Category Archives: parenting

dorm life, parenting

Packing for College?

 

college-bound studentThere are plenty of things your student will want to take to college, including a massive wardrobe, appliances, furniture, bedding, bath supplies, decorations, and so on. Of course, if you have any knowledge of the standard dorm room, you know that all their stuff is not going to fit in the shoebox-sized space they’re allotted, especially since they’ll have to share it with a roommate. For this reason you’re probably going to have to pare down what they pack, and you should do it long before you start loading up the car. Consider compiling a list of everything your college-bound student wants to take when packing for college and then go through and cross off the things they really don’t need. But don’t forget to include items that they really can’t live without. Here are a few you’ll certainly want to add to the list.

  1. Comfortable bedding. College students are notorious for burning the candle at both ends, so when they actually have time to catch a few zees, comfy bedding is a must. Now, you might not think it’s necessary to purchase quality sheets, not to mention pillows, blankets, a warm comforter, and perhaps even a cushy topper for the mattress. But the more rested your student is, the more sleep he’s likely to get, improving focus, grades, and more. When you weigh the cost of comfortable bedding against the cost of a semester of school down the drain thanks to insomnia, you should be able to see your way clear to shelling out a little dough for the linens.
  2. Portable devices. A computer is great, but these days a portable device can provide a lot more use value for the average student. For example, a laptop or tablet (with a keyboard) can not only act as a dorm-room PC, but it can also carry an entire library of books (and other media). And thanks to numerous apps designed for college students, it can also be a notebook, a recording device, a way to deliver class presentations, a schedule, and more. In short, it can provide for all kinds of academic needs in a lightweight and portable frame.
  3. College cookbook. The freshman fifteen is more than just a clever quip. Students living in dorms have limited options for food preparation. Often, they are granted a meal plan, which can definitely help them to eat regularly and observe a balanced diet should they so choose. But many dorms restrict students to items like a mini-fridge and microwave, making it extremely difficult to eat healthy. So think about packing a dorm-style cookbook (there are several options to choose from) so that your student can stay on track with healthy eating.
  4. Noise canceling headphones. Living with a roomie is not going to be easy, even for kids that have had to share a room with a sibling. But the worst part may be listening to other students snore all night, talk in their sleep, or blast music or the TV as they fall asleep. Noise cancelling headphones can not only help your student to fall asleep, but they can also work for study sessions when a roomie or students on the other side of a paper-thin wall are making noise.
  5. Storage. Dorm rooms are infamously small and cramped. Dorm rooms like you see in the movies simply don’t exist, whether your student is at Texas A&M or the University of Florida. Ample storage solutions are a must. Vacuum-sealed space bags are an option, as are stacking and under-bed bins. A shower caddy, drawer organizers, and perhaps even a small file cabinet could also work wonders when it comes to maximizing usable space and keeping the dorm room free of clutter.

Summer is a busy time for families of college-bound teens. These five tips might help you with your to-do list and help relieve some of the anxious, stressful days ahead.

 

book reviews, college guidance, parenting, Uncategorized

Getting the best college advice: POCSMom

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One of the joys of posting on this blog is that I get to recommend other college prep professionals. Over the course of the last few years, I have gotten to know Wendy David-Gaines (aka ParentsOfCollegeStudentMom). She offers some of the best college advice from the parent community. I’ve read her book, Parents of College Students: Survival Stories, and I’ve collaborated with her on blog posts. Not only is she a wonderful person, but her knowledge of the college-prep process and issues that occur once your student enters college is second to none.

college survivalWendy is famous for exposing the cliches about college. After giving the cliche, she gives you the “POCS reality”. In her book, Wendy does this effectively by compiling actual parent stories. The stories (both from pre-POCS and POCS) are simple, light-hearted, often humorous and an easy read. But here’s the clincher–they provide parents with added insight into each individual situtation. For instance, Wendy has a story about college touring in her book. The cliche: different strokes for different folks. The POCS Reality: just because a parent likes a college does not mean his student will. The story tells about the often-experienced reality of a college-bound teen not “feeling” a campus like his parent does. If you haven’t experienced it yet, you will.

Here are just a few comments from parents who have read her book:

“The cliches used in this story don’t seem like cliches anymore. The way David-Gaines reinterprets them makes these cliches into lessons that may otherwise be overlooked for parents who are about to send their children off to college. The short stories are quick, easy reads. I read the book through from beginning to end, but you could start with any particular chapter or even open to a random page for a good lesson and laugh. I recommend this as a fun, enjoyable, helpful read for parents who are starting or already involved in the college process.”

