver or passengers of other vehicles. You might even go so far as to have them to consider how they might feel if they hurt or killed a friend, or to imagine the guilt if they ended the life of a child or a family in another vehicle just because they were too stupid or too proud to call a cab or arrange for a designated driver for the night. In addition to the emotional weight of such a situation, they would also face criminal charges, potentially landing them in jail and getting them expelled from school in the process.

Making your kids think about these things and explain them to you in their own words is the best way to ensure that they’re thinking about them when they’re confronted with the prospect of drinking and driving. You won’t always be there to deter them, but you can give them the tools to think for themselves and make the right decision when it comes to drinking and driving.

college guidance, dorm life, parenting

Top 5 financial mistakes college freshmen make

Freshmen-BlundersWhen your student becomes a freshman in college they are bound to face a rather steep learning curve on several fronts. For one thing they will have to get used to being responsible for themselves, including how (and when) to eat, get enough sleep, and juggle their daily schedule, from attending classes to doing homework to squeezing in some socialization. But they will also have to learn to manage their own finances, and this can be extremely difficult for students that have never had to set a budget, balance accounts, and pay bills, especially if you, as parents, have offered no friendly advice or training on the subject. But rather than learning things the hard way and potentially getting into debt or screwing up their credit along the way, it’s in your best interest to help them become aware of some common issues that average freshmen face in the area of finance so that they can circumvent them completely. Here are just a few financial mistakes they will certainly want to avoid.

  1. Blowing dough on friends. Whether you are providing them with a monthly stipend for living expenses, they have some loan money left over after tuition and books, or they have a wage-earning job for the first time in their life, they may end up with a little more money in their pocket than they are used to, and the urge to impress their new friends by springing for pizza, treating them to coffee, or buying them tickets to rock concerts could leave your student high and dry with no money for essentials. This is a classic rookie mistake that plenty of freshmen make once or twice. But after living on Raman noodles for weeks, they aren’t likely to make this classic blunder again.
  2. Neglecting bookkeeping. Most students have never had to track their spending, so why would they add such a burden when they’ve already got the stresses of college to contend with? Because they don’t end up getting into trouble with overdraft fees, credit card fines, or angry phone calls from their parents informing them that you will no longer fund them unless they can get spending habits in order.
  3. Failing to budget. Any time you have limited funds (or really, any time at all) it’s important to create a budget so that you always know just how much money you have available and where it’s destined to go. Without this knowledge you could find that you don’t have enough in the bank when it comes time to pay for tuition. Or your bank card may be denied when you try to pay for dinner. Neither sounds very appealing.
  4. Applying for credit cards. Although there are laws in place to protect students from credit card offers that are made to take advantage of their inexperience, only your student can truly ensure that they don’t wind up owing their first-born child to Visa or MasterCard. As soon as they take out loans and start building credit the offers for plastic will come rolling in. Tell them to resist the urge to say yes to every offer that lands on their desk. If they need to use a credit card to actually build their credit, select one that has a low limit (to curtail overspending) and also a low interest rate (one that won’t get bumped up in 12 months). Or consider a card that requires they pay the balance, like American Express.
  5. Ignoring cheaper alternatives. Even though you might be  insuring items you bring to college, it’s probably a good idea not to bring anything too valuable. This includes a car. As a student living on campus they should have no problem getting around with nothing more than a bike or their own two feet. And even if they work off campus they can take the bus for a lot less than it costs to own and operate a vehicle.

Before your student spends beaucoup bucks on things they don’t need, consider that there are cheaper alternatives that could save them from overspending. Teach them the difference between “want” and “need” before they head out on their own.

 

 

college guidance, college planning, in the news, parenting

Parents should encourage AP classes

The College Board released a press release and accompanying report related to the Class of 2012 Advanced Placement® results. While participation and performance increased compared to the Class of 2011, many High School students with potential for success in college-level AP® Courses still lack access. Parents of college-bound teens should encourage their students to take advantage of AP classes offered in high school. Following is a short excerpt from the press release, along with a link to view the complete report.

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UnknownNEW YORK — Ensuring that all academically prepared high school students have access to rigorous college-level course work that will enable them to persist in and graduate from college is critical for the United States to remain competitive in a global economy — particularly in crucial STEM-related disciplines. Educators are increasingly adopting the rigorous standards found within the Advanced Placement Program® (AP®) to help the nation’s high school students develop the critical thinking, reasoning and communication skills that are essential for college success.

