With all the advice for moms, one of my Twitter followers (@PeachtreeCP) chimed in: “What about tips for dads?” I had to respond, “I’m not a dad, so I can’t speak for them.” But, it occurred to me that I did know some dads, one in particular, my brother. Both his children went to college. His daughter had a relatively typical college experience. His son, on the other hand, always marched, and still does, to the beat of a different drummer.
When I asked my brother to share his best advice, man to man, he graciously agreed to help. Here’s his response, word for word:
I’m not sure where to begin. I assume that the dad who wrote you wanted advice about the college process. I guess I’ll just share how I approached this with Cameron. Since he’s not the typical kid, my approach was unique to him. But this is how I did it.
- I gave guidance, but didn’t try to push him into my expectations for him
- I stressed the importance of education while he was thinking about what to do after high school
- I tried to show him how his interests (video production, photography, etc.) would be greatly enhanced by more education
- I gave him permission to make mistakes and take his time in determining his major
- I didn’t give him a completely free ride to college – we required that he have some investment
- I encouraged him to get a job while going to school
- I encouraged him not to get into debt with loans, but to pay as he could, semester by semester
- I finally recognized that college may not be his thing, so I gave him permission to say, “I want to do something else”, then I gave him my blessing
In retrospect, I think we could have done a better job of setting him up for a better first year away at college. We found a garage apartment for him to live in, but he lived alone. I think it would have been a better experience for him if he had other roommates going through the same struggles at college.
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Cameron chose to get a “real life” education, self-taught on the entrepreneurial route. It has not been an easy path, but he has certainly discovered his strengths and weaknesses while learning much about himself through self-discovery. He’s working at a job in a field he loves: video production.
For all you dads out there, the key here, according to my brother, is to know your child, give guidance when needed, stress the importance of an education, and give them the freedom to explore their own path in life. The college prep process has it’s own set of challenges and fathers can provide that stabilizing influence and strong support their college-bound teen needs.
Students spend a great deal of time listening to music in their dorm rooms. Whether they are studying, entertaining, or simply relaxing at the end of the day, their music can be a stress reliever. They probably have headphones, or if they are a boy, massive speakers. But the Insignia™ ultra-lightweight Bluetooth Speaker from Best Buy is the perfect mode for your student to listen to music. Not only are they portable and compact, but they are also affordable. (You will appreciate this after spending all your hard-earned money on dorm supplies). With each Insignia™ Bluetooth Speaker, you get the speaker, a USB charging cable and an owner’s manual, which easily walks you through the steps to connect to your other Bluetooth enabled products.
Here are some suggested uses your student might find for this speaker:
Letting go. It’s never easy. You and your student have worked hard to get to this day. The last year, especially, has been filled with excitement, stress, and anticipation of what the future would bring. The day is now here and you wonder why you ever encouraged her to go away to college. She may not say it, but she is most likely terrified of leaving home and wonders how she will be able to live apart from you. Emotions transition from anticipation to dread to sadness as you drop her off at college and say goodbye.