“Being the Parent of a College Student (POCS) is hard work and can be very frustrating. I felt like Wendy had been with me on my journey through the college admission’s maze. Her book is very entertaining and packed with lots of helpful information whether you are just starting the process or have a student in college. I thought I would skim through it, but I was hooked after the first story. I wholeheartedly recommend it!”

Wendy doesn’t stop with her book, however. She authors a blog on her website, and she also writes for Examiner.com on a regular basis. Do yourself a favor and check her out on Twitter (@pocsmom) as well because she tweets great information for both pre-POCS and POCS.

Get your copy of her book, Parent of College Students: Survival Stories today!

 

book reviews, parenting

Toward College Success: Is Your Teenager Ready, Willing and Able?

 

About a year ago, I received a copy of Toward College Success: Is Your Teenager Ready, Willing and Able? Although I didn’t have the time to review it then, or pass the resource along to parents, I have since been able to take a look at it and it is an invaluable resource–a must read for parents of college-bound teens. This book is more than a college prep book. It’s a book that helps you prepare your teenage for life. It’s a book that helps parents guide their students toward independence and help them find the right path in life–even if it means that something other than college is a better path.

toward college successToward College Success: Is Your Teenager Ready, Willing, and Able? is a book to help parents of middle and high school students. This book prods parents to ask if their teenager will be ready, willing, and able to handle self-management, personal safety, roommate conflicts, personal finances, interactions with teachers, academic responsibility, and much more.

Included in this book are numerous interviews with parents, college students, school counselors and advisors, law enforcement per- sonnel, teachers, medical personnel, and school administrators. At the end of each chapter are examples of how parents can prepare their teenagers for a successful college experience and turn their students into confident,reponsible young adults.

A workbook accompanies the text to give parents, school administrators, and counselors an opportunity to put this book into practical use. It will allow counselors, PTOs, parenting class facilitators, and others to work with par- ticipants to develop strategies to help their teenagers develop the skills needed to succeed in college and life beyond high school.

Here’s a short Q&A about the book:

Q: What is Toward College Success: Is Your Teenager Ready, Willing, and Able?

A: It is a book to spur parents to evaluate their teenager’s readiness for college, then actively prepare those teens for success.

Q: Who does the book target?

A: The book is for parents of middle and high school students because the skills their teenagers need to be successful in college need to be taught long before college begins.

Q: What kind of skills do teenagers need to be successful in college? A: They need both academic skills and life skills. What kind of life skills?

A: They need time and priority management skills, conflict management skills, and effective communication skills. They need to know when and how to ask for help, they need to ef- fectively maneuver the college bureaucracy, and they need to operate on a budget and manage their money. They need to self-advocate and have the self-discipline to stay safe.

Q: What kind of academic skills?

A: They need to start college with strong study skills. They need to be able to write a well-researched and documented, accurate, organized, and well-written paper. They need to start college prepared to attend all their classes, read the assigned materials, and know how to take notes. They need to be prepared to pursue study groups, additional review periods, or other options such as seeking out their teachers when they have questions and need help.

Q: What can parents do to help prepare their teenagers?

A: Model behavior they want to see—both for academics and life skills. Parents should be involved in their teenager’s school by participating in parent-teacher meetings and similar events, judging their student’s academic strengths and weaknesses, and pushing them to get help when they need it. Parents should make expectations and rules clear for both academics and behavior, and follow through on reasonable consequences. Parents should give their teenagers graduated responsibilities, teach them to budget, and make them responsible when they make mistakes.

Q: What does it mean to be ready, willing, and able?

A: Teenagers need to be ready with the maturity required to face life on their own, the will- ingness to go to college, and have the skills they will need to be able to succeed.

Q: What if a teenager isn’t ready or willing to go to college?

A: Parents should understand that college right after high school is not the best path for every teen. There are lots of alternatives, including organized gap time, apprenticeships, working full time, the military, or a combination that includes taking a course or two at a community college. The most important role for parents is to help their teenager find a path to success.

Q: How was this book conceived?

A: The late Patricia Wilkins-Wells was a professor of sociology at the University of Northern Colorado. She grew frustrated over the years as she watched too many of her students fail because they were not prepared for their new learning and living environments in college. Wilkins-Wells asked Carol Jones to join her in this effort because of Jones’ writing and editing ex- perience, and because she worked as a secondary school writing coach and compositional aide. Both Wilkins-Wells and Jones believed that parents needed a resource to help them start prepar- ing their children to be successful in what they would encounter after high school.

