Category Archives: parenting

parenting, technology

What Parents Can Do to Teach Internet Safety

 

internet safety

The world has changed tremendously.

Decades ago, the word ‘Internet’ did not even exist in the dictionary. Now look at us:  Humanity now seems to need the Internet as much as the very air we breathe.

The birth of the World Wide Web has ushered in a plethora of possibilities. With a simple tap of your Smart Phone you can get access to any information, link up to anyone and become literally anything you wish to be.

However, as much as the internet has a lot of advantages, so does it have its cons.

Nowadays, children barely out of Kindergarten are granted access to the web. They are exposed to all sorts of materials without supervision and sadly most parents remain apathetic to the potential dangers lurking in the online world.

What can parents do to teach their children about internet safety?

Our children are the future.

They are the edifices to our foundations and as such, we owe it not only to them, but also to ourselves to give them a dignified and hopeful future.

In order to protect our kids from the dark aspects of the web, we must ensure that they are Cyber Security aware.

The first thing you need to do is to properly educate your children. Proper communication goes a long way so you will need to enlighten them about the dangers and risks of the online world.

Kids do not do what they are told, but imitate what they see

You cannot expect your children to follow your words of caution if you yourself continue to throw caution to the wind.

All too often, kids do not know how to properly create a safe online environment for themselves because no one has shown them how, so they would rather imitate what they see around them, and as a result, they could fall victim to all sorts of malicious schemes and plots online.

Children who reveal too much information about themselves online could end up being susceptible.  They could be stalked, bullied or worse: Their accounts could be hacked and they could become victims of identity theft.

Sadly, you yourself could unknowingly be teaching your kids to be vulnerable and reckless online.

At a young age, a child’s vulnerability is at its peak: They are easily influenced and ready to absorb information like a sponge.

According to Research, a lot of parents post far too much personal information about themselves and their family online.

This is not only unwise, but could lead to disastrous consequences.

What’s the solution? Practice what you preach!

The first thing you need to do is to work on yourself by educating yourself and engaging in good security practices.

Our kids mirror our behaviors. If they observe their parents taking the proper precautions like instituting rules to eliminating rogue downloads, they will most likely pick up the habit.

As a parent, you must ensure to introduce security concepts to your child and the earlier the better! A five your old is not too young to be taught the basic concepts of cyber security. All you need to do is to enlighten them in the most fun and engaging way possible.

Older children should not be left out. They should be taught to treat cyber security as they would real life security related situations.

Manage your child’s screen time

In order to ensure that your children do not stray you must remain vigilant and monitor their online activities.

Perhaps you could consider limiting the number of devices accessible to them; cut off the gadgets they don’t need.

Now, thanks to the improvement in technology, you can keep tabs on their activities on the phones and computers: Take for instance the Apple IOS devices and some Android tablets which allow restrictions on app usage.

Now, new Models of windows Computers and Apps come with built in parental controls which allow you to limit the amount of computer time each user account has per day and which applications they have access to.

Cyber security awareness isn’t something you could just instill overnight. It is a gradual process that evolves with time and Technology. The best way to stay safe online is to continue to engage in good security practices.

If a child is smart enough to work his/her way around a Smartphone, then he/she is old enough to be educated about cyber security.

admissions, editorial, parenting

It’s Time for a Wake-Up Call for Parents (and Students) about College

 

college

The college system is rigged. It’s time for parents (and students) to wake up and smell the coffee. Colleges are businesses and it’s their business to lure your student in, inflate their application numbers, and decrease the percentage of acceptances. It’s a simple tactic used in every business: make it more difficult to obtain and everybody wants it. These elite colleges have sold this view of success to most parents and students—”Get into one of our colleges and you’re guaranteed a great job after graduation, a wonderful life, and success.” It’s a bunch of bunk!

Applying to these colleges carries a steep price, and it’s not just when you get the tuition bill. The cold hard facts are that a small percentage of the best students get offered admission to these colleges. When your above average student who isn’t at the top of the applicant pool puts all his hopes and dreams into an offer of admission and the odds aren’t stacked in his favor, you and your family are in for some devastating weeks and months of disappointment.

