Happy 4th of July – Independence Day to everyone! For parents who want to do their own college prep and declare their independence, it’s your lucky day.
I’ve recently updated my Parenting for College Crash Course and in honor of the 4th of July, it’s on sale for just $44. Regular price is $69.
For a detailed look at what the Crash Course includes, simply CLICK HERE and it will take you to my product page. There you can easily purchase the Crash Course and download after purchase.
The sale is good until July 9th. After that, it goes back up to my regular price of $69.
Every parent knows about tuition, room, board, books, and other college-related expenses once your student is accepted. But what about the costs prior to being accepted to college? How can you score some fee waivers, free advice, and free tutoring. Let’s face it—every little bit helps when you are saving for a college education and cutting costs can put more in the college savings piggy bank! Take advantage of these free pre-college costs.
Fee Waivers
With all the standardized tests, AP exams, and college application fees, those fees can add up. Not everyone qualifies for fee waivers, but it’s worth asking.
On top of those fee waivers, there are colleges that don’t require application fees:
America’s 25 Top Colleges With No Application Fees
Most parents aren’t going to be all that hands-on with the kind of living environment that their kid makes for themselves while they’re out at college. However, if they’re looking to study more effectively, then it’s important to realize just how crucial their surroundings are for that. Here are a few tips to help them create an environment much better suited to their aims.
A comfortable place to study is key
First of all, you need to make sure those physical needs are taken care of. If studying involves poring over the books or working at the PC on a desk, then you have to make sure that can be done comfortably. Look at some of the ergonomic chairs at Chair Office that you could potentially invest in. Make sure there’s plenty of lighting to contrast any screen lights to prevent eyestrain, too.
As parents, we all want the best for our children’s education. That’s why we often spend a fair amount of time selecting the right school based on everything from school table ratings to student testimonials. Yet, after these initial attempts to get schooling right, it’s surprising how many parents sit back and assume that their children will go on to flourish.
Unfortunately, as many parents go on to realise, not all children are created equal – a school situation that’s ideal for one could well hold another very much at the back of the class. In this respect, it doesn’t matter how highly rated or competitive your school of choice; the chances are that outside help from an English tutor or similar would still benefit your child. Far from being a sign that you made the wrong schooling choice, this is simply a testament to the different ways in which children learn and can fast help your child get back on track if you act quickly.
Here, we’re going to help you do just that by considering a few of the most obvious signs that your child could benefit from outside assistance like this.
I’ll admit (willingly) that I like to offer my unsolicited advice to my children. Even though they are grown, I feel the need to continue to parent. As they did when they were younger, they smile, listen, and then do things their own way. It’s a type of dance parents and kids do with one another.
The hardest part of parenting during college prep is finding a balance in your parenting. You want to encourage them, guide them and help them make the right choices. But when you push too hard, nag and set guidelines that interfere with their independence and individual choices you create a stressful and frustrating college preparation experience. This is a monumental step in your child’s life and you don’t want to taint it with fighting, frustration and family discourse.
Common sense isn’t a flower that grows in everyone’s garden.
Following are 5 tips for parents of college-bound teens (based around good old southern truisms) to keep peace in the home and reduce the stress related to the college admissions process:
This article was originally written for University Parent as a part of their parent program.
Everyone likes a good bargain.
We rush out on Black Friday to get the best deals for Christmas — we stand in line in the freezing cold to save money! But do parents put as much effort and attention into finding a college bargain? Student debt statistics would say they don’t. Would you want your student graduating from college saddled with that debt? I imagine not!
College bargains do exist and if you have a student who intends to start college in the fall, it’s your job as a parent to point him in their direction. College is a huge consumer purchase which you can and should approach much as you would the purchase of a home or car. Do your research, compare the prices, and help your student choose a school that gives you the best bang for your buck.
One of my favorite movies is Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House. In it, Mr. Blandings tells his lawyer that “some purchases you make with your heart and not your head.” As I said, I love the movie, but this is bad advice. When it comes to your college “purchase,” use your head first and then listen to your heart.
