Category Archives: parenting

college planning, parenting, Uncategorized

The Happiest Kid on Campus…

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…A Parents Guide to the Very Best College Experience (for you and your child!)

by Harlan Cohen, a bestselling author (The Naked Roommate), nationally syndicated advice columnist and professional speaker who has visited over 300 college campuses.

This is an advance review of Harlan’s new book scheduled to come out in May 2010.

I just finished reading an advance copy of The Happiest Kid on Campus: A Parent’s Guide to the Very Best College Experience (for you and your child!). It was like taking a trip down memory lane with both my kids and their college experiences. If only this book had been written eight years ago when I sent my daughter off to college, I might have avoided many sleepless nights, worried moments, and confusing dilemmas during those tumultuous four years. My favorite quote from the book: “Life (and college) is 90 percent amazing and 10 percent difficult.” It’s the 10 percent difficult that Harlan Cohen addresses in his book. And it’s that 10 percent difficult that ALL parents need to be prepared to deal with.

This book answers those nagging parental questions:

  • Will my child be safe?
  • How much should I be involved and where should I draw the line?
  • How do I help my child adapt to living away from home and getting along with others?
  • Is it OK to ask questions?
  • How much contact from home  is too much and how do I set boundaries?
  • What do I do when they call home with a crisis?
  • How do I talk to my child about sex, drugs, alcohol, academics, Greek life, roommates and getting involved?

Harlan uses tips and stories from students and parents to show us real-life college experiences. While doing that, he covers all the topics from the summer before college, to moving day, to the first few months, to parents weekends. He discusses controversial topics like drinking, sex, eating disorders, and even campus safety, offering parents direction and advice on how to discuss and handle them if and when they arise. He gets you up to speed on texting, Facebook and Twitter and discusses how to use them to stay informed and involved in your college student’s life without being intrusive.

On a personal note, while I was reading this book I was transported back to the early days of college when my daughter and I experienced so many of the college dilemmas Harlan discussed: overpacking for freshman year; dealing with a disagreeable and annoying roommate; living with her friends and regretting it; hazing during sorority rush; the freshman 15; struggling with certain classes and surviving; wanting to transfer because of a boyfriend; getting involved and finding her place. He addresses EVERY college dilemma with advice from his own experiences, other parents, students and college professionals.

If you’re a parent of a college-bound teen, you should pick up a copy of this book BEFORE your teen heads off to college. It will prepare you for their years in college and give you that peace of mind knowing that everything you are faced with is all part of the college experience. You’ll worry less, sleep more, and ensure that you and your child have an amazing college experience.

admissions, college planning, parenting, test prep, Uncategorized

Top 5 Test Prep Sites

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Your college-bound teen MUST do some sort of test prep. It will improve their scores and give them confidence when they take the test. Preparation and familiarization with the test and its formulas will give them an edge over the students who choose not to prepare.

Here are my recommendations for test prep sites:

elizabethonline

1. TutorsForTestPrep–Elizabeth writes a blog that gives some great tips and discusses the nuances of the tests. She takes the test herself every year and is familiar with its content and knows how to help your teen improve their scores. Read what Elizabeth said about her services:

Outsmarting the SAT

wordnerd

2. WordNerd–Sheldon walks your teen through practice tests, smart sets (words that go together), study roots (prefixes and suffixes) and gives a “nerd” word of the day. This is a good practice site to improve vocabulary. Read Sheldon’s advice on SAT prep:

Creating an SAT Study Plan

mindfish

3. MindFish—Your teen can play an SAT test game to help them master skills and you can dialogue with test prep and admissions professionals and other interested parents.

collegeboardsattestprep

4. CollegeBoard SAT Test Prep–The College Boards FREE test prep site for the SAT with practice tests, question of the day and sample practice questions.

allenprep

5. AllenPrep–Get an Ipod/Itouch/Iphone App here for just $9.99 and your teen can use it to improve their SAT vocabulary. They also provide testing software and offer a 2-day FREE trial to check it out.

college guidance, college planning, parenting

Information overload




Here’s a great article for your college-bound teen about STAYING ORGANIZED in college. This is one of my favorite topics for parent college coaches as well. It’s the only way to avoid feeling overwhelmed!