If you find yourself asking these questions and struggling with your teenager about their future, P. Carol Jones has the answers and the guidance to help.

Don’t delay–Order the Book NOW! 

Read P. Carol Jones’ post on Preparing your Teenager for College

parenting, Uncategorized

Care Packaging 101

 

Last week, I wrote about putting together care packages. After being contacted by Doteable.com about their care package service, I asked them to write a guest post.

Here at Doteable headquarters, we spend all of our waking hours thinking about how to package care and love. We know how much thought and effort our parents put into, well, everything. Allison Tate, mother of four, writes:

“People, including my children, … don’t know how I walk the grocery store aisles looking for treats that will thrill them for a special day.”

She continues, “I spend hours hunting the Internet and the local Targets for specially-requested Halloween costumes and birthday presents.”

It’s stressful and time-consuming. Four ways Doteable helps:

college care package

  1. Relevant. We’re recent college grads, we were there. My mom sent care packages sporadically, and after the third flashlight I received, I thanked her – but, please, Mom: cease and desist. I heard this story over and over when talking to other parents, aunts, and uncles: we want to send our students care packages, we just don’t know what to put in them. Our duffels receive great reviews from subscribers and always include healthy surprise treats.
  2. Value.  1) We don’t operate a brick-and-mortar store with sales and real estate costs, and 2) our subscription model minimizes the cost of holding unsold products. We pass on these savings to our subscribers: that’s why our dorm duffels have a retail value of over $70 (pre-shipping costs, which we also cover). If you don’t like an item in our duffel, you can pass it on to a friend, guilt-free.
  3. Time. Allison Tate spends “hours hunting the Internet” for gifts. We are expert Internet-hunters and are more than happy to help free up your hours.
  4. Lend a hand. For every duffel we ship, we donate a pair of socks to a family in need.

Ultimately, we’re here to simplify the transition to college – for both parents and students. Below are our top five resources for transitioning to and thriving in college:

  1. CollegeConfidential.com
    I pored over the College Confidential forums before and during my college application process – but these institution-specific discussion boards are just as useful after you’ve gotten in.
  1. Course reviews
    Picking your major, what courses to take, and what extracurricular activities to participate in can be a daunting task for someone with two dozen different interests and talents.
  1. Professors
    Professors are intimidating, but they’ve been at your institution much longer than you have – take advantage of that wisdom! They are intimately familiar with the resources that are available and how to best utilize them.
  1. On-campus advisors
    It’s part of their job to guide you and answer your questions. And trust me, they love to be helpful. They too are well-versed in the various opportunities your school has to offer.
  1. Upperclassmen
    At the end of the day, you trust the people closest to you. Ask your upperclassmen friends for guidance: What courses should I take? How do I do well in those courses? What fellowships or internships should I pursue, and what do I need to focus on to successfully pursue them?

Taking full advantage of the aforementioned resources requires asking the right questions. Articulate what you want to accomplish long-term (think five and ten years out) and write out what you want to get out of a conversation before seeking out mentorship. This will help you figure out what questions to ask. I think you’ll find that people love being helpful if you come to the table prepared.

And for parents and students transitioning out of college life? Well, there’s always this helpful guide from the New Yorker’s Simon Rich.

___________

Giselle Cheung is CEO at doteable.com. She is a 2010 graduate of Harvard College and a former Morgan Stanley research analyst. She tweets from @doteable and is on hand to answer your questions here.

parenting, Uncategorized

Do you see yourself in any of these parenting styles?

 

I heard some new terms the other day to describe parents. These were new terms to me so I did a little research online. Parents have become so involved in their student’s lives they had to coin two more terms to describe parenting styles (the first you most likely heard of before): helicopter parent, snow plow parent, and bulldozer parent. I can’t judge because if I were to be honest, I have exhibited some of the traits each one embodies.

But, seriously, has it become so bad that school administrators (from grade school to college) have to label us? Apparently it has. When it comes right down to it we should realize that this type of behavior only hurts the student. Of course, the student may not see the harm. After all, their parent is rescuing them from difficult situations in life. But in the long run, it hurts their quest for independence and causes strife within the family.

The Helicopter Parent

helicopter parentsA helicopter parent hovers over their child. They keep tabs on their every move, text them 24 hours a day and have tracking apps on their smartphones to keep track of their child’s location at all times. Helicopter parents are ready to swoop in at a moment’s notice to help their child in any situation. Forgot their lunch—they take off at lunch to bring it to them. Forgot to bring a permission slip—they drop everything and bring it to them. Forgot to register for the SAT—no, problem; we’ll pay the late fee. Receive a text or non-emergency call during a meeting—they drop everything to respond. Overslept for school—they write a note to explain the tardiness.

