Category Archives: parenting

parenting

What Are Your Greatest Fears?

 

greatest fears

What are your greatest fears as a parent?

The team at ASecureLife published survey results this morning, highlighting the biggest fears of American parents by state. If you’re a parent of a college-bound teen, you can add the fear that they won’t be able to handle life on their own to the list.

I thought it was important to discuss these fears and how you can help dissuade some of them for yourself and your teenagers. ASecureLife also points out that sometimes the biggest things you are worried about aren’t necessarily the biggest threats to your children.

#1 Fear: Accidents

Fear of accidents was the most common concern among parents that were surveyed—30% of parents said it was their top fear. This is indeed a valid fear, especially for parents of teenagers who drive. What can you do? Discuss risky driving behaviors like texting and driving and drinking and driving with your teens before they leave for college.

#2 Fear: Violence

25% of parents surveyed expressed that fear that someone would hurt or attack their children as their biggest worry. It certainly makes sense in today’s world that parents are concerned that their teens and college students could be subjected to any form of violent crime. What can parents do? Discuss what your children can do if they feel they are in danger. Talk about exit strategies and where to go for help and protection. Have serious discussions about doing things in groups and avoiding unsafe situations.

#3 Fear: Children Feeling Unsafe

Of the parents surveyed, 23% said their top fear was that their children felt unsafe. With terrorist threats and violence all around them, it’s natural for your teens to feel unsafe, but it’s your job as their parent to equip them with the knowledge and the tools to help dissuade their fear. Discuss what to do when your teen feels unsafe. Explain that she can’t let the fear control her and that she has power over her fear.

#4 Fear: Kidnapping

Approximately 14% of parents surveyed listed kidnapping or abduction as their greatest fear. Even though a small percentage of children are kidnapped or abducted each year, it’s wise to educate your teenagers about the dangers of interacting with strangers and how to be aware of suspicious people in or near where they are.

#5 Fear: Bullying

Bullying was the least commonly reported fear on the survey—only 8% of parents listed it as a top concern. However, national statistics show that 28% of students in grades 6-12 experienced bullying; while 30% admit to bullying others and 70% of young people say they have witnessed bullying in school. It’s important to teach your teenagers to be kind to other and intervene when other teens are being bullying. If you fear your teen is being bullied, have a discussion and take appropriate parental action.

So many parents and teens fall prey to fear. But the key is to face those fears, know the facts, and make a plan if any of these situations threaten your teenager.

greatest fears

Guest Posts, parenting

What If Your College Student Gets Sick?

 

Today’s article is from Beth Tofel, found and President of FootprintID. It helps parents easily store and keep track of their child’s medical records and share their health information with physicians, emergency responders, family members and friends—when they need it most.

footprintid

For those of us who have sent children off to college we know the anxiety and stress that comes along with the excitement.  The oldest child is often the most challenging because of the unknowns and then when the youngest heads off it can leave the quiet in our homes sounding very loud.

One of the things I hear so often is “what if my child gets sick?”.  For the first time we are not right there to “diagnose” what is wrong, speak to the doctors or nurses, or immediately participate in decisions related to a child’s health.

Worse than that, because of HIPAA laws, the doctors are not allowed to speak to us without our child’s permission.  I suppose that works fine for a cold, cough, or strep throat.  But what happens when the unthinkable happens.  Your child can’t communicate to give the doctor permission to speak to you.  This is not something we want to think about, but as responsible parents we MUST.

I spoke to a lawyer friend recently, who shared some of the stories she has heard when needed documents are not available in a situation such as this.  Sometimes parents are simply told to come to the hospital, but what is going on with their child can’t be shared.  They don’t know if they are arriving to find a broken leg, or god forbid, their child in critical condition.

What happens if your child has an allergy, takes medication, or suffers from a condition that an emergency responder doesn’t know about.  Or there is a decision to be made as to how to treat your child.  All of this information can be critical to provide efficient, effective and timely care in an emergency.

What do parents need to do?

So what do we do?  Most importantly we need to have each of our children, upon turning 18, sign a Health Care Proxy and Power of Attorney giving permission for us to speak on their behalf and participate in care decisions with doctors.