Data released today by the College Board as part of The 9th Annual AP Report to the Nation revealed that more high school graduates are participating — and succeeding — in college-level AP courses and exams than ever before. Succeeding in AP is defined as achieving a score of 3 or higher on the five-point AP Exam scale, which is the score needed for credit, advanced placement or both at the majority of colleges and universities.

“By exposing students to college-level work while still in high school, Advanced Placement dramatically improves college completion rates,” said David Coleman, President of the College Board. “Today we applaud those educators who have worked tirelessly to bring the power of AP to more communities and more students than ever before. But we must not forget the hundreds of thousands of students with the potential to succeed in Advanced Placement who don’t even have access to its coursework.  If we hope to achieve our long-term college completion goals, we must ensure that every student has access to a rigorous education.”

Current research on AP course work confirms AP’s comparability to introductory college courses in content, skills and learning outcomes. Research consistently shows that students earning placement into advanced course work based on AP Exam scores perform as well as — or better than — students who have completed the introductory course at a college or university. In fact, students who succeed on an AP Exam during high school typically experience greater overall academic success in college, and are more likely than their non-AP peers to graduate from college and to graduate on time, experiencing lower college costs than the majority of American college students.

The 9th Annual AP Report to the Nation is available at apreport.collegeboard.org.

You can also download the condensed version of the report located within the press release:

National Release _ APRN_FINAL

 

college guidance, college planning, dorm life, organization, parenting

Tips for making the transition to college easier

Savoring the last few months of high school education, your student may get the ping of fear in the back of their mind to find the right college. Researching and applying to colleges has most likely left your student with stress, excitement and anticipation of the future.

Whether your student searched for colleges with online classes or universities that offer top-notch academic programs, the applications have been submitted and the wait contines? While you and your student are waiting for offers of admission from the colleges, here are some tips for making the transition to college easier:

You’re not there yet

Many seniors take the attitude that once their applications are submitted they can coast through the remaining months of senior year. That is not the case. Many colleges require a spring or final transcript and have been known to reject offers for admission based on that transcript. Encourage your student to buckle down and do their best these next few months. Colleges are looking for students that take their education seriously. The last thing they want to see are grades that have dropped since they received your student’s application.

View of a messy roomWhat you need to take to the dorm

Once your student gets into a university, it’s easy to forget half the stuff they need when moving day comes. For the bedroom and main areas, grab two sets of sheets and pillows, a trash can, desk and area lamps, a laundry bag or basket, storage boxes, a mini fridge and a coffee maker. Life isn’t complete without electronics. Remember the laptop, iPod and dock, headphones, alarm clock, TV, DVD player, cell phone and charger, camera and a microwave.

Cleaning is now up to your student, so bring along a vacuum or old-fashioned carpet sweeper. In the bathroom, they will want soap, shampoo, toothbrush and paste, towels, a comb and a razor. For their desk, grab some Post-It notes, a compact stapler, printer paper, note cards, pens and pencils.

Finding a roommate

Finally, the college may allow students to choose their own roommate. If they don’t have a friend lined up, they can find a roommate through roomsurf.com. They will be matched with potential rooming partners based on the results of a survey. They can communicate with potential roomies beforehand to make sure they’re a match. If assigned a roommate, make contact with them online by searching social media like Facebook, Twitter and Google. Contact beforehand allows your student the opportunity to plan and not bring duplicate items for the dorm room.

While entering college is exciting, it can seem overwhelming. With these tips, you’ll have a much easier time getting started and moving forward. Soon, they will be settled in and on their way!

 

parenting, study abroad

5 Reasons to allow your college-bound kid to study abroad

images-2Whenever it’s time for a child to go to college, it can already be hard on the parents. After all, it’s been 17 years (give or take a few months) of them living at home and relying on their mom and dad for their daily needs. So, when it’s time for your son or daughter to graduate from high school and they bring up the fact that they’ve been thinking about not only going away for school but studying abroad, it’s understandable why you might be hesitant to go along with the program.