In a statistical article discussing demonstrated interest in higher education from Social Assurity, Barnard College’s enrollment statistics were revealed:

Congratulations to the 1,088 students accepted to Barnard College’s Class of 2022. You are part of the most selective class in Barnard’s history. Barnard chose you from 7,897 applicants for an effective acceptance rate of 13.7%.

Barnard’s acceptance rate has dropped precipitously over the past four years. Twenty-four percent of applicants were admitted to the class of 2018, 20 percent to the class of 2019, 16 percent to the class of 2020, 15.4 percent to the class of 2021, and now 13.7 percent to the class of 2022.

Why do we allow our students to be used in this way? Why is it so important that they attend an elite university? Because for so many years, parents and students have believed the lie that says, “where you go to college determines who you will be.” And nothing, absolutely nothing, could be further from the truth. Where you go is NOT who you will be.

What your student does with the education he receives will determine his success or failure. It won’t be determined by the name at the top of their diploma or the name on the sweatshirt they wear for the next four years. The reality is there are thousands of excellent colleges who provide a superior education. These colleges change lives. These colleges provide students with degrees that work. These colleges provide large amounts of financial aid to all their students. These colleges give students opportunities to serve as they learn. They don’t have elite names on their buildings. But your student will receive a quality education at an affordable price.

Why would you want anything less for your student? Why would a parent make a decision to go into debt, encourage their student to go into debt, and destroy their retirement to send their student to one of these elite colleges? But it happens every single day as the colleges rejoice and applaud their efforts to milk parents out of a small fortune to educate (or often not educate) their student.

I hear these stories every day. “My student was valedictorian and he didn’t get into any of the Ivies.” “My student had a strong GPA, high test scores, strong leadership and community involvement and she didn’t get into one of the colleges she applied to. What did she do wrong?” It’s not the quality of the student, it’s the quality and the substance of the college list. They applied to the WRONG colleges!

Your college list can make or break the admission results. Apply to the wrong schools and your student will either not get accepted or get accepted and not offered any financial aid. It’s a guaranteed result. If you want this to happen to your student, populate their list with elite colleges. Apply ED to one of them and sit back and wait for the disappointment. It will most surely happen. If you want a different result, take a different course of action.

Lynn O’Shaughnessy, a college and financial aid expert, agrees and lays it all out for parents in her recent article: Getting Rejected From Elite Universities. Do yourself (and your student) a favor and read it. Do this before fall of senior year. Follow her advice (and mine) and expand your college list. Do the research. Choose the colleges that offer the best aid, the best education, and might not be on anyone’s radar. Employers don’t care where you went to college. They care that you got an education that prepares you for the work force.

online learning, parenting

Why We Need Private High Schools

 

private schoolsThere was a time when the United States was at the head of the class when it came to the quality of education in this country. As of January 2015, the United States ranked in 14th place out of 40 countries scored, and that is not saying much for the state of education in this country as it now stands. This was one of the major issues during our current president’s campaign and something he has vowed to ‘fix’ during his administration. Can anyone blame him?

Why the United States Scored So Low on the Scale

The debate continues on what we have come to know as “The Core Curriculum” and how this is holding our youth back from attaining the education they deserve. However, this is specific to public schools, for the most part, because private schools have much more leeway in how they teach, if not what they teach, per state requirements.

 

What Private Schools Can Offer that Public Schools Can’t

Private schools can offer a more open approach to education because they are not bound by the exact same laws as public schools are. While many may receive funding from government sources, private schools are not accountable to a county school board as are public schools. So, while all students must meet minimum requirements, private schools have the freedom to reach far beyond those minimums. They may even be able to do away with the Core altogether as long as their students can master the concepts contained in the Core.

A Misguided Mindset

With a national mindset of “No Child Left Behind” and minimum requirements in the curriculum, is it any wonder why our educational system is falling through the basement? Instead of setting minimum goals for students to attain, why not set those goals higher? Why not set up classrooms where every child has the opportunity to grow at his or her own pace? That’s something to consider and why a greater number of private schools are keeping their classroom sizes small enough to accomplish this.

With more one-on-one time with students, teachers can help them work at their own level of competency, and that is the way forward. Keeping a broken Core Curriculum is holding our future leaders back and why so many parents are thankful to have the wherewithal to send their kids to private schools. Wouldn’t it be nice if every child had that opportunity?