The next challenge is to make sure that those documents are available if they are ever needed.

FootprintID can provide a solution to the challenges outlined above and assist in closing the gap that exists in the sharing of health information.

All of one’s medical information and health history, including documents such as POA and Health Care Proxies can be stored in one HIPAA compliant location.  It is then immediately accessible to parents, the child, health care providers and emergency personnel.  The information can be retrieved via web portal, smartphone app or our 24 hour call center.

Here is a link to a video that easily explains this service and how it can be beneficial to you, and your child as they head off to college.

Why FootprintID Video

The college experience is made up of many components.  Academics are primary, but also learning to manage one’s finances, health, social experiences, life is crucial to the maturation process that takes place during these years.  If we can keep our children safer by knowing their medical information is on hand and allowing us to participate in their care, at the same time that they learn to manage their own health experiences, everybody wins.  As parents it would certainly help us sleep better at night.

college planning, college prep, parenting

College Prep Stress: Into the Pressure Cooker

 

college prep stress

I have a few friends whose sons are applying to college. The stress and the pressure students face regarding college is palpable. The question bears asking: How do you help your student navigate the process without adding your own college prep stress and pressure? Trust me; it’s not easy. Parents have their own kind of pressure related to college. Most of it revolves around the question: How will we pay for it?

So here is my best advice related to those two important questions.

How do you help your student navigate the process without adding your own stress and pressure?

You must in every circumstance remain calm. This is only one of many choices your soon-to-be adult will make in his life. This is the time when you transition from being a hands-on parent to being a supportive parent. I know that’s easier said than done. It’s hard after making all their decisions for 18 years to step back and let them chart their own course. But this act, in itself, will help alleviate stress for both you and your student.

Once you take a step back, the logical course for you is to become an encourager and coach. You can offer advice, help in the decision-making process and keep track of filing dates and deadlines, make travel plans for college visits and provide tutoring support if needed. This frees your student up for the important tasks: test prep, choosing the colleges, and filing out the applications. Your student knows what is expected of him and you know how you can help. Less stress for both parent and student.

How do you remove the money worries and stress around paying for college?

I can’t tell you how many emails I have received from parents whose students applied and were accepted to a college the parents can’t afford to pay for. The excitement of acceptance is overshadowed by the reality that the student won’t be able to attend due to lack of funds.

The only way to avoid this inevitable disappointment is to do your homework. Before your student applies, do some research about the college. How much does the college cost? What do students typically pay (this is usually not the sticker price)? Does it have a high acceptance rate? What type of aid does it award to students? Do they typically award a large percentage of their incoming freshman substantial financial aid? Is your student at the top of the applicant pool therefore increasing his chances of receiving merit aid? And finally, estimate your EFC (Expected Family Contribution).

After the research is done, how much can you afford to pay? If the college doesn’t award aid, can you pay the difference between the cost of the college and your EFC? Is your student willing to put in the effort to apply and win scholarships to help with the cost?

Once you have all the information, your student should only apply to colleges that are within your ability to pay with a reasonable expectation of merit aid if needed. It doesn’t make sense for him to apply to a $50,000 a year college if you don’t have the means or the ability to pay. Parents often feel pressured into letting their student attend and take out massive student and parent loans to foot the cost. This is not a wise decision and can cause added stress and pressure that is unnecessary.

There are also other ways you can avoid the stress of college prep. Read my article for TeenLife Magazine, Helping Your Teen De-Stress About College Prep, for some additional information.

college prep, parenting, Uncategorized

6 Ways to Prepare Your Child for College

 

college

Going to college is a huge milestone. It is a proud moment but it can be emotional and overwhelming at the same time. Therefore, you must prepare your child before they step inside those college gates.

Here are 6 ways you can prepare your child early for college.

Understand their Passions and Interests

Learning new things is more fun when kids are interested in them. Find out what your child is interested in and where their passions lie, even if they don’t necessarily fall within the realm of academics. It can be sports, drama, writing, etc.

