Category Archives: admissions

admissions, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: The College Power Shift

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy Daivd-Gaines and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Wendy and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will feature an expert on a topic of interest for parents of the college-bound.

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from  http://www.parentingforcollege.com/ to http://www.pocsmom.com and vice versa.

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power shiftMost parents feel that the college process is frustrating, because when it comes right down to it, they feel powerless. Either their student will be ecstatic at the end, or feel utter disappointment and rejection. It’s all in the colleges’ hands—or is it?

Steer clear of the fear

There’s nothing to be afraid of. Especially since you know that even the worst outcomes can be transformed into the best decisions. It’s not about whether or not college A or college B offers admission to your student. It’s about the education they will receive at “a” college. Teenagers can’t see the forest for the trees sometimes and they will pick up on your angst immediately. Make the process fun—like choosing a new car or buying a new house. It’s all about the journey.

Control is fleeting

If the colleges are in control, it’s only for a short time. The only time in which they have the power is at decision time. They look over your student’s application with a discerning eye and decide where to place your student: deferred, accepted, rejected or waitlisted. The process is completely subjective and while you make think there are bona fide reasons for your son or daughter to be accepted, it’s up to the college to decide whether he or she is a good fit. Translated—that means there are no “true” rejections, only a decision that it wasn’t the best match.

Get back into the driver’s seat

After the short time of waiting for the colleges’ decisions, you get to get back in the driver’s seat. You now have the power over the colleges. You are the consumer making a large purchase and it’s up to them to convince you. If they don’t back their offer of admission up with money, it might be time for you to put “them” in the rejection pile. And trust me, it feels GREAT!

Here’s the simple truth about the college process—you are ALWAYS in control. If you market your student properly, do your homework with the college choices, and realize that no matter what happens the final outcome will be what’s best for your student, it can help make the process enjoyable. Yes, I said enjoyable.

Interested in learning more about the power shift?

On #CampusChat tonight, Wednesday March 26 at 9pm ET/6pm PT, hosted by Wednesday’s Parent Wendy and me, Jeannie will share her tips to empower students and parents during each phase of the college process. Follow Jeannie @JeannieBorin, me @SuzanneShaffer and Wendy @pocsmom as we discuss the Student-College power shift with our wonderful #CampusChat buddies. Please join the conversation with your questions and comments.

Jeannie Borin is recognized by media, clientele and colleagues globally as a leader in college admissions consulting and new media. She is a Fr/ NYC and a Juilliard School of Music alumna, holds a Masters Degree in psychology, education and counseling, and is President of College Connections http://college-connections.com . She is a member of several prestigious educational organizations including the IECA, HECA, WACAC and NACAC.

Read this to learn how to join the chat.

Read Wendy’s blog for more info about the Student-College power shift.

admissions, college guidance, how to

How to Sift Through College Information

 

college informationCollege prep overload. If you’re a parent of a college-bound teen, you’ve got it . . . big time. The high schools bombard you with information (which is usually very little concrete advice). The colleges bombard your student with beautiful brochures and promises of academic success if you attend their college. You are bombarded with tough financial choices when choosing the colleges that make the final cut on your student’s list.

How do you sift through all that college information without losing your mind?

Find a handful of good sources and go to them for answers.

You’ll go crazy if you try to read, watch and listen to every source available on the college prep process. How do you find the good sources? Glad you asked! I’ve compiled a list of resources in just about every category pertaining to the college prep process, along with a list of Twitter accounts to follow and a list of 50+ college info websites. Follow them on twitter, subscribe to their blogs and look for them on Facebook and Pinterest. By doing so, you won’t miss a thing and the amount of information you receive just got smaller.

Use Pinterest to save information on boards.

Pinterest is a great place to save and catalog all the information you find for future reference. It’s simple and easy to use, especially if you already have an account. You can set up boards for scholarships, financial aid, college admissions, college prep, and test prep. Once you set up the boards, start pinning!

Create a filing system that works for you.

All the information you collect won’t always be online. Create some sort of filing system for relevant college information and be vigilant in keeping it organized. Piles of papers and brochures create clutter and frustration when you’re looking for that flyer from the school on college parent night or a financial aid seminar. If you use a smartphone, there are multiple apps to help with organizing and remembering dates and deadlines.

