Category Archives: college guidance

college guidance

The Pros and Cons of Moving Away to College

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collegeOne of the biggest decisions a young person has to make is what college to go to. Do you spread your wings and go to a school further out from where you live, or even overseas? Or do you stay home and keep your focus under the watchful eye of your parents? Here are some pros and cons to consider.

Pros: access to the best schools and/ or courses

One of the biggest advantages to moving away to university is to go and study at the best school or course that you can. Different universities are renowned for different things, and if you’re able to get accepted then it makes sense that you’d choose the best school that you can. Do your research, and apply to the schools that offer what you’re looking for with your expected grades. You will receive an instant rejection, or a offer based on you achieving the results you’ve stated.

Cons: homesickness

Even though you’re officially an adult when you go away to university, some students can experience serious homesickness. This can impact your mental health as well as your studies. It’s always worth giving these things a go, you might surprise yourself and with communication these days being so good you can always video call back home. Just be aware that if things get

Pros: learning independence

Going away to university isn’t just about earning a qualification. While of course this is the most important thing, moving to university helps you to learn about yourself as well as improve your education and job prospects. For most young people, moving away to college is the first time they’ve lived away from home. Being away from the security and regulation of your parents home can help you discover more about yourself, it helps you to grow up and learn responsibility since it’s the opportunity to stand on your own two feet. You’ll need to be able to organize your time, your finances, you’ll need to learn how to keep your accommodation clean, your clothes clean, you’ll need to learn to feed yourself. Moving to university is like a crash course in adulthood, and having these skills when you graduate can really set you on a good path for the rest of your life.

Cons: lack of life skills

No young person is going to know it all before moving away, and learning as you go is the key to success. However, some people lack the fundamental skills to make this work in the first place. If you’ve always relied on parents to cook, clean, budget and know none of the basics then going off to a new place can leave you feeling like you’ve been totally thrown in at the deep end. If you know you’re off to college in the future, work on building up some of these skills now. Find a budgeting app that suits you, even if you only have to pay for your own car and phone while you’re living at home it will get you used to managing money. Learn some simple yet healthy budget recipes that could keep you going if you moved away.

college guidance, college planning, college prep, extracurricular activities, financial aid, financial planning, organization, scholarships

Getting In to Your First Choice College

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first choiceWhile many students are busy packing their bags and getting ready to leave for their first year at college, still others are working on their applications for the next round of admissions. Of course, if your child fits the latter category, it’s likely that they already have a college in mind that they wish to attend. Happily, by reading the post below you can find out about the tactics that will help them get into their first choice. Keep reading to discover more.

Address any study or subject issues

Number one of the list tactics is dealing with grades, as this is the base level that a college application will address. Happily, this is something that you can definitely help your child with, without micromanaging them as well. Firstly, it’s vital that you take a keen interest in their progress with their studies, without being overbearing and demanding.

Then, if they or their teachers flag up an issue on a particular topic, it will be much easier to address this constructively. It may be that your child is struggling with a specific subject, or that something is going on in their life that creating a distraction for them. However, as long as you are able to have an honest two-way conversation, you will ultimately be able to get them the support or help they need to ensure that their grades remain on target to get into the college of their choice.

Help your child to present a rounded application

Please do remember though that while grades are essential for college, they are not the only thing that the application board with be looking at. In fact, lately, there has been a definite move towards reviewing the whole person and looking at their extracurricular activities as well as their academic ones.

What this means is that you can quickly help your child by encouraging them to engage in activities outside of the home. These may include sports such as basketball, football, and athletics, as well as getting them involved in community projects like food banks, reading programs, and soup kitchens. Even having a part-time job, or getting some work experience in a firm that is related to their studies can go a long way to helping them stand out amounts all the other candidates. Something that can help them secure that much-needed place in their first choice school.

Seek additional help

It’s also wise to remember as a parent that there is plenty of help out there both for you and your child when it comes to making a successful college application. First off there is lots of advice online that can take you through the process step by step, and also help you hone your child’s particular application documents.

Although, if your child is aiming at one of the top schools in the country it can be helpful to approach specialists like Ivy Select admission consulting for some additional help. After all, as they have been through the process of being accepted to an ivy league college, they are the best people to know all the little tips and tweaks to make to your child’s application for the best chance of them getting into their first choice.