Raising up a New Generation of Educators and Administrators

The guiding light, the ray of hope, in all this is that there are forward thinking universities that are raising up a new generation of educators and administrators. Check out https://peabodyonline.vanderbilt.edu/ to see how we can change our future and why private schools may be one of the best ways to meet the challenges ahead. Sometimes it’s not about what we are required to teach our students but how we teach them that makes a difference. Whether or not the Core can be done away with isn’t quite as important as training teachers to bring out the best in their classrooms.

parenting, Uncategorized

Dealing with Senioritis (The College Dream Killer)

 

senioritis

Senioritis. Yes. It’s a word (and a disease). It hits most seniors the last semester of high school. It usually strikes after all their college applications are completed and submitted, and grabs total hold after they have received offers of admission. Senioritis says, “The year is almost over. I’ve been accepted to college. It’s time to take it easy and P-A-R-T-Y!” It is no respecter of persons and hits almost every senior at some point after they return from winter break.

What should you look for?

When senioritis begins, you might not notice the symptoms. It could be an unusually low grade on a test. Or you might notice she is studying less and less, with a complete lack of motivation. More severe symptoms include skipping class, a major drop in grades, and often accompanied by an “I don’t care” attitude. More so than your typical teenage defiance and resistance.

Why is it “deadly”?

Senioritis can “kill” your student’s dream of college. The colleges that offer admission are closely watching your student to see if she continues to excel until the end of her senior year. A drop in grades or even disciplinary action can be a red flag, signaling to colleges that your student isn’t ready to be on their own and handle the rigors of a college education. If she can’t commit and stay the course with all the adult supervision around her, how will she stay the course in college without anything except self-motivation?

Colleges have been known to withdraw offers of admission if a student exhibits any of these signs during the final months of high school. Hence, senioritis can KILL you student’s dream of college.

What is the cure?

A reality check. If you see signs of senioritis setting in, it’s time for a cold, hard conversation. Lay it all out on the table. Explain that colleges are watching. She won’t get a second chance. Once the offer is pulled, it’s pulled, for someone else who is committed. It’s a harsh reality check for most students, but one that needs to be made clear. The final months of senior year are just as important as the previous ones. Your student needs to keep her eye on the prize and realize once she walks across that stage with her diploma in hand, she can take a deep sigh of relief and spend the entire summer relaxing. Not until then, and only then, can she rest on her laurels.

parenting

Capture High School Memories Before College with a T-shirt Quilt

This post contains an affiliate link.

t-shirt quilt

We’ve been talking about it for years–doing something with my daughter’s old t-shirts. Too many memories to just toss them and storing them was becoming an issue. We wanted to use them and make a blanket, but we didn’t have the sewing skills to accomplish it. We researched options but they all seemed so expensive. Until we found Project Repat.

This Christmas I was able to give my daughter a gift of memories. When she opened the box, her face lit up. There on a quilt were her favorite t-shirts from high school and college days. A shirt we purchased on a family vacation. A memory of her 18th birthday trip to Six Flags. One she purchased during her study abroad in London and Paris. Another her brother purchased for her while he was in the Marines. Her sorority and college shirts reminding her of some of the best memories of her life.

When your college-bound teen signs that letter of acceptance from his or her dream college, she will be leaving home in the fall. Homesickness almost always sets in. It would be great for your teen to have a little bit of home with her every day. She can choose the shirts that hold her favorite memories from childhood and high school to take with her to college. The t-shirt quilt will remind her of happier times and comfort her during those moments when she misses home.

Click on the text below for a chance to win a FREE QUILT and a DISCOUNT COUPON CODE from Project Repat.

Yes. I want to order a t-shirt quilt for my college-bound teen.

parenting

What Are Your Greatest Fears?

 

greatest fears

What are your greatest fears as a parent?

The team at ASecureLife published survey results this morning, highlighting the biggest fears of American parents by state. If you’re a parent of a college-bound teen, you can add the fear that they won’t be able to handle life on their own to the list.