Toss out ALL information that doesn’t apply to you or your college-bound teen.

If it’s not pertinent, don’t keep it. If you get a brochure from a college that doesn’t interest your student and never will, toss it. It’s just taking up space and adding clutter. Once you’ve cataloged information, toss the hard copy if you can.

 

 

admissions, mom approved tips

Mom-Approved Tips: Listen to College Podcasts

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college podcastsEvery day I grab my trusty iPod and head to the mall to do my 2.5 miles of walking. I hate walking. To me, it’s boring and a waste of my time. However, it’s critical to my health and every day I tell myself it’s just something I have to grin and bear.

But then I discovered podcasts. Not only are they great when exercising, you can listen when you’re cooking dinner, commuting to work on public transportation, eating your lunch, or any other time that you are performing daily tasks and want to make them more productive.

Why college podcasts?

When I say “college podcasts” I’m not suggesting you listen to podcasts from the colleges themselves; although many of them have excellent podcasts providing good information to prospective and current students. The podcasts I am recommending have to do with higher education and the college admission process.

The information you will glean from these podcasts will blow your mind. You can learn about everything from how to pay for college, to admission tips, to how colleges look at applicants, to how to find scholarships, and the list goes on. If you subscribe to podcasts, you are automatically notified when a new one is posted. And it will automatically be added to your podcast directory for you to listen to at your convenience.

Don’t have an iPhone or Apple device? Many are also available for android on Google Play. A quick search on Google can get your hooked up and ready to listen.

Where do you find these podcasts?

As luck would have it, I’m going to give you some incredible podcast links for you to begin with. If you need more you can do a google search for “higher education podcasts” or search within iTunes and  Google Play. The links I’m providing are for iTunes and some site specific podcasts. But most, if available on iTunes, are also available online through other podcast listening channels.

Following are my favorites and you can start with these.

How to Pay for College HQ

The How to Pay for College HQ Podcast will provide inspiration and guidelines to help parents and students learn what preparation and steps can be taken to earn a degree debt free without the assistance of loans. Each week, Celest Horton, interviews guests from all facets of the college prep business in the hope that what you learn will help you finance your college-bound teen’s college education.

College Cash Man

From the Author of Free Ca$h for College and CollegeMoneyMan.com, Jose “JR” Vazquez (AKA The College Money Man™) gives real advice from someone who knows what it takes to find the money you need to pay for college. With real stories from listeners, interviews with experts, and answers to listener questions, JR explains financial aid comments in a way that makes sense.

Chronicle of Higher Education

This podcast provides interviews with prominent researchers, college leaders, and Chronicle reporters about pressing news and big ideas in higher education. What better way to learn about admissions than from those in the field of higher education?

American Radioworks

American Public Media’s American RadioWorks creates documentaries, series projects, and investigative reports for the public radio system and the Internet. They offer good information and data about higher education. You can pick and choose the podcasts that interest you.

NPR Education Podcasts

You can listen to NPR’s podcasts related to education on their website. Great content and interesting debates over the cost of college and all things college prep.

The College-Bound Chronicles Podcast

This podcast offers advice for parents on the college admissions process; hosted by expert/psychologist Dr. Nancy Berk and broadcaster Lian Dolan. It’s information, advice and empathy in a light-hearted format.

Every parent knows that knowledge about the college prep process is half the battle. These podcasts will help educate and inform, while providing good solid advice to help you navigate the college maze.

Do you know of or listen to others? Leave a comment here and we’ll add them to the list.

admissions, financial aid, Zinch posts

College Decisions To-Do List

 

college decisions
-photo courtesy of Zinch

For seniors, the New Year brings those long-awaited college decisions: deferred, accepted, rejected, and wait listed. One knowledgeable college counselor once told me, “I don’t like to call these letters of acceptance. I use the term—offers of admission.”

As a parent, I like that distinction. This alternative wording makes it easier to stomach those not-so-pleasant responses and help your college-bound teen work through the gamut of emotions that come when decisions arrive.