Explore financial aid and scholarship options

Lastly, it is important to remember that it may be finance and scholarship issues that are standing in the way of your child getting into their first choice college. In fact, as university fees have risen so sharply in recent times, it is widespread for students to pick the more economically viable options, rather than where they genuinely want to go.

Luckily you can assist your child in dealing with this, by going through the costs of their course with them, and showing them what sort of budget they will be working on. You can even help them by demonstrating how this will affect their income when they are qualified and have to pay any loans back.

It’s obviously also important to openly discuss how much, if any financial help you will be providing to them, and not leave them guessing. After all, this may have a significant impact on whether they end up applying for the genuine first choice or not.

Lastly, it’s crucial that you also go over the options for scholarships with your child as well, and make sure that they understand these entirely before they make their applications. After all, the can be complicated and confusing and they may even need to start working on things like their grades or other requirements before it gets to application time. Something that you can support them with and that can ultimately help them get into their first choice college.

college guidance, college majors, college planning

How to Choose the Right College Courses

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college coursesIf you are thinking about choosing your next college courses, you will need to make sure that you are not making a mistake that will cost you time and money. While online education is generally cheaper and more flexible than campus-based programs, you will have to be diligent and check out the accreditation level and quality of the degree before you sign up and part with your money. Below you will find a few tips on how to find the right course for your career goals.

Read Online Reviews

If you are interested in a course, you might want to read online reviews. There are plenty of college students blogging about their experience with the teachers and the course material, you just have to find their publications. Alternatively, you can read feedback on popular review sites and social media pages to find out whether or not the course curriculum is for you.

Test Drive Courses

In case you are still undecided which course to sign up for, you can test drive university courses. You might sign up for a free trial online and check out the quality of support provided for clients and find out whether or not you will be able to cope. You can find out how much coursework you will get each term and how complicated the exams are before you commit to completing a course.

Check Out Industry Growth

In case you are looking for further education to improve your employability, you will need to do your research and find out the rate your chosen industry is predicted to grow in the next few years. If your future role is going to be replaced by artificial intelligence, you might be better off choosing another route now instead of trying to change your career further down the line.

Build On Your Current Skills

It might also be a good idea to save time and money, choosing a future course that gives you credit for your previous courses. This will allow you to complete the course faster and gain a qualification so you can start your career. You might have a hospitality business and want to get a masters in hotel management degree  so you can secure a management position and improve your chances of advancing your career.

Know Your Limitations

It is crucial that you consider the time and energy you have to complete your course. If you are working part or full time, you will need to improve your time management skills. You might now think that you can study during the night, but if you don’t get enough sleep, your work and your college assignments will suffer, not to mention your health and wellbeing.

Making an informed decision about your college course is important to get a good job and a secure career. Consider your existing qualifications, your free time, your other commitments, and the industry growth predictions, so you can avoid spending time and money on courses you will not benefit from.

 

college guidance, college planning

Missed Opportunities: How My College Mistakes Impacted My Adult Life

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  1. Today’s guest post is from Kyle Grappone, a youth motivational speaker and book author. His aim is to inspire High School and College students to think differently about their futures, take advantage of their opportunities, and answer the question: “What type of person do you want to become?”.  

________________________________________________________________________

collegeAttending college is an amazing opportunity that not everyone gets a chance to experience. It’s an opportunity to learn more about the world around you, make new friends, and create a career path that will lead to success and fulfillment. It indeed is a chance at a better life. It’s customary for successful alumni to give speeches or write articles about everything they did right in college and how to emulate the success they had. High School students often have guidance counselors and family members dispensing well-intentioned but typically routine advice on how to be successful. Tips such as go to class, study in the library, and get plenty of sleep usually top this list. The issue is that the part that gets left out is the long-term impact there college choices will have on the rest of their lives. Furthermore, the well-intentioned adults giving this advice are usually the same voices this student has listened to for years and has begun to tune out. It’s time someone who wouldn’t be considered an “ideal success story” talks about these topics and the long-term impact they can have on your life.

I slept through most of my time in High School. Okay, I didn’t actually sleep, but I wasn’t fully present either. I coasted through High School and was accepted to a small school in upstate New York. When I was getting ready for college, I had plenty of people telling me all sorts of advice. I can’t recall what they were saying, because I really wasn’t listening. I was focused on being on my own, partying, and doing all the fun college stuff I saw in movies. The next four years flew by. I had a lot of fun and made a lot of friends but, just like high school, I didn’t try as hard as I could. I didn’t try because I wasn’t aware of what was coming next in life. I was unaware and unprepared for that next step called “The Real World,” and I had no idea how my poor choices were impacting my future. Without knowing what was waiting for me after graduation, I had no idea what opportunities I should have been taking advantage of.