However, there are actually benefits that come with a student making this kind of commitment and so if your child does present you with this option, we have provided you with five reasons why you definitely should consider letting your student study abroad:

  1. It’s a great way to see the world. As adults, we know how easy the demands of everyday life can keep us from doing some of the things that are on our own wish lists. College is the perfect time for a young person to get out and see the world by experiencing different kinds of cultures including food, music and architecture. It will create lasting memories for the rest of their lives.
  2. It’s an easier way to learn another language. Without question, it is professionally beneficial to be bilingual and one of the easiest ways to learn a second language is not by sitting in a classroom but being in a city where it is spoken fluently.
  3. It can actually enhance your degree. When a student goes overseas to study for a semester or two, there’s a pretty good chance that they will be able to take courses there that are not afforded to them in the States. This means that they may be able to earn a few more credits. Also, it helps to make their academic resume that much more attractive when it comes time to seek out internships and a full-time job.
  4. It gives broadens their employment eligibility. There are several studies that indicate that only about 5 percent of Americans ever go to another country to study on a college level. That said, with the job market in the States still as unstable as it is, studying abroad expands your child’s ability to be able to land a job following graduation. Being in another country is a way for them to not only make new friends and meet new professors, but to also make international connections; ones that they may be able to use for years to come.
  5. It matures them. Say that your child is enrolled at Ohio University, they are living on campus and it’s a couple of hours away from your house. Just by spending time in a different environment, they are going to grow up and mature in many ways. But when they are in another country, thousands of miles away, it forces them to have to mature at an exponential rate because they have to learn how to be independent in so many ways. Studying abroad teaches them how to manage time, money and other resources in a way that nothing else can. A child who studies abroad doesn’t just take classes in another country. They learn about a whole new way of life and that better prepares them for “the adult world” once they return home.
I completely recommend study abroad programs. If your student is interested, allow them to pursue this path while in college.
college guidance, college planning, parenting

5 Things to teach your kids before they leave for college

images-1While educators are largely responsible for seeing to the academic needs of your children (although you will likely have to help a bit), your role as a parent is to prepare your children in other ways so that they can learn to care for themselves, live independently, make good decisions, and become functioning members of society when they leave home and strike out on their own. You’ll teach them all kinds of life skills during their time in your care, such as how to groom and dress themselves, the rules of appropriate social behavior, and the value of hard work. But there are certain lessons you’ll want to impart to your kids before they depart for the vaunted halls of learning. Here are five things to teach your kids before they leave for college:

  1. Proper nutrition. You’ve no doubt been cooking for your kids their whole lives, which means they could leave home with little idea of how to feed themselves. Unless you teach them, they won’t know how to plan a healthy diet, shop for groceries, or prepare nutritious and balanced meals. But these are skills that you can teach your teens throughout their time in high school simply by making them help you with every aspect. Although they will have limited resources on campus with dorm rooms short on kitchen amenities, a thorough knowledge of diet and nutrition will at least help them to make healthy choices in the cafeteria.
  2. Organization. There are a couple of reasons why organization is an important skill for college students to master. First of all, they’re going to live in dorm rooms that are roughly the size of a shoe box, and most likely they’ll be sharing them with other students. The ability to organize one’s space will make this situation far more livable. But knowing how to organize one’s time is even more important to the harried student who has to juggle classes, studying, activities, internships, and perhaps even a part-time job. If you don’t help your kids develop these organizational skills they may sink when you throw them into the turbulent waters of campus life.
  3. Cleanliness. Sure your kids know how to pick up their clothes and put them in the hamper, but can they wash them? Chores like dusting, vacuuming, and doing the laundry may seem pretty basic, but that’s only because you’ve been doing them so long that they’ve become second nature. Your best bet to prepare your kids to see to their own cleanliness is to start assigning them chores when they’re young so that they form lifelong habits that will travel with them to college and beyond.
  4. Financial concerns. It’s surprising how many parents fail to impart even rote information about personal finances. Perhaps they assume that it’s covered in school. Unfortunately, this leaves many students facing a pile of debt or even damaged credit by the time they graduate. So talk to your kids about the dangers of credit cards and teach them basics like budgeting, balancing a checkbook, and preparing for taxes.
  5. How to reach goals. By showing your kids how to achieve successes through visualizing their goals, creating a step-by-step plan of action, using affirmations, building confidence, and adjusting course as necessary, you can help them to reach their potential. Whether your kids are eventually bound for Harvard Law or MBA online programs, they’re going to have to take certain steps if they want to reach their professional goals.

Parenting is much more about teaching lessons and setting examples than just funding their educations. Take the time to prepare them for college.

 

college guidance, college planning, parenting

5 Things parents should know about students and depression

UnknownHeading off to college is a fun and exciting event in the lives of most young people, marking the beginning of adulthood and their first foray into a world without parents to feed, cloth, and care for them (although you will no doubt be contributing for some time to come). Certainly there are stresses, anxieties, and fears that go along with leaving the nest, but most high-school grads are more than ready to get out from under the yoke of parental supervision and start figuring out who they are and what they want to do with their lives. In short, the good outweighs the bad.