Your student may be the one receiving these communications from the colleges, but you feel every emotion they do from failure to excitement and everything in between. But unless you understand what each term means, it’s hard to know how to help your student (and yourself) with appropriate responses and proper action.

When the letters from the colleges (or online notifications) arrive, your student will receive one of four responses: deferred, wait-listed, rejected (declined admission) or accepted (offered admission). Once you understand these terms, you can determine what your response should be and how you need to take action.

Read more from Zinch: You’ve Heard from the Colleges–Now What?

admissions, guidance counselors

The High School Guidance Counselor conundrum

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guidance counselorParents rely on guidance counselors to help their students with college prep. They are under the misconception that a counselors job is counsel their student about college. But guidance counselors have little time to help your student. Research shows that the average counselor to student ratio is 470-1 and that they spend less than 20 minutes a year with each student.

Just the facts

A recent article in Time, “The High School Guidance Counselor”, explains the problem:

In addition to huge caseloads, budget cuts have forced to counselors to increasingly contend with duties unrelated to their traditional roles, such as monitoring the school cafeteria or proctoring exams, says Eric Sparks, the ASCA’s assistant director. And few get more than scant training before taking on the job, says Alexandria Walton Radford, a former U.S. Department of Education official who has studied the issue. Many degree programs for school counselors don’t offer coursework on helping students make the best college choices, or getting financial aid, according to a national survey of counselors.

The result is an overtaxed system in which many students either never go to college, go to institutions that are the wrong for them, or never learn about financial aid for which they may qualify. According to Radford’s research, low-income, ethnic minority valedictorians and first-generation college applicants shy away from elite schools, unaware of scholarship opportunities; freshmen over-rely on friends and relatives for advice about college.

Knowing this, parents and students need to take action. You know the old saying, “the squeaky wheel gets the oil?” The same is true when it comes to dealing with guidance counselors. Don’t become a nuisance, but put your student at the top of the counselor’s to-do list.

Start early

Beginning freshman year, you and your student need to make contact with their guidance counselor. At the beginning of your teen’s freshman year (and each school year following to stay on top of your student’s progress), make an appointment to meet with the guidance counselor. This meeting will let the counselor know that you are an involved parent and that you will be taking an active role during your teen’s high school years. It will also serve to establish a relationship between your teen and the counselor which will benefit them in the future as they begin to require more and more help with the college application process.

Here’s a list of questions I composed for Zinch that you should ask at those meetings: 5 Must-Ask Questions for your Child’s Guidance Counselor

Take action

Since guidance counselors have multiple students to deal with and multiple deadlines to manage, you need to take action and verify that the action they should take is being taken and in a timely manner.

Paul Hemphill, of Planning for College, puts it plainly, “Over the next several weeks, colleges will deny a student’s application for admission because the student’s guidance counselor failed to send the paperwork in by the deadline.”

Paul suggests parents send 3 emails to their child’s guidance counselor that can prevent the heartbreak of your child’s application being refused consideration: Guidance Counselors Can Kill Your Student’s Dreams.

Note: Pikesville High School Counseling in Baltimore, Maryland has this to say: “I appreciate that you care about SCHOOL counselors’ lack of training in college planning, but I disagree about your recommendations. There are more productive and proactive ways than becoming the squeaky wheel…Like asking district and state leadership for smaller caseloads and more professional development for SCHOOL counselors.” Good advice. Get involved in your school community and ask for changes. 

 

admissions, parenting, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Rivalries among college-bound teens

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Sign up for my FREE parent tips email and get my FREE Ebook on college financing! Or subscribe to my blog on the left and get email updates.

Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from pocsmom.com to parentingforcollege and vice versa.

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braggingIt’s that time of year again—college offers of admission will be arriving and students will be responding to those offers. Years ago, on the popular show Dawson’s Creek, the teenage characters were going through the college prep process. As the process unfolded the viewers shared in every part of the process, from application, to waiting, to acceptance and rejection. Obviously the writers of the show had experienced this before because they were dead-on about the types of emotions teenagers go through during this period in their lives.