For example, if the child is interested in sports, they can learn about the origin of a certain sport, evolution of the sport through history, etc. This will keep your child engaged and make learning more fun. Once they are clear what their passions and interests are, they can have a better understanding of which courses to pursue in college. Even if your child opts for online education, there are numerous opportunities to pursue the courses that interest them.

Prepare for College – Academically

Start preparing for college academics from junior high and high school itself. Some of the many ways your child can prepare for college include taking college-level courses and standardized tests as early as possible. This will help them enter college with more confidence.

Prepare for College – Financially

A college education is expensive, which is why you must be financially prepared for it when the time comes. The costs include tuition, course expenses, accommodation fees, personal expenses, etc. Start saving early and invest in saving accounts that offer tax benefits. It is also important that you keep an eye on the different scholarships that your child can apply for.

You can also consider online college education as an alternative instead of traditional college for your children. It is a popular, convenient and more affordable option as compared to traditional college.

Help Them Understand the Importance of College

The attitude of children towards higher education depends on the attitude of the parents. If you emphasize the importance of higher education, your child will take it seriously and focus on it through school and college. Start communicating the importance of higher education while they are still in school.

Teach Good Financial Habits

It is important to ensure that your child’s grades stay up and that they are focused on their academics, but it is equally important that they learn about work ethic and finance management early on. Encourage them to have a part-time job, about 10 hours a week, as it can help them increase productivity, learn time management, leadership and organizational skills. Teach them to be responsible about spending or saving their earnings. This will help them when they are in college.

Set a budget in high school and get them a checking account. Teach them to make smart financial decisions and ensure they know about credit card and debt early. If they plan to have a credit card, teach them to pay off the card each month and to only use it in emergency situations.

Expose them to Online College Courses

It would be a good idea to enroll your child in online courses while they are still in high school. This helps in saving money as the courses are inexpensive as compared to the college fee and your children can transition easily into college. Ensure that the colleges your child is considering applying to accept the coursework and find out what the basis of acceptance are (e.g., a minimum grade).

College is a great experience, so make sure your child is prepared for it, and is confident about treading that path.

_____________________________

About Author: Making education simple and easy to comprehend is Dana Jandhyala’s forte. She’s had a long career as an educator where she has taught in several different schools and institutes in multiple countries. Today, she helps students with personalized online tutorials by SchoolPage that help make concepts easy to understand, making learning fast and fun. She writes to help student s study better, and to coach parents so they can facilitate the success of their children. 

parenting

Tears, No Fears, When Saying Goodbye

 

goodbye

There will be tears. Oh yes, there will be tears. It doesn’t matter how many times it happens, when a child goes to college, you are witnessing the beginning of one of the most transformative periods in her life. You’re also saying goodbye to the nature of the relationship you once shared. But how do you say goodbye to them making sure they have the best start at their future they could have?

Have the talk

College life is different from living at home. For a lot of kids, it means taking on all kinds of responsibility they’ve never had to deal with before. It’s a good idea to prepare them on a few topics well in advance before they move. Financial advice such as dealing with credit, budgeting and the like. What they expect it to look like dealing with living essentials. Even safety. Make the scarier sides of college less scary for them.

Know what the college has in mind

You don’t want there to be problems as soon as you arrive on campus. For instance, know fully what items the College has banned students from bringing. Get an idea of campus events and talks on the first day so you can schedule to visit them in advance. There’s a lot of helpful information there. It might not all sink into your excited teenager’s head, but you can help them retain the important stuff.

Get your logistic hat on

Don’t forget that moving can be a rather big undertaking alone. Figure out in advance whether you can do it yourself or whether you might need the help of local moving services. Make sure you have a checklist of all their essentials, including any paperwork and documentation they’ll need to actually get their place in the dorms. You can save your child a lot of hassle and you can maybe distract yourself a little from your own apprehensions about saying goodbye.

Don’t pack everyone in the car

This is a mistake so many people make. Dorm rooms are not very big. If they’re moving into a student apartment, they’re normally not very big either. There will be a lot of families in attendance, so bringing the whole gang along can make things crowded and difficult. Let some say their goodbyes back at home.