But for some students, the dream of freedom can become a nightmare. Whether they’ve had previous bouts of depression or they experience the condition for the first time while they’re far away from home, they may fall into deep sadness, dejection, or even despair during their time on campus, for one reason or another. And if you fear that your college student is suffering from depression, there are a few things you need to know.

  1. Anyone can get depressed. It is a common misconception that depression only affects people who have a chemical balance, or those who have a history of the condition in their family tree. But under the right circumstances anyone can suffer from mild, moderate, or even severe depression. It could have to do with a lack of sleep and a poor diet (not just the cause of the freshman fifteen). Or your teen may find the workload, stress, and/or homesickness overwhelming. Perhaps there are social issues at play. The point is that you shouldn’t discount the possibility of depression out of hand simply because there is no medical history to support it.
  2. There are warning signs. Many parents are not informed enough to identify depression, but you know when something is off with your child. Luckily, there are common signs and symptoms you can look for if you think your student might be depressed. For example, fatigue on its own might not tip you off since most students are short on sleep, but if your otherwise sunny student suddenly seems pessimistic, irritable, disinterested, sad, or anxious, you might start to wonder if depression is to blame. And if your child begins to express feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, or worthlessness, or worse, has thoughts of suicide, the situation is reaching a critical stage and you need to intervene.
  3. Depression can be deadly. Depression is a disorder that causes people to lose interest in the things that once made them happy, and as a result, they may not want to go on living. You might think that this happens only in extreme cases, but when depression goes untreated it can quickly spiral into thoughts of suicide, especially in teens and young adults whose emotions are linked to hormonal changes (and whose limited experience hasn’t taught them that things will get better). It is therefore imperative that you take warning signs seriously.
  4. Stay close. If your college student is suffering from depression you need to make yourself available to help. This could mean calling every day to check in, arranging for both independent and family counseling, or even moving your child back home to deal with the condition. What you cannot do is let your child slip away when there’s so much you can do to help.
  5. Campus services are available. While some students may be unable to cope with both college and the onset of depression, others may be able to deal with or perhaps even overcome their disorder with help so that they can continue their education uninterrupted. And whether your student is at the University of Arizona or an Ivy League institution like Yale, you’ll find that there are services available on campus designed to help students suffering from depression that can ensure their safety and ease their burden so that they make it to graduation.

The worst thing a parent can do is ignore the problem. Stay attentive and listen, and above all, find help when needed.

college costs, college guidance, financial aid, parenting

How much financial support should you provide for your college student?

 

 

imagesIt is estimated that by the time a single child reaches the age of 18, his parents will have spent approximately $300,000, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture (which releases annual reports on family spending). And that doesn’t include the cost of college. Of course, this report factors in housing, childcare, food, transportation, healthcare, and a number of other elements. But it comes out to about $13,000-14,000+ per year in expenses for a child in a median-income household (earning roughly $60,000-100,000 annually in taxable income). Unfortunately, your costs don’t end when your kids head off to college. In fact, they could increase significantly. You’ll still have to pay for your own home, car, food, and more, but you’ll also be on the hook for additional living expenses for your kids since they are no longer at home, not to mention tuition, books, fees, and other costs associated with college – unless of course you decide not to pay.

In truth, you have no onus to pay for your kids’ college education. However, most parents feel that it is their duty to ensure that their children attend college so they can start a career and realize their full potential on a professional level rather than toiling away at the dead-end jobs that high-school grads are often relegated to. In short, many parents want to set their kids up for the best chances in life, and that often includes the advanced education and expanded job prospects that college can provide. But you might not have the money to pay for it all, especially if you have a limited income and a large family, and the truth is that you don’t have to. The only question is how much you should pay.

This figure can be difficult to determine. The government has some guidelines in place, which is why you’re required to submit financial information via the FAFSA(based on previous year’s tax returns) when your kids apply for federal financial aid. They expect parents to take responsibility for at least a portion of the expenses associated with sending their kids to college. However, you can always provide more or less, depending on the needs of your children and your own financial situation. A good rule of thumb, in general, is to offer what you can afford while still keeping your own budget in order. There are a couple of good reasons to do this.