By Corey Bobco for The Real College Guide

Getting to school means … being slapped in the face with a semester’s worth of work. Stacks of syllabi have you overwhelmed? Breathe. We show you how to manage.

overloadYou’ve been on the college scene for a few weeks, having the time of your life and wondering what all the university hype is about. So far, all you’ve had to do for your grades’ sake is skim some course readings and listen to a few professors babble in the lecture hall. But then … BAM! After an enlightening series of classes one fine Monday, you realize you’ve got a biology exam and two 1,000-word essays on Homer and Joyce due — all by the end of the week.

Uh-huh. This scenario is all too common, even among seasoned students.
Sure, you can survive it, even if it means pulling a few all-nighters. But if you always let everything pile up until crunch time, your grades will eventually suffer. And so will you.

So how can you avoid epic battles with tests and deadlines so you don’t become a scholastic casualty? Stop stressing. Now. You can tackle time management and stay organized so your course work doesn’t get the better of you. Here’s how:

•    Stay on top of things! May sound like a no-brainer, but no kidding: If you don’t want schoolwork to pile up, you need to actively be aware of when it’s due. Pick up a portable planner — or if you’re computer-oriented, try an app like Google Calendar, which also conveniently syncs with your Gmail account — and copy the entire semester’s worth of assignments, exams and due dates into it from each class’s syllabus. And while we’re on the subject, be sure to carefully read all your syllabi. You may find sneaky stuff hidden in there, like “one full letter-grade drop for every unexcused absence” (true story). It’s better to know sooner rather than later.

•    Got notes? When you’re trying to figure out what’s crucial to know for a test or how to arrange course content into a viable essay, having good notes can be a real lifesaver, so pick up a few loose-leaf notebooks for jotting down info. We don’t recommend taking notes on your laptop — you risk getting distracted by the Internet and missing most of what’s said. Besides, paper provides a much more harmless way of keeping you entertained during idle moments (i.e., doodling).

•    Beating writer’s block When it comes to writing essays, getting those first couple of sentences down — or even just making an outline — can be a challenge, especially if it’s your first assignment. David Uskovich, a writing consultant at the University of Texas-Austin’s writing center stresses the importance of research: “It can put you in conversation with the material you’re trying to cover, which will help you make some connections so you’ll have something to start from when you actually sit down to write the paper.”

Freelance writer Lauren Brown, whose first young-adult novel is due out in the fall of 2010, offers this useful tip: “When I was in college at University of South Florida and had a paper due, there was nothing worse than staring at a blank computer screen and feeling like I had no thoughts in my head. The secret is to slowly condition your brain to start flowing by simply taking a few minutes to write via stream of consciousness. Just write down anything that comes to mind, even if you literally keep writing over and over, ‘Nothing is coming to mind.’ Eventually, your brain will warm up and more fluid sentences will emerge. After maybe 15 minutes or so of doing this, try again to start your paper. You’ll notice that you feel a bit more focused, way more relaxed, a little more creative and a lot less overwhelmed. Anytime you get stuck, just take a break and repeat this exercise.”

•    Outwit exams College tests come in many shapes and sizes, but as a general rule, liberal arts classes usually stick to short-answer and essay-oriented exams, while math and sciences often lean toward a multiple-choice format. For essay exams, it helps to find out beforehand from your professor or T.A. what the test will cover. It never hurts to ask them point-blank a couple of days before the test.

Third-year UT-Austin biology major Ben Cox points out that you can sometimes find many multiple-choice test questions from homework of previous years: “Math and science professors often take the basic idea of homework questions, even optional homework, and tweak only a few figures, leaving the concepts tested by the question intact.”

If you can get your hands on exams from previous semesters, these can also be helpful. Just ask around to find out who’s taken the class before you, or find out if your professor posts old exams on the course Web site. (Note: As long as you’re not memorizing answers, we don’t count this as cheating, but check out your school’s policy to avoid things like, duh, expulsion.)