One specific storyline involved a girl who was striving for an Ivy League acceptance and a boy whose grades were not quite as stellar and had set his sights low when it came to college. It created quite a conflict—one student excited about their college prospects and the other stressed about getting an acceptance at all. It’s a fine line between showing excitement and bragging so much that it’s offensive to others.

This is a time to teach some life lessons that your teen can take with them to college and into their life as an adult.

Tolerance

Kids will be kids. And unfortunately they often mimic their parents (in a negative way). Bragging will occur—you can count on it. The rivalry will intensify when the offers of admission arrive. When this happens, this is a great opportunity for you to teach your teen about tolerance. Although they may not like listening to other kids brag, it’s a fact of life. People will brag and boast and they are bound to run into this as adults. Learning to deal with it now should make it easier in the future.

Gratitude

As the offers of admission arrive it’s a great opportunity for them to learn about gratitude. Being grateful for their success should make it easier for them to avoid making others feel inferior.

Acceptance

Part of the process is learning to accept the outcome and adjust expectations, especially if the outcome is not what they expected. Often acceptance is not easily achieved but it is part of facing reality and becoming an adult.

Graciousness

When their friends receive offers of admission and they don’t, or they get waitlisted, it’s going to be difficult. In life others will be promoted before them, own bigger houses and more expensive cars. Instead of feeling jealous or envious, it will be much easier to be gracious and celebrate their accomplishments.

The rivalry that occurs among college-bound teens is hard to deal with as a parent. We don’t like to see our kids hurt or their self-esteem destroyed by other kids; but you can use the opportunity to build character.

Read Wendy’s blog post: College admissions rivalry

admissions, college guidance, college planning, parenting

14 Reasons I became a Parent College Coach

14 reasonsAs I look toward the upcoming year I am incredibly grateful for the connections I have made both with college experts and with parents of college-bound teens. Parents have become more and more involved with their student’s college application process and are looking for the best information available to help them guide and encourage.

As a parent advocate, I work to get you the latest information available to help you make informed college choices and financial aid decisions as the process progresses. Since I am a parent myself and am aware of the obstacles families face during this stressful time, I’m able to share my experiences and help you overcome the stress you may feel.

Here are 14 reasons I became a Parent College Coach:

  1. To share my expertise with other parents
  2. To connect you with other college experts
  3. To help you deal with the college prep stress
  4. To help you find scholarships
  5. To help you with the financial aid process
  6. To offer advice about college visits
  7. To help you avoid being an overly involved helicopter parent
  8. To give you standardized test prep options
  9. To connect parents with other parents
  10. To educate and inform
  11. To give every student who wants to go to college help when needed
  12. To help you get the best value for your buck
  13. To answer questions about the college prep process
  14. To help you guide your student through the college prep process

 

As you can imagine, the internet and social media are flooded with experts, especially in the college field. I bring a unique perspective into the mix because I am not only an expert on the college prep process; I’m also a parent myself. I struggled to help both my children get into college in a time when information was not easily available and school counselors were overwhelmed with parents and students asking for help.

It’s rewarding as I see parents and students cross the finish line and move on to the next phase in their lives. Knowing that I had a small part in the process makes me glad I made the decision to provide parents with the help they need. And as time goes on, I’ve made many good friends!

admissions, college prep, parenting

10 Biggest mistakes parents make

 

parent mistakesParents and students are in the thick of the college application process. With more and more parents becoming involved, admissions officers are on the lookout for parents who won’t let their students own the process. That’s not to say that parents should step back and stay uninvolved; students need help and encouragement. They definitely need their parents to partner with them in the application process; but it’s a fine line that many parents simply don’t know how to walk.

Over the past ten years I have heard some stories from admissions officers that would make your hair stand on end: parents who write the student’s essay and try to pass it off as the student’s; parents who ask embarrassing questions during the college tour; and parents who simply won’t let go once the student is at college. Colleges frown upon this type of parent involvement and tend to question whether the student is ready to become an independent college student and adult.