The Snow Plow Parent

The snow plow parent goes beyond the hovering. They clear paths for their children and plow any obstacle that stands in the way of their happiness. Their children never learn how to advocate for themselves and head off to college to get lost in a sea of problems. As they get older, it’s harder for them to resolve conflict and overcome adversity. Honestly, I have to admit I did this with my daughter. The good news—I knew when to stop. The bad news—I did it much too long.

The Bulldozer Parent

A bulldozer parent is one who is involved in their child’s life, especially in school. This type of parent calls the teacher to complain about a grade they feel is undeserved. As their kids get older, they call the admissions office to plead their college-bound teen’s case for admittance. They spend the night in their son’s dorm the first week of college—the entire first week! (Yes, it’s a true story). Bulldozer parents bulldoze their way into their kid’s lives. They want to be friends with their friends. If their kids get into trouble, they are right there waiting to bail them out and make excuses.

How do we stop?

Be honest. Haven’t you been guilty of some of these? As with any problem you have to want to stop. You have to examine your parenting style and decide whether or not you are helping or hindering your kids. And once you determine the problem you should make an effort to correct it. Back off a bit, give your kids some space, and allow them to make mistakes and learn from them.

Always remember that an independent adult will be a functioning adult and a happier adult. You may say now you don’t want them to grow up, but when they are asking for your help at 30 you will be sorry you encouraged they dependence.

 

campus security, parenting

MIT got it right

 

If you’re a parent of a college-bound teen you’ve been watching the Boston Bombings and subsequent manhunt in “parental mode”. Quite simply, you are wondering in your student will be safe at college and what would happen if they are caught up in a similar situation at the college of their choice.

I can’t stress enough the importance of researching the college’s emergency procedures–before you sign on the dotted line accepting admission. The May 1 deadline is approaching so it bears repeating that colleges are responsible for your student’s safety and they should have policies in effect to protect your student while on campus.

MIT got it right last week during the acts that occurred on their campus related to the Boston terror suspect manhunt. They have an emergency website dedicated to notifying the student body of imminent danger.

MIT Alert Page

MIT shooting

On this page you can sign up for email alerts and, more importantly, text alerts. Students always have their cellphones with them and this function should be available to all students on all campuses.

When the shooting of the MIT police officer occurred, administration immediately sent out an alert to students to stay away from the area. They also notified students there would be more updates to follow.

These 48 hours of tension among the Boston community and their heavy college student population serve to impress upon parents and students the importance of their college’s emergency notification system.

Heed this warning if you’re concerned about the safety of your college student. Do the research and find out what type of emergency procedures and guidelines are in effect. It will provide you with peace of mind and help you sleep a little easier at night.

 

 

college guidance, parenting, Uncategorized

What to do when your college student’s grades drop

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college gradesWhen kids are in grade school, junior high, or even high school, parents have a great deal of influence when it comes to grades. For one thing, you have the ability to offer or deny rewards based on performance, including allowance, gifts, or even activities like slumber parties, trips, and so on. But you can also levy punishments for poor grades that include grounding kids, removing privileges, or taking away their toys (including video games and cell phones). And of course, they live in your home, so you can sit with them from the time they get out of class until they go to bed if that’s what it takes to ensure that they get their homework done. You can also call their teachers or even embarrass them by showing up for their classes to make sure that they’re paying attention instead of goofing off (chances are you’ll only have to use this tactic once in order to turn it into an effective threat). In short, you have many tricks up your sleeve to ensure that your kids work hard to get the good grades they’ll need for admission to their college of choice. But what can you do to keep them at peak performance once they fly the coop, head for campus and your college student’s grades drop?

Money talks

While you might not think that any of your old strategies will work once your kids head off to college, the truth is that you probably have a lot more sway than you imagine. This is particularly true if you happen to be paying for a significant portion of your students’ expenses. There’s nothing that says you have to put your kids through college, although of course, most parents want to ensure that their children have the best possible education and prospects for the future. The point is that college is a privilege, not a right, and it’s one that your students have to earn. So you should make the terms of your contributions conditional. Even though your kids might not be footing the tab for their time in school, they have to hold up their end of the bargain by receiving at least passing grades. Otherwise they’re throwing your money away.