“While the questions and even content might vary some from year to year, knowing the way your professors format their tests will do wonders for your preparedness,” says Cox.

So there you have it. Just by being organized and putting forth the effort to adequately prep for tests and assignments, you’ll be able to get more z’s … and more A’s — which is sure to put you on good terms with the parentals. And that always comes in handy, of course, whenever you want an “extra something.”

college guidance, college planning, parenting, scholarships

Scholarships for Homeschoolers

 

homeschoolMore than 2 million students per year are home schooled in the United States and the numbers increase every year. While there’s a lot of sacrifice going into providing that first rate education one thing homeschoolers don’t have to sacrifice is a college education.

While most scholarships don’t specifically exclude homeschoolers from applying, more and more are specifically including and even encouraging homeschoolers to apply. This may have something to do with the widely publicized studies revealing that homeschoolers have consistently scored higher on college entrance exams than their public school counterparts for the last eight years.

Homeschoolers should follow the same guidelines as other students when preparing for college. This means taking the SAT/ACT in your junior year as well as being active in your community. Many scholarship selection criteria lists extracurricular activities and/or community service as part of the decision process when awarding scholarships. That’s because scholarship committees recognize that while homeschoolers may not have the opportunity to be active in school-sponsored events, anyone can be involved in their community.

Every community has volunteer opportunities available for high school and college age young men and women that would not only benefit your community but would look great on a scholarship and/or college admissions application. Homeschoolers really have an advantage when it comes to preparing for college because of the flexibility to plan community and volunteer activities.

Don’t be put off by scholarships that require a specific GPA either because there are many such scholarships awarded to homeschoolers each year. True, you’re going to need high test scores to compete but the fact is anyone applying for scholarships needs to have high test scores and this is exactly what homeschoolers have become famous for. Some colleges and universities even openly recruit homeschoolers and set aside a homeschool day for just this purpose.

Here are just a few examples:

State Scholarships-Wyoming

Check out all scholarships pertaining to your state of residence. Chances are, state scholarships won’t be specific to homeschoolers but will either specifically include homeschoolers or won’t exclude them. This is just one example of a state scholarship that gives specific instructions for homeschoolers.

Hathaway Scholarship awards need and merit based scholarships to eligible students. Although GPA is a selection criterion for non-homeschooled students, students who are homeschooled can bypass this requirement and submit a list of classes completed and ACT or WorkKeys score. Homeschoolers must meet all other eligibility criteria and apply for admission to a post-secondary institution before the age of 21.

Applicants must meet the Hathaway scholarship specific requirements as set forth by the four different scholarships: Hathaway Career, Opportunity, Performance or Honor. Hathaway scholarships are for study at accredited Wyoming community colleges as well as the University of Wyoming.

For more information about the Wyoming Hathaway Scholarship and to view scholarship specific eligibility requirements, visit the Hathaway Scholarship Portal at the Wyoming Department of Education website.

Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA) – Patrick Henry College – Purcellville, VA

PHC Scholarship awards scholarships to eligible HSLDA members ranging from $1,000 to $1,500. This is a Christian college appealing primarily to Christian homeschoolers. Applicants must have financial need, outstanding academic achievement and be involved in community service. Applicant must be PHC Freshman who was homeschooled through high school and applicant’s family must have been member of HSLDA for 4 years.

Applicant must also submit two letters of recommendation and a personal testimony. For precise requirements and to access online application, read this pdf document.

Oral Roberts University – Homeschool Grant

Award amount is $2000. Applicant must have been homeschooled for 4 years and graduated from a homeschool. Must have already been accepted to ORU to apply. For more information and/or to apply for this scholarship, go here.

Michigan State University

Like many other colleges and universities across the United States, MSU not only welcomes homeschoolers but they also welcome scholarship applications from homeschoolers and require the same information from homeschoolers as they do traditional students, although it is understood that homeschool transcripts may be slightly different than those from traditional high schools.