So, while I graduated on-time as a double major, I did so with no idea how to write a resume, interview for a job or figure out what I actually wanted to do with this degree I had just paid a lot of money to obtain. I also did not realize how much left I had to pay or how those pesky interest rates on my loans actually worked. I was 22 years old and lost. I was entirely unprepared for this world I found myself in. My first job out of college was working part-time at Bed Bath and Beyond. This position was followed by a minimum wage warehouse job and a low-paying educational position. Eventually, I recovered and found my passions and better-paying positions. However, my poor choices and lack of understanding and caring regarding my future left an impact that I still feel to this day. Here are a few pieces of advice from a college graduate who knows what happens when you don’t take advantage of what’s right in front of you. 

Make A Plan

When you are older, and preparing to make a life-impacting decision, you make a plan. You decide what it’s going to entail and what you want the result to be. College is a series of life-impacting decisions, so there should be a plan regarding why you are going and what you want to get out of it. Why should an 18-year old sit down and make a plan the summer before college instead of going to the beach? They should make a plan because it will help them choose the right major, pass there classes and ultimately set them up for success in the real world. The better prepared you are, the happy you are going to be. Decide what you want the outcome of your college experience to be and right down specific actions you are going to take to make sure you will achieve the outcome you desire.

Going To Class Is Your Job

It may sound boring, but learning is the reason you are at college. If you are not interested in learning more and challenging yourself, then you should stay at home and save yourself a ton of money. Attending class is not always fun. It’s work, and that’s the way you should treat it. It’s essential that you are not only attending class but participating and learning. The more you learn now, the less you will have to catch up on when you are trying to apply for jobs after graduation. Also, developing habits such as waking up early for class, adding value by participating, and studying on a regular basis are the building blocks for a strong work ethic. A strong work ethic will be noted and rewarded with better-paying positions and opportunities. A well-paying career can often lead to a happier life and less financial stress.

Learn What Networking Is

Networking is a word that you will hear a lot when you are in school and beyond. What does it actually mean? Educators will give you an educated and sophisticated explanation, but I will provide you with a blunt one. Networking means meeting people who can help your career. It means finding people who are currently doing what you want to be doing and asking a lot of questions. It means learning from those who have come before you. It also means creating relationships with people you can count on to give you advice or recommend you for a position you are applying for. The more help you have in your job search the better your odds of landing a better position, creating a  better career, and a living a better life.

Forget The Money, Take The Internship

My last regret turned pearl of wisdom is about internships. Almost every major requires one, but most students don’t know how this seemingly menial work will help them in the future. Most students get caught up on the fact that they have to work for free. I can’t say that I blame them because no one wants to work for free. However, it’s crucial someone points out that money is only one form of payment. If you approach an internship correctly, it can pay you in ways that are more valuable than cash. It can pay you in experience. You’ll need that experience on your resume when you and dozens of other fresh college graduates are applying for the same job. It can also pay you in references. Actual people who can vouch for the type of employee you will be and the value you can bring to a company. Working for free while you can lead to a lot more money when you need it the most.

College can be a fantastic time in a student’s life, but there are plenty of people and content who can cover all that stuff. The goal today was to show the importance of taking advantage of your time in college because it will have a lasting impact on your future happiness and life. If you are a parent, I invite you to share this piece with your high school student so they may be better prepared than I was.

About Kyle

His book, To The Next Step, is an instruction manual for High School and College students to achieve the goals I listed above. You can learn more about my book here: www.publishizer.com/to-the-next-step

Website: www.kylegrappone.com

E-Mail: Kyle@KyleGrappone.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KyleGSpeaks/

Twitter: @KyleGSpeaks

Instagram: KyleGSpeaks

college guidance, college prep, parenting

Starting Early: Parenting for College

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parenting for collegeWhen it comes parenting for college, this may be something that you start to think about as parents when your kids start high school. Now, for some people, this will be way too soon – because you have all of four years before they are due to go. But, when you are looking to prepare your child for college, you may find that the more time you have, the better! However, you could even look to start this earlier. While you may not be able to start the application process, there are a lot of different things that you can do with your parenting to really help your kids along the way. If this sounds like something you’re keen to do with your middle school children, here are some tips to help you.