Head over to Zinch to read the 10 biggest mistakes parents make.

admissions, college costs, college guidance, college planning, college transfer, mom approved tips

Mom-Approved Tips: Questions parents ask about college

 

Questions parents ask about collegeOver the years, parents have cornered me and asked me questions about the college admissions process and their college-bound teens. While those questions are varied, and sometimes specific as they relate to their own circumstances, parents undoubtedly have questions about the college prep process and beyond. Following are some of the most common questions parents ask about college.

About choosing a college

How many colleges do you think my teen should apply to?

Here’s a good formula: 3 reach colleges (colleges that might be a reach but still attainable), 4 good fit colleges (colleges that are a good match for the student), 3 safety colleges (colleges that the student will be at the top of the applicant pool). Having choices also means the colleges are in competition, which translates into negotiation for you with the financial aid package.

What’s the most important tip you could give me about the college admissions process?

Find those “perfect fit” colleges. Do the research and evaluate choices based on student body, academic programs, college visits, location and financial aid awards. If the college is a good fit, they will value the student for his/her contribution to the student body. Those are the colleges you want in your application pool.

About financial aid

Should I fill out the FAFSA even though I think we make too much money to qualify for financial aid?

YES. YES. YES. The FAFSA is what colleges use to determine your EFC (Expected Family Contribution) which is used to determine the financial aid package. This package is NOT just federal aid. It’s composed of grants, scholarships and loans (much of which is merit-aid directly from the colleges themselves). If you don’t fill it out, your teen can’t get ANY of that money.

We can’t afford to pay for college, does that mean our teen won’t be able to go?

There are all kinds of ways to finance a college education: student loans, work-study, college grants and scholarships. Everyone qualifies for parent and student loans. But be wise about your borrowing and consider the best options. Paul Hemphill with Pre College Prep has come up with a GREAT way to attend college on the cheap!

About SAT scores

My teen’s SAT scores aren’t that great; will it affect their admissions chances?

The bottom line is that most colleges do look at those SAT scores. But, it’s just part of the overall picture. The best advice I can give is MAKE CONTACT with an admissions representative from EVERY college your teen is applying to. This PERSONAL contact can and will make a difference when the admissions application is reviewed. Do this by visiting and making an appointment to speak with them. Then hang on to their card and stay in contact until acceptance letters arrive.

About organization

My teen is so scatter-brained and we keep missing deadlines–how can I help them get organized?

Set up a landing zone for college material. Use a desk, a file cabinet, a bulletin board, and a wall calendar to keep track of deadlines. Start this freshman year and remind them that their floor is NOT the landing zone. Once they get used to bringing everything to that one spot, it will be easier to find, file and locate all the college related materials.

About dealing with rejection

What do you do when your student is rejected? How do you handle your feelings? How do you handle your student’s feelings?

When it arrives you may want to try and spin it into a positive. Resist that temptation. It’s upsetting to both you and your student. Allow some time to display the emotions related to the disappointment and the feelings of rejection. It’s only natural to feel them and it certainly hasn’t been the first or the last time your student will be disappointed. Parents take these letters personally. How dare they reject MY child! Our disappointment can often overshadow the feelings our student has. Be careful and don’t project your disappointment on to your student. He/she feels bad enough already; the last thing they need to feel is that they disappointed their parents by not getting accepted.

Every student reacts differently. Some might shrug it off (to your surprise) and others might see this as the end of their world as they know it. The hardest part of this whole college process is dealing with disappointment and rejection. All the truisms in the world won’t help at this moment. Hold them, hug them, and let them know that you feel their pain. Don’t spout off truisms like “it will be ok” or “you don’t want to go there if they don’t want you.” Your student needs the time to deal with their disappointment and move on.

Once the time has passed and your student is able to be objective, use this as a life lesson. Remind them that there is a place for them and that there is a college where they will feel wanted and accepted. Point out that life is filled with disappointments that often turn into opportunities and you never know what lies ahead on the path you might not have originally chosen.

Every child faces disappointment and rejection throughout their life and a parent’s goal should be to help them face those hurtful times with love and perspective.

About college discontent

What do I do when my student wants to drop out of college or talks about transferring during the first semester?