For one thing, it’s important to teach your kids to live within their means, and you can set a good example by doing so yourself. This could mean that your kids end up attending a less expensive institution or living at home so that they can save on living expenses and put that money towards higher tuition costs at their school of choice. Or they might be forced to work a part-time job to pay a portion of their own expenses so that they can attend their dream school. Either way, you avoid financial ruin and your kids learn some very adult lessons. Whether you are able to send them overseas to attend Oxford or they stay home and attend colleges like the University of Cincinnati, the most important thing is that you be honest about what you are willing and able to offer in terms of financial support so that your kids can make an informed decision about their future.

college guidance, college planning, parenting

5 Things you can do to help your kids succeed in college

photogirl2Every parent wants their kids to succeed, but most flounder when it comes to figuring out their role in contributing to those accomplishments. It’s not so hard when kids are little; teaching them to tie their shoes, share their toys, and look both ways when crossing the street is fairly easy. But as your kids get older they may become more resistant to your efforts and advice, even when you’re trying to help them reach their goals. This is a natural phenomenon. As children enter adolescence they begin to develop a strong urge to assert their independence. This is an important part of forming a separate identity and figuring out who they are and what they stand for. Without going through this phase they cannot hope to become mature, confident, and competent adults. So to some degree you need to let them make their own decisions, even though it’s your job to keep them safe, rein them in, and give them a reality check once in a while. And of course, there are still many ways that you can help them to succeed when they get to college, even if they don’t necessarily want your advice.

  1. Planning. When it comes to planning for college your kids may need help studying for SATs and PSATs. You might not be able to quiz them yourself but you can certainly hire a specialized tutor to ensure that they get the best possible score (increasing their chances for both admission and scholarships). And although they may have their hearts set on a particular university, you must urge them to find other suitable schools and apply to several so that they have plenty of options. You can even arrange for campus tours to help them make this life-altering decision.
  2. Financial aid. You might not have the money to cover the entire college tab, but thanks to student loans, scholarships, grants, and other resources you probably won’t have to. That said, most lenders will expect parents to cover a portion of the bill, based on income tax returns. And you probably want to contribute to the ongoing education of your children anyway to increase their odds of earning a degree and finding gainful employment (rather than living in your basement for the rest of their lives). A nice bonus of helping your kids financially while they’re in college is that it can ease their stress level so that they can devote more energy to their studies.
  3. Emotional support. While most kids are raring to go when it comes to leaving home, many find the stresses of their new situation to be somewhat overwhelming. So whether they’re trying to cope with homesickness, anxiety, or social issues, you can help to keep them on track by making yourself available for calling, texting, Skyping, and other forms of communication, listening to their problems and consoling or advising them as needed.
  4. Professional connections. If you happen to know people in the industries your kids are studying for careers in, you can use your connections to get them internships or perhaps even part-time work during their college years. This can help them to determine if they’re on the right track even as they gain valuable experience (along with school credit or a paycheck).
  5. Room and board. If you don’t have the money to give your kids the campus living experience, you can at least offer them room and board for free while they’re in school instead of making them get a job to pay rent somewhere else. This will give them the freedom to focus on school without having to worry so much about money or spend their time working to pay the bills when they should be attending to their studies. Whether your student is starting at a community college, attending a nearby university, or studying from home with a program from http://www.onlinenursingdegrees.maryville.edu, their opportunities for success in college could increase dramatically if they live at home.

Taking the above advice and putting it to practice will go a long way in ensuring they will succeed in college.

college guidance, college planning, parenting

7 Things to LOVE about the college prep process

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imagesValentine’s Day always reminds us about love. But I doubt many parents, or students would associate love with the college prep process. Frustration, stress, angst would most likely come to mind.

I’m an eternal optimist and I can find at least 7 things to love about the college prep process. Hopefully reading these will ease your stress and help you see that there is much to love, even though you feel you are in the midst of a nightmare.

  1. Time with your student-The college process requires you to spend quality time with your teenager.
  2. Reaching another milestone-Applying to college signifies another milestone in your child’s life moving toward adulthood.
  3. College visits-Being trapped in a car for hours and days with your teenager is a godsend for most parents.
  4. Finding scholarship money-It goes without saying that scholarship monies help you feel the love.
  5. Celebrating life’s accomplishments-With every application students are required to list their accomplishments. This is a time for you to celebrate and be proud.
  6. Reading the recommendation letters-Feeling the love from the adults who have been involved with your student academically and personally should make every parent proud.
  7. Receiving acceptance letters-Feeling the love that colleges have for your student can be a proud moment in a parent’s life.

You would probably have a similar list of what NOT to love, but for today let’s “feel the love” and concentrate on the positive aspects of the college admissions process.