Nurture, Don’t Smother

Now, when you have high aspirations for your child, and you really want them to be able to do well, you may find that you can be a bit pushy. It’s only natural. And you probably think that this is the best thing for them. But, this can often lead to you smothering them. When really, you need to be thinking about nurturing your children instead. Make sure that you’re supporting them and not suffocating them. As they need to be able to grow and develop independently.

Enhance Their Skills

When you’ve been able to get the balance right, you’re then going to want to make sure that you can really work on their skills. Here, you can encourage them from the sidelines. Make sure that you’re encouraging them to practice, study, and really push their abilities. But you cannot do it for them. Try to get them to try out as many different things to help you work out where their key skills lie.

Provide The Best Environment

You’ll then want to make sure that you can create the best possible environment for your children to develop in. Not only should this mean that you have a happy home, but that they have everything they need. Here, a desk in their room or a bed with desk like the kids beds from Cuckooland is a great option. You want them to be able to study as much as possible, in a comfortable environment.

Go The Extra Mile

You may also find that it’s going to be largely useful for you to be able to go the extra mile for them. Maybe they need further development in a few key areas, or you just want them to be able to advance as quickly as possible? Hiring a private tutor could help you here. You may also want to make sure that you are available to take them to different commitments and to support them from the sidelines too.

Guide Them To Flourish

Lastly, you’re going to want to make sure that you’re guiding your children as much as possible. Just like you don’t want to smother in point one, here you don’t want to control. Yes, you may have thought that you wanted your child to be a lawyer or a doctor, but what if their strengths lie in sports or the arts? Make sure that you are in tune with their natural talents and guide them to flourish. This will help them to not only find success with their studies and college, but to lead a fulfilled life too.

 

admissions, college guidance, college planning, college prep

The Perfect College List

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college list

Did you know there are more than 4,000 four-year colleges and universities in the United States? That can make choosing a college overwhelming. But there is a college to fit your dreams – and finding it starts with the right list of schools where you plan to apply.

Your college list is the basis for every decision regarding college. Without a good list, it’s impossible to make a clearly logical and well-informed college choice. You should begin your college list during your junior year of high school. By the beginning of your senior year, you should have a final list for college applications.

The “Fit” Questions

How do you start a dream list? A good college list should have three “fit” criteria: financial fit, academic fit and emotional fit. Consider each school by asking these “fit” questions:

  • Financial Fit-Does the college fit into your family’s budget?
  • Academic Fit-Does the college fit into your academic aspirations?
  • Emotional Fit-Can you see yourself attending college there?

Seven More Questions to Use as a Reality Check

Once you’ve answered the “fit” questions, dig deep and ask yourself these questions:

  • Are you choosing a college to follow a boyfriend or girlfriend?
  • Are you choosing a college to follow a best friend?
  • Are you choosing a college because you follow the sports team?
  • Are you choosing a college because it’s “fun”?
  • Are you choosing a college because of location?
  • Are you choosing a college because of its reputation?
  • Are you choosing a college based on someone else’s opinion?

Divide Your College List Into These Categories

Once you’ve answered all those questions, you’re ready to begin your list, which should always include the Dream Team, the Best Bets and some Sure Things (also known as reach schools, best fit schools and safety schools).

The Dream Team

Your dream colleges should be a reach but not impossible. Those colleges have very low acceptance rates. I’m all for dreaming, but when it comes to a college list, practicality and logic reign.

The Best Bets

The colleges on this part of the list are colleges that would put you at the top of the applicant pool.  It’s not all about the money, but money sure does make the final decision easier.

The Sure Things

Carefully consider the choices and make sure that these colleges are colleges you really want to attend. It will relieve pressure and stress if they offer you admission.

Consider This Important College Data

Now that you know which colleges to put on your college list, how do you choose the right ones? What criteria do you use to populate your list? Where do you find the best information, or statistics, to help you make your list?

Two good sources for college statistics are College Navigator and College Data. These two resources will help you make an informed college choice. Numbers aren’t everything, but consider these important stats when you are looking at schools

Rankings

Never rely solely on one set of rankings. Use the comparison tools to make a wise college choice.

Financial aid percentages

If you need financial aid, a college with a low percentage of merit aid should be eliminated from your list.

Acceptance rates

Look for colleges with high acceptance rates. Better yet, look for the colleges where you would be a top applicant in the applicant pool. This translates into more merit aid in the financial aid package.