I thought it was important to discuss these fears and how you can help dissuade some of them for yourself and your teenagers. ASecureLife also points out that sometimes the biggest things you are worried about aren’t necessarily the biggest threats to your children.

#1 Fear: Accidents

Fear of accidents was the most common concern among parents that were surveyed—30% of parents said it was their top fear. This is indeed a valid fear, especially for parents of teenagers who drive. What can you do? Discuss risky driving behaviors like texting and driving and drinking and driving with your teens before they leave for college.

#2 Fear: Violence

25% of parents surveyed expressed that fear that someone would hurt or attack their children as their biggest worry. It certainly makes sense in today’s world that parents are concerned that their teens and college students could be subjected to any form of violent crime. What can parents do? Discuss what your children can do if they feel they are in danger. Talk about exit strategies and where to go for help and protection. Have serious discussions about doing things in groups and avoiding unsafe situations.

#3 Fear: Children Feeling Unsafe

Of the parents surveyed, 23% said their top fear was that their children felt unsafe. With terrorist threats and violence all around them, it’s natural for your teens to feel unsafe, but it’s your job as their parent to equip them with the knowledge and the tools to help dissuade their fear. Discuss what to do when your teen feels unsafe. Explain that she can’t let the fear control her and that she has power over her fear.

#4 Fear: Kidnapping

Approximately 14% of parents surveyed listed kidnapping or abduction as their greatest fear. Even though a small percentage of children are kidnapped or abducted each year, it’s wise to educate your teenagers about the dangers of interacting with strangers and how to be aware of suspicious people in or near where they are.

#5 Fear: Bullying

Bullying was the least commonly reported fear on the survey—only 8% of parents listed it as a top concern. However, national statistics show that 28% of students in grades 6-12 experienced bullying; while 30% admit to bullying others and 70% of young people say they have witnessed bullying in school. It’s important to teach your teenagers to be kind to other and intervene when other teens are being bullying. If you fear your teen is being bullied, have a discussion and take appropriate parental action.

So many parents and teens fall prey to fear. But the key is to face those fears, know the facts, and make a plan if any of these situations threaten your teenager.

greatest fears

Guest Posts, parenting

What If Your College Student Gets Sick?

 

Today’s article is from Beth Tofel, found and President of FootprintID. It helps parents easily store and keep track of their child’s medical records and share their health information with physicians, emergency responders, family members and friends—when they need it most.

footprintid

For those of us who have sent children off to college we know the anxiety and stress that comes along with the excitement.  The oldest child is often the most challenging because of the unknowns and then when the youngest heads off it can leave the quiet in our homes sounding very loud.

One of the things I hear so often is “what if my child gets sick?”.  For the first time we are not right there to “diagnose” what is wrong, speak to the doctors or nurses, or immediately participate in decisions related to a child’s health.

Worse than that, because of HIPAA laws, the doctors are not allowed to speak to us without our child’s permission.  I suppose that works fine for a cold, cough, or strep throat.  But what happens when the unthinkable happens.  Your child can’t communicate to give the doctor permission to speak to you.  This is not something we want to think about, but as responsible parents we MUST.

I spoke to a lawyer friend recently, who shared some of the stories she has heard when needed documents are not available in a situation such as this.  Sometimes parents are simply told to come to the hospital, but what is going on with their child can’t be shared.  They don’t know if they are arriving to find a broken leg, or god forbid, their child in critical condition.

What happens if your child has an allergy, takes medication, or suffers from a condition that an emergency responder doesn’t know about.  Or there is a decision to be made as to how to treat your child.  All of this information can be critical to provide efficient, effective and timely care in an emergency.

What do parents need to do?

So what do we do?  Most importantly we need to have each of our children, upon turning 18, sign a Health Care Proxy and Power of Attorney giving permission for us to speak on their behalf and participate in care decisions with doctors.

The next challenge is to make sure that those documents are available if they are ever needed.

FootprintID can provide a solution to the challenges outlined above and assist in closing the gap that exists in the sharing of health information.

All of one’s medical information and health history, including documents such as POA and Health Care Proxies can be stored in one HIPAA compliant location.  It is then immediately accessible to parents, the child, health care providers and emergency personnel.  The information can be retrieved via web portal, smartphone app or our 24 hour call center.