Arizona Homeschool Scholarship Fund

In the summer of 2000, Arizona Families for Home Education (AFHE) formed the Arizona Homeschool Scholarship Committee (AHSC). Comprised of Valley business professionals, the AHSC established criteria and an administrative process to operate the Fund. Under the oversight of the AFHE Board of Directors, the AHSC reviews applications and recommends scholarship awards for qualified students.

From 2001 to 2009 the AHSC has awarded more than $50,000 to 39 outstanding homeschool applicants. To further expand the program AHSC has now added designated scholarships. The designated scholarship program allows donations in the name of an individual, family, business, or other entity. This approach allows donors to personalize the scholarships by specifying such things as amount, conditions, title, and purpose.

Those applying for scholarships should review the Arizona Homeschool Scholarship Fund Application Information and all designated offered scholarships before filling out the Scholarship Fund Application. These can be found on this Scholarship Opportunities link.

Homeschoolers should conduct their scholarship search just like other students. Most scholarships listed online provide an email address or a phone number of someone who is available to answer any questions about the scholarship or the application process.

You can also find scholarships by following this link:

http://www.homeschool.com/homeschool_contests_and_scholorships/default.asp

college guidance, college planning, parenting

Top 5 College Visit Sites

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With the widespread use of online videos, previewing college campuses has become a “must do” for parents and their college-bound teens. I like to call it “test driving” before you actually set foot on your narrowed down choices.

Here are my TOP 5 picks for those “test driving” sites.

smartcollegevisit

1. Smart College Visit-The educated way to visit a college campus and your one-stop site to find everything you need to know before the visit. With parent-to-parent stories, Smart-See-Smart-Do campus evaluations, travel tips and a place to search for the perfect hotel accommodations, Smart College Visit is committed to providing you with all the information you need to prepare for that all-important college visit.

youniversity

2. YoUniversityTV–Make a stop here to preview campuses, get a campus map, and view user submitted videos of campus life. The videos are more than campus tours; giving you a picture of life in and around the college.

universityparentnew
3. University Parent–Connect with the college campuses and download a college specific brochure with information about the surrounding area: hotels, off-campus housing, and storage facilities. Read what Sarah Schupp, the founder, said about her site:

University Parent-Your Parent Resource

collegeweeklive

4. College Week Live–This site is actually a “virtual” college fair site which is great for chatting with students, admissions officers and faculty. You can also direct-link to college websites through the college fair hall. Their spring college fair is coming up on March 24-25 and campus reps will be in attendance to answer your questions.

collegiate-choice-dvd-240w

5. Collegiate Choice–These DVD tours are videotaped college tours. Each tour is over an hour long and gives you an excellent idea of what a campus tour is like. Use this resource to narrow down your college tour choices. They are especially helpful when you are looking at campuses that require travel and enable you to see all types of campuses throughout the country. This is what Cliff Kamron had to say in a recent guest blog post:

10 Things we learned from videotaping 1200 college tours

college planning, parenting

Weathering the weather




With winter hanging around for longer than usual and everyone wishing for spring, I thought it might be great to share this post with parents about packing for college (as it applies to the weather). And remember our motto: Preparation Prevents Panic!

By Sarah Hubbs for The Real College Guide

If starting school means a move across the map, you’re in for a major change — in mercury. We’ll give you tips on how to bundle up or get your tan on in a new climate.

If your hometown is on one side of the map and your college on the other, you’re not just looking at a change of scenery: It may also mean a climate change. (No, we’re not referring to global warming.)

Hot, Hot, Hot?
Flying south? Going west? For those heading toward a warmer environment, first and foremost, one word: sunscreen! One in six Americans eventually develops skin cancer, so you do not want to fry yourself, OK? Yes, we know you love the sun, and it loves you. (Small amounts of exposure are essential for your body to produce vitamin D.) But if you really feel you must get some color, go for a fake ‘n’ bake. Self-tanning lotions do not create the orange streaks they once did, and tanning salons offer plenty of decent spray-booth options (Mystic Tan, VersaSpa, Magic Tan). Just for the record, UV tanning beds are just as bad for your skin as the real thing — don’t be fooled.