Before you say anything listen to their reasons. Don’t scream and yell, listen. Your student is upset and needs to voice how they feel. It may not be logical or even feasible, but they need to vent and you need to listen. Stay calm and approach this by treating them as an adult. Use reasoning first and see if that helps. Most freshmen get immediately homesick, especially if they don’t get along with their new roommate or their coursework is overwhelming them. Usually by the end of the first semester they have settled in and have made some friends. Usually.

There may be very good financial reasons for them to stick it out and then re-evaluate at the end of the first year. It’s rare that your student will use finances as an excuse to transfer, but if they do, be prepared to answer with a logical explanation.

Is there a friend or a boyfriend encouraging them to move back home or join them where they are? This is the worst reason. Help them to understand that they made the choice to leave and it’s time for them to move on with their life. Holding on to the past will only cause them to miss the benefits of the future. They may be adults but you, almost always, hold the purse strings.

In most cases, you should stand your ground—at least until the end of the first year. Tell your student that if he/she still feels the same way at the end of the year you can revisit the option. It’s my experience that most students, later in life, thank their parents for giving them some tough love when they needed it.

I’m not saying it’s easy to listen to their pain and not act. And in some instances their mental health is much more important than drawing a line in the sand. But you know your child and you will know when they are just too unhappy and miserable to remain where they are. In some cases, they just chose the wrong school.

admissions, mom approved tips

Mom-Approved Tips: Stop stressing about college rejections

 

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college rejectionsIt’s that time of year. As the New Year approaches and regular admission dates loom in the very close future, parents begin stressing about college rejection. Although not as much as their kids do. Probably the most stressful time of senior year is waiting to hear from the colleges and dreading the wrong response. Why does this happen and what has caused everyone to be so stressed?

College elitism

Colleges have increased their marketing efforts toward parents and students. They use words like “elite”, “prestigious”,“top-tiered”, “Ivy League”, and “America’s Best Colleges” to lure students to apply. Many colleges are struggling financially and their goal is to acquire the best students with the deepest pockets. They promise results after graduation in the form of job offers from companies who promise high salaries and benefits. It’s no wonder the pressure is on to get offers of acceptance from these colleges.

Parent competition

The parent competition these days is fierce. It’s become almost insane the way some parents will do just about anything to get their student into one of these colleges. They will plop down huge amounts of cash, offer endowments, hire expensive college coaches, hire test tutors, and even go so far as to hire a professional writer to author their kid’s college essay. It’s often not about their kid’s future, but more about their bragging rights.

Student competition

The competition to get into college is greater than it ever has been. Education has such great value in the marketplace. Years ago, a bachelor’s degree was enough to put you at the top of the applicant pool. In today’s job market, the college degree is almost crucial to even be considered for employment. More and more students are applying to college and it’s become somewhat of a status symbol to brag about the colleges they are accepted to.

Stop stressing

Stop stressing about college rejections. In the bigger picture, which school your student attends has less to do with success than you might think. In a recent article by Jay Matthews, an education blogger for the Washington Post, college selectivity has little to do with success after graduation:

A 1999 paper by Princeton economist Alan Krueger and Mathematica Policy research scholar Stacy Berg Dale reported that, except for low-income students, the selectivity of students’ colleges did not correlate with their success in life, as measured by income. More influential were what the researchers called “unobserved characteristics,” such as persistence, humor and warmth.

It’s interesting that students usually develop these character traits long before they get to college. If you want to succeed, worry less about what college you get into and more about doing your homework, taking care of your chores and being nice to other people, as mothers have been saying for a long time. Whatever college accepts you, see it as a treasure trove of people and ideas that will lead you to a great life, maybe even a governorship, if that’s your dream. It is a very American story sometimes forgotten in our fashionable yearning for colleges that reject the most applicants.

Read the rest of his article to see some interesting statistics.

Additionally, sometimes those roads less traveled make all the difference. You never know in the grand scheme of things if a smaller, less prestigious college could be the perfect place for you student. Considering only 27 percent of students who enroll in college graduate, all the stressing in the world isn’t going to guarantee success. You can get a good, if not better, education from some of the less known or less popular colleges. It’s not about which college your student attends, but more about the fact that they do attend college.