I understand that it can be challenging to get students to look at the college choice from this point of view. When my daughter was applying, all her choices were east coast private schools with huge price tags. As a parent, I wanted her to have her dream but, also as her parent, I wanted her to graduate without being burdened with debt. Her heart told her to go to the college that offered the least amount of merit aid. Her head, after a long “money talk” and re-evaluation of her second choice, led her to a school that allowed her to graduate with a small amount of student loan debt. She’s grateful every day that I guided her in that direction.
For decades, it’s been widely accepted that applying to college is a hard, stressful and time-consuming process. Students can easily spend months on university preparation and the application process, as well as thousands of dollars in application fees. Parents aren’t always sure which universities are the best fit for their students’ needs and qualifications. The anxiety is real, and when students receive rejection letters, it can be crushing.
All the experts have advice on how many schools to apply to: some say 7, some say 10 and others say the more you apply to the better your chances. For me, the number isn’t as important as the content. A good college list needs to be well thought out and researched.
A good college list should have three “fit” criteria: financial fit, academic fit, and emotional fit. Once your student has a tentative list, ask if they have all three criteria before finalizing the list.
Financial Fit
Does the college fit into your family’s budget? If it doesn’t fit financially, cross it off the list. While you should never consider a college solely based on the sticker price, you should certainly examine what will happen if your student is accepted and doesn’t receive any financial aid. Remember when factoring in cost, don’t forget about the add-ons. They can add up and have a substantial effect on your budget.
Academic Fit
Does the college fit into your student’s academic aspirations? This might seem like a no-brainer, but the education is a key factor in attending college. Cross the college off the list if it doesn’t fit into your student’s academic learning style. For instance, is your student looking for smaller class sizes and strong relationships with his professors? A larger university won’t offer this.
Emotional fit
Can your student see himself attending college there? When he visited the campus, did it “feel” right and did he have a rapport with the students he came in contact with? You might think college shouldn’t be an emotional decision, but it is. After all, they will be spending at least four years of their lives there. If they don’t fit into the social climate they will be miserable.
Where does your student fit?
Another thing to consider is positioning. Is your student positioned well with the other applicants, especially if you are looking for merit aid. Are their scores, grades, and achievements good enough to put them at the top of the applicant pool?
As you can easily see, there’s more to refining a college list than picking a college with Greek life or college sports rankings. It’s a place your student will call home and he needs to feel comfortable there. Once you’ve determined if the college has all three criteria, add it to the list. It’s a keeper!
It’s hard. I know. I’ve been there. You want your student to have the BEST education available. You want them to want it as much as you do. You see them making some choices that you know they will regret. As hard as you try, you find yourself pressuring them to make the right choice and the battle lines are drawn. They dig their heels in. You dig your heels in. And the tug of war begins.
What’s a parent to do when you feel your college-bound teens are making the wrong choices related to college? Take a deep breath and read these examples (along with my suggestions). Parenting for college can and probably will be a struggle.
Your college-bound teen tells you he doesn’t want to go to the college that is hard to get into and is opting for what you consider to be sub par.
Don’t panic or overreact. It’s possible he is scared. Try and ascertain the reasoning behind the decision. Don’t do this by badgering him or constantly asking him why. The best way to figure out what is wrong is to LISTEN. Listen to him talk about his day, about college, about how he feels. If fear is not the reason, perhaps he feels the other college would be a better fit. If that’s the case, do yourself a favor and back off. The worst thing you can do with a teenager is force him into a decision he feels is wrong. Sometimes the best lessons we learn are the ones that come from making our own decisions (right or wrong).
Your college-bound teen tells you that he simply MUST go to Private College A, even though she knows it comes with a high price tag.
Don’t let her bully you into sending her to a college you can’t afford AND one that will require a tremendous amount of student loan debt. Sit her down and explain to her the dangers of graduating in debt. Use the college repayment calculators if you have to. If she truly wants to go to Private College A, she needs to do the work (good grades, good SAT/ACT scores, great essay) to be awarded scholarship/grant money from that college.