Outline the rules and guidelines

What you need to do is enter into an agreement with the college-age kids in your household before they leave for school. If they want to have fun and waste time while they’re on campus, focusing on socializing rather than studying, make it clear that they can pay their own way. But if they’re willing to work hard for a degree and maintain a certain GPA, you should definitely do what you can to help them. Now, this is not to say that you shouldn’t give them a little leeway. One bad grade doesn’t necessarily mean they’re slacking – it could just be a particularly hard teacher or class.

Use tough love

However, should your students persistently suffer from poor grades, chances are good that they’re either clowning around when they should be studying or they’re simply not ready for the demands of a college schedule. In this case it might be time to cut them off financially or demand that they move home and attend a local college (where you can keep an eye on them) until they’re back on track with their grades. Further pursuit of education, such asHarvard Law or  a USF MPA online, means they need to make their studies the main focus of their time in school. And if they simply aren’t getting the grades needed to graduate, you might have to draw a line in the sand on your end so that they learn a valuable lesson about decisions and consequences now, instead of later in life when you’re not there to catch them and set them back on their feet. Learning this lesson before grad school or permanent employment is much easier while they have your support in college.

parenting, Uncategorized

Creating a college care package

 

care packageIf you think sending your kids off to college is stressful, just think how your students must feel, alone and solely responsible for themselves for the first time in their lives. While they can always call you up for advice, and you’re no doubt helping immensely on the financial end, the truth is that they will have to make their own decisions, and live with the consequences (or hopefully, reap the rewards of their good choices). And if you’ve done a good job raising them they should be able to face their conundrums head on and do the right thing. But still, they will likely be pulled in many directions, what with a demanding schedule of classes and studying, peer pressure to socialize, and any number of other obligations to attend to, such as clubs, Greek life, internships, and for many, a job. This can raise the stress level of the average freshman sky high. So when you start to hear that tremor in the voice that tells you a breakdown is imminent, here are just a few things you may want to throw in a college care package and ship off immediately.

Send a little piece of home

In addition to the other stressors college freshman face, many are beset by homesickness. They might not admit it, considering how gung-ho they were to get out of the house in the first place, but they’ll be missing your cooking, their own bed, and of course, you. Anyone striking out on their own for the first time is bound to miss the comfort and familiarity of home. So the first thing you might want to include in your care package is something you’ll know your college freshman has been missing. Perhaps you could mix up a batch of cookies, brownies, or another favorite baked good. You can’t exactly send frozen lasagna by freight and expect it to keep, but with proper packing your baked goods will certainly hold up for the couple of days it will take them to get from point A to point B. As a bonus, this type of care package will make your student a hit with peers.

Add a personal item

Next you should think about adding a personal item that your student may have left behind, something comforting like favorite quilt that family members use when they’re ill, or an old sweatshirt that has smells like home thanks to recent laundering. When your student is feeling alone and the pressures associated with schooling are high, getting an item like this unexpectedly can provide a welcome dose of familiarity that brings with it a sense of comfort and calm. Just knowing that someone is thinking about you and that they know just what you need to feel better can have an incredibly therapeutic effect, so don’t hesitate to forward a care package that includes one or two personal items.

Surprise them with an unexpected gift

Of course, you could go the extra mile by including a few new items for the sake of diversion. For example, you might pick up a new DVD or video game release that you think your student will enjoy as a way for him/her to blow off some steam. Or if there’s a band you both enjoy, create an MP3 mix and send it on disc. You could even include an iTunes or Amazon gift card. You might also add bath products or pre-packaged snack foods (healthy options, of course), which college students are always in need of. And don’t forget a long letter telling your student about everything that’s happening at home.

Whether your freshman is at Columbia, Northwestern, Boston University or Marylhurst University, the stress is bound to be high. So take your time and put together a college care package that is sure to bring with it the comfort that only a parent can provide. It’s the best way to ensure a happy, healthy student.

college majors, college planning, parenting

To transfer or not to transfer-that is the question

 

transferring collegesParents often have to make tough decisions where their kids are concerned. And while you want the best for your child, and that desire influences your every choice, even you have to admit that you don’t always choose correctly – parents are just people trying to do the best they can! At some point you’re going to have to let your teen take the reins and make his own decisions, even if you think he’s making a huge mistake. But as a parent it’s still your job to help him in any way you can. While you might not exert the same influence over a teenager as you did over a toddler, your opinion still matters. So when it comes to ensuring that your child end up at the right institution of higher learning, the one that will help him to maximize his potential and prepare for a successful and fulfilling career, the onus is on you, to some degree, to make sure he has all the facts needed to make an informed decision about his future.