Here is a link to a video that easily explains this service and how it can be beneficial to you, and your child as they head off to college.

Why FootprintID Video

The college experience is made up of many components.  Academics are primary, but also learning to manage one’s finances, health, social experiences, life is crucial to the maturation process that takes place during these years.  If we can keep our children safer by knowing their medical information is on hand and allowing us to participate in their care, at the same time that they learn to manage their own health experiences, everybody wins.  As parents it would certainly help us sleep better at night.

college planning, college prep, parenting

College Prep Stress: Into the Pressure Cooker

 

college prep stress

I have a few friends whose sons are applying to college. The stress and the pressure students face regarding college is palpable. The question bears asking: How do you help your student navigate the process without adding your own college prep stress and pressure? Trust me; it’s not easy. Parents have their own kind of pressure related to college. Most of it revolves around the question: How will we pay for it?

So here is my best advice related to those two important questions.

How do you help your student navigate the process without adding your own stress and pressure?

You must in every circumstance remain calm. This is only one of many choices your soon-to-be adult will make in his life. This is the time when you transition from being a hands-on parent to being a supportive parent. I know that’s easier said than done. It’s hard after making all their decisions for 18 years to step back and let them chart their own course. But this act, in itself, will help alleviate stress for both you and your student.

Once you take a step back, the logical course for you is to become an encourager and coach. You can offer advice, help in the decision-making process and keep track of filing dates and deadlines, make travel plans for college visits and provide tutoring support if needed. This frees your student up for the important tasks: test prep, choosing the colleges, and filing out the applications. Your student knows what is expected of him and you know how you can help. Less stress for both parent and student.

How do you remove the money worries and stress around paying for college?

I can’t tell you how many emails I have received from parents whose students applied and were accepted to a college the parents can’t afford to pay for. The excitement of acceptance is overshadowed by the reality that the student won’t be able to attend due to lack of funds.

The only way to avoid this inevitable disappointment is to do your homework. Before your student applies, do some research about the college. How much does the college cost? What do students typically pay (this is usually not the sticker price)? Does it have a high acceptance rate? What type of aid does it award to students? Do they typically award a large percentage of their incoming freshman substantial financial aid? Is your student at the top of the applicant pool therefore increasing his chances of receiving merit aid? And finally, estimate your EFC (Expected Family Contribution).

After the research is done, how much can you afford to pay? If the college doesn’t award aid, can you pay the difference between the cost of the college and your EFC? Is your student willing to put in the effort to apply and win scholarships to help with the cost?

Once you have all the information, your student should only apply to colleges that are within your ability to pay with a reasonable expectation of merit aid if needed. It doesn’t make sense for him to apply to a $50,000 a year college if you don’t have the means or the ability to pay. Parents often feel pressured into letting their student attend and take out massive student and parent loans to foot the cost. This is not a wise decision and can cause added stress and pressure that is unnecessary.

There are also other ways you can avoid the stress of college prep. Read my article for TeenLife Magazine, Helping Your Teen De-Stress About College Prep, for some additional information.

college prep, parenting, Uncategorized

6 Ways to Prepare Your Child for College

 

college

Going to college is a huge milestone. It is a proud moment but it can be emotional and overwhelming at the same time. Therefore, you must prepare your child before they step inside those college gates.

Here are 6 ways you can prepare your child early for college.

Understand their Passions and Interests

Learning new things is more fun when kids are interested in them. Find out what your child is interested in and where their passions lie, even if they don’t necessarily fall within the realm of academics. It can be sports, drama, writing, etc.

For example, if the child is interested in sports, they can learn about the origin of a certain sport, evolution of the sport through history, etc. This will keep your child engaged and make learning more fun. Once they are clear what their passions and interests are, they can have a better understanding of which courses to pursue in college. Even if your child opts for online education, there are numerous opportunities to pursue the courses that interest them.

Prepare for College – Academically

Start preparing for college academics from junior high and high school itself. Some of the many ways your child can prepare for college include taking college-level courses and standardized tests as early as possible. This will help them enter college with more confidence.