Another essential? A good pair of sunglasses with UV protection. Protecting the eyes from sun damage is important and often overlooked. Shades also make a superslick fashion statement (can I have your autograph, please?) and are priceless on a walk of shame.

Speaking of fashion, if most of your closet consists of corduroy pants, alpaca sweaters and down jackets, we suggest you hit the mall for a shopping spree. Even if your college is in an area that has all four seasons, the beginning and end of the school year can get pretty hot and humid. Here are some warm-weather wardrobe must-haves:

  • Swimsuits (for lying out on the quad)
  • Shorts
  • Cotton T-shirts
  • Tank tops
  • Flip-flops
  • A few sundresses (for the ladies)

Oh, and a few more things:

  1. Get some allergy medicine just in case the warm weather has you feeling a little stuffy.
  2. Invest in some bug repellent.
  3. Buy a refillable water bottle, especially if you’re athletic or otherwise physically active.

And if you’re still sweating it out, invest in a portable fan for those really sweltering days.

Baby, It’s Cold Outside
Brrr … if your college town is in a climate much chillier than what you’re accustomed to, get ready for the shock of your life. Some prep work is in order to be sure walking to and from class doesn’t result in freezing your buns off — or worse, frostbite. Just like the kids who are going to sunnier spots, you need to shop! Be sure to create a warmer wardrobe before the big move. Your cold-weather closet staples are as follows:winter

  • Winter coat (think: warm and waterproof)
  • Snow boots
  • Waterproof shoes
  • Heavy socks
  • Thermal underwear or leggings for layering
  • Sweaters
  • Knit scarves
  • Wool cap
  • Ear warmers
  • Gloves
  • Heavy pants of all kinds

The key to dressing in freezing temps is layering clothes. If it happens to be a warmer-than-usual day, you can shed a layer or two. On the flip side, if temperatures plummet, you can throw on an extra layer to hold in the body heat. Keep this concept in mind when shopping. Be sure your coat is big enough to go over a bulky sweater, for example.

And don’t forget:

  1. Bring plenty of warm blankets, since you may not have control over your dorm thermostat.
  2. Don’t let the weather get you down — or barricade you in. Bundle up and be social, or you’ll miss a season’s worth of outings.
  3. Stock up on hot chocolate, coffee, tea and other warm beverages to help defrost you when you get back to your dorm.
  4. Have cold medicine and tissues on hand, because few make it through the winter weather without ever feeling under it.
admissions, college guidance, college planning, parenting

Friday Q&A-Dropping a high school course

question-and-answer1Each week I will be posting a question that parents ask, along with the answer. If you have a question you would like for me to address, please email me or direct message me on Twitter (@SuzanneShaffer) and I’ll be happy to feature it.

Q. Is it ok for my teen to drop a high school course mid year?

A. Even if your college-bound teen comes to you and says that colleges won’t see their grades and it doesn’t matter, don’t cave. Colleges will make the admissions decision before final grades but they will also request an end of the year transcript. If your teen drops a course it will show there and may raise concerns.

Guidance counselors, with good reason, are vehemently against dropping courses. Some schools even require parents and students to sign a letter acknowledging the risk they are taking related to college admission.

According to Lee Bierer, an independent college adviser in Charlotte, North Carolina, “some students try to get creative and suggest substituting an online course instead of the one offered at their high school and this too is not looked upon favorably.” According to Brown University, “The very fact that they want to take it online instead will raise eyebrows. If they are taking it anyway, why don’t they just stay in class? If there is a scheduling conflict with another advanced course and the school endorses the change for that reason, then we’ll accept that, but if they are simply substituting an online option for an in-class option, we will be less understanding.”

Colleges review the final transcript and use it to gauge future performance based on the strength of the courses your teen takes. If colleges find out that they have dropped courses after they were admitted, it could be seen as grounds for revoking an offer of admission. And honestly, it’s not worth the risk.