It’s also worth considering that a private college may be similar in cost to a public university. Since many private colleges have generous alumni that donate, they often award large merit scholarships. Public universities are not as generous with aid.
Your college-bound teen is not interested in college, deadlines, studying for the SAT or any other path that leads him toward higher education.
If there is one thing I learned with both of my kids (and clients), if they aren’t invested in the college process they won’t be invested in college. Save yourself some time, money and heartache and wait until they are. If not, they can learn from the college of hard knocks–minimum wage jobs are the BEST motivator!
It’s also important to note that not every student is meant for college. There are, indeed, other options. Many have taken those different paths and been perfectly successful and happy. It could be time to consider alternatives to college.
Your college-bound teen misses deadlines, panics and comes running to you at the last minute to fix it.
The simplest way I know to avoid missing deadlines, is to get yourself a huge wall calendar and a fat red marker. Put it in a place that they have to pass by every single day. In addition, with all the smartphones and calendar apps available today, missing a deadline should be a thing of the past. At some point (hopefully when they go to college), they will have to fix their own problems. Let them do it now, while they live at home, and it will be easier for them once they are gone. Rescuing your kids all time only makes them into dependent adults and colleges aren’t impressed with those type of students or the parents that come with them.
Your college-bound teen suddenly announces she is not ready for college and wants to take a year off.
First of all, wait. Don’t react. Just listen. Odds are the mood will change with the wind and once all her friends are making college plans, that desire that she once had will kick back in. If not, let her know that it won’t be a “free-ride” year.
With the pandemic, gap years are becoming prevalent. Your student can use the time to investigate career options, work at an internship, volunteer in the community, or simply work and save money toward college.
If you have any questions or personal experiences you would like to share, please leave a comment here and share it with other parents. We learn from each other and from our mistakes and successes!
The world we now live in is resoundingly different than the world we grew up in. Applying to college has become the norm and parents and students take it seriously. The competition to get into college can be overwhelming at times for both parents and students.
Parenting has changed
In the 50’s, our parents let us have the run of the neighborhood. We rode our bikes everywhere, walked home from school alone, and rode the bus to the movies alone. In the summer, we left the house early in the morning and returned home in time for dinner. Our teachers terrified us and we knew if we misbehaved, our parents would back them up. There were no car seats or safety belts. You would never find anti-bacterial soap or even consider using it. When we turned 18, we either went to college or got a full-time job and moved out of the house.
began to change. Because of Adam Walsh, we watched our kids like a hawk. We weren’t quite ready to take away their freedom, but we worried. We worried about where they were, who they were with, and what dangers they might encounter when they were at school, outside, and at the mall. Parents began to question a teacher’s authority and loosened the grip on the discipline of their children. Spanking became taboo and “time out” emerged as a parenting technique.
At the beginning of the 21st century helicopter parenting emerged. It’s not like we planned for it to happen. It just did. We sheltered our children from any disappointment. Everyone on the team got a trophy. There were no winners or losers. We questioned all school authority. We would never consider letting them walk home alone or play outside without supervision. If they forgot their lunch, we took it to them. If they left their homework at home, we took it to school. We began to make every decision for them and protect them from every consequence. We began to feel the “parent peer pressure” for our children to be the best and the greatest. If they graduated from college and couldn’t find a job, they came home to live and thus the term “boomerang” generation was born.
How do you walk the tightrope of helicopter parenting?
How do we raise our children in this frightening world without overprotecting them from the disappointments and trials of life? What are the long-term risks of helicopter parenting?
Combine a little of the 50’s parenting, some of the 80’s style of parenting, and a very small amount of the 21st century parenting for the perfect parenting balance. There’s a fine line between cautious parenting and being a helicopter mom.
Ask yourself this question–Do you want your children to be independent successful adults or do you want them living in your basement for years and years depending on you to pay their bills and take care of them? Is it conceivable they will be going off to college and surviving alone, or calling you every day crying for help, or needing assistance with every life task? Will they be running home because they simply can’t survive without you?
My guess–your answers to every one of these questions would be a resounding NO!