Prepare for College – Financially

A college education is expensive, which is why you must be financially prepared for it when the time comes. The costs include tuition, course expenses, accommodation fees, personal expenses, etc. Start saving early and invest in saving accounts that offer tax benefits. It is also important that you keep an eye on the different scholarships that your child can apply for.

You can also consider online college education as an alternative instead of traditional college for your children. It is a popular, convenient and more affordable option as compared to traditional college.

Help Them Understand the Importance of College

The attitude of children towards higher education depends on the attitude of the parents. If you emphasize the importance of higher education, your child will take it seriously and focus on it through school and college. Start communicating the importance of higher education while they are still in school.

Teach Good Financial Habits

It is important to ensure that your child’s grades stay up and that they are focused on their academics, but it is equally important that they learn about work ethic and finance management early on. Encourage them to have a part-time job, about 10 hours a week, as it can help them increase productivity, learn time management, leadership and organizational skills. Teach them to be responsible about spending or saving their earnings. This will help them when they are in college.

Set a budget in high school and get them a checking account. Teach them to make smart financial decisions and ensure they know about credit card and debt early. If they plan to have a credit card, teach them to pay off the card each month and to only use it in emergency situations.

Expose them to Online College Courses

It would be a good idea to enroll your child in online courses while they are still in high school. This helps in saving money as the courses are inexpensive as compared to the college fee and your children can transition easily into college. Ensure that the colleges your child is considering applying to accept the coursework and find out what the basis of acceptance are (e.g., a minimum grade).

College is a great experience, so make sure your child is prepared for it, and is confident about treading that path.

_____________________________

About Author: Making education simple and easy to comprehend is Dana Jandhyala’s forte. She’s had a long career as an educator where she has taught in several different schools and institutes in multiple countries. Today, she helps students with personalized online tutorials by SchoolPage that help make concepts easy to understand, making learning fast and fun. She writes to help student s study better, and to coach parents so they can facilitate the success of their children. 

parenting

Tears, No Fears, When Saying Goodbye

 

goodbye

There will be tears. Oh yes, there will be tears. It doesn’t matter how many times it happens, when a child goes to college, you are witnessing the beginning of one of the most transformative periods in her life. You’re also saying goodbye to the nature of the relationship you once shared. But how do you say goodbye to them making sure they have the best start at their future they could have?

Have the talk

College life is different from living at home. For a lot of kids, it means taking on all kinds of responsibility they’ve never had to deal with before. It’s a good idea to prepare them on a few topics well in advance before they move. Financial advice such as dealing with credit, budgeting and the like. What they expect it to look like dealing with living essentials. Even safety. Make the scarier sides of college less scary for them.

Know what the college has in mind

You don’t want there to be problems as soon as you arrive on campus. For instance, know fully what items the College has banned students from bringing. Get an idea of campus events and talks on the first day so you can schedule to visit them in advance. There’s a lot of helpful information there. It might not all sink into your excited teenager’s head, but you can help them retain the important stuff.

Get your logistic hat on

Don’t forget that moving can be a rather big undertaking alone. Figure out in advance whether you can do it yourself or whether you might need the help of local moving services. Make sure you have a checklist of all their essentials, including any paperwork and documentation they’ll need to actually get their place in the dorms. You can save your child a lot of hassle and you can maybe distract yourself a little from your own apprehensions about saying goodbye.

Don’t pack everyone in the car

This is a mistake so many people make. Dorm rooms are not very big. If they’re moving into a student apartment, they’re normally not very big either. There will be a lot of families in attendance, so bringing the whole gang along can make things crowded and difficult. Let some say their goodbyes back at home.

Goodbye with love

It’s going to be teary; there will be hugs; there will be promises to call that quickly fall by the wayside. It’s important you leave things on a positive note and continue to play that note through their college experience. For instance, you can leave them with a care package with all their home essentials. It’s a good idea to do this semi-regularly as time goes on and to simply check in on them to make sure they’re acclimating well. Just the gesture alone is a sign that you love them and care for them wherever they are. Just don’t let the gesture get lost by the fact you do it twenty times a week.

Once you’ve done all of the above, there’s little else you can do but there for them. Call them, ask them to call you, keep in touch and keep them talking about their experience. Becoming their rock can strengthen that relationship and help them stay strong while far from home, too.