Faculty-student ratio

If you’re looking at a big school, consider the size of the program that interests you. You may get more personalized attention in a major with fewer students.

Freshman retention rate

If schools you’re considering have a low freshman retention rate, there’s a reason. Some colleges do a great job of taking care of their freshmen; some don’t.

Graduation rate

When you research the college, look up their graduation rates. Low rates could be a red flag.

Average indebtedness

If the average student indebtedness is high, and you need financial aid, this college might not make the final list.

Percentage of students employed after graduation

Colleges with a high percentage of unemployed graduates should be avoided by students who need to incur high student loan debt.

Other Important Stuff to Think About

  • Study styles: Are you more comfortable in a structured class or doing independent study?
  • Money: Your budget plays a huge factor in the decision process.
  • Size: Do you want small class sizes, or does it matter?
  • Location: Do you want to go away to college or stay close by or even live at home?
  • Extracurriculars: Are there activities that are crucial to having a positive college experience (for example, working on a campus newspaper, participating in intramural sports, studying abroad)?
  • Academics: Is there a specific major you are interested in, or will a liberal arts degree do?
  • Career focus:  Do you need to consider a school that offers specialized degrees like culinary arts or fashion design?
  • Sports: Does the school have a huge sports program, or do sports have little impact on your decision?
  • Competitive or noncompetitive: Do you have the resume that will ensure acceptance to a competitive college like Stanford or Princeton?
  • Specialized programs: Do you want to work in a specific field?

As you can easily see, there’s more to refining a college list than picking a college with Greek life or college sports rankings. It’s a place you will call home, and you need to feel comfortable there. Once you’ve determined that a college meets all your criteria, add it to the list. It’s a keeper!

For details on each category and more information on how to populate your college list, read the original article written for TeenLife Magazine: How to Put Together a College List that Finds the Perfect Fit.

college guidance, college planning, college prep

Could Private School Prepare Your Child for College?

private schoolFrom the time your child enters preschool, all you ever want is to provide them with the best educational experience. The more your children are able to learn in their formative years, the better equipped they are for the real world. As your child grows up in a world that is ever-changing, it is vital that you’re able to provide them with a competitive foundation to succeed. A solid education is an essential part of that foundation, which is why many parents send their children to private schools.

Though there are undoubtedly great public school systems that have produced some of the world’s most well-renowned people, many parents find that affording their children a private education, particularly in middle and high school, provides an advantage for their teens. Many of the best schools in Orange county and across the US use moral and ethical values along with teaching practices and student expectations, to help make transitioning into the college environment a lot easier.

If you’re thinking of enrolling your child in a private school, but wonder how it might best prepare them for college, you’ll find these points to be interesting.

More Resources for Broader Learning Opportunities

Unfortunately, many public schools have had to cut funding for many of their educational and extracurricular programs once available to students. From foreign languages to sports and music, there are a lot of great opportunities students don’t have access to. Private schools, however, have the available resources to educate students in those areas. As they are able to explore new cultures, various art forms, and even athletics, it provides them with a diverse education and skills they wouldn’t otherwise be able to.

High Student Expectations

Parents are, without a doubt, an intricate part of their teen’s educational experience. When cooperating with teachers, parents are able to help their children to be better learners. Yet, as students get older, it is necessary for them to take a larger responsibility in their education. When they graduate high school and go on to college, professors will require a lot of them. If they don’t hold up to said expectations, they run the risk of ruining their educational careers. Private schools stand to prepare students for that. Requiring students to put their best foot forward in their studies and also expecting them to participate in extracurricular activities gives students a sense of responsibility they’ll need to master college life.

A Diverse Environment

Public schools are available to students who live in a particular town. This can limit your child’s exposure to other cultures, backgrounds, and personality types. Private schools recruit from all over and create a climate where children from all walks of life can feel at home. Your teen gets to learn how unique they are while also learning about the unique qualities of others. They learn how to get along, work together, and in some cases, cohabitat with individuals who are representations of the very makeup of college campuses across the country.

College Resources

Another bonus to enrolling your teen in private middle or high school are the various resources most facilities tend to have. Many schools have college assistance programs in which they help students and their parents through the college application process. By their sophomore year, most students are paired with a college counselor who helps them look into various universities, research financial aid, and scholarship opportunities, and work on the essays giving them a better chance at getting noticed.