Encourage your teen to stick it out. It’s a good lesson in perseverance and it will set a pattern for their college courses when they are tempted to drop them as well. And it will save the disappointment of admission being revoked at the last minute!

college costs, college planning, parenting

Scoring FREE stuff on campus




Everybody like freebies. Taking advantage of all the freebies that are given away on campus to college students is a MUST. Teaching your kids to watch for them is all part of being an effective parent college coach.. Why pay for something when it’s available for FREE?

By Lauren Joffe for The Real College Guide

It’s no urban legend: Free stuff is doled out on college campuses all the time. But it’s up to you to scout out where to find these complementary goods. From pizza to plane tickets to straight-up cash, we show you what you can get and how to score it … so keep reading.

free-stuff

Free Entertainment
Get tickets to concerts, sporting events, art exhibits, theater openings, forums and lectures.

How to score: Use your student ID card as an all-access pass. Every campus has a student union building, and if you’re unfamiliar with it, we suggest you become acquainted, since it’s plastered with bulletin boards announcing free upcoming events for students.

Free Food
Get free pizza, soda, snacks or breakfast, depending on the time of day.

How to score: Attend club meetings. “If you look in your student building and sign up for all the listservs, you will know when clubs and residence halls are giving away free food,” says New York University sophomore Doreen Naor. “With breakfast, you can basically always get muffins and coffee, and for real meals, most clubs give out pizza.” Join three clubs that meet weekly, and you’re looking at three regularly scheduled meals.

We also like CampusFood.com, where you can play online games that earn coupons for your next restaurant visit. A few clicks at a mindless computer game, and you can have yourself a free meal. Not too shabby!

Free Cash
Earn hard cash (typically from $5 to $10 for about an hour of your time — could be up to $100). No taxes taken out, no checks.

How to score: Participate in a focus group or study, which typically requires very little effort, such as filling out an easy survey. Head over to the campus psychology building, where you’ll find volunteer recruitment flyers.

Focus group companies pay more for your input. If your school is in a metropolitan area, check out focus group centers in need of college student participants. Go to FindFocusgroups.com to scope out opportunities near you.

Free Swag
Pick up product samples, coupons, gift certificates and other giveaway items, including iTunes cards, DVD players and even airline tickets.

How to score: “All you have to do is open your eyes and pay attention,” says NYU junior Annie Baer. “There are always people giving away free things [on campus].” Marketing companies often hire student reps to hold major promotions that often include giveaways and contests on college campuses. Next time you see a student rep giving out samples, ask if the campaign offers any other giveaways.

Note: You can get updates about sponsored events and contests directly from the source. By becoming a Facebook fan of brands or products you like, you can get automatic updates about big promotions and giveaways, and be the first to know about any contests they might be hosting.

college costs, financial aid, parenting

In the News: Students struggle to repay student loans

 

I came across an article on WalletPop in their Money College section by a recent college graduate. Pop over there and read her student loan story and make sure you are sitting down when you do:

One student’s losing battle with private student loans

Those student loans are tempting. Here’s the rationalization that sucks in many college students:

  1. You don’t have to pay them back until you graduate.
  2. The interest rates are usually lower than regular loans.
  3. Once you graduate, there’s a grace period (allowing you time to get a job).
  4. Almost EVERY student has some sort of student loan debt.
  5. If you can’t pay it back, you can always file for bankruptcy.
  6. They let you consolidate so your payments will be affordable.

All of those statements have some truth in them to some degree. However, it is EXTREMELY important that every college-bound student understand these truths:

  1. The interest usually accrues while you are in college (unless it’s a subsidized loan).
  2. Private loan rates are higher than federal student loan rates.
  3. Going into massive debt for an education is a BAD idea.
  4. Many student loans are not forgivable in bankruptcy.
  5. That grace period creeps up on your FAST!
  6. You may not land a job that pays enough to make those monthly student loan payments.