Goodbye with love

It’s going to be teary; there will be hugs; there will be promises to call that quickly fall by the wayside. It’s important you leave things on a positive note and continue to play that note through their college experience. For instance, you can leave them with a care package with all their home essentials. It’s a good idea to do this semi-regularly as time goes on and to simply check in on them to make sure they’re acclimating well. Just the gesture alone is a sign that you love them and care for them wherever they are. Just don’t let the gesture get lost by the fact you do it twenty times a week.

Once you’ve done all of the above, there’s little else you can do but there for them. Call them, ask them to call you, keep in touch and keep them talking about their experience. Becoming their rock can strengthen that relationship and help them stay strong while far from home, too.

App Tuesday, parenting

Watch Out for These Secret and Dangerous Apps

dangerous apps

One of the most surprising parenting moments for many of us happens when our sons and daughters morph into teenagers. Almost overnight, our sweet little ones, who once shared all their hopes and dreams with us, begin shutting us out of their lives. Suddenly, we are talking to closed doors and blank stares, grasping at anything that resembles the bond we used to share. This stage of development is tough on families for several reasons, but one of the most startling is the strained relationships between our children and us.

However, this shift in our family dynamics catches many of us off guard. As our teens desire independence and privacy we are often left behind, especially when we factor in their digital devices and smartphones. In fact, 70 percent of our teens actively seek out ways to keep us in the dark when it comes to their technology and social media usage. While we might be able to look at a child’s Facebook account, one area we should be concerned about is the world of secret and disappearing messages.

Secret and Disappearing Messages

Disappearing messaging apps are one of the newest trends to hit the social media scene and they keep evolving. These apps feature messages that automatically delete after being viewed. The amount of time varies depending on the app or settings, but they all promise that eventually the data will be gone. BurnNote and Snapchat are probably the most popular disappearing messaging apps that our children enjoy using.

Our tweens and teens enjoy using disappearing messaging apps, because they don’t keep a running list of all their activity, comments, likes, and friends like traditional social media giants Facebook or Twitter do. Kids are concerned about maintaining their digital footprints and view disappearing messaging apps as a convenient way to promote more authentic conversations. With these apps kids can stop worrying about creating a database of comments, thoughts, and activities that anyone can view or access.

Disappearing messages are one thing, but secret apps take privacy to a whole new level. Secret apps come in a wide variety of formats, but the premise is all the same. These apps create a benign cover that looks harmless to parents, teachers, or adults. On a phone, the icon may look like an ordinary calculator app. However, if you were to click it open, you would uncover a place to store information and photos you don’t want others to view. Often, kids will store sexts or x-rated images in secret apps.

Secret and Disappearing Messaging App Dangers

While disappearing messages and secret apps have some good qualities there will inevitably be some drawbacks to this technology. Unfortunately, the private and fleeting quality of these apps encourage our kids to make extremely poor content choices. These apps become perfect vehicles for bullying and sexting, because evidence of any wrongdoing disappears. Both of these offenses carry very real emotional consequences and have even been prosecuted by the authorities in court.

Although the lack of accountability and the threat of not being monitored is liberating, tweens and teens often forget anything sent over social media isn’t really private. While at first glance, this doesn’t appear to be possible with disappearing apps, children need to be reminded that everything digital has the potential to be retrieved, shared, or saved. Users can always figure out methods to save messages by using screenshots or other devices to click a photo.

dangerous apps

7 Essential Tips for Keeping Teens Safe

Thankfully, we are not entirely helpless. As parents, we can teach our children a few tricks and methods to safely enjoy disappearing messaging apps. Listed below are a handful of essential tools to overcome a child’s secrecy to keep them happily scrolling:

  • Teach social media etiquette
  • Keep all devices in common living areas
  • Prevent children from using phones in bedrooms
  • Have a child tell you if they witness anything that makes them uncomfortable online
  • Let kids know it is okay to say no to sexting
  • Monitor a child’s activity by friending them online or asking to see their accounts every now and then
  • Begin a conversation about the power of words

How do you keep your teens safe while they use dangerous apps?

parenting

3 Ways You Can Help Your College Student

 

college student

If you are a parent of someone in college, then you are probably keen to help them as much as you can. As it happens, being able to help your college kid can be easier said than done. But if you know the main areas where they are likely to want help, then you can do a surprising amount to do so. In this article, we are going to try and give you a head start on that, by looking at some of the main areas where your college student might need a little assistance.