Your children are the future leaders, creative minds, and motivators of their generation. In order for them to effectively make their mark on the world, it is imperative that they have a solid foundation from which to draw from. Private schooling has the resources, curriculum, and experience to help each of our students master the exciting new chapter of college life and beyond.

 

college guidance, college planning, college prep, Uncategorized

Cast a Wider College Net for Your College Choices

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college choicesJoin a group of parents whose students are getting college admissions letters and you’re going to hear the same conversations. Some are elated, others are confused, and many are disappointed.

I guarantee you that the elated parents have students who took the time to research the college and made sure they were at the top of the applicant pool when they applied. The confused and disappointed parents more than likely have students who applied to elite colleges with little hope of being offered admission or little hope of being able to afford it if their students were accepted.

It seems in today’s competitive college market, parents and students are often blinded by the hype. They fall for the false narrative that a student can’t be successful with a degree from an unknown college. They believe the lie that you can’t get a superior education from a small liberal arts college. They fall prey to the peer pressure from other parents who love to name drop and brag about where their student is applying.

Unfortunately, students suffer when their dreams are squashed by a college that only admits 10 percent or fewer of their applicants. In fact, elite colleges work hard to boost their rejection rates every year.

The good news is your student can avoid rejection by casting a wider college search net and considering other options when making your college choices.

Consider all types of colleges

Many students stick to the obvious in-state public universities. These universities are often large and have tens of thousands of applicants every year.

Seek a career, not a degree

Not every student is meant to pursue a degree at a traditional college or university. If your student is interested in pursuing a trade, consider researching technical and training schools.

Find your niche and exploit it

When creating a college list, search for specific degree paths that might be off the radar.

By widening your student’s search net and being more creative with the college list, his or her chances of receiving an affirmative answer instead of a rejection will increase tremendously.

For the details on how to pursue each category, you can read my original article on TeenLife Magazine here:  Crafting the Perfect Application List.

admissions, college guidance, college planning, college prep

5 Ways NOT to Choose a College

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choose a collegeThere are thousands of potential choices for rising seniors, hundreds of influences on the paths they take in choosing colleges for consideration. How can they best sift through it all to find the right fit for them? And perhaps even more importantly – what SHOULDN’T they do?  Bob Allen, President, Green Mountain College, weighs in:

Top 5 Ways NOT to Choose a College 

  1. Limit yourself to just a couple of search terms. Size, location and a “big bucket” term such as “liberal arts” don’t go far enough to finding the right place to (ideally) spend the next four years of your education!
  2. Choose based on sports teams – unless you’re entering on a sports scholarship, a school’s successful team doesn’t equate to your academic success. You might be better off cheering that team from afar!
  3. Get distracted by facilities – who doesn’t like a fancy dining hall? But in the end, are your meals really what you want to remember best from your education?
  4. Cave in to peer pressure – don’t just default to the school where your friends are going. College is the time to let your individuality shine, to figure out what you really want in a career (which might not be the same as your high school clique).
  5. Rely on limited, or not credible, rankings – there are more and more rankings lists popping up each year. Do your research – if the list isn’t from an organization you (or your parents or guidance counselor) recognize as an authority in your area(s) of interest, disregard it. And, keep a wary eye even on the “elder statesmen” of rankings; some have not been updated to include newer areas of study, such as sustainability.

While choosing a college is never easy, it’s possible to find the perfect fit. Don’t be blinded by the glitz and glamour of a campus or the college name. Names makes the news; but colleges that offer excellent educations are everywhere.  Look for the college that fits your academic, financial and social needs.

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Green Mountain College is recognized for its work in preparing the next generation of sustainability professionals more than any other college in the country (see here for details). 

college guidance, college planning, parenting

Parent vs. Student: Conflicts About College

conflicts about collegeAsk a high school student (without a parent present) and most would tell you that they want to go to college for a) the social scene (aka partying), b) to get away from home and their parents, and c) to get a degree so they can get a high paying job after graduation. Ask a parent about the reasons they want their kids to go to college and they will tell you unequivocally that it’s for an education which will lead to a good job after graduation.

These goals differ dramatically and often cause conflicts about college choices, college majors and college location. Why are parents and students so far apart and how can you help them see things from your perspective or help them find a balance?

Academics vs a social life

Parents send their kids to college to study and excel academically. They see the money they spend as an investment in their future and would prefer that their kids not sacrifice academics for a social life. The reality is that students need both. A socially active student is a happy student. College is more than studying, tests and grades. It’s about having life experiences that help them mature as adults. Most college graduates say they learned much more in college than just academics.