Even with all your input and exhaustive research, he could end up at the wrong college with the wrong major. Here are just a few things to consider when determining whether your kid is at the right college or if he’s in need of transfer to a more suitable school.

What are the reasons?

There are plenty of reasons why a college might not end up being the best choice for any given student, but when it comes to your child you want to be sure. After all, this can be a fairly costly mistake, what with the complications inherent in transferring to a new school. As a parent, your job in this situation is to determine whether your college student is truly miserable and misplaced at his current campus or if he is simply making a mountain out of a molehill when it comes to complaints about his current situation.

Have your student’s interests changed?

You and your student will no doubt put a lot of time, effort, and deliberation into selecting the appropriate college. But things don’t always turn out like you hope. Even with the help of a comprehensive ranking system, information from school advisors, and visits to college campuses, your student may eventually discover that the school he has settled on isn’t what he wants, for one reason or another. Perhaps he’s looking for practical studies and it turns out that the program for his major is largely theoretical, analytical, or historical in nature, just for example. He may decide partway through that he wants to change his major to something that his school of choice doesn’t specialize in or that it isn’t highly ranked in, at any rate (this is more common than you might imagine). So if it turns out that your student went for a major in contract law when what he really wanted was an urban planning career degree, discuss this change with him and determine the financial consequences of his change of interest and/or passion.

Is this a rash decision?

It could be that your student has selected a campus that is far away and the homesickness is too much for him to handle on top of all the other stresses of entering college. If your college student asks to transfer, tread lightly. It could be more than the wrong educational choice. It could be homesickness, not fitting in, or even the feeling that they are overwhelmed. Make sure it’s not a temporary response to stress. Encourage them to finish out the semester and then make a well-informed decision.

If he discovers that the courses offered aren’t going to help him to get the knowledge and skills needed for his career of choice, then perhaps you should consider supporting his move to another school that can meet his needs. A happy student is a successful student.

 

college guidance, parenting

5 Tips for staying in touch with your college student

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helicopter parents
photo by Michael Elins, Newsweek

When your kids go off to college, mixed feelings of pride and anxiety are natural. You’re happy to see them come so far, but you’re nervous about how they’ll handle the new requirements of college life. Keeping track of their progress can help to ease your mind, but how can you do so without being too intrusive?

Following are five tips for staying in touch with your college student:

  1. Give Them Enough Space

    College students are taking their first steps toward independence and maturity when they leave home, and they need room to grow. Avoid being too overbearing with your students. While you’re rightfully concerned about them, they’ll benefit from the increased freedom of independent living by learning to face life head on. Have confidence in your kids and give them enough space so that they can develop into mature young adults.

  2. Don’t Be Afraid to Check In

    Even as your kids begin to grow up and live more independently, they are still your kids. Don’t be afraid to check in from time to time. If you haven’t heard from your young student all week, there’s nothing wrong with dropping a line to check in. Give your student a call, write an email, or even just send a friendly text. Many students experience feelings of homesickness when they start studying away from home, and it helps to let them know that you’re still around to talk.

  3. Start Using Video Chat

    When you can’t see your student face to face as often as you’d like, video chatting is a great way to get a little face time. Start using an online service like Skype, or make use of mobile phone video chatting capabilities. It’s much easier to see how your kids are doing when you can chat face to face, and this will help to keep your bonds strong even while you’re miles away from each other. Find a time that works for both of you, and chat with video to get as close as you can to a live conversation.

  4. Stay positive

    Keeping track of your student’s progress, as well as his or her challenges, is important. However, it’s also important not to ask the wrong questions when checking in. Avoid asking about things like homesickness or discussing the fact that you miss them so much you are miserable. Your kids will talk about these things if they want to, but many students are too busy to even think about homesickness until someone brings it up. Focus on the positive sides of college life when talking to your kids to help them stay positive.

  5. Make Occasional Campus Visits

    If you’re living in southern California while your student attends the University of New England, visiting campus on a regular basis probably won’t be feasible. Your student may also be happier with the time alone to focus on personal development. However, take the time and consideration to plan an occasional visit, especially on Parents Weekend. This will help you see how your student is living in college and help keep your relationship strong.

Be careful not to become one of those parents that hover over their student. Maintain boundaries but let your student know you are always there for them. Staying in touch with your student during college isn’t always easy, but remembering these simple tips will help you stay in touch and allow for open communication.