 

Subject Choice

For some children, it is perfectly clear what they should be studying. This is usually the case for those who already know what career they want to follow, or what kind of topics they are interested in. But for many others, it is much less of a clear cut issue. If your child is not entirely certain on which subject to study, then this is something you can probably help them out with quite well. To help them here, encourage them to focus on their strengths as well as their enjoyments. This should lead them to choosing the subject that is best for them as an individual.

Essay Writing

A big part of college education is essay writing, regardless of the subject matter. Many children struggle more than they expect to with this part of the education, particularly if they did not have to write so many essays in high school. The leap from one to the other is often quite difficult to deal with, and you should do everything you can to help them in that way. This doesn’t mean that you should help them actually write their essays, of course. But there are resources out there which can help by providing an essay and thesis writing service, and these can be useful for new college students who are struggling to make sense of it all. 

Social Life

College is not just about education – although that is obviously an important part of the whole experience. Most kids who go to college will soon find that it is also a deeply social experience, and one which they will probably be a little anxious about from time to time. If you really want to help your kids adapt to college life, then helping them with the social side of things might prove to be necessary. If necessary, work with them on developing their confidence and social skills, so that they feel better equipped to handle such situations. Or it might be the case that they just need to dive into the deep end and get stuck into it. For many people, this is actually the best way to go about it, and it is worth considering if you want to really help your college kid make the most of their experience.

parenting

Investing In Your College Bound Teen

 

investing

Most parents like the idea of investing in their child. By putting money aside for your child, as they get into adult life, you make their future much more secure. Unfortunately, though, a lot of parents put their investments into the wrong place. Young people have a very specific set of needs. And, these needs can usually be met with just a little bit of funding. So, before you start putting money away for them; you should think about a couple of other options. To help you out, this post will be going through three examples of ways you can invest in your teens. But, don’t expect a high return!

A Car

It can be hard when your child leaves home. A lot of kids decide to move far away from their hometown, in the pursuit of a more interesting life. This leaves a lot of parents feeling like they don’t see their kids enough because of their new busy life. It’s likely that you child feels the same way, too. So, to solve this little issue, it could be best to simply buy them a car. This will give them the chance to come and see you a lot more often. And, it will provide them with some great benefits in their normal life, too. Having a car makes it possible for people to look much further for jobs. And, it will make the little parts of their life, like shopping and visiting their partner, much easier, too.

Their Education

The price of education is going up throughout most of the world. Unfortunately, though, the need for a good education is getting more important. Life can be hard for a young person who has to work to pay for their education. So, taking this out of their hands can make their life much easier. The price of studying something like an MBA online, to enable your child to get into their own business, is much less than what they will make doing the job. So, it’s worth helping them at this point. And, then, when you’re all older; they can return the favor and help you.

Their Interests

The last thing to think about this list is the interests of the child himself. Often, people won’t find their dream job through education. Instead, that will be the platform they use to start exploring. And, they will find their true dreams through exploring the things they enjoy. Unfortunately, though, this will cost some money. For example, you might find that your child loves both animals and photography. In this case, sending them to enjoy a wildlife photography session with an instructor could inspire them to work harder on their passion. It’s easy to find things like this; if you know your child well enough.

Hopefully, this will inspire you to start working harder on your child’s future. Investing in your child isn’t the sort of investment you make to get money out of it. Instead, you do this a labour of love for your kids.

parenting

Recognizing the Signs of Depression In Your Teenager

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signs of depression

We all have low days. People let us down, and life doesn’t seem to go our way. Depressing, isn’t it. These days are common to all of us, but usually, we can snap out of it, find a positive and move on. However, it is important for you to know, being depressed because of a bad day is not the same as having depression. For your teenager, issues around self-image and bullying can compound the problem.