The key is to help them find a balance. Before they leave for college encourage them to make a plan—allocating x amount of hours to study, leaving them with free time to socialize and participate in campus activities. If your student stays locked up in his/her dorm room all semester studying, the stress will inevitably manifest itself in their health and in their emotional well-being. If your student understands that good grades mean they won’t get put on academic probation or not be able to complete college, it might help them focus on their studies before they play.

“College prestige” vs “best fit”

Your student may want to attend an Ivy League college or any school within the top rankings, but is it really a good choice for them and will they be happy and excel. Choosing a college should be based on three criteria: money, major, and fit. Prestige should not be a factor, but peer pressure among students often makes this a top priority in their minds. A college with a big name might look good on paper and give them bragging rights with their peers, but when the dust settles will they be happy at this school and will it provide them with an education that will lead to employment.

Here’s another thing to consider—would you want to go somewhere you don’t fit in and are not wanted? Of course not. But students often do just that when they choose a college. If a school makes an offer of admission along with copious amounts of financial aid, they value your student and their contribution to their student body. If a college accepts them but doesn’t offer aid, the chances are they are just filling an admissions quota. Looking at it from this perspective makes the decision easier and helps them see the value in choosing a best fit college over a prestigious one.

Paying for school-parent or student

Most parents feel they are partially responsible for contributing to their child’s college education. While not everyone agrees on how much, we can all agree that this topic should be addressed before the students start looking at colleges. I call it the “money talk” and it’s just as important as any other aspect of the college prep process.

Kids are acutely aware of their need to contribute. In a recent Fidelity Investments online survey of U.S. high school seniors, a majority said saving for education was “overwhelming.” Good news for parents: 94 percent of students were willing to pay for at least some of their college costs; 56 percent of those said their share should be half.

Studies show that students who contribute financially to their education usually do better in college because they are financially invested. Teaching your kids to work for something they want begins during early childhood and should continue throughout college.

Once you’ve explained to your student what is expected of them, carry the conversation further by offering suggestions on how they can pay for their portion:

  • Student loans–All students who complete the FAFSA are eligible for government funded student loans. This is certainly an option, but the amount of the loans should not exceed their ability to repay after graduation. Loan repayment calculators are available to help you with that figure and you can research the average salary for your child’s degree after graduation.
  • Scholarships—Your student should be responsible for researching scholarship opportunities and completing the applications. These scholarships will help supplement their contribution and minimize the amount of student loan debt.
  • Work-study—Students should work during college, if only part-time. Work-study programs offer jobs on campus with employers who are willing to work with their academic schedule.

Location vs opportunity

Knowing that one of your student’s goals is to move away from home and get out from under your “control” means their decisions are often clouded by this priority. While location is certainly a concern, the reasons behind it should not be the distance from parental control. Just a few weeks into their freshman year they will discover how much they miss home and their parents. They may not see it now but it’s a guarantee it will happen. If they don’t believe you, have them ask current students. Often talking to their peers will help them see it from a different perspective.

Here are some things your student should consider when deciding on a location:

  • Networking and employment opportunities—Students should look ahead into the future. When they graduate do they expect to have a job waiting for them? Do they want to intern while in college to experience their future career? Colleges with large alumni networks also have opportunities for students to make connections that could help them after graduation. Texas A&M, for example, has a large alumni network who pride themselves in hiring A&M graduates if one is available. If their chosen career is theater, then living in New York makes perfect sense. If they want to pursue an acting career, Los Angeles would be an excellent choice. Cities with large corporate headquarter populations also offer employment opportunities after graduation as well. Once you look at the chosen career, you can determine if location should be factored in.
  • Tuition cost–If cost is a concern, living at home and attending a college close by should always be considered. Your student would save money on room and board and be able to work part-time while attending. Often students with limited financial resources choose colleges close to home based on these criteria.
  • Expenses not covered in tuition/room and board—Their tuition, room and board may be covered but those are not the only college costs. Parents and students should also factor in travel expenses into the decision. Attending college across the country can rack up airfare, gas and other travel related expenses on trips back and forth between both parents and students.

High school students often live in a fantasy world. They see their futures in black and white and they dream big. While there’s nothing wrong with dreams, it’s the parents’ job to help them with a reality check when needed. As you have done throughout your child’s life, continue to guide them and encourage them to make the best college decision based on reality.