Parents–please counsel your teens on the downfalls of having tremendous amounts of student loan debt. Encourage them to be financially responsible and prudent when borrowing money for college. Those loans can shackle them for many years after college graduation.

 

college guidance, college majors, college planning, parenting

When a parent disapproves of a child's career choice

options-susan-pOur guest blog post today is by Susan Posluszny, the founder of OPTIONS for Career & Life Planning, specializing in unique programs and services to support students with college major and career planning. Susan is a Master Career Counselor with over 25 years of career counseling experience including 18 years as a college career center director. She is the author of In Search of a College Major & Career Direction, an interactive program designed to support teens and young adults with choosing a college major and career path.Her career counseling and coaching practice is located in New Boston, NH. Subscribe to Susan’s e-newsletter, Career Options, at www.collegesandmajors.com

While watching the Food Network channel one day, I happened upon a series called ‘Chefography’.  This episode of Chefography featured a biographical account of Wolfgang Puck’s journey to success.  I knew little about this renowned chef but I was intrigued since I’d recently been to Disney World and had a great experience at his restaurant, Wolfgang Puck Café, in Downtown Disney.  While annual revenue from his cluster of businesses now averages millions of dollars, his father did not approve of his career interest and his early career experiences were quite shaky.

wolfgang-puckAt the tender age of 14, Puck left his home to work as an apprentice in a hotel kitchen.  Evidently, young Puck was a bit of a klutz and the chef threw him out and sent him back home to his parents.  He was ashamed to face his father with the news of his job loss since his father was against this career choice.  Dreading going home, he spent hours on a bridge contemplating suicide while looking over a river that ran through town. Eventually, Puck went back and hid in the hotel’s basement, peeling potatoes for the kitchen workers, until the chef discovered him two weeks later.  The chef appreciated Puck’s tenacity and made arrangements for him to apprentice in another hotel’s kitchen.  Puck’s career took numerous twists and turns over time as he honed his culinary skills and began his ventures as a restaurant owner.

As I watched this show, I couldn’t help but imagine the emotions that surged through Puck as he contemplated facing his father or committing suicide.  It’s natural for children to want to please their parents and fear of parental scorn can weigh heavily on a child.  If young Puck had committed suicide, would his father have realized the role his influence played in the choice to end his life?  As I reflected further on Puck’s life and career, I couldn’t help but wonder what his father must think of his son’s career decision now that he’s a successful businessman and one of America’s most famous and influential chefs.  I expect that he no longer considers his son’s decision to have been a poor one.

Research that I conducted while working as a college career center director revealed that parents are the number one influence in the career and college major choices made by their children.  That influence may be subtle, and beyond the conscious awareness of the child, or not so subtle as was the case with young Puck and his father.  Now I suppose you could argue that his father’s influence actually helped to lead young Puck to success.  You might say that what helped Puck to hang in there, when the going got tough, was wanting to avoid hearing his father say, ‘I told you so’.  I don’t know about you, but I can’t help think that there are better ways to influence a child.

As parents, it can be most challenging to support a child’s career decision when it goes against the grain of our own personal values and the future we envision for that child.  Yet, we can never know what the future holds and where a chosen path may lead.  As children grow, they need to cultivate a sense of self in order to one day make their own way in this world.  Along with a growing sense of self, they also need to develop confidence in their ability to take positive action towards their career goals.  This includes learning how to identify their career and lifestyle preferences, how to explore career options that match those preferences, and where to go to gain the skills and life experiences that will move them in a direction of their own choosing.  Parents can help their children to build self confidence by telling them they believe in their ability to take positive action on their own behalf.  Parents can also facilitate a growing sense of self by encouraging their children to engage in activities and experiences that let them explore and reality test their career interests, so that they are making informed choices.  Yes, as parents, we are the number one influence in the lives of our children.  It’s up to us to decide the form that our influence will take.

If you would like to contact Susan or find out more information about the services she provides, you can contact her at:

Her websites: www.careeroptions4me.com and www.collegesandmajors.com

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/susanposluszny

Email:  susan@careeroptions4me.com