It is possible that you have an understanding of what depression means. You may suffer from it yourself, or know somebody else who does. If this is your child, it is a misconception to assume they can just get a grip and snap out of it. Thankfully, most people now recognize the illness as something real, but there are still those who cannot get their heads around it. Unless you have experienced depression, it can be hard to empathize with those who do.

Why do young people get depressed?

There are many reasons. Bullying is rife among social media, and vile messages posted online are not easy to get rid of. The pressure of tests and exams can play a part too, as is the pressure of transitioning to adult life.

Medical professionals suggest chemical imbalance plays a part and this is why anti-depressant tablets are often subscribed, balancing the chemicals in the brain to regulate a person’s moods. Exercise, healthy eating and rest also play a part in alleviating some of the symptoms of depression, but there is still no hard and fast answer to the cause.

What can you do to help?

As always, be there to support your child. Don’t pretend to know they feel or put pressure on them. That doesn’t mean you can’t be a little sympathetic, however, and offer yourself as somebody to talk too when they need to.

Don’t give advice you are not qualified to offer. Instead, seek help from your doctor or school professional if you are worried. If your child needs space, give it to them, but considering many people with depression suffer from suicidal thoughts you still need to be vigilant.

Depression is real and often has dire consequences

Teenagers are especially susceptible to depression. Stress over college. Conflict with other teenagers, boyfriends and girlfriends. Bullying and harassment from fellow students. As evidenced by the popularity of the Netflix series, 13 Reasons Why, it’s time for parents to start paying attention. Don’t bury your head in the sand and say it can’t happen to your child. Don’t turn away and hope the problem resolves itself. If you don’t want your teenager to be a victim, be an involved parent.

If you want to spend more time studying the illness, you can take a masters in clinical mental health counseling online. The more educated you are, the better equipped you will be to help your teenager and others.

admissions, careers, college planning, parenting

Key Questions to Ask Your Student Before College

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key questions

As a loving parent, aiding your child’s educational development is a priority at all times. Helping them gain the strongest foothold in college is undoubtedly the greatest support you could ever provide. Rather than forcing them, though, it’s imperative that your child gains the motivation and traits needed to do it for themselves. Here are some key questions that will enable you to achieve that goal of pointing them in the right direction. Get this right, and they should gain a far better chance of reaching their potential.

Q: What careers interest you?

A lack of direction is perfectly normal throughout those school years. In truth, it’s probably a good thing that your son or daughter spent this time embracing various aspects of life. However, college is a time to focus on a profession. After all, following a career in the medical industry is far different to becoming a lawyer for example. In today’s climate, many graduates do change their mind upon completion of their degrees. As such, making this choice probably isn’t as crucial as it once was. Nevertheless, studying in the right field will give your child a far better chance of reaching the top. Careful consideration is key.

Q: How will you stand out on your college application?

The competition for college places is higher than ever. Naturally, a better institution results in a better education for your child. So if you want them to receive the best, it’s imperative that they go the extra mile to stand out from the crowd. Whether applying to an ivy league school or another college doesn’t matter. Grades alone won’t be enough, which is why hiring an education consultant could be one of the best steps you ever make. By taking applications to the next level, your son or daughter will be in a far stronger position. In the meantime, it should enable them to place greater focus on their exams and school work too.

Q: How will you supplement your academics?

Education is a great platform for any successful career. However, the volume of graduates means that even a first class degree won’t guarantee a grad role. Therefore, your son or daughter should think about part-time or voluntary roles that can be used to supplement their studies. Let’s face it; the skills gained from those roles will aid their development for the course too. The key is to find the right balance so that it doesn’t stop them from achieving their academic goals. Apart from anything else, this is a great chance for them to create useful connections. With a little bit of luck, this could open up a number of doors later on.

Q: Are you ready to live independently in college?

 The college life isn’t exclusively about education. Gaining the best degree possible should be your child’s priority at all times. But there’s no doubt that their standard of living throughout those college years will have a huge influence on their ability to succeed. So, teaching your child the fundamental skills of cooking, cleaning, and financial management will serve them very well. Without that life knowledge, those struggles will cause negative impacts on their studies. Besides, it’ll allow them to focus on the development of other key skills that are born from spending time at college.